"I panicked." A frown slips over my face as I nervously cast eyes away from my doctor. Specifically, my psychiatrist which I've been visiting on and off for the last five years. Visits spread fairly thin these days, something only put on the books when I've requested it. Which I have.

"I don't know why I did it." I look up in desperate hopes that perhaps he'll know. Though of course, it's never how that works – is it? I'll sit here and know with absolute certainty that he knows – of course, he knows! –but he'll never just make it easy on me. Arriving at the answer on my own, a roll of my eyes. I know that he knows.

"What you did sounds like great progress." He offers a little smile.

Yes, I know it is. Merely kissing another man felt like the equivalency of climbing one of those monstrously large mountains which I hear them speak of; and merely kissing is hardly what my brain has managed to comprehend that we did the other day, Levi and I. I mean, yes – technically it was just kissing. But it felt like so very much more.

"I think I've pushed him away." I nervously bite down on my lower lip.

"Why would you think that?" He continues to stare with that calm smile. I know it's meant to sooth me into sharing and I like this man, I do – but sometimes it drives me… ugh.

"Because I told him to go away." I retort.

"No," He leans forward with one finger raised. "You said that you were not ready."

That's the same thing.

"That's not the same thing." His voice softly chuckles, as if he knows what I'm thinking. Most of the time, the bastard does. It's why I like him so much, though don't tell him. He continues, "If this is someone who is prepared to accept you for who you are, he will understand that you have boundaries and need time, given everything that you've been through."

"He's been through a lot, as well." I mumble. "What if I'm hurting him?"

"You'd be hurting the both of you by rushing into something, Lilette."

Damn. That makes a lot of sense. But… "I think I want to… I just freaked out and pushed him away."

He slowly nods his head, pleased to see I've recognized such things. "How about this," he starts scribbling down in that notebook placed upon his lap. "Let's do little steps, hmm? It's scary – not just for you, it would be scary for anyone. Do something small which frightens you."

"Frightens me?" I furrow my brow. "You mean like, remaining still when a spider is crawling on me or something?"

"No." He softly chuckles. "I mean, say yes to something where you'd normally say no. A little thing." He holds up his pen. "Don't suddenly find yourself moving half way across the world."

"Okay," I laugh. But, I usually say yes to Levi… He never really pushes anything which he'll likely know I'll say no. "Okay." I repeat again with a nod, noticing our hour is nearing its end.

"Lilette," he suddenly closes his book to pull my attention as I'm reaching for my coat. "We spent your entire session speaking about this gentleman." An honest and genuine smile slips over his face. I know entirely what he's referencing; entirely what he's really saying…

The first time we haven't spoken merely about your dead husband.

I likely look a little embarrassed, unsure of what to say and so he clarifies, "I'm happy for you. You like him."

I really like him. "Maybe a little." I blush while allowing a tiny smile to form in return.

I just hope I haven't ruined it.

"Good morning," I call over to him while pushing the door shut, arriving for another visit to the tea shop. Luckily, these days I hardly seem to require an excuse. "I brought you something." I smile while holding my hands behind my back, watching as a curious expression wins over his face. "By the way," I frown, "when is your birthday?" Teasingly winking, "And how old are you? You haven't told me any of these things yet."

"And I won't be." He softly chuckles an exhale.

"No fun. Fine, anyways – here!" I plop a little glass dish before him on the countertop which is covered by a clean dishtowel. He lifts the cloth, face taking in the freshly baked buttercream tiramisu pastries.

"I've always been much better at baking than cooking." I smile, "They're really good – I promise! I may have eaten one –" or two "before I plated them and came over here."

"You didn't need to…" his voice trails off as a blush creeps over his cheeks.

"They'll taste really good with this." I run over to grab the very tea I'm thinking of. Sending him apologetic eyes; sorry eyes for what I pulled the other night.

He retrieves a fork and my breath is held as the first bite is taken. "Lilette," his face looks surprised. "These are – you really made these?"

"Yes." Now I'm the one blushing.

"They're the best thing I've ever eaten."

"Oh, stop." I giggle, pulling out a second fork. Standing next to him as I take a little bite as well, damn – I've outdone myself.

"They're really good." He repeats and I'm vaguely aware of his words but mostly just distracted by the tiny spot of cream which still rests on his lip. Mostly just thinking about how inappropriate it would be for me to lean forward and lick –

"I wanted to tell you something." He clears his throat, pulling me back from my leud thoughts as I watch his thumb come up to wipe away my focal point. "I have a business trip which will pull me away for a week or two. I'll be leaving by the end of the week."

