Immortal Coil
A South Park One Shot by Andew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non profit fan based work of prose. South Park, et al are the property of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Viacom. Please support the official release.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All characters in this fic have been aged up to seventeen-eighteen, legal age. I don't write this kind of stuff with minors.
Stan brought his car to a stop just outside of his house, and leaned back in his seat. He stared up at the weathered ceiling of his old Subaru and just glared up into the abyss.
He didn't want to go inside-He'd have to explain to his mom why he wasn't at school. He didn't want to go anywhere. He just wanted to stew and be alone.
"Hey Stan!"
"Ah!" He jumped and looked out the window. A cute redheaded girl in a kitty sweater stood there, smiling at him. She was slim but athletic looking, and her hair was long and slightly messy. She was part Japanese, especially around the eyes
He struggled to recall her name. They'd gone on some fishing trips... Played some as kids...
"Sumire?" He finally managed.
"Hey!" She beamed. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here? School's still in session," Stan pointed out. Sumire shrugged.
"Eh, my classes for the rest of the day got canceled, so I decided to just chill out," she said. She leaned forward, concerned. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah. Fine," Stan grunted, glaring at his car wheel. Sumire tilted her head curiously. It was kind of cute with her cat eared-hood, but Stan wasn't in the mood for cute.
"... Wanna talk about it?" She ventured.
"No," Stan grumbled.
"Okay. Can I sit here with you then?" Sumire asked. Stan sighed, and unlocked the passenger side door. Sumire beamed and walked around, opening the door and sliding into the seat. She shut the door, and perched on the seat edge with a happy smile. Stan kept scowling out at the street.
"... So, my mom's teaching Japanese at the community college now," Sumire started, "so she's happy. My sister's off to college-She's really liking Adams State! I dunno about college, I'm thinking of trade school or something. Maybe be a nurse. Nursing would be fun. What are you thinking of after high school?"
"... Air Force," Stan grunted. "Or Space Force."
"Wow! That's really cool, Stan!" Sumire enthused. "I bet you'll do great!"
"Sure," Stan grumbled. Sumire nodded.
"I heard they've got this microwave emitter that can fry satellites! Wouldn't it be cool to shoot one of those? Pew pew!"
"Yeah. Super cool," Stan sighed.
"What's new with you?" Sumire asked. "I mean, I kind of lost track of you after the divorce and all."
Stan grunted.
"Yeah. My mom's staff manager at the plastic surgery clinic. My dad's running his farm. Shelly's off at college," he iterated dully.
"You still hanging out with your friends?" Sumire asked. Stan sighed heavily, and Sumire winced. "Sorry."
"It's... Fine," Stan managed. Sumire hummed, and then smiled brightly.
"I've never actually seen a pot farm before. If you're not doing anything... Could you take me up to see it?"
Stan grumbled a bit.
"If you don't want to, I understand," Sumire said, "I know you and your dad... Um... Yeah. Sorry I asked."
"It's fine," Stan said, turning the ignition key, "I want an excuse to get out of here."
Sumire gave him a short hug. Despite his bad mood, he let her.
"You're welcome," Sumire said.
Tegridy Farms looked about the Sumiree as it ever did-Sparkling and pristine. Stan would give his father that much-His obsession with pot at least let him maintain a decent looking farm. He pulled up on bare dirt in front of the farmhouse alongside a black Mercedes sedan and a big Ford truck. Sumire got out ahead of him. She started flitting about, looking at everything with eager eyes.
"Wow! He handles the whole farm by himself?!" She gasped. Stan got out, his hands in his pockets.
"No, he has hired workers," Stan grunted. Sumire flitted over to him, beaming happily. Despite his bad mood, he let her wrap her hands around his arm.
"Does he have any animals?" She asked.
"Some cows and chickens," Stan muttered, "I dunno-"
"STAN!"
Stan looked up. His father Randy stood on the porch with a concerned expression. His father was going a bit more gray, but he still carried himself with that strange swagger of his.
"Hey Dad," Stan sighed, "I'm just-"
"I know, Stan," Randy said with a nod. Stan blinked up at him. "You and your friend can come in."
"Yay!" Sumire cheered.
Stan followed his father into the farmhouse, Sumire still clinging to his arm. He stopped short in the kitchen when he saw who was at the table, sipping some tea. His eyes narrowed.
