I glared at the carcass in front of me. The creature, some type of deer, stared back with dead empty eyes, mocking me. It had been a clean kill, quick and without struggle. Alice would be pleased that my shirt remained spotless. But then, killing had never been the issue.
A single red line ran down the animal's neck from where I had ripped out a handful of fur. Alice had suggested it a few weeks back, when I was struggling to remove the last remnants of a fox from my teeth. It made the experience slightly less inconvenient, but unfortunately fur never had been the main issue either.
It was the taste.
Bitter and at the same time incredibly bland, it took all my willpower to force a few sips down my throat, even though thirst was burning like never before. I needed to feed. And still, I wasn't able to finish a whole animal. The taste was just too much to bear.
Defeats had been small and fleeting in my second life, most of them of the emotional kind. Despite hating some parts of it, I was good at what I did. All the battling, the conquering, the feeding—it had come as a second nature to me, my scars a constant testimony to the fact that I never lost a fight. And yet over the last weeks, I frequently found myself bested. By animals, nonetheless.
It was not that I didn't want to. If the acid scorching my throat hadn't been enough motivation, Alice would certainly have been. I wanted to please her. And yet every time I sunk my teeth into one of the multitudes of animals she had suggested, my stomach started to rebel, and I was painfully reminded of the fact that this was not natural.
Vampires were made to feed on humans. To haunt them in the dead of night and drain the sweet elixir that gave them mortal life. Animals were meant to sustain our livestock, not us. Just like grass wasn't meant to feed them. But it was possible. Alice had assured me countless times that it was. And so, I kept trying. And failing.
Like defeat, frustration had never been a companion to me before. It certainly was now.
I could hear Alice's steps on the frozen snow a few hundred feet away. Strong and fast, yet still incredibly light. They were more spaced out than usual and met the ground in an irregular rhythm. She was skipping, I realised. Immediately, the image of her chasing her prey through the winter forest flooded my mind. Trees covered in ice crystals framing her path, shedding a few ounces of snow when she flew by. Eyes closed, her mind always one step ahead. Graceful and delicate, yet undeniably deadly.
She was the best of us. And I couldn't even bring myself to finish one goddamn deer with fancy antlers.
xxxx
"How did it go?"
My musings were interrupted by her melodic voice as she joined me a few minutes later. I had sensed her coming, the incredible bubble of sunshine she always carried around gently pulling my mind into her direction. Her presence chased away the frustration. She was fighting my battles for me, without even knowing.
Her slender fingers brushed my right arm, and I carefully took her hand into mine, knowing the joy this simple gesture would bring her. I craved it. Perhaps this was what I had become: frustrated and selfish.
I fleetingly contemplated lying to her, but quickly discarded the thought. I couldn't disgrace her with such insolence. Not after all she had done for me. All she still did every day. "I couldn't finish," I finally admitted, tossing the carcass another look and wishing it would disappear into thin air.
"It's fine, Jasper. You tried, and you'll keep trying. That's the most important part," she reassured, but her smile couldn't fool me. I had felt the flicker of frustration before she was able to hide it.
"I'm sorry that I'm disappointing you."
Alice rested her chin on my arm as she looked up at me. Her eyes were pure liquid gold now, no trace of thirst left in them. "It's not that… It's just— I wish Carlisle were here. He'd be able to help you so much better. I have no idea what I'm doing."
I bowed my head, meeting her eyes halfway. "You are helping me, Alice. You have no idea how much." I gently squeezed her hand, then straightened up again. "Plus, I like that it's just the two of us right now."
This brought a smile back to her lips and I could sense a renewed wave of affection wash over her. I basked in it, holding her hand tightly. It was a strange thing. She had probably seen moments like these a hundred times over, yet her emotional response to them was always heightened. I attributed it to the fact that she had waited so long. The anticipation must have been killing her at times.
"It's really nice to have you for myself too," she agreed and took a step back. I let her hands go. "However, I was going to ask you if you'd be okay on your own for a few hours? I would really like to go into town and get a few things for our cabin."
My mind immediately sharpened, pushing her blissful emotions to the back where they could no longer daze my thoughts. She wanted to go into town. Alone. No. Not again. What if something happened to her? I would be too far away and too thirsty to do anything as long as humans were around. This was not an option.
Not unless I knew that she would be safe. Unless she proved to me that she could fend for herself.
Alice's body stiffened and her expression went blank the moment my leg shifted back into the familiar stance of my past life. My arms shot forward only a split-second later, grabbing her— and finding nothing but air.
"Jasper?!" she screeched, but I had already lunged for her again, this time aiming straight at her throat. Her dress grazed my thigh but that was all I felt. Cold winter air met me in the spot where she had stood. It didn't matter that I hadn't gotten her this time. She had left her left side unguarded as she evaded my manoeuvre. My eyes had immediately registered the flaw.
Instinctively falling into a crouch and turning towards the rustling of her petticoat, my right leg shot out and swooped hers from beneath her. I had my arms around her waist-long before she could meet the ground. Her neck was completely exposed, and I shuddered at the thought of how easy it would be to forever separate her beautiful mind from that delicate body.
