Re-Destro spun around as he eyed his glorious car collection – that's parked in Detnerat's underground parking area and taking up almost 90% of the space there, so he could marvel at his automobiles even while working. Neat! (And to prevent that idiot Miyashita from bringing in his bus to park there.)
There's a fancy red Cadillac, an off-road SUV, as well as an actual F1 racecar. But his pride and glory sits at the leftmost side of the parking lot, and it was a huge monster truck designed after his head that can tunnel underground with the nose that transforms into a drill. It reminded him a a bit of the DaBaby convertible.
It was beyond awesome, and he made it armed to the teeth with machine guns and rockets just in case the real Batman mistook him for the Joker.
But since they're just here to destroy the League of Villains, they need something with a lot less pizzazz, and something that looked more humble, something that they would never expect.
"Skeps! What ride could we take?"
Skeptic pointed at a neatly parked group of rice sacks. "We do the sack race method all the way to Deika City!" He then picked up a sack and started jumping around, making Re-Destro think about the legendary image of the elite MLA commanders hopping along the highway in sacks.
Re-Destro stroked his chin. It made sense to go for the sack race method as Curious, and her inherent big badonkadonks, can't hop around because she never bought a sports bra once in her life. And the thought of having their token ugly teammate not included in this little adventure is really thrilling!
But that wouldn't make much sense, for the MLA without Curious is just… not MLA but something… He was about to decide on a name when he saw Skeptic suddenly dressed up as a Spanish Cardinal.
"Woah Skepsman! I didn't expect that!"
Geten and Curious backed off in shock, there's no way they could expect it. Trumpet, on the other hand, just faced the nearest wall because he's a character no one likes. Plus he's pretty good at facing walls.
"Too bad we can't use that as disguise. There's no way they can expect that to the point that they could literally expect a sudden group of Spanish Inquisitors coming their way! It's insane! Plus it's a dead joke."
"But we just tossed Trumpet out of the elevator earlier! Isn't that a dead joke too?"
"Yeah…" Re-Destro slouched forward as he walked, inspecting his vehicle collection. He was about to go for the clown van when he found something far better.
"There it is!" the CEO pointed towards a chariot, channeling the energies of Twice just so he can pose without breaking his back. But since Twice is part of the enemy, he denied him access to his energies so he fell flat. "The chariot!"
The group went over to the rightmost side of the parking lot, where a fancy roofless chariot lie. It was completely black with trims of red going around all over it, giving it a theme similar to Re-Destro's old NanaShimuraXAllForOne fanfictions which he sent to Curious for publishing under the disguise as the Liberation Book.
The CEO beckoned Skeptic to sit at the front side of the chariot, and commanded Trumpet and Geten to wear the horse outfit lying on the floor.
"Why do we even need the horse outfit?" Geten complained as he picked up the wonderfully-made horse costume masterpiece. "We got Skeptic and his puppets!"
"Shut up! Supreme Leader's orders!" Re-Destro yelled as he climbed up the chariot. "Now don the costume goddammit!"
Rolling their eyes, Trumpet held the horse outfit high for Geten to come in and hang onto his shoulders – and acting as the horse's rear, before setting the costume down on them.
But since Geten is wearing a huge stack of winter coats, he made the horse's backside unusually large.
"DAMN BOY!" Skeptic yelled out loud but Re-Destro smacked him across the back of his head so he himself can utter the next set of words. "YOU THICC!"
The wave of thickness echoed throughout the parking lot, causing a horde of donkeys, people, and donkey people to peek down to witness such unnatural backside proportions. It was only then when Re-Destro noticed that it was a donkey costume and not a whore's – he meant horse.
"What about me?" Curious, still with lines drawn on her eyes to make her look 20 years older, asked. "You can't just leave me out he-"
Skeptic got down, picked her up from her waist over his head like a cartoon character, and waddled towards the back of the chariot like a cartoon character, before throwing her in the storage compartment and locking it down like an awesome person – which made him slightly mad because it didn't make him look like a cartoon character.
