THE COMMANDER BEING POISONED

The Robert Keyes Farm. We're here, and we'll wait. My guys pacified the place easily. These Eastern District Guardians were not exactly, 'elite'. High Commander Putnam had delivered on his promise to me - my dozen were elite. Very elite. I'd go to war with them any day.

Robert Keyes was dying. My medic said he'd been poisoned. The main symptom was the dementia. The medic said it's a miracle he'd lasted this long. As it was, the Wife - all of fourteen years old - was arrested. The Eastern District was now handling her. Me, I had to keep my eye on the prize.

Me? Just a while ago I'd been on the run from June Osborne. Now, I'm looking for her. She should have been here, as should have been the other handmaids - the ones who'd been in on June's fireworks back in Boston. I will be honest, it will take a mammoth amount of work to keep June alive, even if it was me apprehending her. My deal was with Putnam, so far Putnam had not reneged. But once June was caught and transferred to the prison, all bets were off. Putnam will be key. Depending on how long he's High Commander.

Me, I'm cooling my heels at the Keyes farm. Waiting. Mrs. Keyes, the fourteen year old, said that June was off somewhere, and would be back. So it was we wait.

WHERE THE MIND WANDERS

I have to keep that woman alive. June. I'd nodded off a minute ago. I dreamed the three of us were in western Canada in winter - Nichole in a snowsuit.

The place we lived looked an awful lot like the MacKenzie summer house, the place where Nichole had been born. Where I'd failed to protect them. The little cadre of people who were 'family' to me. Nichole, my daughter. June - not my wife, she's Luke's wife - but she's the mother of my child.

I love them both.

I almost wrote, 'for whom I would do anything, move heaven and earth'. But it was not like that back at the empty-and-winterized MacKenzie summer house. Me, I'd failed them there. My failures left June to give birth all by herself, alone, to our blessed Nichole. I failed June. I failed Nichole. I failed Eden.

Commander Waterford had called me into his office. He said that I was to deliver on 'a present' for Offred. I'd almost decked him right then, right there. He was doing the same thing he'd done with the first Offred. The one who the bastard had driven to suicide. The coward Waterford had left it to me to deal with that Offred's body. At least that one had not been my fault.

I always vow to get even, and I never deliver. I was such a coward. I had abandoned her to the Swiss in D.C., so I wondered when she was going to start getting even with me.

I'd piled the heavily pregnant June into the Commander's SUV and headed out of the city. Way, way out, all the way to the MacKenzie's place. We all knew that no one would be there.

It was a place that Agnes MacKenzie had been many times - mostly with her martha, Frances. But also with her parents, Commander and Mrs. MacKenzie. Check that - June is her mother. Luke Bankole is her father. Fred Waterford was playing with June's heart - that guy deserved a comeuppance on that alone. He killed every one around him.

I wasn't sure until we got there, but once inside it was obvious - Fred Waterford had bought 10 minutes for June to be with Agnes. I tried to tune out. It was clear that Agnes, who June called 'Hannah banana', was angry with her mother. "Why didn't you try harder," was the kid's cry when June said she'd looked and looked and looked. I'd been outright angry at Dr. Malek's mutilation, and hearing the kid chastize her mother, my anger almost rose to that level.

Then they were gone. June was almost collapsing. But we needed to get out of there. Then my failure to protect hit a new height.

CONSEQUENCES OF FAILURE

I'd known what Serena and Fred had done the night before. Rita told me. Rita had been hysterical, almost like she'd been when she'd found the first Offred. Dead.

I don't know why I'd done nothing. I wish I could have snapped. There are some people who need killing. My bad. I was a coward.

So there we were, June and I at the MacKenzie's. Giving enough time for martha Francis, Agnes, and their Guardian to clear the area. Me, I should have acted sooner. I didn't. I'd not waited in Chicago to order the bombardment on my own position. At the MacKenzie's I wavered. I failed. I failed my family.

There was no way that those two goons should have overpowered me. I'd tried to play it smart. I was not that smart. I was zip-tied, lay on the floor of their SUV. I wanted to yell for June. They got my keys, and took the Waterford SUV leaving her behind. I had endangered June. Me. I endangered Nichole. The fault was mine.

June told me that both Fred and Serena had turned up. Their concern? Not the baby, they were petrified they'd be on the wall. They certainly had done enough to merit that. Fred's retort to Serena saying they'd be on the wall? "Just my fucking luck, I'd be beside you." Serena told Fred that I was the father of June's baby. Fuck. Then they, too, left.

The Commander? The little weasel? He lied. To my benefit. Said to Grinnel and Horace that I'd been apprehended as the result of a 'little misunderstanding' between Guardians. Apparently, no one wanted to stir the pot on Nichole's birth. Yes, folks, these were the Commanders of Gilead!

