3. Shattered
Zuko slowly opened his eyes and looked up. When he didn't see the familiar deep red drapery of his canopy he started before remembering that he was not back in his room in the Fire Nation Palace he was in his beach house in Hira'a with Katara. He looked across the expansive bed to see if she was still asleep, but somehow Katara had drifted towards him in the night and now she was snuggled up underneath him like a limpet. He could tell from the way her chest rose and fell that she was still asleep so he just lie there afraid to move in case he woke her up.
Katara told him she was a night owl so it came as no surprise that she was a late sleeper, or at least she was compared to him who always woke up before the sun rose. He hated sleeping in it made him feel as if he was starting out the day one step behind. The Fire Nation was a country full of early risers. They were a punctual, practical, and disciplined culture. Lying in bed and relaxing was not his milieu. The guilt and tension was building inside of him. He would have to wake her up soon because they had a busy day ahead of them and every minute they weren't being productive was a minute wasted.
Katara seemed oblivious to that fact. She made soft purring moans and snuggled closer to him. Zuko suddenly decided that it wouldn't kill either of them if Katara got to sleep in a little while longer, and besides he could hear the servants bustling around downstairs getting breakfast ready the smells would soon wake her up if nothing else did.
As he predicted when the smell of komodo sausage and scrambled eggs wafted upstairs Katara began to stir in bed a few moments later she opened her eyes and yawned.
"Good morning sleepy head." Zuko greeted.
Katara's eyes doubled in size and she shrank back from him. "Zuko! Uhh sorry I must have moved closer to you when I was sleeping. I'm kind of a heat hog because it's always so cold in the South Pole. I'm just naturally used to finding the warmest thing around me and in this case it's you."
"I don't mind." Zuko said huskily.
"I ah smell b-breakfast."
"That would be the servants."
"I'm still not used to that back at home my Gran gran and I did all the cooking."
"We should get going. All of the servants have been waiting to meet you. Once you become Fire Lady you'll be in charge of overseeing them."
"Me?"
"Well, yeah. I mean that's the way it's always been done. You'll come to be thankful for them eventually. I know my mom certainly was. Her duties as a Fire Lady kept her so busy she didn't have time for much else."
"Why do I get the feeling I've got a lot to live up to." Katara said.
"My mom was an amazing Fire Lady. The servants loved her. When she left it felt like someone had drained all of the life out of the palace. I don't think anyone ever recovered." Zuko touched his scar. It wasn't long after his mother had been banished that his father had given it to him. It was meant to teach him discipline and respect and punish him for lacking honor, but all it did was teach him to hate himself. He was only now learning that he was not the image that his father tried to literally burn him in.
"Zuko are you all right?" Katara asked and took his hand in hers.
There was something about the concern in Katara's voice and the soft imploring look in her eyes that made Zuko want to pour his heart out to her. The only other person he'd been able to do that to in his life was his uncle. Katara was his wife and if there were anyone else in the world he should have been able to spill his heart out too it was her, but he cared what she thought about him and what she thought about his country and didn't want to risk alienating her anymore than she already had been. In the typical fashion of a Fire Nation arranged marriage Katara, the outsider, was the one who was expected to make the most sacrifices.
"I'm fine, but we should start getting ready for the rest of the day. It's going to be a busy one."
"O.K., but if you ever need to talk I'm here to listen."
"You can have the bathroom first if you need it." Zuko offered. No matter how much he wanted to he just couldn't open up.
"Thanks." She squeezed his hand and disappeared into the bathroom. Moments later he could hear the water running and Katara singing loudly and off key.
He gave a dry chuckle and then sent out for a communication to Admiral Gee to send a report about the situation in the South Pole.
The servants were lined up and waiting for Zuko and Katara at the bottom of the stairs. Upon seeing them they all bowed simultaneously."Good morning Prince Zuko, Princess Katara."
Zuko went down the line and introduced her to all of the servants. From the majordomo to the scullions. They were only a small portion of the larger staff that was waiting for her back at the Fire Nation Palace.
"Good morning. It's nice to meet all of you." Katara said. It was intimidating having so many pairs of eyes all focusing on her. There were so many positions and names to remember. Once they got back to the Fire Nation she would be in charge of all of these people most of whom were significantly older than her. At sixteen years old she didn't feel qualified to oversee any of them. Back home she'd helped her Gran gran run their house and helped in the homes of others who needed her help, but all of that didn't compare to what she was now being asked to take on.