"Oh." Attempting to hide the disappointment in my voice, I've clearly failed. Mouth becomes dry and heart begins to panic a little. A few weeks? I'll be left without him here for a few weeks?

"It's… this thing I've been invited to." He shuffles uncomfortably before pulling out a letter from the drawer below him. Awkwardly clearing his throat, "I've been given a plus one, but… I can't imagine you'd be interested –"

"Yes!" I cut him off. Something which would scare me. Say yes where you'd normally say no. This one was too easy, because a few weeks without… I can hardly imagine it.

"Are you sure?" he looks surprised, passing the letter over into my hands. "Lilette, you should read this first."

Captain Ackerman, it would be our great pleasure to invite you to participate in –

"This is…" my eyes open wide. Captain? "This is over there? …On Paradis?"

"Yes." He nods.

Suddenly, my throat is exceptionally dry, barely able to breathe as I croak out. "What is it for?"

"Something about five years after the war… our Queen," his voice is lost on me as he continues to explain, hyper focused on the fact that he just said our Queen. His Queen. Suddenly, I've never felt so distanced from him, so far away.

"I'll understand if you don't wish to go over there." He brings a hand to rest on my arm.

Left without words, I merely blink at him while realizing how truly frightening this all just became. Left wondering if this constitutes as my doctor's classification as something small. It feels large.A deep breath in, I exhale the words before I can change my mind. "I'd like to go with you."

"Are – are you sure?" Levi looks surprised. I hardly blame him.

A nod and a smile seems to reassure and so he passes over a ticket which appears to be for one of the larger vessels.

"A Captain, huh?" I smile while fingers brush over the ticket.

Levi's face seems pained as he shakes his head to mumble, "I'm not a Captain anymore. I'm no longer part of their military."

Their. Their military. Hmm… which is it? Does he see himself as a little of both? Ours and theirs.

"Sounds like you were fairly important." I nudge him in the arm with a smile, lifting my fork to resume eating as a distraction from how entirely terrified I now feel for the weekend to arrive. Levi shrugs his shoulders while mimicking my movement with his fork. "You certainly have modesty, Captain." I wink, hoping to cause a chuckle but instead I just get another pained look. "I'm sorry," Reaching out for his arm – "I was just teasing. I won't call you that, don't worry."

"Please don't." He mumbles while staring down mindlessly at his fork, lost to thoughts.

Shit. I stuff a far too large bite into my mouth, hoping to fill it with enough sweetness that it will force away all of my stupidity or at least refrain me from speaking at all for a few moments…

"It's okay," his hand lifts up to cup my cheek, a flash of heat rushing up my spine again in only the way which he can cause. Thumb slowly swiping away a spot of buttercream I've missed before bringing it up to his own to disappear into that mouth which I just can't stop staring at for the life of me. His voice is low as he whispers over, "I don't want to be called that ever again."

"Levi." I whisper over with a smile. That's all I'll call him. Just Levi.

It works. A small smile slips over him as well, while he whispers back with warm eyes. "Lilette."

"Oh, I don't think I can do this…" I mumble to myself while gripping onto the small suitcase that I carry in my hands, knuckles turning a ghastly shade of white as I argue with myself on if I should turn and run from here. Run from the dock on which I currently stand. With a ticket tucked under my arm – likely not the best location because I'd be quite surprised if I do not have the nervous sweats at the moment… but I hadn't thought of such things until being here. How terrifying this all is, how large that ship appears. How I swear there must be some form of magnetic pull in the shore behind me because every fibre of my being feels as though it's being pulled back away from that vessel. Away from the sea… away from –

"Need some help with that?"

His voice startles me, pulling me from my thoughts and removing any last chance of fleeing. Not that I would do that to him, I wince upon even considering the look upon his face to arrive here and realize that I'd changed my mind. "Sorry?" I gulp, tilting my head.

"With your suitcase." He looks guilty, clearly registering how terrified I am at the idea of this. "Lilette, you don't have to –"

"I'm okay!" I cut him off with a forced smile. Nodding my head over towards the boarding ramp, gripping the leather handle of my bag just a little tighter in hopes that it may mask the trembles. The nervous sweats and the trembles – aren't I just the epitome of grace.

