"This is bad! This is bad! This is bad!" Skeptic yelled three times because if it was only two, Re-Destro would think it was Twice who said it. He frantically clacked his fingers on his laptop as well, not because he was trying to get MLA reinforcements, but because he felt like a Fast and the Furious character, and there's nothing more indicative of an FanF character than clacking fingers on a keyboard.
Meanwhile Re-Destro headed straight to his comrades on the road, picking up Curious currently blabbering about how Geten just hit her with an ice fist. The CEO was not mad one bit, and maybe all it really takes to fix the woman's ugly face is a physical makeover.
He picked up Geten and Trumpet as well and slammed them on his back. And now the gang is complete! He took a double check if Miyashita is there again, good thing he's part of the hero horde down there and not on his back.
"What's going on here?!" Curios yelled out as someone misspelled his name as well as misgender her.
"We called for hero back-up to defeat the LoV and made them pissed!" Skeptic clacked onto his keyboard in such a rhythmic manner that he created awesome music, not to mention he's clacking onto a real keyboard and not his laptop's keyboard.
"The heroes didn't like that we fought against the League of Villains! Said something about them being protected because of how weak they are! And now they're coming to get us!"
"So my stupid articles are real?!" Curious didn't yell out this time as her Liberation codename is now spelled correctly. It gave a piece of mind before getting mad again because something is misspelled again. "About heroes making them a protected class so they can farm their activities?!"
"Yep! It was nuts!" Skeptic responded and took a quick glance at the army of heroes going after them. Before they left, they made sure to clog all of Gran Torino's jet boots with cork for safety measures. How did they manage to shove in the corks? Easy! They invited the old man in a game of hopscotch and quickly planted corks on his path before taking off to a mad dash down the mountain.
"The League of Villains is not only protected by the Plot, but even the heroes!" Re-Destro said out loud but not yelled because that would be un-CEO-like.
"No wonder no one could get them!" Curious responded. "And to think they're the supposed most-wanted in all of Japan!"
"CURIOUS! STOP BOUNCING AROUND! GODDAMIT!" Skeptic finally got sick of their token woman's incessant jiggling that he actually snapped. And by snapped he meant he snapped his fingers for more emphasis. "YOU'RE MAKING ME PUKE!"
Meanwhile, Trumpet and Geten just quietly sat about. There's no sense talking when all three of their other members are here, or else they'll just going to get ignored. They looked at each other and remembered where the heck is the missing brain.
"I'm holding onto them! What the hell are you talking about?!" Curious spat back at Skeptic, who just puked behind them, creating a leather-burning acidic trail that blocked off a majority of the heroes.
"YOU'RE STILL JIGGLING! AAAARGGGHH!" Skeptic yelled at the heroes pursuing them across the glorious streets of Deika City, scaring off the nearest heroes as he sounded like a menstruating turkey.
"Fine! Fine! Fine! I'm laying down-"
"YYAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHH!" Re-Destro himself jumped high into the air as he felt their token female member press up on his back. He did a backflip, he did a front flip, he did a side flip, and he did a series of coordinated flips with the current world champion Former Doctor Kyudai Garaki, and his Nomu wife. "CURIOUS! GET OFF MY BACK! AAAARRRGH!"
Trumpet facepalmed, not because of the absurd amount of random BS happening about, but because a fly just went up to his face with a death wish. He successfully caught the offending arthropod and spread his arms, allowing their entire ride to glide – or he thought he was gliding because Re-Destro spun around too much that he's actually generating propulsion.
All five landed straight into the ice cream cart. There's still the Curious-shaped hole in it, but as long as they huddle up on the sides, no one will notice they're even there – thanks to Skeptic's hero-repulsing techniques.
"Alright guys! We've found out their secrets! Skepsman! Curious! I want you two to kiss!"
All MLA members turned to see who it was, and it was a shipper. They kicked her out of the ice cream cart for good.
"Alright guys! We've found out their secrets! Skepsman! Curious! I want you two to kiss!" This time it was Re-Destro. "Kill them with cringe!"
"Heck no, Boss!" Skeptic protested.
"What the hell, Re-Destro?!" Curious added.
"It's a good plan! I think it could even pass off as genius!" Re-Destro said with an evil grin. "Think about all the bodies-"
Skeptic bashed his Boss's head with his heavy duty RTX Gaming Laptop, putting him back to normal. "Curious already has a boyfriend."
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Well you better get your cougar game on because you're not getting any younger!" Skeptic turned to his Boss. "Hey Boss! They're coming!"
"Ready for Plan B, ladies and gentlemen!"
Meanwhile outside…
A group of minor hero characters, characterized by their very little canon screentime, huddled outside the ice cream cart with a Curious's shaped hole at the front. And since they're minor characters, a vast majority of them couldn't even speak.
"Hey guys!" Kamui Woods called out. "Who here can speak?"
