All my stories have been translated from German to English. Since English is not my native language, translation errors may occur. But I hope that they are not too serious. If you notice any, feel free to tell me.
Have fun!
XXX
At 221B Baker Street, it was unusually quiet today. That might have been because there was no one in the house except John Watson. Good so. Then John had enough time to think about some things. Sherlock Holmes, for example.
The doctor was in a clearly awkward position. He had been living under the same roof as the detective for many years, so far so good. But lately things had changed. His feelings had changed for some reason. John didn't know when, let alone how, this could have happened, but what he did know was that he suddenly had deep feelings for this more than strange man. Feelings that went deeper than friendship. At first John had not wanted to admit this to himself, but slowly it was simply undeniable. He behaved differently in Sherlock's presence. He made mistakes more often, noticed how he stared at the detective more and more obviously, how he tried to make physical contact, subtly, he hoped.
And Watson was sure that the consulting detective had already noticed. After all, he was such a genius and saw right through everything and everyone. It would surprise John if he hadn't deduced the changes in his behavior right away.
So how was he going to undo all those feelings? How did he manage to get back to normal? Was perhaps his standard phrase "I'm not gay" to blame? Had he done something for which his karma was now taking revenge?
It was certain that John now had these feelings on his neck. And he had to get rid of them urgently. So what did he do about unwanted feelings? Leaving was not an option. He enjoyed his detective work far too much for that. Besides, he wanted to stay with Sherlock, and it wasn't just his feelings that were responsible for that. He had made Sherlock a good friend, and he didn't want to jeopardize that with a few ridiculous feelings. So there had to be another way.
While John continued to sit in his chair and stare into space, he suddenly had an idea! He had to tell him! He had to tell Sherlock how he felt. The detective probably knew anyway, so there would be nothing but embarrassment between them. And from what John knew of him, Sherlock didn't return his feelings, after all, he had said himself that he was married to his work. That meant he would reject him. And what better way to deal with his feelings than after a rejection? Maybe if he heard it from the detective's mouth, he could finally get some closure. Maybe then it was possible to finally return to their usual order - in as much as their lives could be called orderly. Yes, he would do that! Now he just had to wait for Sherlock to come back. Where was he, anyway?
"Ahhrr!" John heard the voice of his crush, as if on cue. He was stomping up the stairs and sounded anything but happy. Annoyed, he cursed under his breath.
"Why do these stupid criminals always have to run away?" let out Sherlock angrily as he stopped at the door, dripping wet, and dropped his coat on the floor.
"Sherlock! Don't leave your coat there. It takes forever for the carpet to dry!", John immediately reprimanded him and got up from his chair to walk towards Sherlock.
"Then pick it up," was the only response John got. Typical Sherlock. This guy really didn't care about anything either, except his cases. If John, as well as Mrs. Hudson, didn't regularly keep this place in order, the detective would have already been suffocating in his own filth. So John let himself be tempted to pick up the detective's coat and take it into the bathroom, where he laid it over the edge of the bathtub. There it could dry for the time being.
"What happened, anyway?" asked John when he came back from the bathroom and saw a completely naked Sherlock in front of him. For a moment, the doctor had completely forgotten what he had just asked. Instead, he stared at the body in front of him, trying not to be too obvious about it.
"The gardener did not let himself be arrested. When I had just convicted him, we were regrettably standing next to a pond in the garden, and while he was escaping, that complete idiot actually threw me in!" - Sherlock was still visibly upset by the incident and vented his anger. Watson, on the other hand, tried to follow the detective's words and not to let his body distract him too much. He was all the more relieved when Sherlock disappeared briefly into his room to put on some clothes.
When he came back out, he finally had his pants on again and a shirt thrown over his shoulders. He was still barefoot and his hair was in lazy strands on his forehead, but at least he was zipping up his shirt. Calming down, John took a breath and remembered what he had thought to do before. He had to tell Sherlock about his feelings in order to get his rejection, so that everything would finally be back to normal. As soon as possible!