After a couple days, the faint outline of the coast begins to appear through the thick fog which sends a new round of terror through my stomach. We're here. I'm here – which is hard to believe. Over here, this place in which I'd never imagined stepping foot upon. The place in which he's from, it's hard to wrap my head around such a thing, that this is his home.

"How are you feeling?" His hand comes out to wrap around my waist, slowly guiding me over to the ramp before the rest of the crowd hits. "I'm okay," I whisper over with dry lips, apparently not at all convincing in my attempt to fool him because he gives me a strange little look before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "I'm still me." Warm eyes make contact with my own, repeating the sentiment. "Just because we're over here, I haven't changed."

You feel different. I want to whisper back in honesty, but instead I grab hold of his hand. Allowing him to pull me forward down the ramp and onto this new land, my eyes taking in the large building placed before us with walls nearly made of windows, inside I can see passengers eagerly waiting for the ship to empty so that it may fill again. Loved ones watching for their travellers to depart, the enormity of the structure leaves me a little breathless as I halt in my tracks, a furrowed brow as I whisper over, "I thought you didn't have any buildings so close to the sea?"

"None of this was here." His head motions towards the paved path leading down towards the station, the building itself, the lot of vehicles and main road which appears to lead further into the – city? Village? I hardly know what to call this place.

"Where are the walls?" I spin around, light breaths as I attempt to find what this place is most famous for when suddenly, I catch the look upon Levi's face at the same time I realize my stupidity. "That was foolish of me…" I mumble with far too quickening teary eyes, pulling forth memories I wish to stay pressed down. Pulling them up with my own foolishness, my own careless mistake. Of course, the walls are no longer here… images of giants crushing down upon the crowds around me, desperate cries run Lilette, go faster! Screams of lovers torn, children falling, buildings brought down by a –

"Lilette." Levi's hand smooths over the back of my dress, voice low and soft as if to gently pull me back from the hell my mind so frequently conjures. Gentle circles, slowly pressed against my skin until a small amount of color has returned to my face, as my breaths become less shallow.

"I'm sorry," I whisper with a deep blush of shame. Had I hurt him with my foolish words, as well?

"Even I forget at times." He leans in to whisper, a soft smile as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

Does he? I hardly know if that's an honest truth or a white little lie meant to purely ease my embarrassment. Either way, I appreciate it. An olive branch to grab onto and pull myself forward from the self-deprecating displeasure of my slip up. A light nod, I mumble a quiet thanks as we begin to walk forward. I notice his hand remains against the small of my back for the rest of the walk, thumb loosely brushing in a sort of way which suggests its being done absentmindedly, a comfort meant for myself or him? Perhaps the both of us as I make no suggestion for him to move it, stepping a little closer towards him as we step down from the platform and make our way over towards the arrival countertop.

"Captain Ackerman!" – the man behind the ticket station greets Levi with a look of astonishment, wide eyes and a giddy face. It throws me, greatly. Furthermore, Levi seems as though he doesn't recognize the man, which means –

Just how well known are you, over here?

I wish to ask, I'm painfully curious at this point but suddenly we're whisked away. Whisked over to a rather impressive looking vehicle, one imported from a place other than Marley I imagine, and the door is opened by another gentleman – a soldier – who informs us that he will be our driver.

"Arrangements have been made for you and –" the soldier looks into the mirror, eyes connecting with my own for some sort of hint as to who I am.

"Lilette Dubois." I whisper with an uncomfortable smile.

"For you and Miss Dubois." The soldier finishes before fixing his attention back to the road as he begins to pull us further into the – town. This feels like a town.

My eyes catch Levi staring at me before he shifts back to stare out the window, a strange look consuming his face which I'm near ready to simply ask what's the cause of it when all of a sudden, it hits me. He's never heard my last name, before. I've only been aware of his from the tea shipping labels at the shop. With little understanding of what comes over it, what compels me to speak the words, I'm suddenly mumbling over to him, "That's my maiden name. My mother's side of the family has traces to Averna before my great, great aunt moved to Marley and married an Eldian man. Avernians have a tradition where wedded couples hold onto their last names, so my family has sort of carried that on. I never changed it when I married."

Why am I telling him this?

Awkwardly clearing my throat, I send him an apologetic smile as if I've just subjected him to some terribly dull lecture. "I often wonder why people did that." He mumbles back, breaking the silence.

"Did what?" I breathe in, thankful for the distraction away from my terribly uncomfortable disclosure of information. Still attempting to sort out within my mind why I felt compelled to share with him that I do not carry my husband's last name.