In their little encounter at the mountain, only he, Gran Torino, and that one Ragdoll are the only heroes there that can speak. Everyone there stayed silent. So silent in fact that Villain!Deku already came in and assassinated over a half of them and no one even noticed.
So far, none of them can speak, forcing Kamui Woods to just bash the ice cream cart open, revealing the MLA team… or are they?
There was Re-Destro… or is it Re-Destro…? It was a tall muscular man with a very pointy and majestic banana-like nose holding up a spear and dressed up as Tarzan from the hit movie Tarzan based on the popular book Tarzan which spawned an animated spinoff titled Tarzan.
To his left. Is it Skeptic? But it looks like a huge mascot of a porcupine. He vehemently denied any accusations that his costume resembled a hedgehog. There were some heroes that said it was an echidna. But everyone agreed it's a pufferfish.
To his right, it is Curious – the token female? It looked to be just like her but her iconic salmon jacket is facing backwards, covering her entire front when everyone knew she can't even zip it up.
And then there was Geten, but it doesn't look like him for it was just a giant golden egg.
And then there was Trumpet. It was obviously him except that he's wearing a wooden block across his chest that says 'Vote me!'
The person they threw out earlier, the shipper in the name of Issho Kankei, approached Kamui Woods and pointed at both Curious and Skeptic – still inside their costumes. "That there's Curious and Skeptic," she said.
"Are you sure?"
"You can tell because of how perfect they are to each other!"
Kamui Woods crossed his wooden arms. "Is that so? Explain."
"As you can see they're the only two there with any sort of personality! That's why I can see through their stupid disguises!"
Meanwhile, Re-Destro is stifling a laugh that this stupid shipper is actually thinking his best buddy and the ugly woman are destined to be each other, and mad at the same time she's not talking about him.
Kamui Woods's attention turned to the skies for a bit, and back to Kankei. "Well that does make sense. Out of the five members, only two have any personality to speak of…"
"Yep! That means they belong together-" Issho didn't even finish when Skeptic puked out a whole tribe of pygmies that then started looking at him weird. Re-Destro remembered the entire event back then, those pygmies are quite friendly. But before he could start any ideas, he morphed up his arms, grabbed his buddies, and jumped off of the site as heroes are discussing about characters to ship.
"Oh god that's awful!" Curious yelled as they approached the Stratosphere, seeing a bunch of UFO's observing the commotion of humans below.
"Ya got that right…" Skeptic agreed.
"Why am I, the real leader over here, don't have enough personality?! What the hell?!" Re-Destro yelled in the middle of them. His buddies were about to respond when the entire team landed on some bushes.
After regaining their bearings, and by bearings they literally stole some bearings from some other recovering person nearby, they set off to the nearest balloon cart, stole some balloons because they're villains and villains don't pay, and flew off into the morning skyline – landing in the nearest birthday party.
The children were delighted, but are not quite pleased that it was not Pennywise that visited them, but a group of Quarterdumbs, and one ugly lady.
"Do you want to know where I got these scars-"
Skeptic bashed Re-Destro in the head for uttering wrong lines from the wrong clown. In response, the mighty CEO kicked him in the nuts – and by nuts he meant the pack of peanuts he was holding on to for the sake of the joke, making the long-haired idiot mad and started speaking in Minionese, which made the children proud.
Meanwhile, Trumpet and Geten are still wondering what the heck happened to Curious's brain.
Curious, on the other, is handing out kid-friendly MLA books (It was kid-friendly because it has 20% less violence and no scenes of the main character gushing about his majestic nose. But the main thing about this edition is that all the AllforOneXNanaShimura smut is entirely removed).
While Skeptic kept on blabbering about bananas and the color yellow, the rest of the MLA elites sneaked out onto the picket fence surrounding the yard and leaned upon it.
"So to wrap this up…" Re-Destro pulled out pink lipstick from his pocket and started drawing haphazardly across his face in an effort to try and recreate his Joker persona – but deliberately not finishing the full set or else Batman will definitely go after him. "The League is backed up by heroes as well as having an absurd amount of Plot Armor. Any ideas what to do?"
"I say we push onwards," Curious said as she nodded. "Trumpet and Geten said they saved me from the Plot you and Skeptic are blabbering about killing me."
"We blabbered about the Plot killing you, when?!"
"Forget it, the Plot may just have been influencing you, so don't think too much about it. But anyways, if I made it alive, then there should be ways on countering their stupid Plot Armor!"
Re-Destro nodded as well, making sure he kept nodding so he could assert dominance over Curious's half-assed attempt at nodding. "Correct, first we need the trust of the people-"
"Umm… Re-Destro, sir?" Geten ejaculated loudly. But no one laughed about it because it's an iconic Harry Potter reference, and not because he's been playing with himself lately. "We forgot Curious's brain-"
Without even questioning the thought, Re-Destro plucked out a nearby security camera, opened up the back, and took out a notebook. Within it are pages filled with just singular pictures taking up the entire thing.
It was a flipbook, the new and advanced modern-day way of keeping up with the Kardashians… and monitoring areas of course.
