'I can't see you running away anymore.' I couldn't comprehend why I believed her. Nor why I followed her to the small apartment she had rented. It was all too much. Having someone tell me about a future I had never planned nor even imagined. And her overwhelming emotions weren't helping me process all of this either. They still intoxicated me, dulled my thoughts, and made me just want to be in her presence.

"We can wait the storm out here. Things should calm down by nightfall," she explained, picking the gloves from her hands, and putting them down on the dresser next to the door.

I kicked my dirty boots off by the entrance, not wanting to stain the expensive-looking carpet. It wasn't a big space, a small corner kitchen, a bed—not that she needed either—, and a sitting area with two armchairs and an antique-looking couch table. A single door led into another room.

"I thought that you might want to take a shower? It's been a while since you had the opportunity to wash."

I looked at her in confusion. How does she know? And what the hell is a 'shower'? She couldn't have meant a shower of rain, as she wasn't gesturing towards the entrance but instead the door leading to another room.

"I'm not sure I understand," I admitted.

"Ah, silly me. I sometimes get ahead of myself. It's not easy to live in multiple decades at once. A shower is this new thing that's going to get really big soon. It's basically taking a bath but standing up," she explained. "Come on, I'll show you."

Without hesitation, she pulled open the door to the adjacent room. I was surprised to find a fully furnished bathroom. Alice immediately headed for the bathtub that had been pushed towards the back wall. There was a second tap attached to the wall as well, hovering multiple feet above the tub. I jumped when a jet of water suddenly started to spurt from it.

Alice laughed. It was a wonderful sound, like a dozen silver bells ringing simultaneously.

I ducked my head, embarrassed by the reaction. But this whole situation was just so strange, so unfamiliar, it made me tense. Only the endless affection that she emitted every time she looked at me, soothed my nerves slightly.

"There's going to be so many new inventions for you to discover. But I'll leave you to it now. If you need anything, just call out. I'll be right outside the door." And with these words, she disappeared and closed the door behind her.

Finally alone, I allowed myself to take a breath. She wasn't wrong, it had been months since I last crossed a river. And one couldn't really call that 'washing' either. It would probably feel nice to be clean again. Especially in her presence. But to some extent, I had gotten used to the dirt. It was like a thin suit of armour, shielding me from the outside. Hiding my battle scars from prying eyes. On the other hand, there was this huge cloud of excitement and anticipation floating just outside the bathroom door. It felt wrong to disappoint her.

Slowly, I stripped out of the layers of stolen clothing that had accumulated over the last months and stepped into the bath. The water was warm, an unexpected but very welcome surprise. I couldn't remember when I had last had something close to a hot bath.

Standing up felt strange, so I settled down in the tub, right next to a neat line of different flasks that had been arranged on the tub's rim. However, I couldn't find a single bar of soap. Eying each of the containers sceptically, I eventually found one labelled 'liquid soap' behind multiple bottles containing something called 'shampoo'. Bubbles accumulated as I poured some of it into my hands and rubbed them together. Whatever special new type of soap it was, at least it behaved somewhat like the product I used to know. And it did its job of removing most of the dirt from my body. Unfortunately, my hair was an entirely different story.

I had owned a comb back in my Confederate days. A going-away gift from my mother. It survived the human war but was quickly lost after my transformation. Broken by the incomparable strength of a newborn vampire. Peter had loaned me his a few years back when I still travelled with them. But by then some of the strands had already been so hopelessly tangled that I'd given up immediately. I didn't have better luck now, standing in front of the small bathroom mirror, towel around my hips, trying to separate them with my fingers. Cutting them off would probably be the most practical avenue now. I would ask Alice for scissors later.

I had only just turned from the mirror when a loud protest suddenly resounded from the other room. "No!"

Alice entered the bathroom without warning, taking me by surprise. I instinctively snarled at the intruder, ready to jump and dismember her.

Regret flooded her tiny body and as she defensively raised her hands, I slowly relaxed. She was no danger to me, even if she wanted to. She probably couldn't even properly reach my neck.

"I—I'm sorry," she stammered, her eyes fixated on my bare chest. I clenched my jaw, readying myself for the alarm and disgust I was used to sensing at the sight of my scarred skin. But there was nothing but pure delight and affection from her. It was worse.

I turned away from her. There was no escaping her emotions but at least I wouldn't have to bear at the fondness in her gaze anymore.

My behaviour hurt her. I could feel the sting. "So sorry, I didn't want to startle you. But I had a vision and… Please, do not cut your hair. Let me help, I'm sure we can fix it."