"Do you think it would be all right if I shadow you for the next few days to get a feel of how things are run around here?"
"I think that would be an excellent idea Princess Katara." Sana, the majordomo, said and bowed. "I usually begin the running of the household affairs at five in the morning."
Zuko turned to look at her and raised his eyebrow.
"What? I can get up that early."
An insufferable grin spread across Zuko's face as he measuredly crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"I can and I will!" She snapped. If there was one thing she hated it was for people to make up their mind that she couldn't do a task before they saw her attempt that task. She might not be happy about it but she could get up early in the morning. She'd done it often enough back in the South pole when the need had arisen.
"Let's go eat breakfast."
After breakfast was finished. Akane and Chiyo came over to help Katara get ready for the day.
"How was your marriage ceremony?" Chiyo asked.
"It was nice. Zuko surprised me by having a Water Tribe Chieftain there."
"That's so romantic. I always knew that Prince Zuko was romantic."
"He's thoughtful, but I don't know if I'd call him romantic."
"Look up please." Akane said and began applying mascara to Katara's eyes. "I don't know the Hira'a Grand Theater might bring that out in him. It's a very romantic place."
"You can take Akane's word for it because she's a makeup artist there."
"No wonder why you're so good at this." Katara said looking into the mirror at her face. Under Akane's skilled hand she looked like a work of art. "Do you work at the theater as well?" She asked Chiyo.
Chiyo shook her head. "I work at a salon that my mother owns. Ursa used to get her hair done there before she mysteriously disappeared from Hira'a then reappeared in Capital city as prince Ozai's bride.
"I wish I could have met Zuko's mother."
"She was beautiful." Chiyo said. "Probably the most beautiful woman in Hira'a maybe even the world."
Katara couldn't speak because Akane was painting lipstick on her lips, but she was all ears. Zuko hadn't told her much about his mother and she felt it was too early in their relationship to ask him any information about her that he didn't volunteer himself, but she was interested in what kind of woman that his mother had been.
"Before she left she was a member of the Hira'a acting troupe. If she hadn't of married Fire Lord Ozai she probably would have been a world famous actor by now. My mom used to go to her plays and she said that she was phenomenal. Every play that she was in always sold out. Her house is one of Hira'a's most popular tourist attractions. After that her parents have passed away they've turned it into a museum in her honor."
"I didn't know that." Katara said. "I'd love to visit the museum."
"If you have the time maybe you can go before you visit the theater or I could always take you on a tour later on." Akane said.
Katara nodded. "I would like that."
Akane and Chiyo were the closest things she had to friends in the Fire Nation, but she had to be careful because her status as Princess and future Fire Lady changed how she made friends. She would always have to be aware of her rank and make others aware of her rank in a way that she didn't have to back in the South Pole. When Akane finished with Katara's makeup Chiyo began working her hair into a chignon. She was going to miss the both of them when she was back at the Fire Nation Palace. She had ladies-in-waiting but none of them were her friends, and she was beginning to wonder if she would ever have true friends again.
"All finished!" Chiyo said.
"Thank you two so much." Katara said and hugged them both. "You're welcome to come visit me at the Fire Nation Palace anytime."
"Really?" Chiyo said and jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "I've never been to the palace before. What an honor. Thank you so much Princess Katara."
"I've only been once, but I was a little girl and I don't really remember it." Akane said. "Wait until I tell my mother. I swear she'll faint dead on the spot."
Katara had scarcely finished putting on her shoes and saying goodbye to Akane and Chiyo when the carriage to take them her and Zuko the mayor's house pulled up.
Zuko met her in the foyer and he automatically took her hand as the pair made their way out the front door. He was wearing white and gold dress robes that fit his athletic frame perfectly. Every time she saw him he seemed more handsome than the last and when they held hands she felt a crazy chemistry between the two of them. Though their backgrounds were so diffrent they shared so much in common that sometimes she felt like something stronger than an arranged marriage brought them together. It was almost as if the universe and the Spirits had conspired to make sure that their paths crossed. Almost as if they truly did belong to one another, but it was crazy to think that way it was only a defense mechanism of her guilty subconscious. Mutual need had brought her and Zuko together and nothing else.
