Re-Destro decided that they will make their way up to the mountain disguised as ice cream vendors. It was perfect! It was fantastic! Nobody would expect the might leaders of the Meta Liberation Army to come in disguised as humble ice cream vendors!
As of now, not a sight of the dreaded 'other' MLA with De-Destro. Which is an incredibly good thing, or else they might steal the spotlight yet again, little did they know that this fic will never finish!
Geten, now thawed from warm hugs, will pretend to be the vendor, while Trumpet – ever the useless character, will be the one pushing the bike to support the fan-favorite elementalist.
"My God! This is perfect!" Re-Destro shouted out loud as Geten got dressed up as a clown, which suited him so much that Re-Destro thought of firing him on the spot because he'll look better than him. But deep in the back of his mind he thought about whether it was just destiny that Geten should just be a clown.
He then turned around. "SkepsMAN! Curious! To me!" he said as he dove into ice cream cart cooler through the small 5-inch diameter hole. It was a lousy dive and such technique could not be perfected by mere-
Skeptic dove perfectly with the grace of an Olympic diver, landing in a clear spot without ice cream and huddled up with his legs to his chest, because he, too, can somehow fit in there.
Curious took a while to get in because she can barely fit her thighs into the she got there in the end when Re-Destro pulled her inside. She then huddled up as well with her legs to her chest, with the ever fabulous CEO restraining himself to the best of his ability not to make any boob jokes.
The ice cream cart is closed and on they go.
Meanwhile Geten wondered how three people can even fit inside a container that can barely fit a dog. But he never questioned it and just attributed it to the leaders being masters of their meta being liberated… whatever that means.
"Hey… where's the light switch…?" came in Re-Destro's voice echoing form inside the cart.
"Can't find anything here, boss…" Skeptic's voice came out as well. It became gay after a few seconds.
"Umm Curious? Pardon me but I think my nose is sticking right between your lady melons."
"I'm just sitting right here…" Curious replied, her voice sounding monotonous from the right side of the container.
"I can feel something sticking up my butt…"
"SKEPSMAN! You didn't say anything!"
"I don't wanna lose my MLA Liberation Leader cash bonus, boss."
"Whatever Skeps. Geten! Trumpet! Fire it up! Move move move move move!" Re-Destro said as he poked his nose through the front side of the ice cream cart to peek. Noticing their now faster pace. He then turned his back on it to conserve valuable cold air inside.
Geten started pedaling with the might of a one-man show while Trumpet began channeling his inner usefulness to power through, pushing the cart faster than people who think they're a one-man show.
They eventually reached the base of the mountain and started ascending. It was only then when weird sounds began coming out from the cart.
"Skepsmaaaannn… I'm hungry…" said Re-Destro's weak voice amidst the sound effects of the ocean, all coming from within the ice cream container. "We haven't caught anything in days and I just ate your last chocolate bar."
"If only you guys would stop whining and actually help me out here! Skeptic! I thought you're in charge with water collection?" Curious yelled out in frustration.
"Yeah Curious… I am… but then I noticed something else… Boss? Look at this!"
There were sounds akin to that of wooden planks being shifted while in the middle of the sea. Both Geten and Trumpet just shrugged it off. The boss's imagination tends to run wild during trying times.
"What is it, Skepsman? – Oh my God! What happened!"
There were sounds akin to that of magical mechanical steampunk dystopian utopian Mary Sue whirring.
"I caught a fish… and then that witch Curious absorbed it! Because women in these parts should always look sexy! We're both skin and bones and there's YOU who's still normal, showing off with your torn-up clothes! You think this is a fashion show?!"
"Hey! It's not my problem my body automatically maintains itself!"
There were more sounds of arcane steampunk dystopian whirring followed by a small mystical explosion.
"See, Boss? She absorbs fish even before we caught it!"
"Skepsman's right… Although I think it's best to just kill the weakest member and just eat fresh meat!"
"Boss? That's very cannibal of you-"
"YOU!"
"Me?!" Skeptic's voice pierced through the container as he used both his low-pitched original Japanese voice and his gangly english one.