I didn't react to her demand. I still couldn't understand why she cared. Her feelings were indisputable; she was in love with me. Some future version of me. But whoever that man, deserving of her love, was, it wasn't me.

"There's something fresh to wear for you on the washstand."

I couldn't stand the resignation in her voice. And despite it having been years since I last tried to soothe someone's emotions, I carefully reached out to hers to lessen her grief. The door closed again without me knowing if it had worked.

xxx

Despite her having pointed it out earlier, I was surprised to find fresh underwear and socks, brown trousers, and a tan shirt on the washstand. The amazement only grew, when I put them on finding that everything fit perfectly. That gift of hers truly was something.

I gathered my discarded clothes from the floor, folding them as neatly as possible without getting the new ensemble dirty. Alice immediately picked them from my hands when I returned to the other room, carelessly throwing them into the trash can next to the kitchen aisle. There was so much determination in her action that I didn't dare to interfere. One look at her content face and I was disarmed. By such a tiny woman. This is laughable. What am I even doing here?

"I hope your shower was nice?" she asked, disappearing into the bathroom.

Unsure whether she wanted me to follow her, I buried my hands in the pockets of my trousers. "Yes, ma'am."

"Such a gentleman," she purred, re-appearing in the doorway. "And the clothes fit?"

I nodded, evoking a content sigh from her.

"I'm glad my eye measurements are getting better. I've been training them."

I had no idea what to reply to that. But I didn't have to say anything at all. Alice seemed to have this all planned out already, gesturing towards one of the armchairs, a brush in hand. "May I help with your hair now?"

Pure anticipation and joy hit me as she spoke, making it impossible to refuse her. I wondered if she had already seen the outcome of this discussion, as I turned to the sitting area. Before I could even take a proper step towards it, Alice sped past me, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. The corners of my mouth twitched. How long had she waited for this to happen?

Slowly and with one eye always trained on her, I lowered myself to the floor. Alice had arranged herself in a cross-legged position, waiting with eager fingers for my head to get close enough that she could get to work. I couldn't remember anyone ever being this eager to be so close to me.

Her face eventually disappeared behind the back of my head. But I didn't need to see her to know how content she was with the turn of events. Still, I was careful to pull one of my legs in close enough that it would be easy to get away, should her hands wander too far around my neck.

However, my apprehensiveness soon dissipated. Alice's emotions quickly had me encompassed in a cloud of joy and warmth as she gently separated the tangled strands of my hair. Pure euphoria ran through my veins, whenever her fingers accidentally brushed against my scalp or forehead. The darkness of the past decades never seemed farther away, and I felt myself closer to the blissful trance that I imagined heaven to be than should ever be possible for a damned creature like me.

I couldn't tell for how long we had been sitting in silence when the sunlight broke through the clouds outside, illuminating the room and reflecting in fine crystals off our skin.

Alice sighed contently. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your hair is in the sunlight? It's like rich honey, almost golden."

Her fingers gently ran through a few strands on the left side of my head. I couldn't believe that they passed through without being stopped. She had truly been able to separate the mess. At least a few strands of it.

"My mother did," I replied. She had always loved my hair, wishing that her daughter would have inherited her father's blonde as well rather than her own muddy brown.

Regret suddenly stained Alice's perfectly positive emotional compass as she sighed again. "I can't remember my human life."

"Mine grows hazier by the year too," I tried to console her. Somehow, I couldn't stand to feel such sorrow from her.

"That's not how I meant it. I cannot remember anything of my human life. I never could. When I woke from the transformation, I had no recollections at all. I didn't even know my name… Until you told me." The regret slowly disappeared, being replaced with a rejuvenating burst of affection.

I wanted to remind her, that it couldn't have been me but then spotted the corner of her drawing sticking out from the coat hanging over the backrest of the other chair. She was talking about a vision. I reached out and, as Alice let go of my hair for a moment, closed my fingers around the paper. She didn't react to what I was doing, immediately returning to her task as soon as my head was back within her reach.

"How long have you been seeing me?" I asked, examining her rendition of a future me again, unable to believe that the scene was truly ever going to happen. And in less than a decade, she said!

"You were the first person I saw, immediately after my transformation. That was in the Spring of 1920."

1920, I mused. She had waited 28 years to find me. "Why didn't you come looking for me earlier?"

"I thought about it," Alice admitted, her fingers pausing. "But every time I made up my mind, our future disappeared. I couldn't risk that."

My eyes returned to the drawing as she continued reminiscing. "There were a few times where I almost did…"

Her sudden anguish met me with full force. I winced and turned around, but her eyes were closed.