Mayor Tomoko and her husband Daishi were waiting on the front porch of their mansion home for Zuko and Katara. Zuko had met mayor Tomoko a handful of times as a young boy. She'd always been nice to him but was more fond of his sister Azula. That had been a reoccurring theme during his childhood; people preferring Azula over him, but who wouldn't prefer a prodigy over a late bloomer.
"Good morning Prince Zuko, Princess Katara. Are you ready for your grand tour of Hira'a?"
"Yes, thank you." Katara replied. "I can't wait to see all that Hira'a has to offer."
The group of four made their way back to the carriage and the tour began. The sightseeing order was dictated by mayor Tomoko and her husband Daishi. Both of whom were perfectly cordial to Zuko but they treated Katara as if she were invisible. If she asked them a direct question they would give the answer to him as if Katara hadn't spoken at all. They rhapsodize on and on about the virtues of his father and his mother whom they deemed a proper Fire Lord and Lady.
Zuko tried to not let their idiotic prattling ruin the trip. He'd recently found out through a series of letters that he'd confiscated from his sister that this was the village where his mother had grown up. He'd visited her old neighborhood on the long shot that his mother might be there but she wasn't and her parents had already passed, but he still held out hope that he might find her one day.
The carriage turned into his mother's old neighborhood and Zuko smiled. He was eager to show Katara the house turned museum where his mother grew up, but he wondered if that would be in poor taste.
"Are we going to be making a stop by your mother's house?" Katara asked him. "I'd really like to see it."
"And really like to show it to you."
His mother's house was exactly the same as it was as the day it had first been built. Even the farm was still there and there was staff on hand to help raise the pig-chickens. Inside there were posters of his mother in the various plays that she had acted in on the walls. The costumes that she had worn were safely encased in glass. A long glass table showcased scripts where his mother had written notes in the ledger. Zuko studied her handwriting. It was neat just like his own handwriting. His mother had always had neat handwriting, but Zuko only developed the talent after being smacked on the hands with a ruler so many times he'd given his teacher carpal tunnel. After witnessing his bruised, bloody, and swollen hands one too many times his mom had taken over teaching him how to write. She always took the time to go over his writing lessons with him and if he got a character wrong she never hit his hands or yelled at him. She just went over it with him again until he got it right.
"Zuko your mother is beautiful."
"Thank you." He said as he stared up at a picture of his mother. It had been so long since he had seen her it almost felt like another lifetime. The last time he had seen her she was saying goodbye and he'd been half asleep when she said it and sometimes he was convinced that he'd dreamed the whole thing.
"We consider this museum to be the crown jewel of Hira'a." Tomoko said excitedly. "Ursa was a true Fire Lady from the Fire nation and had her ship not been attacked by snow pirates she would still be our Fire Lady."
"What?" Katara said and spun around to face Tomoko. "Snow what?"
Zuko put his hand on her arm and pulled her a safe distance away from the mayor, but he could practically see waves of steam rolling off of Katara.
"Forgive me if my wife and I come across as a bit sentimental, Daishi said, but coming to this neighborhood makes me realize how much I miss the era of your mother and father. It's sad to see the end of what was once such a prosperous reign."
"Yes." Tomoko agreed. "It's wholly disappointing to know that under the regent Fire Lord the crown is now kowtowing to diplomacy, and I wonder what Fire Lady Ursa would think if she were here to see what's happening to the monarchy."
Zuko looked over at Katara surreptitiously to see if she was as angry as he was. Her hands were resting at her side but they were balled up into fist and every now and then she would dig her fingernails into her palms.
"You don't know anything about my mother and you certainly don't know what you're talking about." Zuko said sharply. "My mother is missing because my father, Fire Lord Ozai, banished her, and Katara will be a proper Fire Lady as any we've had before. Perhaps even better because she brings a fresh perspective to the throne." He wanted to say more he wanted to say a lot more, but as the future Fire Lord he knew that he had to keep a somewhat civil tongue in his head.
Tomoko sniffed and cut her eyes at Katara."If his highness says so. It's not my place to go against the word of the monarchy." She made a face as if she'd just bitten into a dung spider-beetle.
"His highness does say so, and as your highness so do I. It seems you need reminding of my place since you don't seem to know your own." Katara said and stared Tomoko down until she withered on the spot.
"I apologize your grace." Tomoko said through gritted teeth.
