Author's Note: This is basically me throwing shade on some fanfic tropes (including ones I've used in my fics before), mostly character-trait related ones only, like the caricatures that they're made into. I'm going to keep it to a minimum though. :D
This is all in good fun, and it's honestly so dumb lmao. I genuinely mean no offence but it's just me inserting humor into things we see frequently in the fandom.
That said, read on!
Today was a day of utmost importance. It was an occasion of celebration and triumph. It was a moment of joy and victory.
Today was the first anniversary of the end of the fourth shinobi world war.
Naturally, something huge must happen to commemorate this event. And that was something unconventional yet fun.
That something was a street play.
A street play with freshly minted genin actors.
A street play that was public.
"Come one, come all," The children had shouted the whole of last week, informing the citizens of Konoha about their plans to honour the war heroes. A play based on Naruto and Sasuke and their friends.
So this was the reason why the Uchiha and Uzumaki along with their band of friends were sitting on wooden chairs across an open ground of training area 22. The entirety of the ground's circumference was crowded with people, all eager to see the life stories of their beloved saviours.
"I am immensely grateful to be a part of this event and also act as an inspiration for these youthful genins in their little act!" Rock Lee, the ever enthusiastic ninja proclaimed.
Tenten winced at the loud voice, "Lee! Keep it down, will you? I need to have functional ears to listen to the dialogues."
Lee smiled sheepishly, "I shall keep my youthful energy to a minimum henceforth!" he whispered, exaggerating it in such a way that Sakura and Chouji couldn't help but snort.
"Y'all have so much energy," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, slumping into his chair. "I'd have preferred to take a nap right now. This shit is going to be loud and noisy, I can tell."
Naruto hit the Nara on the arm playfully, "Come on Shika! It's going to be fun. I even peeped at a few actors, they're cosplaying as us, imagine, us."
Sasuke groaned, "Uh. That's absolutely horrible. I don't even want to see what farce of a costume they're wearing for me."
Sakura and Ino chuckled together. "All black and blue, Sasuke. You're... edgy that way," Sakura said, while Ino patted the Uchiha's shoulder in mock-comfort.
"Ooops," Chouji muttered. "My chips are all over. What will I eat while watching the play now?"
"Don't worry! I've got you covered!" Kiba shouted running towards the huddled group and took a seat. He was carrying a huge sack and he unraveled it to show the abundance of snacks inside. Ramen, onigiri, dango along with bottles of water and juice were filled in the bag.
Chouji grinned, "You're the best Kiba!"
"Ah guys... the show is starting I think?" Hinata spoke up, drawing the attention of everyone to centre of the ground.
"This will be a disaster," Shino said, for once dread creeping into his monotonous voice.
Naruto shot him his signature sunny smile, "Be positive! I'm sure these kids have planned something amazing."
Just then a loud bang sounded through the area and a few genin in normal, boring shinobi wear entered the ground. Shikamaru guessed that they were the generic cast members, not anyone specific from amongst them.
They made a uniform file at the centre and then in perfect synchronization starting moving in the circle.
Then they started hopping.
Then they started running.
And then...the jingle started.
A boy shouted, "Konoha 12!"
The rest of the kids repeated, louder and with alot of energy, "Konoha 12!"
"Konoha 12!"
"Konoha 12!"
But a girl shrieked in horror. "You idiot!" She shouted at the boy who was promoting the yells. "It's Konoha 11!"
Hinata's eyes widened. They were mocking Neji. Neji's death. Such brats.
"Oh," The boy said. "Right," he laughed nervously. "My bad."
A person from the audience (who Tenten could bet was a part of the cast) called out, "Continue continue!"
The boy grinned and then placed his hands on his hips, "Jiggle Jiggle!" He yelled and the rest followed his lead, "Jiggle Jiggle!"
Ino had to bite her lip from not laughing aloud when the genin started shimmying, hands on their waists and eyebrows wiggling.
Naruto heard Sasuke murmur what in the flippity floppity flying fuck? beside him and had to muffle his laughter with a cough.
"Attention gaining strategy." Shino simply stated.
Kiba nodded as the kids continued their little shimmy routine, "Inuzuka festivals have street plays quite often. Hana used to train the kids in all absurd shit for the openings. They have to be loud and elaborate so the audience–"
"Datttttteeebayyyyoooo!" A genin entered the ground, shouting Naruto's signature dialogue. Sasuke started laughing. And a good portion of the crowd did the same.
Because the genin was dressed in the most obnoxious manner. His wig was made of yellow wool, his attire was a bright, very fucking bright orange T-Shirt with equally bright... booty shorts. His cheeks had extremely thick lines made in black paint that covered almost his entire cheeks and he was wearing a sign that said, 'My eyes are actually blue, not brown. Couldn't find lenses, so this is a compromise.'
Naruto pinched Sasuke, effectively making him yelp in pain, "Stop laughing you bastard!"
This caused Kiba and Sakura to burst out laughing instead, and then the chain followed till all of them except Naruto were laughing at the expense of the blond.
"Fuck off," he growled.
"I WILL BECOME THE HOKAGE!" by now, Naruto's actor had come centre-stage and was pumping his fists in the air, much like Naruto does.
"No. I will become Hokage, you idiot."
Another genin walked up calmly. He was dressed in an open white tunic, a ridiculous looking lavender rope tied around his waist in atleast 50 coils and loose, baggy trousers. The most noteworthy feature about this actor though, was the butt of a duck toy taped to his head.
This time, there was laughter again, only Naruto joined in too while Sasuke activated his Sharingan, a string of curses flying out of his mouth in rapid succession.
Naruto wheezed. "Karma is a bitch," he managed to say in between breaths.
"I'll murder these brats," Sasuke said darkly, gritting his teeth.
Before someone could calm him down, Naruto-actor stomped his foot haughtily,
"Never! You'd never become the Hokage! I am the good guy. I am the main character of this damn play! You won't win you traitorous deutaragonist!"
Duck toy boy smirked. "That doesn't matter," he waved his hand dismissively. "I've realized out of the blue that I want to become the Hokage and then become a mega-super-duper-villain who will unite all the shinobi." He laughed, almost manically and then he looked at Naruto and winked,
"Besides, I'm hot."
Author's Note:
I AM NOT SORRY FOR WRITING THIS CRAP. OKAY BYE.