"Skeps! You've done it again!" Re-Destro tapped the storage compartment.
"I never fail!" Skeptic said as he grabbed another donkey outfit before climbing up. He put it on before going to his place of being the driver.
"Hey Curious! Are you okay?" Re-Destro yelled into the storage compartment, putting an absurd amount of emphasis on the 'okay' word. Now if only he puts as much emphasis on being an actual MLA leader, his dad would be proud.
There were a series of mumbles that came in as a reply, making the CEO amazed that Curious could learn a new language almost instantly.
"Okay! Let's go!"
Skeptic slapped the fat ass of the donkey, making Geten and Trumpet walk, pulling the entire carriage.
They went out of the underground parking lot and drew the attention of the people around them as if they've never seen a donkey. And it was not even an ordinary oversized donkey, for it was an extra thick donkey in which Skeptic – also in a donkey outfit, kept on smacking its backside.
Meanwhile Re-Destro sat there in a Japanese sit, because he's not Indian to do the Indian Sit. He has his arms crossed and feeling proud that his carriage is drawn by a thicc donkey as well another donkey being the driver. Their donkey costumes are so authentic that the faces can even move as it mimicked the face of the wearer.
But there were some mishaps here and there like what happened to Skeptic's donkey mask who's now stuck in a silly grin with his tongue out as he kept on slapping Geten's backside.
The horny police came in to intervene, but since it doesn't involve people with big tits and ogling, they walked off again but made sure to apprehend a person with a glowing lightbulb for a head for being turned on, in whatever meaning one can think of it.
The group went on to their little adventure, passing residential areas, towns, other cities, and then on to a bridge which broke down and forced them to travel underwater. At the same time Re-Destro is now wearing a sultan's outfit, not because he looked good in it, but because of a lack of another donkey outfit.
It took them a while, but they eventually went up an overpass and got stuck in traffic. Was it lunch hour? Is it the lunch rush people always say? But no, it was yet another huge group of people looking up and wondering if a small speck in the sky is a bird or a plane.
Re-Destro got relieved a bit because it's obviously Soaperman, master of soaps. It's a good thing it's not Superman or else it could mean that the Justice League is nearby, which meant that Batman could be coming for him and his majestic nose.
"Skeps!" Re-Destro called out. "Perform evasive maneuvers!"
Skeptic immediately ducked, went to the right, to the left, and wiggled in his seat before turning around. "No sir, evasive maneuvers won't do a thing."
"Just watch me…" Re-Destro ducked, went to the right, to the left, and wiggled in his seat, allowing him to see a gap between the vehicles that they could wedge through.
Skeptic was amazed at the boss's evasive maneuvers, and instructed the donkey as well.
Trumpet and Geten ducked, went to the right, to the left, and wiggled at their position. They accomplished nothing at all.
"Send the donkey to that small opening!" Re-Destro yelled out, now in a fast food mascot outfit, pointed at a small gap between some cars to their right.
"But boss! The carriage won't fit!"
"Tell the donkey to climb over the cars!"
"Donkeys! Climb over the cars."
In a matter of seconds, a wave of donkeys from behind them climbed over some cars. And that was it. The donkeys were never seen again. It made Skeptic wonder if they're just part of a joke and made no real sense.
"So we meet again!"
Re-Destro turned to his right, to the left, and then to the back… and back to his right again to find De-Destro and his team hopping along in rice sacks, easily maneuvering across the traffic jam. It made the CEO mad as he thought again about Curious not good at anything related to jumping, running, wiggling, animal wrestling, forest firing, and space piloting – which made her not good at sack racing while the ever-beautiful Inquisitive hops away like no tomorrow thanks to her being flat-chested.
"Curse you De-Destro!"
"See ya sucker!" De-Destro flipped him off, and by flip he literally did a front flip causing people to come out of their cars to applaud him and making the small opening gone because of the opened-up doors. "My Liberating Army Wins Again!"
The little rival group went off into the horizon in their little rice sack jumping spree.
The sound of wet splooge is heard from the front side as a sticky brown fluid dropped from the donkey's back.