"I am now both Water Tribe and Fire Nation whether you, your husband, or anyone else likes it or not. I'm going to be a hands on Water Tribe Fire Lady whether you like it or not. I'm going to be involved in politics whether you like it or not, and as the first Water Tribe Fire Lady I have a chance and a duty to my people and the rest of the world to make sure this country's past never repeats itself. I won't let anyone intimidate me and I won't suffer or tolerate apologist or bigots."
"I never-." Tomoko began but Katara interrupted her.
"Been called out on it before, well there's a first time for everything."
For the rest of the tour Tomoko and her husband were on their best behavior though Zuko knew it was from being thoroughly upbraided rather than out of any respect for Katara.
"Sorry about that Katara."
"You don't have to keep apologizing to me Zuko. You're not responsible for the actions of other people and you can't control how other people feel about me. I knew what I was getting into when I married you. I'm not a fragile little girl I can handle myself."
"I know that, but I'm your husband and I'm always going to protect."
Katara didn't say anything so Zuko didn't either but he wished he knew what she was thinking. He could never tell what she was thinking when she got quiet. Was she regretting the marriage? While he wished his marriage didn't have to be arranged he didn't regret it. He could have done a lot worse than Katara for a wife. Their cultures couldn't have been any more different, but despite that or maybe because of it he felt like Katara was someone he could fall in love with and he never thought of himself as capable of falling in love before now.
"You're going to love the Hira'a grand theater." Zuko said hoping to lighten the mood. "It's my favorite place on this whole island. My mother used to take us to see the Ember Island players butcher Love Amongst the Dragons back at the Royal Fire Nation Theater. The Hira'a acting troupe's theatrical productions is so much better than the Ember Island players. Hira'a's production of Love Amongst the Dragons had the right amount of pathos where as the Ember Island player's is purely bathos."
Katara laughed.
"What's so funny?" Zuko demanded.
"You are. I can't believe I married a theater nerd."
"I guess I am. My sister and I always used to act out the parts from Love Amongst the Dragons."
"You really like that play."
"I do when it's done right."
Katara gasped when she saw the Hira'a Grand Theater; she couldn't help it the theater was breathtaking. The noyane roof of the four story red and gold building was entirely made out of thousands upon thousands of seashells and trimmed with delicate golden scrollwork. Two huge jade and gold phoenix statues stood on either side of the entrance. They stood with their legs stretched and their wings spread as if they were about to take off into flight. The front doors were made of glass that were etched with two huge cherry blossoms and were trimmed in gold. The path leading up to the front doors were made from lava rocks which were deep red in color. The landscape had been turned into the most amazing rock garden with one of the biggest coy ponds that Katara had ever seen in her life.
"I knew you'd like it." Zuko said his eyes shining with pride. "It's the oldest theater in the Fire Nation. It was commissioned for the very first Fire Lord."
The inside of the theater was just as beautiful as the outside. The first thing she noticed was the fusuma paneling with the scenery of the sun coming up over a snow capped mountain range painted onto the paneling. The shōji doors and walls gave the theater a wide open airy feeling.
"Hello Prince Zuko it's so good to see you again." A stocky man with salt and pepper hair greeted him and then bowed. "Oh and you must be Princess Katara. I see that the luck of the Spirits were with you on this arranged marriage Prince Zuko."
"Hi Kaito."
"Ever given anymore thought to abdicating the throne and becoming an actor?"
"You know I can't do that Kaito."
"Fine just go ahead and break my heart. Well if I can't convince you to become an actor how about going on stage and doing a monologue from Love Amongst the Dragons.
"Yes!" Zuko exclaimed.
Kaito lead the way up to the stage and Zuko ran ahead of everyone and reached the stage before everyone else.
Katara smiled. It was nice to see him excited about something it was like an insight into who he really was aside from someone who was always trying to impress her. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate him trying to impress her, but she got the distinct feeling that Zuko felt like he had to do nice things for her or else she'd never grow to like him. If their marriage were to stand a chance then she needed to know who he truly was so that she could like him for who he was. That meant learning what he loved, hated, and feared.
Kaito and Zuko slid back the fusuma paneling to reveal the stage. Zuko ignored the steps and climbed up on to the stage then held his hand out and helped Katara up onto the stage. She turned and looked out towards the audience and was struck by how many seats filled the theater. She couldn't imagine preforming in front of a packed audience. Zuko's mom must have been some kind of actor to be able to fill all of these seats.