"Yeah Skepsman! You're weaker than me! You're the weakest one here like you said earlier! You got no mannequins to take control! Who's gonna save you now huh?!"
"Yep, Skeptic! You gonna die! And not me! MWAHAHAHA! THIS WILL MAKE GREAT NEWS ONCE WE GET BACK-"
Geten and Trumpet suddenly stopped when four people that looked like heroes dressed in cat-themed outfits surrounded them and ordered a scoop for each.
The two MLA-Elites-Disguised-As-Ice-Cream-Vendors just shrugged it off and the voices from inside the cart stopped as well. Geten channeled his inner Iceman to unlock his second stage of being the IceCreamMan and readied up a cone and scooped with the accuracy and precision of a regular person. Trumpet swore he saw Geten's stats rise up a little as he gained experience in being an ice cream vendor.
He swore again, but was stopped by Captain America bashing his face with his shield for swearing for no reason.
But that didn't stop Trumpet, as he swore again, this time for attention. Everyone there ignored him.
Geten handed four ice cream cones to the cat-themed heroes, very impressed that their chocolate ice cream is somehow fish-flavored before overpaying so much that Trumpet demanded a cut, to which Geten threw paper at him, giving him a paper cut.
The Iceman immediately pocketed his earnings for himself. This time he WILL bring home the bacon!
But he's not quick enough as Trumpet stole the bacon from him and pocketed it for himself without Geten knowing. This time he will NOT bring home the bacon. Maybe some other time, but not today!
"There goes my last fish…" said Re-Destro's voice from inside the cart as they began their trip again. "Stupid giant God hands stealing my fish… But no matter, SKEPSMAN! PREPARE TO DIE!"
"I SWEAR THIS'LL MAKE AN INCREDIBLE HEADLINE SOMEDAY! GOODBYE SKEPTIC!"
"Wait! You guys cant eat me! I'm a toxic person! I say my opinions on the internet without being scared of offending people! I'm a man of free speech!"
There were sounds of both Curious and Re-Destro gasping, with the CEO bashing Curious over the head with a wooden plank because her name got said first.
"Hmmm… Skepsman's right… he IS toxic…"
"See Boss? Eat me and you'll be sick for a week! I vote we eat Curious, boss!"
"Why Curious, Skepsman?"
"Because Hawks won't shut up about her being delicious! It's about time we test it out!"
There were sounds of an axe being brandished.
"Wait wait wait wait! You guys can't just eat me like that?! Think about the adventures we've been through! Am I not an important member of the MLA?"
"Don't like to be the receiving end of EAT threats not huh, Curious?! Hey Boss! What do you think?"
"Curious, Hawks says you're delicious. Is that true?"
"NO I AM NOT! I AM NOT DELICIOUS! WHY ARE YOU GUYS HOLDING UP YOUR AXES?!"
"Boss, I'm just skin and bones at this point. Curious is way fleshier. We eat her, right?"
"I suppose Skepsman's right! Curious, I vote you to be killed and eaten!"
"You can't just-"
The sounds of Curious's blood-curdling screams filled the nearby woodland as the sounds of axes being brought down into flesh repeated itself over and over and over until her cries for help are no more.
After a short while, there were new sounds of a fire being made and flesh being skewered.
"Skepsman! Hawks is right! Curious is delicious!"
"Told ya boss…"
Trumpet rolled his eyes while Geten took his sweet time maneuvering about the trees remembering all those times when he was a kid and he wasn't allowed to ride go-karts…
wait a minute… wait a freakin' minute…
"Trumpet! I can't remember my childhood!" Geten screamed out, holding his head causing the cart to lose control but Trumpet just kept on pushing because an out-of-control ice cream cart going up a mountain is pretty epic.
"MIYASHITA! The nerve of you to come in your pirate ship and steal Curious's remains! That will feed us for weeks!"
"I'm sorry boss, but the life of pillagin' an' plunderin's way better than being a corporate-"
"Miya-SHIT-a! Stop stealing our loot!"
There were sounds of swords being unsheated. "Then this means war!"
Meanwhile, Geten was still panicking while Trumpet is pushing the cart like a madman – because they called him a madman.