Re-Destro flipped the flipbook until Doctor Kyudai Garaki and his Nomu wife popped out of it and ran off before they could question it. He flipped some more (Re-Destro himself, not the flipbook), until he saw something bright pink in one of the footages. They may have travelled some miles off of Deika City, but since MHA cameras are so poorly-made (allowing Villain!Deku to take advantage of them), they're still connected to one mainframe.
The CEO plucked out the brain from the flipbook and handed it over to Curious, who got horny at the sight of her own brain, not because it reminded her of a certain someone, but because the readers might get mad if they saw Curious not being horny when getting curious about something.
"Alright, this will be our agenda for today…" Re-Destro sat down on the road, enjoying the feeling of warmth crawling up his butt. "First we go to get that brain back to where it belongs, then we get to Shoowaysha to get things published, back to Detnerat for me to get my weekly 'Piss-Off-Miyashita' and then we try off some things we haven't tried."
Everyone nodded off and turned their attention to the rising sun, the light sunrays highlighting their unique respective features, a gust of wind blowing onto them creating an awesome cinematic effect with their clothes and hair befitting of an end of an era, or in this case, the ending of Act 1…
Hopefully this time, they defeat the League of Villains once and for all-
"What now?" Curious asked as she held her own supposed brain in her hands, turning her face to either side seeing all the crew still in their respective cinematic pose, except Skeptic, who's still speaking in Minionese in the birthday party.
"Now… we ride!" Re-Destro placed a hand onto her shoulder and gestured up ahead, arcing his hand ever so slowly to get the point across, if there's ever a point he's trying to get across in the first place. "Off to get your brain back to your f***ing head!"
Right after he said that, a legion of parents (but mostly single moms like that MILF Inko Midoriya) swarmed onto him, some of them are holding onto egg beaters, while some are strong and independent (Re-Destro instantly knew because they won't stop talking about it).
"I was saying funking! No biggie!" Re-Destro said as he gestured towards the kids in the birthday party, all playing GTA 5. "See? They're so innocent that they didn't even know what I said!"
All the parents that surrounded him disappeared after that, knowing full well the kids are safe from fowl language (they tend to hang around too much with chickens).
"Phew! Alright guys! Lessss go!" Re-Destro surged forward, descending into the road like an absolute madman and surfing using the stored kinetic power currently stored by the soles of his feet. How is he doing this? I will tell you the answer when Science and Religion finally agreed to work together. "To me!"
Skeptic finally arrived, now dressed up as a literal Minion (Megamind's Minion to fool any unsuspecting suspecters) walked up to them and noticed Re-Destro road-surfing away from them. "Where are we going?"
"Get my brain back," Curious responded with a blank expression, showing her supposed brain. On one side it's tagged as 50% evil and on the other is 50% ugly, like the stuff she's made of. "And then back to blah blah blah blah blah…"
"Hmmm… Shoowaysha and Miyashita and try some things out… Sounds good to me!" Skeptic figured it out because like, Re-Destro, he's also a master in deciphering BS.
"Did the Boss say anything about fetching us?" Skeptic asked, taking off his helmet and letting water splash out, narrowly avoiding Curious because it would be a horrific sight to see her with the wet look. "Anything?"
Curious shook her head, placed her supposed brain gently beside her left shoe, which it protested and went to her right like a darn spoiled brat, and pulled out her phone. "I dunno about you guys, but I'm going to get my head patched up on my own. See ya later at Shoowaysha I guess?"
A few moments later, a huge monster truck appeared with a blue and orange color scheme.
"By the way, thanks for the save guys," Curious did one last Liberation salute to them, but it was the old Liberation salute and not the new one which caused Re-Destro to come back and stamp her forehead with 'Loser' not because she didn't follow the rule, but because he always wanted to try his new stamp and he just got the perfect opportunity for it. He then went off into the sunrise in an epic representation of I-Don't-Give-A-F***, like that new ice cream flavor.
Stamped, Curious rolled her eyes and got up the back seat of the truck. The driver, looking like a tofu delivery man fluent in the language of drifting, gave the MLA crew one last thumbs up before riding off. As they were about to go past 8 meters, a man in an ice cream peddler suit jumped in and successfully turned himself into a human speedbump, beating Trumpet's record.
Over the next seconds are frantic screamings of Curious from inside her monster truck reciting words ranging from A to Z and shoving profanities within them as she complained that the monster truck just made her jiggle even more.
"Well that's nice of you to stay back with ol' Skepsman eh mateys?" Skeptic turned to the other two. "Too bad as long as I'm here you two can't get any speaking roles!"
Trumpet and Geten looked at each other and shrugged before turning their attention to Skeptic, who now thinks he's the second coming of God, prompting Manga Fukidashi – God of MHA, to smite him down.
"Off to the next adventure!" Skeptic said, still burning with hatred for the Gods, literally.
-THE END-
Author's Note:
This is the final chapter, I will not be finishing this fic anymore.