Blaming a dream

We never talked. I don't think we even knew about each other, or something like that.

To think about Asuka brings me a lot of overwhelming feelings. She always feels so distant, absent, because she is always upset. Why she's always upset in my head? Is that even normal? I dont know.

Every day i see her in class, but it is easy to forget about her when im not around. I guess it is because Kensuke and Toji keep talking to me. And i always pay attention to them, because in the same way, they do it too; but when they do that, i feel forced to pay attention again. And that's where i never know when to stop.

But despite the circumstances, i don't ignore her either. It's part of that circle in which we all live together every day, and at any time of the morning.

If she misses class, i know. If she doesn't, i know it too. It's simple.

However, i don't notice her the way someone should normally notice people, nor do i ignore her, as supposedly, they say it works. We are simply classmates who sometimes agree and sometimes disagree, who discern each other's opinions without knowing it, and without taking it into account.

It's impossible to get used to us because, it's also impossible to think that we could ever get along. Although, in reality, we never do. It's just imposible

And it was always impossible to think that Asuka would die in my dreams, as well as to think that I would ever dream of her.

But every time I think of her frightened face, falling in front of me, and turning her back to the concrete floor, I can't help but feel guilty.

Her pair of blue eyes are still staring at me in terror as they become invisible as she falls to the ground.

She waves her arms, begs me with her eyes to catch her, and I can't move; I can't do anything but watch her countenance light up, and she looks like a flame as she falls into the void, waving her reddish hair like the tails of a comet, and evaporates until she reaches the home stretch.

And she didn't even scream. She just waved in disbelief.

I don't think I ever gave her time to scream.

At least, in the real world, I can tell her that.…

¡IMPORTANT NOTICE! READ BEFORE PASSING THE CHAPTER.

Hello, hi, welcome to... This plaaaaace¿

I come with something new, and yes, it's anime. I'm watching Neon Genesis Evangelion, and I really can't believe how complex the characters in the series are, and how much I love each of them despite their flaws (?).

Before reading everything I'm going to write here, I want to be clear on a few important points, as this fandom is, in its entirety, new to me, and I dont want anyone to come at me hahaha.

1. The fic will be written in the form of notes, and chapters that will be consequential.

I have to be honest about something, and that is that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing but I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. The notes will be written by Shinji Ikari and will be sent to Asuka Langley Soryu. The reason why I have decided to do it from notes is simple: I am a damn procrastinator and also an unstable, young woman who is unable to maintain a healthy pace of life :^)

2. Yes, this fic contains material Asuka x Shinji (AsuShin)

I like the way these two work, I really do. I don't know. Fuck, I'd like to protect them all, god dammit.

3. This fanfic is NOT to be taken seriously.

The things I put into this fic are NOT following the canonical Evangelion pattern. This means that this is an Alternate Universe where Shinji and Asuka do NOT know each other except at school.

4. The characters.

This Shinji and this Asuka will be, MAYBE a little different from those seen in the anime.

5. I'm really nervous (?)

As time goes by, I will add more details to take into account.

Without further ado, chokrato bids farewell

Translator's Note: I think it's obvious, but English is not my first language. So if there's any kind of spelling, narrative or whatever mistake, feel free to tell me and I'll try to correct it.

see you later.