"JJ?" Emily tried to call for the seemingly distant blonde. JJ blinked a couple of times, getting out of her own trance and putting all her focus back on Emily.
"I don't know," she finally responded. "I do want you back here, but I've been trying to process everything for the past seven months. I'm not sure if I'm ready to dive right back in."
"I get that." Emily sadly nodded and glanced down at her feet. She began picking her fingernails, reminding JJ of her habit. That's one thing that has never changed before she left. "How's Henry doing? Is he alright?"
JJ's body went stiff for a second. "He's doing ok," she mumbled, looking through her lashes as she ducked her head down.
With a sympathetic frown, Emily nodded again. She didn't know what else to say about Henry. She knew how much he meant to JJ. He's the light of JJ's life, her bundle of joy. Did she deserve the right to know how her absence had affected Henry? Seeing how JJ reacted when she asked about him, she knew she had done the wrong thing.
Emily shut her eyes, taking a deep breath and holding her palms out. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."
JJ shook her head, cutting her off. "No, uh, I don't- He's doing alright, really. I'm sorry, Emily. I'm trying to wrap my head around this for a second." Once she saw Emily frown again, she nodded in assurance. "He's ok."
Emily lifted her head and folded her hands together, pointing both thumbs outwards. "Um, when- if you do want to talk, just let me know," she compromised before turning around to leave JJ's old office.
Watching her exit, JJ stood there, speechless. Swallowing her nerves, she took a moment to gather herself before leaving a minute later.
Things at work had expectedly been a lot more different since Emily's return. JJ was paired up with the other members of the team, which gave her and Emily less time to talk on the field. Emily decided not to interact with JJ outside of work, seeing as how closed-off the other woman had become. The only times they did interact was during work hours, and the only smiles she received from JJ were the ones she often gave at press conferences. Polite and guarded.
Hotch decided to keep Emily and JJ separate from each other for some time, so that they both won't lose focus on the field. JJ was understandably mad at Hotch also, and he trusted Derek to stay by JJ's side to keep an eye on her when they were out. Emily did have a chance to ask Derek how the other woman was feeling, who only said he didn't want to be the middleman. She was close to giving up at this point. JJ needed her space, and Emily was going to do her best to respect it.
"Hey, Garcia, do you have a minute?" JJ had her head poked into Penelope's office. Penelope swiveled her chair around to motion for her to come inside. JJ closed the door behind her after entering, and sat down in one of her chairs.
"What's up?"
JJ exhaled out a breath and ran a hand through her hair, shrugging. Penelope placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it in assurance. "This is a safe space, Jayje, it's ok."
JJ cracked a small smile, thankful for her friend's understanding. "You promise you won't tell anyone outside of these four walls?"
When JJ was being serious, Penelope knew not to mess with her word. She nodded, "Your secret's safe with me. Now, talk to me. What's going on?"
JJ gazed down at her lap, pulling at the invisible thread on her pants. "Look, I know I should get over it by now, but I can't. I can't stop thinking about it. Every night when she was gone, when I thought she was dead, I kept wishing she would come back home and tell me everything's going to be alright. Now, every time I see her, it's like my mind's playing tricks on me. It doesn't make sense, I know."
Softly shaking her head, Penelope clicked her tongue. "It makes a lot of sense. Did you try talking to Emily about it?"
JJ scoffed to herself. "When she came back. And she said she was going to give me time to think about it. I hate doing this to her, Pen. Am I even doing the right thing? Should I have given her another chance?"
Seeing her fret even more, Penelope quickly did her best to calm JJ's nerves down. "Ok, ok, just breathe." JJ had a second to inhale before exhaling, shaking it off with her hands. "I can't tell you what you should do, but I also don't want you to keep blaming yourself for what happened."
"But what about Emily? There's so much I want to say to her, and I just keep pushing her away. I don't know what to do."
"Hey, hey," Penelope held her shoulders in place, making JJ focus on her again. She grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "I think it might be best if you two talk to each other about all this. I'm sorry, JJ. I love you two so much, but I can't be sure what's going to happen. It's better if you guys talk."
Taking her words in, JJ slumped her shoulders in doubt, but nodded anyway. "Thank you for listening, Garcia. I'll try and talk to her the next time I see her."
JJ stared at her phone on the table, like she was afraid it might come to life. With just an ounce of hesitance, she picked it up and started searching for Emily's name in her contact list. She hovered her thumb over her name, before finally caving in and calling her. Fiddling with her fingers on one hand, JJ anxiously tapped her foot, waiting for Emily's phone to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Emily?"
"JJ, hey," Emily greeted. JJ could tell she was confused and just as nervous as she was. "Um, what's wrong? New case?"
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, JJ responded. "Nothing's wrong, and Hotch or Garcia didn't say anything. I just wanted to ask if you're free to meet this afternoon down at the coffee shop near work. I think I'm ready to talk with you."
After five quiet seconds on the line, Emily finally spoke. "Yeah, sure. This afternoon's good."
JJ sighed in relief. "Great. I'll see you then."