"Sherlock? I need to talk to you," John began hesitantly for a moment, waiting for the detective to stop pacing back and forth pointlessly.
"Aren't we doing that right now, John?" replied Sherlock with a counter-question, not seeming to intend to stop anytime soon. Knowing him as John did, he was probably just thinking. It's a wonder he hadn't unpacked his violin yet.
"Will you please stop already. It's really important" - And who would have thought it? Sherlock did as he was told for the first time. He stopped and John could literally see every thought in Sherlock's head suddenly stop.
"I have a confession to make" - Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all? John panicked, hoping now not to do the wrong thing. Briefly, he had the thought of wandering pointlessly around the room himself, as Sherlock had done earlier, but he restrained himself. He had to do this now! Damn it he had been in Afganistan, he's going to manage a declaration of love!
"You- you must have noticed it already, how could you not, with your mind"- don't beat around the bush, he admonished himself. Get to the point already!
"I think- Uh no, I know- Oh forget that. Sherlock! I've fallen in love with you!" - Dead silence. Now John had just blurted it out at the end, just blurted it out to the detective. And somehow John was more embarrassed than he had thought. He was suddenly ashamed of himself for what he had said and wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground.
"What?", Sherlock snapped the doctor out of his thoughts of escape and just looked at him indefinably. What was he thinking now? Was he acting surprised to spare John the embarrassment of knowing all along? Or was he making fun of him now? Did he find it flattering? Or was it more repulsive? What on earth was going on in that crazy brain?
"You heard me," John now said in a surprisingly firm voice. If Sherlock could act so aloof, so could he! He wouldn't embarrass himself in front of this man now and show unnecessary emotion. It was bad enough that he had voiced what he felt, he didn't need to show it to this idiot as well.
"What, why?" - Slowly, realization spread through Sherlock. The words got through to him and a light literally went on in his head.
"You!" the detective suddenly exclaimed, hastily pointing his finger at John.
"You!" he repeated, making a very confused impression. John didn't know what to say in reply, so he remained silent and waited to see what else would happen. Anyway, the situation had already gone quite differently than John had imagined. The detective had not responded with a knowing grin. Not with a casual hand gesture that showed him that none of this was anything new for Sherlock. No, he had reacted quite differently. And that scared John. He had already prepared himself so much mentally for a calm reaction that the actual one knocked his socks off.
"You! Are in love with me! In love!" he exclaimed loudly, throwing his head back, burying his hands in his hair and looking up at the ceiling. He laughed throatily.
"Oh my God!" - Okay, this was really starting to get to John. What the hell was going on here? Why was Sherlock acting like it was the end of the world? Had he really not realized it before?
"I can''t believe it! How did I not notice this?" - Now he was clearly talking to himself. Nothing special in itself, but John would really like to be part of this conversation, after all, this was about him too!
Sherlock, however, didn't seem to intend to involve John in his train of thought anytime soon. He preferred to walk around the room again, talking gibberish and looking more than confused.
"How did I miss that? What signs did I miss? Usually John lays out his feelings very openly, how did I not notice? Am I slacking off? Or was I really that wrapped up in myself?" - Sherlock continued to walk around the apartment, even acting as if he just had a difficult case to solve. Yet this was simply a matter of giving John a quick brush-off so he could finally bury his feelings in a box. It wasn't that hard, was it?
John was getting nervous. He didn't know how to handle this situation. Besides, he wanted an answer fast. He felt more and more uncomfortable, and the fact that Sherlock was ignoring him didn't make it any better. Should he approach him? Why was Sherlock getting so involved? Had he really not noticed?
"Damn it! For God's sake!", Sherlock was still cursing to himself as he thought hard, wondering what signs he had missed that proved John's love for Sherlock. What had he missed? What had his brilliant brain just blanked out? If he had noticed something, he hadn't erased it, he was sure of it. He only deleted unimportant things, and the fact that John was in love with him was anything but unimportant. So what the hell had he missed?!
"Sherlock?" - John received no reply. - "Sherlock?" - Again, no answer. Still the consulting detective addressed was pacing the room, trying to sort out his thoughts. Maybe he should go to his memory palace? There he was sure to find the answer he was looking for.
