It was a normal day on Berk. As normal as things got when trying to live with fire breathing lizards that still had to adapt to urban life, anyway.
Along one of its busy streets, one of its citizens looked tensely at his dragon. Said dragon didn't move. The citizen repeated his request: the two of them were to help with the long and laborious task of carrying fermenting fish to the hall for the winter. The dragon didn't react.
"What is going on with you? Ever since we've brought that last batch of dragons here, you haven't done one thing I say!" shouted Snotlout.
"He doesn't listen to you normally either," supplied Astrid.
"But normally, he sets himself on fire and throws me off a cliff when he disobeys me! Now, he just sits there and looks in some random direction like a scaly idiot." Hookfang looked at him for a moment, before giving a short snort and looking back in the same direction, once more with longing eyes.
The monstrous nightmare's rider shook his head and mumbled something about thick skulls that were also hollow as he followed his dragon's gaze, exasperated to find what had gone into the overgrown fire pit… "Oh."
What Hookfang was staring at was one of the dragons of the last batch they had brought in. A monstrous nightmare with a dark coppered hide, curious, alert eyes and a long tail that moved warily as the dragon walked. The reason for Hookfang's interest in said dragon was not difficult to guess.
"Well, what are you waiting for, go for it!" said Snotlout as he roughly shoved his dragon forwards towards the female.
His dragon, who had about thirty times his rider's weight, did not move considerably by the shoving, but did direct his attention to Snotlout, who was soon sent ten metres away by skidding him along the ground.
The monstrous nightmare then made a sound that the viking would never have expected. A sharp, long whine full of disapproval and fear. Snotlout understood. "Oh." For some incomprehensible reason, the one thing in the entire universe that the fiery pain was afraid of was… females.
"Astrid, don't count on my help carrying fermenting fish to the storage anytime soon. I know it's a long and laborious task, but something important came up," declared Snotlout. Astrid growled, but the viking had directed all of his attention elsewhere. He put his hand firmly on the monstrous nightmare's shoulder. "Flamy hot bastard, you have carried me thousands of times. It's time for me to be your wingman, and transfer all the grace and charm of the Snot onto you!"
Hookfang's face was normally a strong blood red. Upon seeing his rider's mischievous eyes, it turned slightly towards the pink.
It was now lunchtime, and the dragons were gathered around the arena to eat fish. Astrid had decided to use the time to sharpen her axe throwing skills and to clear the frustration of Snotlout not having done his job. Unfortunately for the viking, the boy in question was also in the arena, and was about to give his dragon a demonstration.
Snotlout approached her as she retrieved the weapon from the bullseye of the target. "You are holding your axe wrong," he stated.
Astrid turned her head to look up and down at him with amusement while giving an incredulous grin. "Oh, really?"
Snotlout nodded and grabbed the axe from her with confidence, immediately enticing a frown from the girl. He gave her and his dragon a solemn nod. "Observe."
"It's about the physical. The muscles, and the strength, which I do not lack in the least," said the boy as he swung the girl's axe freely, slashing and throwing it from one hand to the other. The axe's owner would have groaned in boredom if it weren't for the fear of her axe being ruined. Instead, she looked very tensely at the situation. "The first thing about being charming is showing just how great you are."
After a few more slashes through the air, Snotlout fixed his gaze with Astrid's, and without even looking, threw the axe towards what he believed was the bullseye. "See? It's not difficult. Not for the Snot," he said to the girl before giving a significant look to his dragon.
Hookfang, who was on the opposite side from the target, gave an indignant bark that seemed very much not pleased. Firstly, his rider's attempt to charm Astrid had now led to Astrid fuming at the boy for having risked damaging her axe. Secondly, said axe had almost hit his snout.
The monstrous nightmare flamed himself up and stalked towards his rider. "Instead of burning me, go try it. She is over there," said Snotlout as he pointed at the female, who had entered the arena to eat fish. This resulted in Hookfang stopping his fire and… attempting to hide behind his rider.
