Harley returned to her office, trying to decide what to do next. She had never dealt with a case this far gone, and something about Joseph Kerr's firm conviction in the truth of what he was saying disturbed her. That and her own bizarre behavior around him – there was clearly some subconscious attraction there, which worried her. She needed someone more experienced to advise her on this case. So she picked up the phone and dialed Dr. Crane's office.
He didn't answer immediately, and when he did, it was with a tired and listless, "Hello?"
"Dr. Crane? It's Harley," said Harley.
"Harley, I've been meaning to call you," he said. "I wanted to talk to you about the interpretations of those symbols in our dreams. It's quite the coincidence us both dreaming of similar symbols, particularly ones so full of meaning."
"Yes," agreed Harley, thinking about the even stranger coincidence of Mr. Kerr also seeing a clown in the funhouse mirror. "I was wondering if I could consult with you about a new patient we have here, Mr. Joseph Kerr. He's…an interesting case, which is hard to explain over the phone. Are you free to come over to Arkham now?"
"Now?" he repeated. "Well...yes, I'm not particularly busy. I'll bring my dream research along."
"Great. I'll see you soon," said Harley, hanging up.
She tried to concentrate on her administrative work, but the tech team still hadn't fixed her computer, and sitting at her desk filling out routine forms seemed so pointless somehow in comparison to her new patient. At last, after what seemed like ages, there was a knock on her door.
"Dr. Quinzel, Dr. Crane is here to see you," said her receptionist, popping her head in.
"Please send him," said Harley, standing up. "And please ask the guards to bring Mr. Kerr to my office. I want Dr. Crane to offer his professional opinion on him."
The receptionist nodded, and ushered Crane inside. Harley was once again struck by how haggard and pale he looked, but forced a smile. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, Dr. Crane," she said, embracing him.
"Jonathan, please," he corrected, smiling at her. "I'm honored to help."
"I know you must be very busy, so I appreciate you taking the time," she said. "I've asked the guards to bring Mr. Kerr – I think it's better you asses him in person, rather than relying on my report. But he's suffering from the most intense delusion I've ever seen – he thinks we're living in a simulation, and he's trying to wake up to reality. He shot several people yesterday because he claims they weren't real. His wife says he's never been violent like this before, but she recently became pregnant, which is what I think triggered his delusions. But he says it's because…of a clown. Don't you think that's a little coincidental?"
"I do," agreed Crane, nodding. "And a good psychiatrist believes there are no coincidences."
Joseph Kerr was led into the office, and he looked from Harley to Crane. "You're real too," he said, pointing at Crane. "That's good – the more real people together, the better."
"Why? Because you think all the real people have to wake up together?" asked Harley.
"I don't know," he replied. "But it's as good a theory as any."
"I'm Dr. Crane, Mr. Kerr, I was Dr. Quinzel's mentor at the university," said Crane. "She's called me in for a second opinion on your case."
"Because she doesn't believe I'm telling the truth," finished Joseph, nodding. "I can't blame her. It's a hard truth to swallow."
"She told me you saw some sort of clown?" asked Crane. "I've been doing some research on clown figures in dream-states, and the clown symbol is a powerful one. It usually indicates that somebody you know may not be who they appear to be. Or somebody may be pretending to be somebody they're not, and are hiding under a façade. Does that seem probable in your case?"
"Yeah," agreed Joseph, nodding. "The somebody is me. I'm not who I appear to be, not really. The clown is though."
"These kinds of symbols aren't meant to be taken literally," continued Crane. "You're not literally a clown."
"Yes, I am," retorted Joseph, firmly. "I'm the Joker. That's who I am in reality."
Crane shared a look with Harley. "The clown also symbolizes your uninhibited nature," he continued. "Particularly when those inhibitions result in thoughtless or insincere actions, like shooting a room full of people."
"Imaginary people," retorted Joseph.
"I'm inclined to agree with Harley's theory that your wife's pregnancy sparked this episode," said Crane. "That would explain yielding to your uninhibited nature – the adoption of fatherhood is an enormous responsibility, and your inhibitions rebelled against that. They went wild, like a clown, hence the symbol. The clown means harm – it means harm to you, and to the people around you, hence the shooting. Because you're right, you're not who you appear to be. You think of yourself as a normal, stable man, but there's something deeply wrong with you, as symbolized by the clown. He's a reflection of your darker nature, your violent and reckless whims which you've had to suppress all your life, and which you couldn't bear to suppress anymore with a baby on the way. The burden of that incredible responsibility made your façade of respectability snap, and unleashed the monster within."