"Sherlock!" - Now, clearly, enough was enough! After a declaration of love, Sherlock couldn't just pretend he wasn't there anymore. He deserved a proper answer, especially if he didn't return his feelings.
"What?" retorted Sherlock almost as irritated as John. After all, he had just gotten lost on the way to his memory palace, and only because John had to yell at him like that. For this, however, the doctor had no sympathy at all. It was frightening enough that Sherlock was probably more bothered by the fact that he hadn't realized that John was in love with him than by the fact that he was. Such a thing, however, could really only be Holmes. He was still so arrogant and self-confident that everything that didn't have to do with him immediately faded into the background.
"Don't you think I deserve an answer?" - And John would get it, that was for sure. Sherlock, however, was probably not really aware of the current situation. Because all he said was a rushed "Yes, yes, me too" - John looked at the detective, stunned. That's it now? And what did he mean by 'me too'? Had his hearing played a trick on him? Laughing at himself, he realized that this situation was once again typical Sherlock. As bizarre and unknowable as ever.
"Sherlock!" was all John could utter. He was far too overwhelmed by the situation to say anything more. Normally, John would have grabbed the detective and shaken him up so he could talk to him and answer him. But he didn't dare make a move. And John was sure, he had never said his partner's name so many times in one day.
"Go away, I'm trying to get into my mind palace and I can't do that if you're distracting me like this" - Sherlock was completely calm again and had his index and middle fingers to his temples. A clear sign that he was about to become unresponsive.
"For fuck's sake! Stop this bullshit and talk to me! Do you think this whole thing would be over with a 'me too'?" - If he had meant it that way at all, it popped into the doctor's head right after that. And while he was still talking, it occurred to him that he was still sizing up the consulting detective. What kind of a queer situation was this? He had just confessed his feelings to him and yet they were still as distant from each other as before.
"Of course. You confessed your love to me, I confessed mine to you, and that's the end of it" - He couldn't really be serious now! Oh wait! That was Sherlock, of course he was serious!
"I'd like to go back to the point where you said 'me too' before we put this thing aside" - "What's not to understand about that? After all, it has been very obvious" - "What about this thing is obvious, please?" - Watson looked uncomprehendingly at his counterpart, who returned his gaze stiffly. Once again, he had that look on his face that he always had when something was, in his opinion, completely obvious. Often, though, the people around him didn't share that opinion, which the detective could never understand.
"Well my love to you. I have given you obvious hints that I have feelings for you. I put the body parts in the vegetable crisper especially because you always get upset that they would literally jump in your face when you opened the refrigerator. Also, I now only conduct my experiments in your absence. I refrain from playing the violin after eleven o'clock. And I made you tea two weeks ago" - Stunned, John looked at the detective. He simply had no words for his colleague's behavior. It was just so-
"Stupid!" - That was all John could really say. He knew Sherlock had little idea about interpersonal relationships, but this was below even his level.
"What do you mean, stupid? I thought you'd be happy about this!" - Sherlock was clearly annoyed by the negative comment on John's part. Yet he had really made an effort to behave himself the last few weeks. Was that not worth anything?
"You do know that you can't expect me to conclude from a single tea brought that you're in love with me, right?" - "Why not? After all, I didn't do that before. Changes in behavior and excessive care for a single individual are often signs of affection," Sherlock tried to justify himself, straightening his shirt collar. Had he perhaps done something wrong after all? .. Nah, he was Sherlock Holmes! He never did anything wrong!
"One tea, Sherlock! You made me one tea!" - Why in God's name were they arguing about tea here? What was wrong with them? They had just confessed their love for each other and they had nothing better to do than argue over a stupid tea!
"Forget about this stupid tea," John tried to somehow distract himself and Sherlock as well. There was no point in arguing over such trifles. The only result would probably be bullet holes in the wall if Sherlock's hand continued to twitch so menacingly.