Snotlout sighed. "Do you want to be with her or not?" he asked. The monstrous nightmare gave a hesitant, yet still positive sound. The viking nodded. "Then do as I did."
Hookfang, after 'strong encouragement' from his rider, made his way towards the female, who was eating from the fish thrown on the ground for Berk's dragons. He barked in greeting as he looked at her. The dragon started to grin at the sight, and his imagination kicked in. After all, Hookfang knew himself. He was strong, prideful, and modestly, quite a splendour that could not be resisted. In his mind, he could see that lively, beautiful dragon below him, her scales rubbing against his, the helpless sounds that she would make…
Upon hearing the greeting, the female raised her head and looked at him. That was not something the dragon was mentally prepared for!
Through some kind of miraculous self-control, Hookfang snapped his gaze away from her hips and made his way beside her at the pile of fish, barely tripping over himself in the process. But that was all he could do. The monstrous nightmare started eating fish, desperately hoping that the blood red colour of his scales wouldn't give him away. (It didn't.) The female looked at him curiously, barked her own greeting and returned to her food, though she kept throwing wary glances around her.
"Show off!" shouted Snotlout, to whom he cast a murderous glare. "The relief of the muscles," said his rider, who was now just beside him. The monstrous nightmare desperately hoped that the female didn't understand the human's language.
While feeling anything but strong, Hookfang puffed up his chest and raised his head, rolling his folding wings in a small circle just as he would do after a good flight, an action that both helped loosen joints and show off the muscles that powered them. He looked at her with hope.
She gave an amused snort and proceeded to swallow a mackerel, not seeming impressed in the least, which left the male mortified.
Sensing his dragon's need for help, Snotlout climbed onto the pile of fish to the point where he was right in front of both of them. The boy gave Hookfang a disapproving shake of his head. "Hookie, act smoother than a gronckle in the morning. You can eat more than anyone else on this island, show that."
Though filled with a mild desire to take the rider and throw him, the dragon had to admit that his mind was quite empty at the moment. Okay. Eat. He could do that. Seeing a decently sized bass, the dragon pushed his jaws towards it and swallowed it whole under the female's gaze. And this time, she gave a nod. "Very good. Continue!" called Snotlout, which was partly annoying to the two dragons.
Almost to show herself, the female proceeded to swallow a saumon, one that was ever so slightly larger than the fish he had just consumed and gave a defiant look. For the male, this was an attack against his priede that he could not take. He swallowed two at once, and gave a proud bark to signal his superiority. "More!" urged his rider. "Show muscles!" The monstrous nightmare gave an angry bark at him, with the female looking in curiosity at the exchange.
The female then growled. With her snout, she pointed at a tuna and then at him.
Hookfang gulped, his throat somehow already in pain at the thought.
Snotlout displayed his bicep. "It's about the physical." What a useful tip.
The dragon tensed his muscles and broadened his shoulders, shouldering the female to the side in the process. He then proceeded to take the very big fish in his jaws and slide it down his throat.
Predictably, it got stuck, the dragon coughed, struggling for air and it took a proper whack on the back of the head by the female's tail to get him breathing again.
The female shook her head with an amused grin and took off, leaving the monstrous nightmare and his rider alone. Snotlout looked sad. "Oh, Hookie."
After escaping Hookfang's jaws for a few hours, the monstrous nightmare finally got tired, and Snotlout could teach him more. "Now that you have made an impression, let us talk about the second step about girls: use their weaknesses," he said matter-of-factly. He made his way to Astrid, who was carrying two heavy bags of fermenting fish towards the hall.
As the boy approached Astrid, he gave an academic look to his dragon. "Now, think of her. She is clearly frail and very scared of being on this new, large island, so you must show her how she can be safe around you."
Hookfang gave his rider a very perplexed look. The girl cast Snotlout an equally intense stare, though this one was more filled with wrath. She considered painting red eyes on her axe head for an added effect. "Excuse me?" asked Astrid.