"Marry an Eldian." He furrows his brow slightly. "Why would someone have done that?"

I hum, a tiny smile slipping over my lips as I lightly sigh. "For love, I imagine."

His face flushes as he awkwardly nods before turning to stare back out the window. Before I do the same, I catch the soldier staring at us in the mirror with a small smirk on his face – though not one of mockery. More one of pleasure, relief in watching what I imagine is a grumpy Captain now sitting in the back of his vehicle with a blush upon his face. My lips curl in a matching smile before I, too, stare out into the road. Quietly shifting my hand over upon the seat to brush pinky fingers with my quiet companion.

A few hours later, we arrive within a village with several shops and what appears to be a mixture of inns and taverns. We're guided into a large building, one which has gentle music playing on a nearby radio and I find myself shocked upon how quickly this island has caught up to the rest of the world. Suppose I shouldn't be however, I can only imagine the fire that would be ignited under my ass to learn all which the rest of the world had been taking for granted. Levi stands at the counter, speaking with a woman while I wander around the lobby with curious eyes.

"Lilette," Levi calls over to me a few moments later, unable to meet my stare as I walk over to join him. "It's just one room," he blushes before clearing his throat. "But there's a small couch sort of thing apparently, so –"

"Oh." My eyes widen.

"I'm so sorry," the woman calls out to the both of us. "It's just we're so booked from the ceremony and it was assumed that you would only need one room."

"Well…" I force a laugh. "It's fine, we can make do." This is not fine! Alarm bells going off in my head as I find myself wondering how I'm going to spend seven days sharing a room and quite possibly a bed with this man. Not fine. Not fine. Not fine.

I shouldn't have come. This is too much, I should have –

"Hey," Levi mumbles over towards me while the attendant is retrieving our keys. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I'm okay." I whisper back, though something about the look in his eyes tells me what a shit liar I am. Although something about the sincerity within those eyes suddenly leaves me feeling as though I truly am. Or, will be.

The next few hours are a bit of a whirlwind. Just enough time to unpack our luggage before a knock on the door reveals we've been requested for dinner at the Palace. "The Palace?" I gasp, blinking a few times in shock while running over in my head what I'll possibly wear. I've brought two or three dresses… none of which I had quite envisioned wearing to a palace, however… With a sigh, I pick one and rush off to press it smooth of any wrinkles, quickly distracting myself with the small task as to not entirely panic of how I'm meant to act before a Queen.

"You look lovely." Levi offers a soft smile as I walk out into the room, though there's a sadness in his eyes which I can detect. A hidden one, perhaps not quite visible to just anyone but regardless, it is there. Shit, I curse myself for failing to recognize I'm hardly the only one nervous in this room.

"Will some of your old comrades be here tonight?" I walk over to help with his tie.

A light scoff, though not one with sarcasm. One with a small amount of genuine amusement, perhaps, at just how little I know that statement to ring true. "Yes." He whispers, eyes following the way in which my fingers dance while looping the material into a knot around his neck. Pull the long end through the loop and – "There." I stand back and smile to admire my work, pleased to see I still recall how to do such things.

"Thank you." Levi nods before holding out an arm, a look to confirm that I am ready.

Ready? Well, as much as I'll ever be. He is my lifeline, my tether to what I know, the arm in which I hardly imagine I'll wish to let go of this evening; and so we go to greet the soldier outside who will guide us to the Palace. Tiny trembles of my fingers the entire time until I glance over to see the look upon his face and realize that the tables must reverse, this evening.

He's nervous. I had it all so very wrong. I am his lifeline; I am his tether to what feels known and familiar. My fingers are hardly the only ones which tremble as our arrival looms.

Their Queen is surprisingly lovely, surprisingly young – entirely a bit of a surprise as I stare out at the tiny woman reaching out to shake my hand. To shake my hand. Far different than what I'd imagine a Queen to be, but perhaps it's the man to my right which seems to draw so much attention and respect because as we make our way throughout the Palace, on route to where fresh biscuits and tea have been prepared, I can't help but notice the way they all look at him. Their stares, their spines which straighten just a little further when he walks into a room.

"Were you a rather big deal over here?" I lean in to whisper when I foolishly assume we're out of earshot from the Queen, yet she turns around with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Levi," she laughs, "have you not told her anything?"

His face tenses, eyes which will for her to let it be. "Yes," she gives me a wink, "he was a rather big deal."