"Trumpet! Why is this happening?!" Geten swiveled the cart around, making an awesome drift as they fell onto the road that leads to the top of the mountain. The insane quality of the tires of the cart supporting the impact as they slid on the road making passersby go out of their cars to take a video of them.
Trumpet climbed onto the back of the cart to balance out their center of gravity as they spun up towards the higher levels before going down again and pushing the cart with maximum force.
This time, Geten forgot why he's even panicking in the first place and became one with the ice cream cart, channeling his inner clown within this little clown world as he grabbed hold of the handlebars and turned hard right before going left, making the cart skidding along the stretch of road as the smell of burning rubber filled the air.
They swore some music played about but they were wrong as an entire drift race happened alongside them, followed closely by the military trying to gun them down, as well as some space ships being closely followed by space whales. But the cars were just that invulnerable to gunfire because they have the power of Family at their side.
Both thought about the League's plot armor for a while. Are the Family car guys such good drifters that they got rewarded by being invulnerable to the plot?
Trumpet shrugged it off and aligned the cart up an undefended hillside. It was undefended in the same vein at there's nothing that can stop the ice cream express as he charged himself up and pushed the little cart as hard as he could.
They launched briefly into the air with a spectacular airtime of just 6 seconds, before Geten freezing off from such sheer coolness brought about by their little stunt. There were sounds of an epic battleship battle going on inside the cart but what matters is they got qualified for the Olympic Ice Cream Cart Pushing category.
And everything turned to normal once again. It's normal because it's not abnormal – simple as that.
There was nothing to hug Geten as he sat there completely frozen, allowing Trumpet to pickpocket off some frozen coins for himself because he's a corrupt politician. He stopped the cart in a patch of sunshine making sure he doesn't run over some cats warming up because if he did, then he's beyond irredeemable and get thrown to hell – seven levels down.
Slowly, but not so surely, Geten thawed a bit. But at the same time, Re-Destro's head popped out from the top open-able portion of the cart, all hot and sweaty. "What the hell?" he said, glaring at Trumpet with the power of two people – the other one being his nose.
"I was just thawing out Geten, sir."
"You don't get to thaw Geten! Move on! Any longer would be-"
"Boss! Get in! The ark wouldn't make it!" said Skeptic from inside the cart, along with the sounds of wooden beams clashing into each other.
"Skeptic! Leave him be!" Curious yelled. "The flood is getting worse!"
"I will not leave the Supreme Leader, Curious! Did you just admit you want to get rid of him!"
"No! It's just common sense!
"Traitor!"
There were sounds of water splashing and Curious yelling over and over for Skeptic to save her and put her back to the ark. But there was no answer as the rumble of thunder became louder and louder, the torrent of rain unrelenting, until once again, Curious's cries for help became weaker and weaker until they were heard no more.
"Move it, Trumpet!" Re-Destro yelled. "Get us out of the heat! This is an ice cream cart not a sauna!"
Trumpet let out a politician-like scoff, very distinct from a CEO scoff, before strolling out of the patch of sunshine just as Geten finished thawing.
"Get in your costume dangit!" Re-Destro yelled once more before retreating back into the cart and closing the lid. "Oh my God! Where's Curious?!"
Trumpet just shrugged it off as Geten gave him one of his coats (he has his coats now for some reason) as a symbol of brotherhood, meaning they're homies now and are allowed to kiss each other goodnight when night falls. It was such a symbolic gesture that somewhere in Japan, Selkie shed a tear.
They made their way through the forest once more, minding the small rocks, twists and crannies, as well as the small road where bugs and animals are crossing, and then there's that random person that's been walking around aimlessly because he got told to take a hike.
They came across a clearing in the forest. There was a small house with seven dwarves singing and dancing about nearby that they just felt the need to get in and ransack the place – goods, furniture, foodstuff, princess, and all. The dwarves can't do a thing about it so they just sang a sad song.
Meanwhile, the princess sang her song to summon an airborne assault of numerous pigeons onto Geten and Trumpet to fend them off. It was no ordinary princess, it was Koji Koda!
Running back to the cart before being swarmed with Nazguls, they went on their merry way, back to their original plan.
Onto the League of Villains!