"But thanks to me, she is now relaxed and happy. You need to achieve this with that female," stated Snotlout. In the meantime, mustering her remaining strength and warrior training, the girl managed to hold both heavy bags using a single hand, freeing up her other hand. This one went to her axe. Astrid's muscles tensed, and the weapon was pointed towards him.
"Fear not, darling, I am here to protect you," stated Snotlout souavely as he approached and wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders. Or rather, that was what he would have done if it weren't for her axe. Instead, he walked into it and yelped in pain when it hit his side. The yelp kicked in Astrid's fighting instincts, and within two seconds, Snotlout was on his back, immobilised by two bags of fermented fish and Astrid's boot.
"What was that?!" shouted the boy at the aggression.
Astrid pointed the axe towards him, right above his face. "I have carried this fermenting fish for five hours, and so should you. If you don't do your job right now, you're safer with a screaming death than with me. What will you choose?"
"I would love to help you darling, but important duties await," answered the boy. The girl responded with a growl, but eventually released him and continued on her tiring task. For her, there was no point in wasting her time with that kid.
Snotlout, after getting his breath back, once more faced his dragon. "Now, you do as I've shown you. Don't worry, I will be right beside you if anything goes wrong," he said with a warm smile.
The dragon was unsure about whether to take his rider's advice. One one hand, Snotlout had managed to build a reputation among all of Berk's human females. On the other hand, that reputation was not one of success. Deep down, the blood red dragon really wished to throw Snotlout into a wall. Or a pile of yak dung. But… if he was honest with himself, he was not capable of… existing with that female on his own. Reluctantly, Hookfang decided to not throw his rider against anything.
"Hook-traitor! What was that for?!" shouted Snotlout as the monstrous nightmare dangled the viking's helmet just out of his reach and grinned at his struggles. It was only when Hookfang got tired of seeing his rider's helpless jumps that he handed back the helmet, properly covered in slobber.
Hookfang looked at the female with longing eyes and an even more longing mind. Her, below him… she would hold him close, smile, and they'd both be panting for the intensity of the feeling… The male gave a wide smile as he saw her crossing through Berk's roads, curiously and warily taking in her new surroundings.
"Well? She is scared, go protect her!" urged his rider as he pushed the male forwards. Sensing the need to do something, Hookfang turned his gaze away from her wings, powered his muscles and leapt beside her with a hesitant bark. She responded with a happy roar, and then he was accompanying her through the streets of her new home.
The monstrous nightmare thought about how it was probably a good idea to warn the female about the traffic of Berk's busy streets. However, he was worried about how she would take it, because it would imply that she wasn't able to protect herself. On the other hand, this was a new environment for her, meaning that her feelings were not really unexpected. Hookfang thought about it long and hard, and came to the conclusion that it was better to be quiet.
The female yelped in surprise as a gronkle flew past them at a speed that would have likely had her whining in pain for a week. Feeling a bit out of place, Hookfang explained about the traffic with a low bark. She looked at him angrily and gave a low growl. Hookfang looked down.
"You should have protected her!" shouted Snotlout from just behind him. The monstrous nightmare cast his rider a sour glance. And now the female's pupils were even wider, because she wasn't feeling safe in the least. Great.
Luckily, his rider had an apparent solution. "That is a dragon massage station. Show her how to use it. She'll enjoy it," he called out as the two dragons approached the contraption. Hookfang agreed, letting her relax seemed like a pleasant idea. Pointing at it with his snout, he gave an inviting bark.
The dragon massage station was a recent addition on the island. It consisted of two horizontal spiked wooden logs through which a dragon passed through to loosen stiff joints. The female looked at it, had her eyes widening in fear and looked at him.
"Show her how it is safe," stated Snotlout. And so, with an encouraging hum, Hookfang displayed the machine, sliding into it and leaving on the other side. He rolled his neck, stretched his back and gave a pleased purr while looking at her.