"Oh." I blink a few times in astonishment. Just how big of a deal?

We're shown into the large sitting room where refreshments await, greeted by a small group of what appears to be old friends of Levi's as they quickly jump up from their seats to greet him. "Captain," one of them with short brown hair nods with a large grin on his face, "none of us believed it when Historia said you accepted."

"Brats," Levi grumbles yet with a smile on his face. "I've told you not to call me that."

"It's hard to address you as anything else, Sir." A tall blonde man comes over to shake his hand. This one wears a jacket which is decorated far more than the others, which tells me that he ranks high in their military. A fact which I soon find out to be true as he is introduced to me as the Commander of the Survey Corps – something which flies a little over my head, I'm not truly sure what a Survey Corps is, but I nod and promptly shake his hand. They all have kind eyes, something which my attention is immediately drawn to.

"This is Lilette." Levi blushes before throwing a slew of names at me which I desperately attempt to remember. Jean, Connie, Armin – the Commander, a few others.

"Annie and Reiner…" their Queen, who I am told to refer to as Historia but hardly can I imagine myself actually doing it… "they decided not to come." She sadly smiles.

"We really didn't think you'd come." The one I believe is called Jean nods towards Levi with a grin. "Especially didn't expect you to show up with your…" he smirks, motioning towards me and waiting for an answer.

It sends the two of us further into a bashful blush as Levi awkwardly mumbles over, "She's a friend."

"Thank you for having me." I smile, catching the looks they give one another when they think Levi is not looking. I'm starting to pick up this must have been his team – they look as though they enjoy giving him a little shit far too much for them to be anything else. It warms my heart a little, watching him stand here in between a group which he holds so dear to his heart. Watching him stare out at them with an attempted scowl, yet I can see the proudness which radiates throughout his face as they all catch up with where each one stands in life these days.

"How did you two meet?" Historia takes a seat beside me on the sofa, offering a top-up on my tea.

"Ah, thank you." I smile before taking a small sip and sinfully thinking to myself that Levi would have brewed it better. Speaking of – "He owns a tea shop in Marley. It's only a few blocks away from my home." Technically the truth? Not really… but I don't feel particularly inclined to explain we met in a graveyard.

"That doesn't surprise me in the slightest." Historia grins. "It's probably the best shop around."

"And the cleanest." I giggle.

Historia breaks out into a giggle as well while she leans over to whisper, "That doesn't surprise me, either."

The rest of the evening goes by far too quickly, I'm far too content to merely sit here on the floral sofa and watch as Levi stares out at his old team with such a pleased look on his face I can hardly bear it.

"So," Connie grins over to me at one point. "Captain really hasn't told you anything about his Scout days?"

"No." I catch a glare sent his way from Levi while I shake my head.

"We should go," he finishes off his tea before walking over to hold out an arm for me to grab.

"This was lovely." I smile over towards Historia and tell the others it was lovely to meet them. As I'm retrieving my coat, I overhear a few whispers being thrown Levi's way – last minute questions as to what our relationship with one another is. "We're friends, you shitheads." I hear Levi grumble, attempting to push them away. More whispers of disbelief; apparently, they're not buying it. "I just… I enjoy her company," he mumbles – "possibly more than she enjoys mine… leave it alone brats."

"We'll see you tomorrow," Historia happily waves once she catches me staring over at them. "At the ceremony!"

"See you all tomorrow." I smile back while slipping my hand through Levi's arm.

More than she enjoys mine.

…Does he truly think such a thing?

"Is everything okay?" I squeeze his hand as we walk back into our room an hour later. He nods, though it's hardly convincing and I continue to give him a look while he begins to release his tie.

"I don't like talking about that stuff." He mumbles and I can tell it's all I'll be getting from him this evening, so I reside to let the issue go – for now. Levi groans, rolling his neck a few times while pulling off his suit jacket. Apparently not a man who appreciates being stuffed into a suit for more than an hour or two, yet I have to admit that I appreciate it…

"There was someone missing." He frowns, suddenly flicking his eyes off towards the window.

"Who?" I walk over to stand by his side.

"Mikasa." His voice sounds pained, telling me I won't be hearing the entirety of this story, either. With their fresh and happy faces over tea, it's hard to remember just how much they've all likely lost. Just how much they've all been through… we've all been through.

"I'll sleep on the futon." He motions towards the other side of the room.