Then Eden went missing. With Isaac. My fault, too. All I had to do was show her some attention. I mean, she was fifteen. All she had to do was lie about Isaac. Which she wouldn't do. She was my wife. I failed her, too. I kill families.

Consequences of failure? Here I am, trying to sleep at a remote farm. Waiting for June to show up.

Which she eventually did. Not the other handmaids, just June.

It was going to be harder to keep her alive than I thought.

RITA, BLESSED RITA

RB: Nick, have you been crying?

NB: Just never mind, Rita. It's none of your business.

RB: No, it's your business Nick. Your business. I'm putting my nose in your business. Just like you did with me..

NB: -wiping eyes- Rita, I never thought I'd be a worse father than my own.

RB: Now don't you do that, not you, Nick Blaine. -pause- You saved me, Nick.

NB: Ha! You're a slave, Rita. Look what I saved you for.

RB: Now you're just being a dick, Nick. I don't need reminding of that! Listen to me, you saved me. -pause- And I have one more thing for you. Only you can do it, Guardian Nick.

NB: Wow. Are you trying to make me laugh?

RB: It's better than being miserable. -pause- Listen to me, Nick Blaine. You have to get a truck. One heading for Canada. If you don't I will.

NB: It's no time to run, Rita. I thought you knew me.

RB: Not for you, you dolt. For June. For Nichole. Be a father. There's a route through the neighbouring estates, their backyards. At night, it's not lit. The pick-up point is under a railway overpass. June and Nichole, they could do it.

NB: 'Trucks' mean 'Beth'. Beth's pick up point.

RB: You are Mayday, Nick. A little slow, but you catch on.

NB: When?

RB: Maybe tomorrow night. Maybe the next.

NB: Let me know. -pause- And do me a favour.

RB: What's that?

NB: June's not to know until the last minute. I'm going to have to figure out a diversion.

RB: Don't get fancy. It's just a truck. And quit your bawling. You're a Guardian. Suck it up, buttercup.

NB: I'm a father and husband. -pause- Ex-husband. Widower. My fault. And I can't protect June or Nichole. Eden's dead. That's on me.

RB: You stow that stuff. Keep your shit together.

STAYING ALIVE - THE BEE GEES

I was standing over her in the farm yard, she covered with the Guardian's blood. I knelt beside her. I'd not seen her since D.C., since my deployment. Honestly, she looked like shit. Why not. Her life was about to get difficult. Ok, more difficult.

She'd not even met Lieutenant Stans yet.

No wiggle room for me. Or for her. I asked her where the other handmaids were. The look on her face - by that look alone I knew how she'd managed trafficking 86 kids out of the country.

"Look, June. My job now is to keep you alive. But I need to know where the others are." Like I said, no wiggle room on that.

I repeated the plea to June on arrival. It was to be my last chance. Lydia showed up, claiming to be June's Guardian Angel. What was to come was out of my hands.

A young Guardian in prison kit came to me, "We need you in the interview room, sir. Please come with me." I told my sergeant to take my men to the barracks off site from the prison, while I 'attended to business'.

The business? I was put into a room, two chairs in the middle and a bare table against the wall to the side. When the door closed, I heard it lock. Me, I just picked a chair and sat. What now?

The door eventually unlocked, and in strode a tall man in a high turtlenecked sweater. Not regulation wear, but this was Lieutenant Stans. Known for his polite, effusive manner - just before he pulled your nails out.

"Colonel Blaine, how nice to meet you. I've always wanted to meet the saviour of Chicago. Is there anything I can get for you, a refreshment maybe?" Not waiting for my answer he sat across from me, making me wonder if he'd really deliver on a request for decaf coffee.

I was about to ask what this was about, but he continued undeterred. "Colonel Blaine. Apologies, from what I hear we'll soon be calling you Commander Blaine. Let me be the first to congratulate you. I can't tell you how many times your District Chancery has called me in the last few hours. Me, I try not to be a suspicious person." He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, said, "I like people. I like you! I mean, Nick, who doesn't like you."

Something was going on. I was about to ask for a satellite phone so that I could speak to Putnam directly. Or at least my sergeant, to come get me. Then again, prison security - they were elite and they had all the ordnance. It seemed that for the next while it was me and Stans. As Rita would have said, 'Suck it up buttercup'.

Stans sat up straight with his arms akimbo on his thighs. He said, "You know who really likes you, Nick?" He paused to measure my reaction. "Beth. Ex-martha Beth. Commander Lawrence's confederate. She really likes you, Nick."

He stood but continued. "She's in a guest suite just down the hall. We've had a lot of leverage bunking her with her friend, Sienna. Poor, poor Beth, she doesn't like seeing Sienna suffer. Such a shame."

He walked to the door and knocked, it unlocked and opened. Stans said, "I need to see if Beth has any complaints about the room service. Me, I'm here to please. Do I please you, Nick?"

At that, Stans left and the door locked behind him.