"Just repeat what you said before you tried to escape from me into your mind palace. This time, however, please be less vague" - Now the moment of truth had probably come. Would Sherlock really repeat his words? By affection, did he really mean the kind of love John secretly wished for? He took a deep breath and waited for Sherlock to say something.
"I- love you" - Sherlock seemed at his words, clearly unsettled. After all, he hardly dared to look at John, and he could have sworn he saw a soft pink in the consulting detective's cheeks. After all, this was not how the usually proud and arrogant man was known. What made the whole scene even more bizarre was the fact that they were still talking. That should now really have an end.
"I love you too," John replied to his colleague's declaration of love and had deliberately taken a few steps toward him. He wanted to be closer to him. Physically as well as emotionally. That was the least he could do after they had confessed that they were in love with each other.
"Then everything is settled" - With this sentence, the detective started to move and dropped down on his armchair with the newspaper in his hand, which he had taken from the table before.
This can't be true! Again, John was at a loss for words. Sherlock was really bringing one thing after another. Surely that couldn't really be all there was to it? They had confessed to each other and now they would never speak of it again? Were they a couple now? Or was it all just a formal thing for Sherlock?
"That's it? We've said what we feel and that's the end of it?" - "Am I forgetting something?" - Sherlock really didn't seem to understand what he had done wrong. Hadn't his declaration of love been the important point of their conversation?
Holmes really was incorrigible when it came to relationships. How could John make him understand that there was more to it than just confessing his love? He simply had no choice. John had to give his colleague a practical example if he didn't understand the theory.
He continued to walk toward the detective, carefully leaning on the armrests of the chair where Sherlock was sitting. Somehow he tried to find some sign that would show him doing something against the younger man's will. But this was not so. Tensely those clear gray-blue eyes paused on the doctor's face as he slowly leaned further forward. The newspaper was fully forgotten and had long since come to rest in Sherlock's lap. John leaned forward a few millimeters more, his breath already brushing the pale skin of his counterpart, and finally placed his lips on Sherlock's. Delicately and reservedly at first. Sherlock should get used to the feeling of lips on his own. For John was sure, even if Sherlock had been kissed before, it had been ages ago.
Slowly, John increased the pressure of their lips, but continued to hold still. Only when Sherlock returned the gentle pressure did John dare to go further. He moved his lips and gently stroked his tongue over his kissing partner's lower lip. Sherlock was putty in his hands, as instantly he opened his mouth and more than welcomed the following and intimate kiss. It was incredible what a person could feel from just one kiss. Sherlock's stomach rumbled, his hands trembled and his pulse suddenly shot up. It was just an incredible experience for him to be able to kiss John. He was definitely talented, that was for sure.
They continued to kiss at a slow pace, not rushing anything and giving each other enough time to get used to it. They both had never kissed a man before and yet they never wanted to miss this feeling they gave each other through just one kiss. It was the highest feeling John had ever experienced.
But even this kiss ended once and John slowly pulled away. He looked into the veiled eyes of his counterpart and tried to read something in them. But all he could make out was pure chaos.
Nothing but chaos reigned in the mind of the super detective. He didn't know which feeling he should concentrate on more. On the fluttering in his stomach? The tingling on his lips? Or on the pain his heart was causing as it beat frantically against his ribs? He was confused and so immensely relieved at the same time.
"Is this happening a lot now?", John heard Sherlock's soft and rough question. Visibly, a hot shiver went down Watson's spine. The detective had a deep baritone voice, already by nature, but to hear him now after a kiss, the voice so rough and deeper than usual, made him tremble.
"We're in love. I think that's okay" - Without Sherlock being able to say anything else in response, John again locked his lips with his own and kissed him. Even the second time, their kiss had not lost its intensity. It tingled on Sherlock's skin and he was sure this was the best thing that could happen to him.
John shared the same opinion. He was happy to have confessed his feelings to Sherlock, even though he had expected a rejection. And even though it would take them some time to have a real relationship, it was a new experience for both of them, John was sure it would be the best relationship he ever had. And he also hoped, the last.
09.01.2014