"Levi," I blush while shaking my head. "We're here because of you. I'm sure we can... you know, we can share." I blurt out, unable to meet his gaze as I practically run off towards the bathroom.

This is fine. I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time since arriving on this island, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror and willing my face to return to its normal hue. This is fine! Just sharing a bed… just sharing a bed with a friend!

Almost fully convinced, I opened the door once dressed in my pajamas to find Levi standing near the bed without a shirt on and – wow. This is…

"Fine." My mouth drops open a little as I whisper the word out loud.

"What?" He turns to look at me with confusion on his face.

"Huh?" I blink a few times, attempting to stop my eyes from trailing down to his – heavens, do I ever even see this man working out? How is he –

"Never mind." He clears his throat, quickly grabbing a t-shirt from his suitcase as a way to call out my painfully obvious staring. Shit… off to a great start, Lilette.

Thankfully, I do appear to maintain some of my composure as we crawl into bed. Wishing I had worn something a little more attractive than my nightgown… but at least it's the kind which ends at my knees and not my ankles! A giggle escapes my lips at the thought, quickly silenced as I catch the way he stares upon my legs when I crawl under the covers before quickly turning away to mumble over goodnight.

"Goodnight," I whisper back. Staring at the back of his head a little longer than I should be, catching his attention as he turns around to ask if I'm alright. "You haven't laid down," he frowns, "Is this – are you comfortable with this, still?"

"Oh!" I blush and quickly flop down onto the pillow. Nodding my head and mumbling another goodnight, I close my eyes and will that I'll stop making such an arse of myself tomorrow.

"Lilette," he turns back to stare at me after a few quiet moments. Another strange look consuming his face as he appears to debate whether to tell me something. "Sometimes I have dreams," he eventually mumbles.

"As do I." I bite back a grin. "Thank you for telling me."

"Screw off." He rolls his eyes with a smirk. "I meant – sometimes I have unpleasant dreams… if I… if I disrupt you –" His voice trails off and I can see the look of pain spread across those beautiful eyes of his so I shuffle closer until one hand can snake up to rest upon his forearm, all hints of sarcasm removed as I whisper over to him with sincere eyes, "As do I." The nightmares, I imagine we all have them.

He sighs, one of relief as he nods appreciatively and closes his eyes. My hand lingers on his arm for a while, unsure if I should pull it back or merely let it be. It's nice, I decide – the warmth of his skin slowly seeping through to warm my fingertips and so that is how we fall asleep, he and I. Foreheads nearly pressed into one another as I eventually shuffle further to rest my head on top of his arm, my hand switching over to rest a flat palm against his chest. His fingers wrapped in tightly through my hair as we both sleep without the ugly dreams, without the nightmares.

The next morning is spent care-free, wandering around the nearby shop and sampling foods, wines. "Most of this wasn't here when I left," he looks around in surprise.

"Is it strange being back?" I bump into his arm with a smile offered.

He stares for a moment, as if considering. "It's strange being here with you."

"Oh," I flinch.

"Not in a bad way." He grimaces, likely cursing himself for how that sounded. "I'm glad you're here – I hope you know that. Really glad…"

"I'm glad that I'm here." I giggle before grabbing hold of his arm and pulling him off towards another shop.

The ceremony that evening is more than I could ever have expected. Rows and rows of chairs, government and military officials – so many names and faces are thrown my way, immediately I resign myself to accepting I'll never remember them all. Everyone apparently wishing to either introduce or reintroduce themselves to the man whom is my date. For the second time during this trip, I'm left staring at him in disbelief – wondering who this man was, over here.

"Apparently, there's a medal I have to receive." He grumbles with a clenched jaw.

"You don't seem happy about it." I raised an amused eyebrow to watch as he gives me a look. The look which says all which needs to be said. Fair enough. Though I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy watching him go up there, watching as he shook the Queen's hand, a round of cheers echoing throughout the room as he bashfully nods and shuffles off the stage within an instant.

"You really must tell me a little of your military career." I whisper into his ear as we sit down at the Queen's residence for celebratory drinks afterwards.

"How have you not told her anything?" Historia shakes her head before deciding to fill in a few gaps for me, herself. "He was known as Humanity's Strongest."

"What?" I startle, turning to give Levi an incredible stare.

"Yeah," Connie laughs. "He brought down more titans than anyone else over here. We were all terrified of him." Levi gives him a glare, to which he quickly adds with a large grin, "We still are."

