Commander Charles Tucker III,
This communique is in response to a problematic trend observed during your participation in diplomatic scenarios. Specifically, in regard to your interactions during these instances as recorded not only by your own logs, but also by the alien actors present during these instances, such as the pilot Zho'Kaan of the Arkonian Hegemony, and most recently, Queen D'inkle Pinkus of the Nubulian Sovereignty.
The Federation, and Starfleet in particular, represents peaceful outreach and sound-minded reasoning, and expects its officers to conduct themselves with patience and decorum even in the most trying circumstances. Especially if said circumstances involve first-encounter scenarios in which the Starfleet personnel will serve as the example of what Humanity stands for.
Please stop teaching alien races the phrase 'Dammit' during first-contact situations.
Commodore Eileen Braggman, Office of Public Relations, Starfleet Command.
OOO
Commodore Eileen Braggman,
It ain't my fault every first-contact situation I've been in was nothing short of pants-on-head ridiculous. All things considered, I believe my behavior was exemplary.
If you wanna talk about a lack of decorum, how about we talk about a captain who forces his crew to sit through what basically boiled down to a two-hour slide-show of black-and-white still-frames of guys in speedos?
Commander Charles Tucker III, Chief Engineer, Starship Enterprise.
OOO
Commander Charles Tucker III,
That kind of response is exactly what prompted this reprimand, Commander. No matter how 'pants-on-head ridiculous' a situation may be, all Starfleet officers are expected to conduct themselves in proper manner.
This includes, but is not limited to:
Not teaching alien races the phrase 'Dammit' during first-contact situations.
Not faking allergic trauma to escape state dinners.
Not offering to give foreign dignitaries erotic neuro-pressure massages.
If such behavior does not desist, disciplinary action will be taken. Including but not limited to:
Temporary reduction of pay.
Temporary reassignment.
Possible reduction of rank.
Prohibiting your participation in any future diplomatic missions assigned to Enterprise.
Commodore Eileen Braggman, Office of Public Relations, Starfleet Command.
OOO
Commodore Eileen Braggman,
Look, how about we just forget this whole thing.
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Commander Charles Tucker III, Chief Engineer, Starship Enterprise.
OOO
Commander Charles Tucker III,
The previously stated problematic behavior also includes, but is not limited to:
Attempting to bribe a senior officer with free water-polo tickets.
These transmissions have been logged and forwarded to the Office of Conduct for further review.
Commodore Eileen Braggman, Office of Public Relations, Starfleet Command.
OOO
Commodore Eileen Braggman,
Dammit.
Commander Charles Tucker III, Chief Engineer, Starship Enterprise.