Two stage hands brought out the dragon emperor costume for Zuko to don. Once he put the costume on Katara noticed a change in his demeanor right away. He hadn't spoken a single word but she could already see him as the dragon emperor. He placed the mask over his face and began to speak drawing others out on to the stage to watch his performance.
"Dark water spirit! You shall rue the day you condemned the mighty dragon emperor to dwell among mortals! I may be flesh and blood now but I vow to you that I shall return to my former glory and when I do I will vanquish you to the Spirit void, for within me there still beats the heart of a dragon and though you have changed my form you can never change my spirit!"
The small crowd that had gather clapped for Zuko and he turned red under his mask.
"You didn't say there would be a audience Kaito." Zuko whispered harshly.
"I didn't know anyone was going to come out to watch you, but Prince Zuko you were amazing."
Katara would have to agree. Acting must run in the family.
"I don't care about that. Get me out of here now!"
Katara sighed and wished that Zuko would learn to relax.
"How about a nice cup of tea to calm you down. Kaito said. "You really seem like you could use one right about now." Kaito took them back to his onsite apartment and served them flowering tea.
"I hope you don't mind hibiscus your majesties. It was a favorite of Fire Lady Ursa's."
Zuko looked up from his cup of flowering tea. "I didn't know that."
"Oh yes. She always had a cup before going on stage. She said it worked wonders for protecting her voice. She was one of the best actors this theater ever saw. She had a kind of raw talent you don't see in many people, but I do see it in you Prince Zuko. You are truly your mother's son."
Zuko didn't say anything for the longest time. He just sat there with his tea cup half way up to his mouth. "Thank you."
"We were so happy for your mother when she became Fire Lady, Kaito said, but what a blow it was to this theater to lose her. Not just because she was the most talented actor I'd ever seen, but she was the heart and soul of this place. She was irreplaceable."
Zuko didn't say anything but Katara could relate to the pained look in his eyes. There was no hurt as great of that as losing your mother. The ache was a hole in your heart that could never be filled. When you lost your mother at a young age it felt like a part of you was always missing. You became trapped in an endless cycle of what if. She took Zuko's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. He looked up at her and smiled but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
As they left the theater Zuko took Katara's hand once again. She felt the same crazy chemistry but this time she also felt a real connection to Zuko through his pain. Her family and the South Pole had been on her mind every minute since she'd left causing her to fight any positive feeling for Zuko or the Fire Nation, but seeing Hira'a through Zuko's eyes helped her feel a little less displaced and a little less home sick and made the Fire Nation feel a little less like the land of her enemies and possibly a place that she could call home one day.
Hira'a elementary school was the next stop on their tour. As they entered the school the children began to sing the Fire Nation's national anthem My flame burns for thee.
Oh, Fire Lord
My flame burns for thee
And for the Fire Nation endlessly
May your flame always burn bright
To shine upon the world our might
Oh, Fire Lord
My flame burns for thee
And it burns for our noble ancestry
For you Fire Lord we shall bravely fight
And our nation and sun the world's guiding light
Oh, Fire Lord
We proudly exult thee
Truly forever and devotedly
Your will and command is our greatest desire
From the day we are born til the funeral pyre
Oh, Fire Lord
There was something creepy about hearing that anthem come out of the mouth of babes. Katara thought. They had no idea what the words they were singing even meant. This was a thought that she didn't share with Zuko. It would hardly help their relationship for her to trash his country's national anthem.
After the national anthem all of the children flocked to Katara like sheep, but Zuko noted that they seemed intimidated by his presence. He wasn't surprised by this his scar usually had that effect on children. So he stood back and watched Katara interacting with the students instead. She was good with them. She patiently answered all their questions about waterbending and the South pole. She admired their art work and played whatever silly games they wanted her to play with them. It reminded Zuko of the way his mother was with him. It was nice to know that she would make a good mother to their children one day even if that day was way off into the future.
"You're really good with children." He told her on the carriage ride home.
"I love kids. Back in the South Pole I took care of a lot of children. I even delivered babies." She said. "It was amazing to watch a baby you help bring into the world grow up into a child, though not all of them got a chance too. During the lean years when there was less and less food to come by a lot of children starved to death." A visible shiver passed through Katara. "Hearing children cry for food that our village didn't have to give them scarred me for life. The hardest thing I had to do after seeing my own mother die was to watch the children in my village suffer and die because there wasn't enough food or medicine to go around."