Humanity's Strongest? I'm in shock. "Did you fight in the Rumbling?" I blurt out without truly considering the question.

"We all did." Jean answered with lowered eyes.

I'm unable to stop staring, unable to stop realizing just how little he's shared. Just how much my pain has seemingly dominated everything, how little room I've left for his very own. "I don't like talking about it," Levi mumbles over, already picking up what's going through my mind. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you and I knew you'd listen, I just –"

"I understand." I squeeze his hand. I wish you told me… but yes, I understand.

"Captain could take down any titan. He was the only one who could take down any of them single-handedly." Jean winks towards Levi as if just having done him a favor. Perhaps he'll feel responsible for getting his grouchy Captain laid this evening? I nearly burst out laughing at the thought and from Levi's unimpressed face.

"Let's stop talking about it." Armin lightly smiles, the only one truly doing Levi a favor.

Humanity's Strongest, huh? I get caught with my gaze lingering on him and receive a smirk as he pulls me over closer on the sofa to him, passing me a new drink to replace my empty glass. "I just sell tea, now." He deadpans while I break out into a laugh.

"Just tea." I repeat with a wink, watching as he softly smiles back while reaching out for another drink of his own. Just tea, just Levi – that's all he wants to be.

The bubbly champagne has certainly gone to my head a little as I stumble back into our room, a goofy grin plastered all over my face as my hand continues to linger within his once we're inside. "Don't let go," I whisper over and quietly blink as he stares back with a look of amusement.

"Scared of getting lost?" He smirks a little, the flush of his cheeks telling me that the champagne has hit him as well.

"I already feel lost." The words slip out from my lips before I've comprehended them, causing Levi to look a little concerned at what is likely his mind attempting to sort out if that is a good thing. Is it? I hardly know myself, although I'm inclined to say that it is. My life felt rather meaningless before this strange and mysterious man entered into it, before I felt the spark of wanting someone again. The spark of needing someone again. I feel lost in him, lost in the feeling of wanting his hand within mine, wanting his lips against mine, wanting more – wanting all of him.

"Lilette," he squeezes my hand. Pulling me from thoughts which have most certainly flushed my face, only further.

"Kiss me?" A soft whisper, a desperate plea. I stare at him with needy eyes, needy lips. Kiss me, Levi. Now – kiss me.

In one step, his hands have swooped around me. Arms wrap and pull me closer until there's barely any space between the two of us as we step backwards so that I'm pressed against the wall. "Kiss me." Less of a question this time, my lips demand it – need it. I can't wait a moment longer, face flushed and breath is heavy as my fingers snake up to grab at his shirt collar. I need his lips on mine. "Levi –"

He cuts me off with a perfect kiss. Lips placed so softly, one hand cradling my jaw as if to hold me still. Something which may be required a little more than he may know in this moment because my mind, my head, my heart – they're already floating around up there among the clouds. My lips, however – my lips are his. Claimed slowly and carefully, nipped at, explored, cherished. Warm tongue pulls mine forward, curling out a moan, a desperate sigh for more. I need more.

His eyes call out for me to ride out this torturously slow pace in which he's set; to relax, to let him slowly and attentively savour this moment as he steadily deepens our kiss.

I'm falling. I've fallen. Lost, lost in to be lost in this moment, wishing to feel his skin pressed up against mine in more places than just this one; in all places.

"Can you help me with my dress?" I pull back to whisper, watching as his eyes flash wide before he quickly nods and so I turn around. Pulling my hair off to one side to reveal the small silver zipper which lowers down my back, one of his hands firmly rests upon my hip while the other slides up the smooth material of my dress, thumb kneading into my spine until his fingers toy with the zipper. Is the air suddenly thicker in here? More warm? Heavier?

His breath, I can feel it against the skin of my neck as he stares down at my nape. My fingers trembling just a little as I continue holding over my hair, the feeling of him slowly – painfully slowly – pulling down the zipper as its noise fills the air around us. Half way down my back, the cool air hits my exposed skin in a way which has me shivering though not from a chill, more of a thick anticipation of what the next few moments will bring. A flick of his eyes to mine, inquiring if he should keep going. I make no indication of pulling away and so he continues.

The zipper's metal slides down my skin, nipping a little at the waist where my dress is the tightest and a tiny yelp, really in the form of a sharp breath, slips out. Shhh – Levi presses his lips against my ear and breathes out an exhale to calm me, his thumb stroking over the pricked skin in a way which has me melting. Legs barely functioning at this point, his hand around my hip tightens its grip as if to steady me.