"The clown's not a symbol," retorted Joseph. "He's real. He's the real me. I mean, all that stuff you're saying might be true – I dunno. I'm not…educated like you are about hidden meanings and things like that. But whether he's my darker nature or not, he's who I am."
"I think not," said Crane. "I think he's a symbol of what's truly wrong with you, in your suppressed subconscious. We need to dig deep to find out what he represents, and once we've found it, the clown will go away. He's clearly unlocked some kind of murderous urge, but do you have any other urges? Particularly of a violent or sexual nature?"
Joseph glanced at Harley. "Yes," he said. "Doesn't everyone?"
"Yes, but not all these urges are healthy," said Crane. "People sublimate their violent urges all the time. And their sexual urges, if such things are forbidden to them. We need to find the root cause of your urges, and teach you how to sublimate them in a healthy, non-threatening way. It is possible, but it's hard work. And I think rather than confront that, you've lost yourself in this fantasy delusion about us being in a simulation."
"No, this is the delusion," said Joseph, firmly. "This is the comforting fantasy, this simulation. It was created so that our lives would be as easy and pleasant as possible. Someplace where we'd just be blithely happy, and wouldn't question it. But we're not the kind of people who can just be blithely happy. And I think we all know something feels wrong about all this. Don't we?"
"What did the scarecrow symbolize, Dr. Crane?" asked Harley, quietly.
"Seeing a scarecrow in your dreams indicates depression," said Crane. "You're going through some crisis in your life."
"But I'm not," said Harley, puzzled. "Are you?"
Crane looked at her. "Perhaps," he said.
"But what do you have to be depressed about?" asked Harley. "And what do I have to be depressed about, for that matter? We both have successful careers, at the top of our fields."
"Perhaps that's…not enough," said Crane, slowly. "People need more than good careers – they need meaning. Perhaps through…relationships with other people."
"I told you, I'm not depressed about Ricky," said Harley. "I think I wanted him to dump me – I think I subconsciously spent so much time at work so he would do just that. And my career does give me meaning – I help people get better. What higher meaning could there be than that?"
"I don't know, my dear," said Crane. "I just know that a recurring dream means something, and we need to figure out what. When we figure out what they symbolize, these weird figures will go away."
"I don't think so," murmured Joseph. "They never go away. I think they're who we are."
"And I think you're not a psychiatrist!" snapped Crane, rounding on him. "So kindly leave analyzing your mental state to the experts! Let me guess – you and your wife have been trying for a baby for some time?"
"Yes," agreed Joseph, nodding.
"And now that she's pregnant, now that you've finally achieved your ambition, you're scared rather than happy," said Crane. "Parenthood is a terrifying responsibility. When the baby was hypothetical, you didn't have to seriously consider that, but now that it's suddenly real, you do. And you want to run away from it. That's why you listen to the clown. He represents freedom, your freedom to go wild and do anything you want, to pursue your own selfish pleasures, because being a responsible father means the end of your carefree life. But you don't have to listen to the clown, Mr. Kerr. You can shut him out. You can even kill him."
"You can't kill the Joker," murmured Joseph. "Everyone has tried, but no one has succeeded. Just like you can't kill the…"
He trailed off. "The what?" prompted Harley.
"Something else," murmured Joseph, shutting his eyes. "Something else. Something that means a lot to the Joker. A hero, but not a hero. Someone light, yet dark. Someone in a cape, and a mask. I don't know…I can't see…or hear it…"
He clenched his fists against his forehead. "Why can't I see him?" he whispered. "How could I have forgotten him, of all people?"
He roared suddenly, lashing out at a side table and smashing it. He picked up a chair and threw it across the room. "How could I have forgotten him?!" he shouted.
Harley called the guards, and they dragged Joseph off, still shouting about some man he'd forgotten. "I wonder if there mightn't be some latent homosexual tendencies there," commented Crane. "To have such a strong emotional reaction to a man, I mean."
"No, I don't…think so," stammered Harley.
"Why not?" asked Crane. "If he's repressed his sexuality that deeply, it could explain the lashing out. And the anger at being stuck with a woman now that she's pregnant. Maybe he isn't actually attracted to women."
Harley knew she couldn't tell Dr. Crane about the kiss, which was definitely not the kiss of a man not attracted to women, so she said nothing. "I still think the pregnancy making him snap is the most likely hypothesis," she said. "And it made a lot of sense what you said about not wanting to take responsibility, and the clown being the carefree symbol he's tempted to follow."
"Yes, it's a good starting place, but he's going to need a lot of work," said Crane. "I hope you're up to it, Harley."
"I hope so too," murmured Harley.