I only held her for a split second before she vanished, leaving behind traces of confusion and fear. I was pleased by the latter. At least she was aware of how brutal the situation could have ended if it hadn't been me. If I didn't yearn to keep her safe.
I straightened my back and turned to look at her. Alice was now standing a good twenty feet from me, arms crossed and a frown on her face. She was not amused.
"Why are you attacking me?!" she demanded to know but I didn't respond. I was much more interested in the answers to the questions that were running through my mind.
"Why didn't you evade me the third time?"
"What?!"
"Why didn't you move away? Didn't you see it coming?"
"No, I didn't!" she pouted. "And if you don't explain what this is about immediately, I'm going to be very put off with you."
"I can't protect you when you're in town. I need to know that you can fend for yourself. At least well enough to get away and come back to me."
Alice dropped her arms and the anger disappeared just as quickly as it had flared. However, she wasn't fully appeased yet. I sensed an unusual amount of annoyance overshadowing her cheerful personality. And she didn't leave me guessing why for long.
"I've been on my own for almost thirty years, Jasper. I can take care of myself."
"I know that and it's unfortunate. But I didn't know you back then. Now I do. And I can't have my mate walking around unable to defend herself."
Her face softened immediately, and a cloud of affection floated over the frozen ground in my direction. I couldn't comprehend how the snow was able to resist the incredible warmth of her joy. But then, the snow didn't share my gift.
"Your mate?" she repeated, her voice laced with disbelief.
I was surprised by how easily the words had left my mouth as well. Only a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have remotely entertained the thought of sharing this ageless existence with someone else. Knowing what my depression had done to Peter and Charlotte, the idea of a companion—a mate even—was impossible at least. But then Alice had come along. And to her, the unreachable wasn't just an idea. It was a fact. A future she believed in with her whole heart. And it had made me believe.
The countless hours we had spent in the cabin, her recounting the numerous adventures we were going to have and me basking in the incredible emotional atmosphere that accompanied her tales of our future, hadn't just convinced me that it was possible. They had made me crave it. This future that once had felt more like a fairy tale than a possibility was now mine, and I was going to achieve it. I needed to achieve it.
I ushered the thoughts to the back of my mind. None of her visions were ever going to become reality if she was killed by a paranoid nomad. I needed to ensure that something like this would never happen.
"That's what you saw, isn't it?" I replied and moved closer to her. "I just want you to be safe, Alice."
She brushed a few stray strands of hair from my eyes, smiling gently. "Fine, if it will make you feel more comfortable."
"It will. Now tell me how it works. What did you see when I attacked and why didn't you evade the third time?"
"I saw your first attack very clearly. But after that… You know how I told you that my visions are just possibilities? Initially, I just saw a couple of different outcomes, depending on how I reacted to your first move. My response then opened up numerous avenues for the second attack, and so on and so on. By the time you went for my legs, there were too many uncertainties. I couldn't figure out which one you'd go with fast enough."
I nodded pensively. "We won't let it get this far then."
She cocked her head to the side in confusion.
"We're going to aim at you being able to finish on the first move. This way, you don't ever get into the territory of all these uncertainties," I explained. "But first, I'll teach you how to fight. I don't want you to rely solely on your gift."
"That sounds like fun!" Alice agreed and earned a deprecating look from me in return. Fighting wasn't and should never be considered fun. She, however, didn't seem to mind my disapproval. Instead, she took my hand again and pulled me in the direction of the cabin. "Come on, let's get changed. I can't wait to see how I'll fare against you."
xxxx
Poorly, was the answer. I had her pinned within one or two moves every time she attacked me that day. Alice's initial excitement additionally got clouded by me asking her not to use her gift. However, an unexpected drive sparked inside her simultaneously, keeping her interested. Even though I caught her time and time again, she just didn't give up.
By sundown on the second day, she had me on my back for the first time. Sure, I had most of my attention glued to her moves, taking note of every single flaw and already planning on how to keep her from doing them again. Still, I was impressed.
"I got you!" she exclaimed, completely elated.
I smiled. "You have. But you hesitated your left hand, and your stance is still too narrow."
"Again. I won't hesitate this time," she promised. And from this point on, she was unstoppable.
We trained most of the following days and nights, only halting for the occasional hunt or to rest for a few hours. Alice was like a sponge, gobbling up my corrections and comments, always ready to put them into action.
I was incredibly proud of the way she had committed herself to the training. And thus, when she talked to me about going into town again a week later, I let her go. She returned after a few hours, unharmed. The only monster she had encountered being five enormous paper bags that Alice somehow was able to fill to the brim, despite the small town only holding two shops, one of them solely selling fishing gear.
A/N: We have a training scene! I've been so excited for this chapter for multiple reasons but mainly, ever since reading Eclipse, I was 100% convinced that Jasper taught Alice a fair share of fighting skills. I just couldn't get rid of the headcanon and this is what came out of it! I hope you enjoyed it :-)