Everything in her entire body hurt. But Hailey would never admit it.
Her head the most, followed by her back and left leg where a piece of plywood with a nail had been driven into it. Her wrists and ankles were bruised and sore, though they'd likely heal the fastest. Muscles in her torso she didn't even know she had ached — but none of that mattered anymore the second she heard the sound of a key turning in her front door.
Jordan had used the key she kept in the front pocket of her backpack to unlock the door and lead them inside, Jay carrying the box of pizza behind her. Hailey emerged to meet them in the entryway, the forced, close-lipped smile she'd preparedly plastered to her face melting into a real one at the actual sight of them.
"Hey," she greeted softly, inhaling a silent deep breath. Her eyes met Jay's first, then Jordan's.
Jordan, who couldn't help but stop short of approaching her any further initially at the sight of her mother's face. Bruised. Bloodied. Bandaged. It looked like it hurt like hell. It looked like someone had beaten the shit out of her. And to a nine year old with a fairly narrow view of the world, it looked like she'd maybe almost could've died. It made Jordan's breath catch in her throat.
"Hi, baby," Hailey tried, easily hiding the pain the look on her daughter's face caused her.
"Hi," Jordan managed, as Hailey opened her arms to her. She stepped forward with a bit of hesitance and carefully wrapped her own around the older blonde's waist, relaxing as her mother reciprocated the gesture.
Hailey ducked her head, pressing a kiss into Jordan's hair and letting her lips linger there a few seconds longer than she normally would. Days like today were one of those repeated wakeup calls. While there was always a chance she wouldn't make it home after a day at work, some cases and events made that reality seem much more possible than others. Days like today also reminded her that when it came to Jordan, she was still procrastinating on getting some of her shit back together post-Garrett. She really couldn't afford to do that any longer.
After few moments, while remaining where she was, Jordan looked up. Her chin was propped up against Hailey's chest as she analyzed her face. The bruises weren't just bruises — they were also cuts and scratches. Bits of dried blood. Signs of what she imagined were a struggle knowing her mom. Hailey wasn't a person who went down speechless or without a fight.
Jordan played Jay's words back in her mind: it looks worse than it is. Then, she thought: doubtful.
"Does it hurt?" She wondered aloud, breaking the silence between them.
"I'm okay," Hailey assured her. Another close-lipped smile, this time definitely forced.
"That wasn't an answer to my question."
Hailey inhaled sharply, raising her eyebrows as she smoothed a hand over the back of Jordan's head. It was both a blessing and a curse that her daughter was such a mini carbon copy of herself at times. Before answering, Hailey's eyes couldn't help but flicker over towards the kitchen where Jay had deposited the pizza box down onto the center island. "A little," she admitted. Jay's eyes flickered right back.
Jordan let go of Hailey and lifted a hand to brush a finger across a portion of her lip that wasn't split. Her eyebrows pulled together in the center of her forehead as she leaned up on her toes and puckered her own in a silent request. Hailey met her halfway, allowing Jordan to press a kiss to her cheek.
"How'd your math test go today?" Hailey prompted then, eager to change the subject of conversation and no longer be the center of attention. But Jordan was just as eager to not talk about that.
"Jay, are you going to eat pizza with us?" She asked, separating from Hailey and making her way into the kitchen. Hailey followed with a half-amused quick roll of her eyes. She'd bring it up again later.
"Nah," Jay replied, stepping away from the island. "You two enjoy."
"Oh," Jordan deflated.
Jay looked from her to Hailey, uncertain. He didn't want to overstay his welcome, and despite pizza being his idea, he hadn't exactly been invited…
"Stay for a slice," Hailey suggested, as if she'd read his mind. Looking to her daughter, she added, "Think you can get us some plates without breaking 'em?"
"Uh huh!"
Once Jordan was out of earshot, Hailey faced Jay. "Thank you again," she said, sincere. Green eyes met blue and for a split second they both got lost there, until Jay shrugged awkward-casually and opened the box of pizza.
"Anytime."
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As the three of them sat around the dining room table that Hailey and Jordan rarely ever used on their own, one slice of pizza easily turned into two. Similarly, Jay couldn't even remember the last time he'd sat down at an actual table anywhere other than at a restaurant to eat, let alone while surrounded by anyone else.
"You not gonna eat those?" Jay asked, pointing a finger at the pieces of crust Jordan had left on her plate.
"I don't like crust," she said.
"Whaaat? The crust is the best part," he countered. "You got a strange kid," he told Hailey, jokingly of course. She laughed as Jay reached for Jordan's crust and took a bite.
"Where were you today?" Jordan asked him after a beat.
"What do you mean?" Jay questioned.
"When my mom got hurt. Where were you?"
"J, don't." Hailey warned, earning a look from both her partner and her daughter. Belatedly, she realized her mistake.
J. Jay.
"That one." Hailey said to Jay, tilting her head towards Jordan.
"Cool nickname," Jay offered, a feeble attempt to divert the direction in which the conversation had been going. He couldn't necessarily blame Jordan, though. Considering that she was only nine and not a cop, it was a valid question. And it would've been a lie to say he hadn't already asked himself the same question at least once despite that what'd happened, in reality, hadn't been his fault at all. When his initial statement hadn't earned a response, he tried something else. "Anyone ever call you JoJo?"