"That must have been awful. I'm sorry that you had to live through that."
"I was lucky. I survived." Katara said. " I really don't want to talk about that anymore. I want to know why Tomoko said that your mother's ship was attacked by snow pirates."
Zuko hung his head as a feeling of deep shame washed over him. He was hoping that Katara had forgotten all about that, but she was too damn observant and didn't miss a thing. "It was a rumor started by some of the Fire Nation council. They lead people to believe that pirate ships from the Southern Water Tribe attacked my mother's ship while she was on vacation to explain away her absence after my father banished her." He didn't want to see the expression on Katara's face, but he had to look. He had to face the reality of what his country did to her and her people. Her expression was indecipherable.
"I wonder if the Southern Water Tribe's suffering will ever end. All we've ever wanted to do was live our lives peacefully but every time I turn around it seems like there's someone out there who wants to exploit us for their own gain.."
"I know it doesn't count for much, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for everything that my family has ever done to cause yours pain. To make sure the Fire Nation's history never repeats it's self isn't just a duty that you have. It's a duty we both have." Zuko said. "In fact I think it's my duty more so than yours. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that everyone in the Fire Nation and around the world knows that the Southern Water Tribe wasn't responsible for my mother's disappearance."
Katara didn't say anything. Zuko took her hand in his and she turned to look up at him. "The Fire nation created an era of fear in the world, and if I don't want the world to destroy itself, I need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness. I promise you that my reign will be nothing like my grandfathers or my father's."
Katara managed a small sad smile. "You're not like your father at all."
"No. I'm not, but I could have been. Growing up I was taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history and somehow the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation! They don't see our greatness they hate us and we deserve it!"
Katara studied his face for a long time. She bowed her head down and played with her hands before speaking. "I hated you." She said softly. "I never thought of you as anything but the Fire Lord's son. I thought that spreading war and violence and hatred was in your blood, and I hated you so much for that."
"Oh. I see."
"I don't anymore, maybe I never did, but the wounds are still there and they're still raw."
"Of course they are. I know that it's going to take time to heal." The silence the rest of the carriage ride home was deafening. He couldn't even be upset that Katara had hated him at one point because just like the rest of the world he knew that he deserved that hate. She said that she didn't hate him anymore, but how could he be sure of that? If the shoe were on the other foot he'd probably hate her. Had all of this time she'd been nice to him been an act?
As the carriage pulled up to the beach house Zuko spotted a Fire Navy officer standing on the walkway. The communication from Admiral Gee must have arrived.
"Who is that?" Katara asked.
"He must be here with the report on the situation in the South."
When the carriage pulled to a stop the officer made his way over to them. "Prince Zuko, Princess Katara, I am Commander Matsumoto, he saluted, I am here to give you an official report handed down to me from Admiral Gee."
"Thank you commander." Zuko said and took the papers.
"What does it say?" Katara wanted to know.
"Why don't we wait until we get inside before we open the report."
Katara hurriedly followed Zuko into the house and took the report from him when he took too long for her liking to open it up. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the line heavy casualties on the side of the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe and as her eyes scanned the names listed as casualties one name jumped out at her as if it had been written in blood. Bato. Once again she was directly responsible for the demise of someone she had loved dearly. Bato had been like a second father to her and now because of her he was dead.
"Are you all right? What does it say?"
The report fell from her hands and fluttered to the floor and Katara followed behind it sinking to her knees and letting the racking sobs rip from her chest. She wasn't strong enough to endure the death of another member of her family, and Bato had been family. She fell all the way to the floor pressing her face into it while a deluge of tears that seem to have no end poured from her eyes. "Oh, Bato I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Bato."
Zuko helped her to her feet but she hardly noticed him there at her side. She couldn't feel anything around her the real world had no place in her heart right now. The world that she was living in had just shattered her into a billion pieces and scattered her soul like leaves in the wind. There was nothing real or solid that she could hold onto.
"Sit down." Zuko said. A second later she felt something wet touch her face and she realized that Zuko was washing away her tears with a wet cloth.
She pushed his hands away. She didn't want his comfort. She didn't want her tears to be wiped away she wanted to let them fall until there were enough of them to drown her in her own sorrow. She wanted to cry until there was nothing left of her but the empty shell of her body.