"Geten?! What the hell?!" Skeptic yelled out at the donkey's butt.
"It's just my chocolate bar, Skeptic! Nothing to worry about!" Geten's voice sounded out of the donkey's butt, making nearby people amazed to the presence of the mighty talking donkey butt. His hand then appeared from the donkey costume's side holding a molten chocolate bar. What's the other molten chocolate bar on the ground? Only philosophers can tell.
But even then, philosophers couldn't tell. There's a reason Geten is called Geten. But nobody could tell what it is.
Meanwhile, Trumpet pulled out a water bottle and tossed it onto the donkey's face, successfully catching it
"Hey Trumpet! I'm thirsty over here, gimme a bottle too!"
Trumpet then wiggled a bit and turned around, and it was the motion that broke the camel's back, only that it wasn't a camel, and it wasn't even a real donkey, but somewhere in the middle east, a camel broke it's back – from doing too much Jojo poses.
The people gasped, got scared, and went back to their cars. But it did nothing to the overall traffic jam.
"The opening's ready! Push on comrades!" Re-Destro waved a red flag and charged on, effortlessly leaping over some cars, before realizing that he had to be in the carriage to make himself extra cool so the fans wouldn't think that he's a maniac living in a fantasy world.
Skeptic slapped the donkey's backside and pushed onwards to the car in front, Trumpet trying his best to climb onto the car's back, but they were just too weak to pull the carriage over it and just made it look like the donkey's humping the car.
Sure enough, the car got pregnant. But since the car is a female character in MHA, she got no screentime.
But the act itself is enough for people wondering if the small speck is Soaperman to change their attention to the pregnant car, allowing the team to pass through in peace.
"Finally! Now let's start some planning!" Re-Destro aligned his head forward to be more aerodynamic as the carriage sped on. He then turned to the storage compartment. "Curious! Get up here and help us plan goddammit!"
He chose to say 'goddammit' simply because he wanted to, and he looked at least 10% more awesome doing it.
There was no answer. Maybe she died? Maybe Toga was inside and killed her?! Oh my God!
The CEO unlocked the storage compartment and found their token female member, all dressed up in her PJs and sucking a thumb as well as having an arm draped over a teddy… bear…
Re-Destro quickly grabbed Miyashita and threw him off the bridge and then grabbed the sleeping Curious and threw her up into the clouds as it was the fastest way to wake her up. Even up in the clouds, her natural ugliness caused the sky to break into a black void. But it was okay, the sky repaired itself soon but only after letting a couple of eldritch abominations pass through, it was nothing bad.
"Congratulations Curious! You're awake now!" Re-Destro caught the woman on her descent, looking all shook up and eyes bulging. "Now help us plan!"
Re-Destro set the woman on the carriage beside him, who immediately clung onto the seat for dear life (still in her PJs) with trembling arms which made the CEO proud that she's getting warmed up and ready, before reaching under a small table and pulling out a small flat square box.
It was a pizza box. But since the pizza is long since gone, there's no sense of calling it a pizza box anymore.
"Alright so Skeptic's the shoe-" he said, grabbing a small plastic shoe, "and you're this hat. While I'm this finger," he said while planting a finger on the box. He then opened it to reveal a small monopoly board with an image of Re-Destro himself at the middle giving everyone the middle finger, as well as indirectly tossing both the shoe and the hat off the grid so only the mighty finger of the CEO will stay.
"Here's me…" Re-Destro calmly explained to Curious, who's still gripping the seats tight and sweating profusely, breathing heavily in and out in rapid succession like she's about to have a heart attack in any moment. It was a good thing she's a villain, lacking a heart of any kind… literally. Blood goes around her powered by pure one-dimensional villain energy. Some people say she has big mommy energy too, but since she doesn't give him money if he asked, then the statement's clearly false.
Re-Destro wondered if he lacked a heart as well before shrugging off. Of course he doesn't! He's a CEO for cryin' out loud! Do those plebs think they can get a share of his riches? NO!