The female gave a curious hum and pointed her nose to the machine. She temptingly tried to roll the logs and examined the metal spikes, before giving him a questioning croon.
"She still doesn't believe it to be safe, make her try it," urged his rider. Kindly, Hookfang once more showed how one was supposed to put one's head in that, relax and slide right through. And after the second demonstration, the female tried it herself.
Unfortunately, while Hookfang trusted the machine and went about it calmly, the female was tense. This led to it being harder for her to squeeze through the logs. And when she struggled to move in the scary contraption, she tensed more. "Push her in! She'll enjoy it!" shouted Snotlout to help his dragon. This led to the predictable outcome of more tense muscles, worried whines, nervous barking that rose in volume extremely quickly until it all went apart.
An ear shattering roar echoed through Berk's streets as the female lit herself on fire and trashed around in the dragon massage station, turning it to splinters. In a fraction of a second, the contraption was covered in a cloud of dust and black smoke from which the females' panicked whines emerged. Hookfang gave his own panicked bark and tried to make his way into the cloud, feeling for where the female was and how to free her. But would he make it in time?
A few seconds later the smoke cleared and the dark coppered dragon was on a pile of ashes. She rolled her neck, stretched her back and gave a pleased purr while looking at him. A small spark of fire flashed on her hide.
Hookfang had never seen anything quite that beautiful.
"Well? It worked didn't it?" stated Snotlout. The monstrous nightmare looked at his rider and was very near to lighting himself on fire. Or lighting the viking on fire. Both sounded good.
"And now, the last step. Being romantic," said Snotlout with a big grin. Astrid was nearby, pulling a heavy cart of fermenting fish towards the great hall. The viking approached her. "Hello, my dear Astrid. Would you like-"
"No," said Astrid while giving him a murderous stare.
Snotlout sighed. "I guess we will have to skip the demonstration," he said while looking at his dragon. Strangely, Hookfang almost seemed relieved. "Don't worry though. I'll be right by your side," he added. Hookfang did not seem relieved after that.
The sun was setting, the wind was blowing and the harbour was winding down on the beautiful island of Berk. Just overlooking the harbour was a small cliff leading up to a grassy field, towards which a large dragon was flying with eager strokes. The reason for the eagerness was a second large dragon with a dark coppered hide that was waiting for him on the field.
Hookfang barked to signal his presence and flared to land, before offering his gift: a whole boar that he had caught himself. He pointed at the forest in which he had hunted it with his snout.
With a wide smile, the female started rejoicing in his gift. However, not before offering her own. The female gave Hookfang the body of a sheep, while pointing at a neighbouring pasture with her snout.
"She's into you," teased Snotlout from the monstrous nightmare's neck. "Though you are not supposed to take that!" The blood red dragon rolled his eyes, while the female gave a mildly disappointed croon at the rider's presence.
However, it was evening and they were hungry, so despite nonsensical rumbles about 'domestic animals' by the viking, the two dragons dove into each other's gifts. And with their bellies filling, they became ever happier.
Hookfang, being a fast eater, finished first and took a moment to admire the dragon beside him. Such fine spikes, curves and warm eyes, strong jaws. In his imagination, Hookfang could see that female and him, side by side, licking each other's heads and…
"Hookster, I know your skull is empty, but you need to make a move. Personally, I would have done it long ago, but better late than never," stated Snotlout as he encouraged his dragon. The blood red dragon took his gaze away from the female's smile and faced his rider with an insecure croon. Snotlout gave an academic nod. "Put your wing on her, and then a lick," he urged.
Hesitantly, the blood red dragon extended a wing to cover her back. The female looked at him in curiosity. Even more hesitantly, he extended his tongue out of his jaws and approached his face to the female's forehead. She looked at him with worry.
The blood red dragon couldn't do it. With a whine, he removed his wing, and took his tongue back to himself, facing away.
"You're going to be alone forever if you don't show some confidence," stated Snotlout. The viking displayed his bicep. "Remember. It's about the physical." Hookfang gave a frustrated bark at the useless tip and stepped away from the two. He turned back and faced his rider with a growl. This was not what was supposed to happen!