He knows, the bastard. Knows just how much he's turning me to a mess of heat and want.

The zipper stops, we're at the end. Hand hovering over the small of my back as if waiting for some form of further instructions. I'm a little too tipsy and a little too desperate for this to be over, and so in a move which requires far more boldness than I usually contain, I slip the dress down over my shoulders, down over the black bustier which I wear underneath, keep going over my waist, my hips – his hand pulls away for a moment to let the material fall down. Down over the matching black panties around my hips, down until it pools around my ankles of which I take a step out of, closer to the wall and so my hands come out to steady myself against it.

Levi's hands are pulled back to my waist, fingers firmly planted into my skin in a grip which almost feels as though he's holding me in place. Scared for me to move back any further, nervous of how I may react to…

The sugary sweetness of my earlier drinks cloud my mind and give me the courage to grab hold of his forearms, pulling them forward until his arms wrap fully around me, until my back runs flush with his chest and yes –

"Sorry," he exhales with a twinge of embarrassment, but there is entirely no need. Biting down on my lower lip, desperate to keep myself from full on crying out at how badly I wish to feel what is currently pressed up against my back to be pressed up against –

"Fuck, Lilette…" he hisses, chin coming down to rest against my shoulder as he closes his eyes. Only then do I realize that I'd shuffled my hips a little which provided a bit of friction against his groin. "That's –" he grunts, cut off as I do the motion again. Intentionally, this time… perhaps overdoing it a little as his arms tighten further around my waist and he moans.

Moans.

It's both parts attractive and endearingly cute. The little friction, the slight movement of my hips and I already have him breaking that usual silence. I blush, unable to stop myself from wanting to hear more. Wanting to hear what he'll sound like when my thighs are straddled around his waist…

I step forward, prepared to tease a little and pull away when his arms suddenly pull me back in with a look of desperation on his face. A little caught off guard by his strength, though certainly not unwanted. Hardly should I be surprised, mind pulled back to the ceremony from earlier this evening. The way in which they all spoke of him, I'd wager he could do a little more than throw me against this wall… even now.

"Lil–" his breath is caught, voice heavy and thick as he gulps before pressing lips against my neck to stifle any sounds as I push back into him again.

I don't care who he was over here. I don't care what he once meant, what he wishes to run from – the things they say he used to be. He's just a man in my eyes, just Levi. Just a man I've been fantasizing about having under me, on top of me… A man I want to –

"Levi." My face contorts into a little frown as something from this evening comes furrowing its way into my mind. The only one who could single-handedly bring down any titan. Any titan… any? What about… "Was there a certain one they were talking about?" My breath fades to a mere whisper as his hands begin to knead into my hips.

"What?" he mumbles into my neck, lips and teeth nipping at what will surely be bruised skin. He's barely listening to me, so overcome with lust.

"The titans." My voice must contain a certain level of shrillness as he suddenly halts, hands pull away as he clears his throat to ask, "What do you mean?"

"Was there a certain titan that you took down?" Chest heaving, suddenly I already know.

He frowns, unsure why I've decided to bring up such a thing, in a moment such as this; yet trusts that it must be important. "The Beast Titan."

"Oh." The word slips out of my mind as knees give away, slowly I am falling down to the ground until arms quickly reach out to grab me. "Lilette!" He looks terrified, not yet understanding why my face looks so filled with horror. "What's wrong? Lilette!"

"Please don't touch me." I whisper out before thick salty tears begin to break free. Levi looks entirely confused, eyes frantically scanning my face for some sort of information as to why this is happening. "Please," my limbs begin to shiver as I curl up against the wall, fingers reaching for my dress and covering with it the best I can manage. "Please don't touch me…"

"What did I do?" He steps back with wide eyes.

What did you do? I close my lids in an attempt to stop the images flashing before my eyes yet it only makes it worse. Bricks falling, screams, a flash of black – a flash of raven hair, debris falling, screams – screams of my husband.

"Lilette?" Levi sounds further disturbed, wondering how best to help me in this moment.

"Please leave." I hiss out while tears begin to switch into a full-blown panic attack. "Please –" a gasp for air as I shiver, pulling my dress closer to cover my bare shoulders. I should never have come to this fucking island.

Our eyes meet and I find myself staring into a heartbroken man. A broken heart staring back, hoarsely whispering the words a final time.

"…Please leave."