Like a deer in the headlights, Jordan's eyes widened to the size of saucers, meeting Jay's. There was a mixture of fire and hurt behind them that Hailey clocked as well. Her voice was gentle as she spoke, "It's okay, he didn't—"
"Don't ever call me that!" The second the words left her lips Jordan stood from the table and made a beeline for her bedroom, leaving Jay confused as hell. Hailey flinched as Jordan shut her door with a forceful slam.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened… I—"
"It's not you." Hailey shook her head, staring down at her plate.
Jay studied her expression, trying and failing to get a read on her. Despite the fact that she was his partner, there were so many bits and pieces of Hailey that still felt like a complete mystery to him. He wanted to know more; he wanted to know all of her. But how much she let him in wasn't up to him to decide. After all, partners were all they were…
"Go," he said eventually, nodding towards the direction Jordan had disappeared in. "I'll clean this up."
Hailey shook her head again, but stood from her chair. "Don't clean this up. Just… give me five?" Jay nodded as she turned her back and descended down the hall.
When she reached Jordan's closed bedroom door, Hailey rapped her knuckles against it twice. "Can I come in?" One, two, three seconds of silence. "I'm taking that non-objection as a yes."
Hailey opened the door to find Jordan sitting in the middle of the floor, clutching her knees to her chest. Closing the distance between them, she took a seat down in front of her. "We don't slam doors. You know that."
Jordan looked at her, her eyes glassing over with tears as she nodded regretfully. As she blinked, one of them fell. Hailey swiped it away with her finger. "Talk to me."
More silence.
"He doesn't know, babe…" Hailey tried again.
Jordan sniffled and averted her gaze. "The last time you looked like this… Your face like this—"
"I know." Hailey didn't want or need her to go on. New Years; she remembered. She hated that Jordan had been just barely old enough to remember, and therefore would always have a memory of it too. Swallowing thickly, she acknowledged what she knew Jordan had been getting at, "That was a bad day."
"A really bad day," Jordan insisted. Hailey nodded in agreement. "And after…"
"This is nothing like that." Hailey told her little girl.
"You swear?" Jordan asked, still not looking up.
"I swear," Hailey promised, searching for Jordan's eyes. "It's okay to feel scared and sad sometimes, and it's okay to cry. But we still have to be kind to other people, even when they say something that upsets us."
Jordan let out a small huff of a sigh as she absorbed all of this, a few more tears falling as she lifted her eyes to meet her mother's. "I miss him sometimes still," she admitted.
"Me too," Hailey smiled sadly, in agreement with her once again. "How about you change into some pjs and once Jay leaves, we'll put on a movie and watch as much as we can before we fall asleep on the couch?"
Jordan cracked a tiny smile at this idea. "Kay."
Hailey matched her smile, then pressed a long kiss to Jordan's forehead before standing, leaving her to do just that.
––––––
"I told you not to clean up," Hailey said when she emerged from the hallway, grateful despite her motherly tone of voice.
Jay was just finishing up washing the last of their plates by hand and had already located the ziplock bags, packed up the remaining pizza, and put it in the fridge. He shrugged in response to her words, turning around to face her as he set the last dish in the drying rack. "She okay?"
Hailey nodded, then said, "I'm sorry…"
"For what?" Jay was honestly perplexed.
Hailey heaved a sigh, running an anxious hand through her slightly-disheveled, wavy, blonde hair. "Garrett," she started, pausing to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "Garrett used to call her JoJo."
"Oh." Even now that he had an answer for what he'd done wrong, Jay wasn't completely sure what to say. He knew that Hailey had loved Garrett, but the thought that he'd been a part of Jordan's life too embarrassingly hadn't even crossed his mind until now. He could only imagine what that must have been like for her. "How much does she know? About what happened?" There was a hint of hesitance in his voice.
Hailey found herself shaking her head again; it was such a loaded question. So she opted for the simplest answer that still didn't give him very much. "That he was here in her life one day and gone the next." No answers, no closure, just gone. Gone, kind of like the man who was biologically the other half of Jordan, a man Jordan would never know. Only Garrett was dead.
"I'm so sorry, Hailey." It was all Jay could say, the apology instantly reaching his eyes.
Hailey looked off, quickly swiping a hand underneath her own eyes. "I told her we'd watch a movie…"
"Right," Jay said, moving to grab his coat and put it on while wandering in the direction of the entryway. "See you tomorrow."
"Yeah."
Jay turned to go then, but stopped as he reached the front door. "Hailey," he said, turning back around. The blonde looked at him expectantly. He could tell from her expression she was desperately trying to hold in her emotions. Despite that, he spoke what had been on his mind since he'd picked Jordan up from school. "You made me her emergency contact?" The way he spoke made the question sound more like a statement, though there was still a slight inflection in his voice.
Hailey easily decoded both the surprise and flattery in his tone. This time, she shrugged. "I trust you with her," she disclosed, general trust a feeling she'd felt almost immediately upon working with him as her partner. "More than anyone else in this world."