"Besides, I'm hot."

Sasuke smirked, a little too smug for someone who had just passed several death threats a few seconds ago.

Naruto stomped on his foot, "That was meant as an insult. They're showing your vanity."

"Or appreciating my good looks," Sasuke retorted.

Sakura inhaled deeply, hitting Sasuke on his arm repeatedly. The two bickering friends turned towards the ground once again, only to feel immensely amused.

Because there was a girl quickly approaching Naruto and Sasuke's actors. She was dressed in an ordinary red battle dress and equipped with ordinary wooden kunai.

But nothing else about her was ordinary.

Her hair was a mess of pink tinted tape, black hair peeping from the underneath the dome of pink. Huge green circles were drawn on her eyes, and the back of her lids which were supposed to indicate Sakura's green eyes. That failed miserably, when the girl tripped after her entry, not used to walking with her eyes closed. So now the green colour just looked like shoddy eye shadow and er... green under eyebags.

She stopped purposefully next to duck butt boy and raised her fisted hands under her chin, in an attempt to look shy.

"Yes Sasuke!" She squealed, a little too enthusiastically. "You're hot."

Then she turned angry for absolutely no reason at all and looked at Naruto, pointing condescendingly at him, "And you're not!"

Ino whispered to Kiba, "Well, this is definitely accurate."

Kiba snorted, "Hell yeah."

The Sakura actor looked at Sasuke-actor again and with elaborate actions, removed a pair of goggles from Kami knows where. Ofcourse, they weren't simple. They had big heart frames instead of the regular rectangles and she put them on, staring intensely at the Sasuke-actor.

She sighed happily. "Marry me," she told the him.

The real Sakura buried her face in her hands, groaning in agitation.

"Someone kill me please."

Naruto patted her back soothingly, "There there. Happens."

Sasuke, meanwhile, focused on his actor.

The actor did not disappoint, he crossed his arms and scowled.

"No," He declared and stuck his tongue out at her, who was still staring dreamily at him.

"You're annoying."

Sakura-actor fainted.

Well, atleast, she pretended to.

Naruto-actor immediately fell beside her, wailing, "Sakura-chaaannn! You killed her you ugly bastard! Look at what you've done!"

Duck toy boy kicked up some dirt, trying to act nonchalant, "She's just unconscious."

Naruto-actor did not respond though it looked like he wanted to.

Sasuke-actor waited for 30 seconds before looking at Naruto-actor, raising his eyebrow in silent conversation. Some grunts, some really not-so-subtle hand actions later, Sasuke-actor turned towards the audience again.

He repeated, very awkwardly, "She's just unconscious." And then he added, just as stiffly, "Dobe."

Chouji nudged Hinata, "He repeated his dialogue just 'cause he forgot one word?"

Hinata smiled widely, too good to laugh at the genin, "Yeah."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME DOBE HUH YOU! YOU...! YOU TEME!" Naruto-actor's outburst caused several people to startle.

"Kami," Naruto muttered. "I wasn't that bad."

Sasuke stared at him blankly, "Yes, yes you were."

Kiba laughed in the background.

"I mean," Sasuke-actor said, calm again, "that you have the intelligence of an overgrown peanut. Or a mushroom. Or a bedsheet."

Naruto-actor looked at him quizzically, "How-- what-- well, you know what? I like peanuts and mushrooms and bedsheets. So suck it, the joke's on you!" He crossed his arms, pouting petulantly.

"Ma, what a show!" Someone said cheerily from behind Shikamaru and they turned to see Kakashi and Sai walking upto them.

"Mind if we join you?" Sai asked, smiling sweetly.

"Only if you promise to stop smiling. It's creepy," Ino said.

Sai stopped smiling immediately. Then he looked at her. And smiled again. Twice as wide and twice as fake.

Ino rolled her eyes, "Remind me again why the fuck do I like you?"

Sai slid in the seat next to hers, "You like me?"

Ino punched him lightly, "Shut up before I make you."

"Oi! Love birds. Stop talking, I can't hear what they're saying." Kiba whispered, irritated by the two.

The supposedly passed out Sakura-actor was now blatantly keeping her eyes open, going as far as two look up at the two genin actors.

Seriously, who taught these kids how to act?

Duck butt guy and Naruto were staring intensely at each other now.

That went on for 30 seconds.

Then a minute.

Then another minute.

Then another.

Before duck butt guy finally blinked and Naruto-actor whooped in joy.

"I win! Hah! I win! You lose you hatred-filled, Sharingan-wielding-madman! I will be the Hokage!"

Sasuke's actor growled, "Shut up!"

Naruto's actor, quite predictably, didn't shut up.

Sasuke's actor gritted his teeth but before he could say anything, another person from the audience (definitely, obviously, completely, utterly, evidently, undoubtedly a member of the cast) stood up and yelled,

"Y'all should get someone smart to make the decision. They'll know who should become the Hokage out of the two of you!"

Both actors made of show of considering this and then looked at each other, with some sort of understanding on their faces. The audience didn't really know, considering that Naruto's actor's face was 80% black paint.

"Let's su–" Nactor started, "Let's summ–" Sasuke interrupted, "ummon Sh–" Naruto tried continuing, "Shikamaru!" Sasuke yelled.

So yeah, their sync sucked. So what?

Sasuke poked Naruto's thigh, "We've got better coordination than that right?"

Naruto swatted his hand away, "Does it even matter anymore?"

Sasuke's response was a very deep whining noise.

Two generic genin backstage members came in carrying another genin in their hands.

They came upstage and slowly put the genin down, in such a way that the genin was basically lying on the grass, a hand propping up his neck as the he looked at everyone through half-lidded eyes.

This genin was dressed in normal Shinobi garbs, but for some reason had a small pineapple stuck on his head.

"Shikamaru, you're here!" Naruto-actor shouted happily.

Shikamaru's actor who was staring at the audience from his place on the ground, blinked slowly. Very slowly. Then he said one word.

"Troublesome."

And promptly fell asleep.

Author's Note:

I regret nothing.
Ps- Yes, this is a cross-post from ao3. No, I am not stealing content.
Thanks for reading y'all! :))