"Oh, look at you being all important and stuff," mocked Snotlout, and Hookfang growled. The female was looking at the situation with a worried hum, and starting to back off. Hookfang was almost not thinking about that, instead focusing on his rider with displeasement.
Snotlout sighed and faced his dragon once more for a second of honest words. "Listen, do you want to keep acting like you, or actually learn the true charm of the Snot?"
Hookfang thought about it. About himself. About the female. And above all, about how well 'the Snot' did when it comes to charming.
"What are you doing?!" shouted Snotlout as he was lifted by his collar and dangled above the cliff by Hookfang. The red dragon released his jaws, but the quick viking had in an instant gotten a grip on his snout and turned around. Snotlout was now looking straight in the blood red dragon's eyes. "In case you wonder, I won't let go!"
Hookfang smiled, and lit his body on fire, the flame starting on his backside and moving forwards. Snotlout eyes widened.
Hookfang looked down the cliff, and decided that it would be an acceptable landing. With a snap of his neck, his rider was in the air and no longer disturbing them. He gave an apologetic croon at the female, hoping it wasn't too late.
The female was looking at him with eyes wide in marvel. She gave a warm bark, complimenting him for his manners and his persuasiveness with his rider. Hookfang flashed a flame around his body and gave a proud grin. It had been a good decision. This was who he was. He gave a low rumble, and she responded to it. Then she gave a teasing grin and bent her paws. Hookfang noted how the female was about to jump a second too late.
She leapt at him while laughing, pushing him onto her back. Not one to shy away, he suddenly grabbed her flanks and tried to push her onto her own, but she managed to escape. Soon enough, they were nothing less and nothing more than two young dragons chasing each other, on a grassy field, at sunset.
Before any of that would happen, however, Snotlout was busy cursing the Hook-traitor for the entirety of the fall down the cliff. This equated to slightly over one second, as the cliff was about five metres tall. The viking fell, head first into a barrel of fermenting fish.
"Why is there fermented fish here?!" shouted the viking as he emerged from it, his nose flinching at the smell.
"Very good question, my dear Snotlout," said a voice that sent shivers up his spine. With slow, heavy steps, Astrid approached the barrel, two hands holding a steady grip of her axe. "So how about you move it to the great hall, where it is supposed to be?"
Snotlout looked at Astrid, at the barrel, and at the axe. He sighed. "Fine," he answered in the end. It wasn't easy to be an all-caring hero, but that was just who he was.
"Well? Well? Well?" asked Snotlout as he reached the table where the other dragon riders were eating. To celebrate the first melting of the winter snow and the rare ray of sunlight, the gang was eating outside on the pier of Berk's harbour.
"You succeeded in making Hookfang charm a female," admitted Astrid. Admitting Snotlout's success was painful, but the sun and overall great day considerably improved her mood. Also, there was really no denying it. The two dragons had an egg.
"Did you do it?" he asked Astrid. "Did you do it?" he asked Hiccup. "I'm not even going to ask in your case," he said to Fishlegs. From behind them, Hookfang was looking at his rider with an increasingly annoyed gaze. Snotlout grinned. "No, it was me. I taught Hookfang how to be the Snot, and Hookfang achieved love thanks to my help. Because, as you now have to admit, I possess not only impressive strength and looks, but also an incredible amount of chaaaaaaah!"
Snotlout kept screaming, but could not escape his fate as the monstrous nightmare picked him up and threw him off the pier into the newly liquified sea. The dragon had decided that it was safe, as considering that it wasn't ice, the sea couldn't be that cold. Worst case scenario, he would have to brood him like his egg. Which he was used to anyway.
"Thanks, Hookie," said Astrid with a smile. She gave a kind scratch under the blood red dragon's chin. "Never stop being you."
For me, this story was very fun to write. I hope that for you, it was very fun to read.