Blueeyeddevil06, thank you for being my beta!
Darien smiled when he arrived in the past at his apartment in the early hours of the morning. He wanted time to check and make sure he had found the correct date. He found his laptop, and sure enough, he'd arrived one month before her death. Perfect.
What he didn't want was her to quietly suffer through her dreams. He wanted this timeline's Mamoru to be there for her —comfort her.
Then he had a dark thought that was tempting now that he was in a timeline where Usako was still alive. He could kill off this timeline's Mamoru and get to live a blessed life with her —after suffering for so long.
He quickly set that aside. If he did this right, he'd never have to live without her —that was a glorious thought. He wouldn't ever have to go through the living hell he was currently in. He wouldn't have to remember suffering the loss of her or holding her while she died.
He waited on the couch. He was ready for past-Mamoru to come out and see him. He liked the idea of shocking himself. He thought his past self, now the current him, needed to be shaken up more than a little bit.
As he waited, he let himself truly hope for the first time. He could have love, not just any love, but the love of Usagi. The one who he adored not for what she could be for him, but how she loved. She was magnificent. And somewhere right now she was sleeping, and probably having a nightmare of her death. That saddened him, but at least she was alive. And he would do everything in his, now considerable power, to keep it that way.
He pulled the note she'd sent to the other Senshi out of his pocket, it was frayed from repeated reading. He held it gently, and placed it face down on the coffee table. He'd have himself read the note. He knew he wouldn't believe she could love him otherwise. He knew he didn't feel worthy of her. He still didn't.
When his past self walked out into the living room, the look of shock on his face was comical. "What went wrong?" He said in a pleading tone.
"How do you know something happened?"
"I'm staring at a version of myself from who knows when and you look like hell. I'm pretty smart and I can put two and two together."
"She's dead. We need to change my past and your future."
Mamoru sat down and ran his fingers agitatedly through his hair. "Usagi can't be dead."
"How….?" He began to ask. "Never mind, who else could it be? Yes, in a month's time you're going to watch her bleed out, choking on her own blood. Know what her big worry was at the time? What Usagi had asked me when she lay dying?"
"What?"
"She wanted to know if she was being brave!" He choked back a sob.
"How? Who killed her?"
"A youma."
Current Mamoru looked shocked, "How? How did she get involved in the battle?"
"She's Sailor Moon. I found out while she lay dying on the street."
"Tell me you have a plan."
"I have a whole lot of plans. One is that you will start dating her now."
"But no way could she -"
"Read the fucking letter." He then handed it over. "That… it was delivered to her senshi the day after she died, and that was when I found out."
He remembered it all so vividly.
He stood off to the side as the four girls were huddled together, weeping on Rei's bed. The letter from Usagi was clasped unopened in his hands. "I'll read it out loud," he said. "But then I'm gone. I… I can't handle being around people right now." He didn't know how to cling to others for comfort like they did. He knew how to be alone, and he would do just that.
"Thank you," Minako said, wiping tears from her eyes.
"Dear Friends," he started. "I know what my fate is/was. I've lived with it for weeks now, and I know I'm headed towards death." Mamoru choked back a sob. She knew! "–that I am dead. I have accepted it. Please don't pity me."
He closed his eyes as tears poured down his face. "She knew!" He heard the girls crying, and he didn't care. He still felt alone in his grief.
He continued to read, and then he got to the part that ripped his heart apart even more. She loved him and didn't know he returned her love, and she died believing he didn't return her feelings.
He almost lost it when he read that she wanted red roses at her funeral. Safe? How the hell could she claim they made her safe when he failed her?!
When he finished the letter, Minako was weeping louder than the rest. "She didn't know," she screamed. "I didn't tell her! She should have let us four die! She's the moon princess we've been looking for."
At that moment, he hated her. "If you told her, she wouldn't be dead!" He folded the letter —the last thing she'd written, and put it in his pocket. He wouldn't let anyone else have it. It was a talisman of her and her love for him. He wouldn't let it go. The princess choked to death on her own blood in his arms in the street!
He then turned and walked out the door.
When his current self finished reading the letter, he watched his hand shake. "You read that the day after she died?"
"Yes. I read that after she bled out in my arms. She never knew I was Tuxedo Kamen, and as far as she knew, she didn't die in the arms of the man she loved."
"How long has it been?"
"Two years, seven months, two weeks, and four days; I could tell you down to the minute if you need to know."
"What do we do?"
"Save her—there is no other option. There's more you need to know. She's the princess you dream of each night. I didn't find out until that day when I read the letter. Sailor Venus knows the truth about her, about us."
"Us?"
"She's Princess Serenity, epic love of Prince Endymion, our first incarnation. Our past before we were six isn't the one you need to remember. It's thousands of years ago when we met her and fell in love."
"I'm an ass to her."
"You read the letter. She likes bantering with us. Just start being honest with her. You don't have to hide your heart. Trust her. She's not mad at us."
"But…"
He surged forward and pulled his current self out of his seat by the collar and screamed in his face. "Usagi's dead! I've lived with that for way too long. Get over yourself! You better be dating her by the end of the day, or I'm going to kill you and take over your fucking life. You don't know what I've lived through. You have no idea the hell my life has been!" He then shook him and shoved him down roughly.