"I've seen you die so many times…," she whispered.

Although her pain hurt me as well and I wanted nothing more than to make it go away, I couldn't. I was too stunned by the insanity of the situation. She, a person I had only met a few hours ago, mourned the possibility of my death with such force that she easily outshined Maria in her best days. Even Peter, who I considered my closest friend these days, didn't compare.

Alice opened her eyes again and smiled at me. Her torment disappeared as quickly as it had shown up. Her hands reached out and gently turned my head away from her, so she could continue her work.

It took me a few seconds longer to compose myself. But once I did, I returned to examining the drawing in my hands.

"Who are they?" I finally asked.

A new wave of her affection washed over us. Not romantic love, but the care one experienced for family. I barely remembered it from my human days.

"The Cullens," she said. "When I first saw them, it was just Carlisle and Edward. Carlisle is the oldest one, he considers himself the father of their family." She pointed at a fair-haired man in the middle of the picture.

I raised an eyebrow. "Family? You mean he's the leader of the coven?"

"They consider themselves to be more of a family than just a coven," she explained.

I filed her remark away under inexperience. She probably hadn't seen too many covens yet. Or she would know that our kind couldn't live together without a strong leader. Especially not in such a large group.

"Carlisle is married to Esme, the one on his right. She joined them shortly after I first saw them. Edward's the one next to her."

I followed the faces she was pointing out. They all seemed happy in her rendition, smiling at the camera, arms wrapped around each other. I could have been fooled into believing that it was a family picture if I hadn't known they were vampires.

"Rosalie was the next Carlisle turned. That was in 1933. Beside her is her husband, Emmett. Carlisle turned him just over a decade ago, in '35. I haven't gotten around to finishing him yet but there should be another drawing of him around here somewhere if you want to see it."

"That's not necessary," I said. Her sketch was enough to make out that this Emmett was a bear of a man. Taller than me, if the drawing was to scale, and at least one-and-a-half times as wide.

"You are really going to like Emmett. I've seen you two cooking up all sorts of shenanigans. Plus, Emmett really likes to brawl. He hasn't won against you so far though." Alice chuckled.

I gently shook my head and carefully re-folded the paper. This was crazy. Me, cooking up shenanigans. Fighting for fun. She must have gone insane from being alone for too long. And despite how healing her presence is for me, I shouldn't entertain her fantasies any longer. It's time to go.

Alices fingers froze and when I turned to her, there was a blank expression on her face. She didn't react to me getting up and returning her drawing either. Only when I walked over to the trashcan to look for my coat, her eyes finally blinked, and she jumped from her spot.

"You're leaving. Why do I see you leaving?! You can't leave!" Her voice was alarmed, and her emotions were quickly overtaken by sadness and frustration.

I tried to calm her down, but my talent betrayed me. I couldn't get a grasp on her feelings.

"Where are you even going to go? Back to Maria?! She'll kill you. And if she doesn't do it herself, one of the newborns will! You'll refuse to feed and then your hunger will mess with your brain and…" A tearless sob cut her off. "Can't you see that I am trying to help you?"

I was frozen by her sorrow, unable to walk out the door. "No one can help me."

"I can. Carlisle can. I've seen it. You just have to trust me, Jasper," she pleaded. I had never imagined that a body as tiny as hers would have been able to emit such earth-shattering despair.

I'm hurting her, I suddenly realised. I was hurting that perfect little creature that had brought me nothing but relief from my depression from the moment I met her. "Alice…," I started, unable to finish the sentence.

"No, you listen to me," she said, stepping up to me. She had to bend her head back considerably to look up to me. But there was determination on her face. "I've waited too long to just let you go. You're hurting. You've been hurting for years. But you don't have to, Jasper. You don't have to be that person you hate anymore. You don't have to kill humans just to survive."

"We're vampires. That's what we do," I scoffed.

"Not all of us. Carlisle doesn't. Esme doesn't. Edward doesn't. Rose and Emmett don't. I haven't—well, except for the occasional slip-up. I know you've wondered about the eyes. It's animal blood, Jazz. Animal blood turns our eyes golden. And it has been sustaining me for the last 28 years."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Animal blood? That was crazy. Even crazier than her story of vampires living as a family. But she believed every word she said with her whole heart. And her eyes… I swayed and caught myself at the wall next to me. "Living off animal blood. Could such a thing really be possible?"

"It is," Alice replied to my thoughts which I had unintentionally spoken aloud. "I can show you, if you let me."

There it was again. The hope she had gifted me before. And this time I was one hundred percent positive that it wasn't coming just from her.

I nodded slowly. "Show me."