Never again would she see Bato or hear his voice. His smile had away of making even the most hardhearted person smile, but she would never see that smile again. Bato had always been there to talk to her about the things she couldn't talk to her father with. He had taken her brother ice dodging when their father couldn't. Bato was a good soul and now he was gone too soon from the world.
"Katara I'm so-."
"Don't say you're sorry. Don't say anything to me."
"I know you're hurting."
"You, you know I'm hurting? You don't know a damn thing about me Prince Zuko. Don't you dare to pretend that you know what I'm feeling. Don't sit there and act as if there's anything that you can do for me because you can't! You can't bring back my mother and you can't bring back Bato. The only thing you can do is make promises that you'll probably never keep."
She ran from the room. From Zuko from the whole entire farce of a marriage. She threw herself on the bed and cried even harder than she had in the kitchen. Her heart felt as if it were being torn still beating from her chest. Bato is dead. Bato is dead. Bato is dead. It was all that she could think about. She had to go back to the South Pole needed to go back to the South Pole to be with her family her real family. She took a deep breath drying up her tears and marched back into the kitchen.
Zuko was still there sitting in one of the kitchen chairs and reading the war report. When he saw her angry tear streaked face glaring down at him he didn't say a word.
"I'm going back to the South Pole." She informed him. "It you have a problem with that too bad."
"I'll go with you, he said, but we'll have to go back to the Fire Nation First."
"Why?"
"We'll need more supplies. The ship we took here isn't a battle ship and we'll need to let the Fire Navy know where we're headed, and because we can take one of the airships. It will be faster."
"Fine, whatever." She snapped. She went back into the bedroom and began rotely packing a bag. The report had not said how Bato had died and maybe it was better that she didn't know. She couldn't handle knowing that his death had been slow or agonizing but the odds were that it had.
While Katara was packing her bags Zuko sought out Commander Matsumoto and told him of his plans to visit the South Pole.
"Prince Zuko I have to advise against this course of action. "As prince of the Fire Nation and future Fire Lord it isn't prudent for you to risk your life or the life of the princess needlessly. Not to mention the lives of the crew that will have to fly you into the South Pole." The commander was clearly unhappy with the idea.
Zuko didn't care he owed Katara much and this was the least that he could do for her."My mind has already been made up. Set a course for the Fire Nation and then to the South Pole."
"This isn't a war ship it's a luxury liner that has the capabilities to maybe repel a small attack, but if we were to meet any heavy resistance we'd be sitting ducks."
That was a direct order commander. Don't make me give it to you again."
"Very well your highness I'll begin preparations at once."
"It's all set." He told Katara once he met with her back inside of the house. She was no longer crying but her eyes were still rimmed with tears. He wanted to console her but he knew that if he tried he would only face her wrath. Hopefully when she was ready she would let him in. In the meantime he just had to give her space.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to."
"I do want to come. I'm your husband and my place is by your side."
"My place is by my family's side. They need me right now and I need them." Silent tears streaked their way down her cheeks.
Zuko nodded. He hated to see her cry. He hated that another war had taken away someone else she loved. "I'll go pack now and then we can board the ship to the Fire Nation and once were there we'll fly directly to the South Pole." It wouldn't be long before his plans to go to the South Pole reached his uncles ears. After the marriage ceremony he'd gone back to the Fire Nation and Zuko was grateful if not he'd be getting an earful right now. All the yelling and lectures in the world weren't going to stop him however. He was going to make sure Katara got to the South Pole if it was the last thing he did.
In the light of the full moon Zuko and Katara boarded the ship and it began to sail back to the Fire Nation. Katara stood on the deck of the ship leaning on the railing and looking up at the stars as he had done so many times while he'd been on his own ship. A ship that had been his home away from home during his banishment.
The moonlight shone down upon Katara and as Zuko walked up closer behind her he could clearly see Katara bending a stream of water into a figure eight.
"Bato made the first sled that I ever owned." She said though she didn't turn to look at him as she was talking she continued to bend the water and look up at the stars. "It was blue and he painted a polar bear dog on it. I still have that sled even though I outgrew it a long time ago."
Zuko reached out to place his hand on her shoulder but then drew his arm back. She probably just needed to talk.
"He made the best five flavor soup even better than my Gran grans'. It always made her so mad. She was certain he was adding an extra ingredient and that it didn't count as five flavor soup."