"Cartman?" He demanded.
"Hey Stan," the fat teenager replied, "just visiting your dad. Hey Sumire."
"Hey Eric," Sumire said cheerfully. "Been a while! How are you doing?"
"Oh, fine, fine," Cartman returned, the picture of cordiality. Stan's scowl deepened. Randy poured them some tea, but also procured two cans of beer. He sat at the table, as Stan and Sumire sat down too. They all had tea, while Randy sipped his beer.
"Eric's been coming over to help me with my marketing," Randy said cheerfully, "he's been great at helping me get Tegridy out! Our sales have never been higher!" He grinned. "I helped him get his car!"
"Just dropped by to show it off, and thank Mister Marsh for helping me," Cartman simpered. Stan's glare intensified, but Sumire's touch on his arm gave him pause.
"That's... Nice," he managed.
"And Sumire? How are you? You dating my boy?" Randy asked cheerfully. Sumire blushed and shook her head.
"Oh no! We're just catching up!" She said. "He's playing hooky, and so am I."
"Sumire!" Stan admonished, but Randy just chuckled.
"Ah, I get it," he said. "No worries Stan. I understand." He looked at Cartman. "Hey Eric? Can you show Sumire around the farm? I think a girl this pretty deserves a tour."
"Certainly, Mister Marsh," Cartman returned with a smile. He offered his hand to Sumire. Sumire looked over at Stan in concern... But Stan shrugged. He didn't know what his father had up his sleeve but he was hoping the sooner they got through it, the sooner it would be over.
"Sure thing, Eric," Sumire said. "Thank you Mister Marsh!"
"Please, call me Randy, both of you," Randy said with a smile. Cartman chuckled.
"I don't think I can get used to that, Mister Marsh-Er, Randy," he said. He gave Stan a concerned look, and patted his shoulder. "Dude, just remember: I"m here for you... And your Xbox."
"Fuck you Cartman," Stan muttered back. Cartman laughed, patted his shoulder again, and headed out with the still concerned Sumire. When the door shut, Randy pushed the beer over to Stan. Stan stared at his father for a moment, but then took the can, cracked it open, and drank some down. He made a face.
"Ugh. Still tastes like shit."
"You get used to it," Randy said, sipping his own beer. "Now: I heard you had some trouble with Wendy?"
"I-!" Stan grit his teeth, and glared at the table. "Yeah..." He drank more beer, the burn now more satisfying. "I can't believe Kenny would... Would do such a thing! I thought he was my friend!"
Randy nodded sagely. "Yeah, Eric told me everything," he said.
"You really shouldn't trust him, Dad. He is a manipulative sociopath. I mean, what's he really been doing here?" Stan asked. Randy gave him a wry look.
"You sure haven't shown much interest in what I've been doing lately," he pointed out, "but he has."
Stan winced, and drank more beer. A warmth filled his body.
"I'm sorry Dad," Stan said. Randy sighed.
"I know I haven't been doing as well as I should, what with the restraining order and the divorce and the time I destroyed the town-"
"Times, plural," Stan snorted. Randy ignored this.
"But I am still your father, and I'm here for you, son," Randy said. Stan sighed, staring at the beer can.
"This is just... So much more personal," he admitted, "they both... Lied to me! Didn't tell me a thing!"
"Hm," Randy nodded, "you know, I was in a similar situation once."
Stan pulled more beer, and set down his can. He looked at his father curiously, even as his cheeks burned red.
"Uh huh?"
"With your mom, actually," Randy said. "Some big guy tried to take her, and I ran off in despair. My dad saw that, and you know what he said to me?"
"What did Grandpa say?" Stan asked.
Randy slammed his fist on the table, shaking it. Stan barely saved his beer, and Randy took another mighty swig of his own beer. He slammed it down, wiped the foam from his mustache, and glared.
"'You're gonna lose her if you mope around like a little pussy! So why not try and fight for her? Win her back? Worst case scenario, ya get beat up and your ass kicked in front of everyone! Best case scenario, you whoop his ass and win her back! What's it gonna be?!'"
Stan's eyes widened.
"So what'd you do?" Stan asked.
"I did exactly as your grandpa told me," Randy said with a nod, "I went back to that guy, and kicked his ass in front of everybody!" He paused. "After a few more beers. Then I won your mom back."
