I'm not here
The heat has been intense these days, and it has rained a lot.
I've noticed something: When the sky disperses a little, and the clouds open up like a stretched chewing gum... There is a very nice blue color up there.
As if they were brushstrokes, the white, gray and violet clouds open up to give way to a lovely blue that turns into a precious orange with the first stars.
Never too far from me, never too close to me.
I think I'm finally feeling better about leaving that final letter to Asuka.
Having said goodbye to her, and telling her that I am nobody, nor is she to me is really comforting in a way.
There was a shock-like reaction, but nothing more. We are human, it always happens.
Although if I were to be honest with myself, while jumping puddles with one foot, I have nothing to hide in front of me regarding what ever happened.
Because yes, I did. So what? I made a mistake, or maybe it was the best decision of my life. I can doubt it whenever I want, and rest assured even over that doubt that everything will be okay after the summer is over.
The best thing to do was to act like it wasn't there. Talk to the others and forget about a bunch of crumpled pieces of paper with words on them.
I just need to get to know myself better and I'll be perfect; I know, because that's who I am.
Even if it's just a mirage of myself, the Shinji of dreams, and the Shinji of notes.
Even if I look at myself over a puddle, and I feel very different.
Even if I look at myself and feel that I am not here.
I am surprised that things have happened so fast. At least in this world time didn't stand still, so that's good.