For the next few hours Katara talked about Bato while Zuko stood there listening until his eyelids grew heavy and his head began to nod.
"You're tired you should go to bed."
"Are you sure? I don't mind staying up with you."
Katara nodded. "Yes. I'd rather be alone right now."
"All right if you're sure." He said and once again he reached out to touch her and once again he pulled his arm back. Time and space. He had to learn to give her time and space.
Zuko woke up to shouting. Lots and lots of frantic shouting.
"We've taken a massive hit amidships and we're taking on too much water!"
"Commander we've taken another massive hit to the hull!"
"We're listing!"
"I can plug the hole but the ice torpedoes keep coming!" Katara shouted. "There are too many waterbenders! I can't fight them all."
"We're doing what we can Princess, but this ship was not prepared for warfare." Commander Matsumoto replied. "I must ask that you make your way to the lifeboats."
Katara! Zuko ran topside as fast as he could. It wasn't easy with the ship leaning hard to starboard.
"What's going on?" Zuko shouted.
"We're under attack." Commander Matsumoto informed him. "I don't know how but the Northern Water Tribe found us. They know Katara's on deck and they're trying to commandeer this ship."
Zuko watched as Katara tried in vein to fight back against a flotilla of Water Tribe ships.
"Your highness we must get you and the princess to safety." Commander Matsumoto yelled. "Please get her to the lifeboats at once. The crew and I will hold off the Water Tribe as long as we can."
Zuko nodded and ran to the port side of the ship where Katara was fighting against the flotilla. A group of waterbenders on outriggers were making there way towards the ship. With a series of accurately aimed fire blast he was able to put one of the outriggers out of commission, but there were far too many for him to effectively stop them from boarding the ship if that was their intent.
Commander Matsumoto and the crew were doing their part to combat the Water Tribe flotilla but without proper weaponry they were at a distinct disadvantage.
"Katara we have to go there's no way we can stop an entire fleet." Zuko warned.
"I have to try!" Katara cried.
The northern waterbenders were now standing up in the outriggers and began bending up a huge wall of water.
"No! We have to get to the lifeboats!" As the wall of water rose higher and higher Zuko grabbed Katara by the wrist and began pulling her towards the lifeboats. Katara was a lot stronger than she looked and wouldn't be budged.
"I can't. This is all my fault. I can't just abandon the crew. I have to help them"
"And I have to get you to safety. The crew will be all right this is what they're trained for, and besides once they learn you're no longer on the ship the north will stop attacking."
"You don't understand they're going to form a tsunami and I'm the only one who can stop it."
Zuko took Katara's wrist once again and tried moving her but she didn't move an inch. When he looked down at her feet he saw why. She had locked herself in place by freezing her feet to the deck of the ship. Zuko shot a small fire blast and melted the ice away and bodily lifted Katara from the ground and slung her over his shoulder.
"Zuko what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? Put me down!"
"No! I'm your husband and I told you I would protect you, and I'm going to even if that means protecting you from yourself."
Katara fought him all the way to the lifeboats kicking and punching him on the back. He was wrestling her into the lifeboat when the wall of water came crashing down. Zuko didn't have time to yell before he was swept into the waters of the Mo Ce sea. Down, down, down he sank deeper and deeper into the water. Underneath the massive blue crush of sea he couldn't hear anything but the sound of water filling his ears. The cold was such a shock to his system that he gasped and breathed in a mouthful of water. Instinctively he began to swim his way towards the surface of the water. Once he surfaced he spit out the water and drew in a choking breath as he tread the waters looking around for his ship, but he'd been pulled far away from where he first went overboard and the current was pulling him farther and farther away.
"Katara!" He cried out, but his voice hoarse from swallowing sea water didn't carry very far. "Katara!" He couldn't see anything so he kept swimming but he was growing tired and colder with every passing second and he didn't know where the Northern Water Tribe was. If they found him they would probably kill him on the spot.
"Zuko!" He heard Katara cry faintly. "Zuko!" He swam toward the sound of her voice not knowing what he'd do if he didn't find her. The more time that passed the more it seemed it would be a real possibility. Either that or he would succumb to hypothermia and drown. Bending fire was impossible when he was surrounded by nothing but water. All he could do was keep swimming and hope that he would find Katara or she would find him before the Northern Water Tribe did.