"And now you're divorced," Stan pointed out. Randy nodded.
"Yeah, we are," he said, "but we had a wonderful life together. We had you two kids. We had so many happy moments, and might have more happy moments in the future. Do you really want to just... Give that up? Without a fight?"
Stan stared at his father. He stared at his beer. He then tipped the beer up and guzzled the rest of it down with a loud swallow. He then grabbed his father's beer, and drank it all down too. He stood up, and wiped his mouth. He then closed his eyes, and concentrated.
Outside, Sumire was already bored with Cartman's explanations about the Jewish bankers ruining his plans for financial domination. They were passing by the barn, when there was a rumble and a flash of light. Sumire started, and her eyes widened as several power tools and accessories flew out of the barn towards the house.
"What the hell?!" Sumire cried. Cartman smirked.
"Yes, yes, all is going according to plan," he chuckled.
The tools flew through the windows, glowing with awesome power. They flew to Stan, and covered him in glowing light. When it faded, he was dressed in a white T-shirt, yellow safety goggles, work gloves, jeans, work boots, and a toolbelt covered in everything a general contractor would want. He held up a power drill, and orange and blue lightning crackled from the bit.
"Hell no," Toolshed growled, "Kenny? You're going fucking down."
"That's the spirit, son!" Randy cheered.
Sumire burst into the farmhouse kitchen minutes later-Just in time to hear Stan's car start up. She ran out to the porch and saw Stan's Subaru tearing out of the farm driveway and onto the country road.
"STAN!" She screamed. "STAN!"
She turned to see Cartman chuckling evilly. Sumire glared in anger.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"The Freedom Pals have been making me go to the gym every week as part of my 'parole'," Cartman stated, making mocking finger quotations, "and this has taken out time I would rather spend doing other things! Such as playing video games, sleeping, and eating! So, I gained the trust of Stan's father to gain money. I bought this car with it. But still, even with this magnificent Mercedes, I was denied my sleeping time!"
He then chuckled evilly again, his cheeks rumbling in twisted delight.
"So, when I saw that Kenny and Wendy had fallen for eachother, I arranged for you to run into Stan by making two of your classes cancelled! A mere trifle. I knew you would run into Stan and that you would want to see Tegridy Farms, based on your Facebook posts about farms and 'how farms are kewl' lol. Stan could not resist! So you brought Stan here, where his father Randy would set him into a drunken rage with his Tegridy brew-Beer made with meth and pot! Thus dividing the Freedom Pals in another Civil War, and ensuring..."
Here Cartman stood dramatically.
"That I would never have to go to the gym, ever again!"
Sumire stared at him for a long moment. She then kicked him in the balls, making the big teenager go down with a cry.
"AHHHH!"
"Seriously, you put in all that work just to be lazy?" Sumire muttered, as she rummaged around in Cartman's jacket, "you're a dick!"
"AW! MY DICK! YOU BITCH!" Cartman groaned. Sumire grabbed Cartman's cellphone.
"How do I unlock it?" She demanded.
"Ha! Not telling you!" Cartman mocked. Sumire kicked him in the balls again. "AAAUUUGH! OKAY OKAY! 1234!"
Sumire inputted the pin number, and searched out Stan's cellphone listing. She called.
"Stan? Stan, can you hear me?!" She demanded.
Randy walked into the living room, holding up a ringing cellphone.
"Aw crap, Stan forgot his phone," Randy sighed. "Hey Eric, can you return it to him...?" He blinked. "What's going on?"
"Nothing! We're going to return Stan's phone!" Sumire shouted. She grabbed Cartman and dragged the fatass to his feet. "LET'S GO!"
"Why should I-OKAY OKAY!" Cartman managed, as Sumire raised her foot threateningly, "okay! I'll drive!"
Randy blinked.
"Say, you aren't into my son too, are you?" Randy asked.
Sumire blushed furiously.
"I... Um..."
"Way to go Stan!" Randy cheered, "two girls! That's my boy!"
"Yeah sure whatever, LET'S GO!" Sumire shouted, shoving Cartman towards the door.
"Seriously, this is so weak," Cartman muttered.
And I'm even including an OC. God, what have I done?
Sumire is based on Sam Himitsu by Modest Neko. But she wanted me to not use her OC, so I tweaked her.