Chapter 2 - You Make Me Insanely Happy

It was close to lunchtime when Keith rounded the corner onto his street. He had taken a long walk that led him to his old elementary school, then beyond to his high school. The middle school was in the opposite direction of his house. It was a warm July day with scattered clouds running across the sky, occasionally blocking out the sun.

The sight of his childhood home at the far end of the street caused a small pang of anxiety to clutch his heart, something it never had before. The Holt's house, as he passed it, was quiet – Colleen and Sam were likely at the university. He wondered if Pidge had come home after he walked out, or if she had stayed long enough to apologize to Lance.

The thought she might not apologize pained him. Not only did Lance deserve an apology, but not giving him one said to Keith that Pidge didn't value their friendship. That hurt him to his core.

He noticed his car was back. Keith expected it to be – he'd been walking for a couple of hours and he knew Lance and their friends could only stretch their time at the grocery store so long. He dreaded walking in – dreaded what he would find – but he did, calling out a greeting as he came through the front door.

Only there was no response. "Lance? Hunk? Shay?" he called. "Anyone home?"

He walked into the kitchen and noticed some of the non-refrigerated ingredients on the counter, so he knew they were home. He glanced through the sliding doors onto the deck and found them – lounging in the partial bursts of sunshine – Lance and Shay in loungers and Hunk at the patio table.

"Hey," he said, sliding open the door to step out. They returned his greetings, though their tones were not the usual cheerful ones he normally heard. "Get everything we need at the store?"

"Oh, yeah," Hunk said. "Spent a ton, too. Got the top shelf brands."

Keith laughed. "Good. I won't bother to tell Shiro, either. See if he notices." He spoke to Hunk, but he was looking at Lance, who was staring at the backyard with a pensive expression.

The four were quiet for a few minutes before Shay spoke up. "Hunk, why don't you and I go put together some sandwiches for lunch? We picked up some lunch meats and cheese today, too."

"Uh, yeah. Sounds good," Hunk said, hurrying to stand up. He helped Shay up from her lounger and the pair disappeared into the house, after Shay patted Keith on the arm.

"Can I join you?" Keith asked.

Lance looked up at him with a small smile. "Of course." He adjusted the lounger into an upright position. "Back or front?"

Keith chuckled. "Back, I guess. I kinda want you between my legs."

"Keithy!" Lance squawked, but scooted forward a little to give Keith room behind him. Soon they were situated cozily, Lance leaning back against Keith's front. "I know Shiro should be home in an hour or so," Lance mentioned.

"Yeah, I think so," Keith said, idly running his fingers through Lance's hair, smiling at how the locks reverted to curls he knew Lance would fret about.

"Do you plan to talk to him?"

"I'd like to."

"I texted Allura. She said we could come hang out with her. She's going to stop by Uncle Coran's place and help him with something."

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

"Yeah."

They didn't say anything for a few minutes, but Keith couldn't wait much longer. "Was Pidge here when you got home?"

"Uh," Lance hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, she was here."

"And?"

He felt the tension throughout Lance's body. "Can I ask you what you said to her?" he asked, uncertainty in his tone.

Keith briefly told him about his talk with Pidge. He continued to play with Lance's hair, hoping the action would relax him somewhat, but it wasn't working. Lance was nearly vibrating with agitation, which made Keith worry Pidge had done what he feared – made things worse.

When he finished, they were silent for a few moments. "Did she apologize?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"What did she say?"

Lance drew in a deep breath. "We came in and she was in the living room. It looked like she had been crying. Hunk asked if she was okay and she asked if she could talk to me alone." He was speaking in a flat tone. "Hunk and Shay came out here and I sat down on the couch and she launched into this rambling apology, saying it wasn't me. That she was messed up and afraid, and to be honest I didn't understand much of what she said. But, she apologized. A bunch of times. And she said she knows she doesn't deserve my forgiveness, but she hopes someday I can."

"What did you say?"

"I-I…" Lance hesitated.

"What's on your mind, baby?" Keith asked after a few moments.

Lance sat up straighter, pulling his warmth from Keith. He curled in on himself, drawing up his legs to wrap arms around his knees. He didn't answer and Keith leaned forward to put his hand on Lance's back. "Baby?" he prompted.

Lance didn't answer for a while. So long that Keith started to worry. His voice sounded strained when he finally spoke. "I don't know if I can accept an apology from her, Keith. Or Shiro, if he offers one. I mean, I don't know about Shiro. He hasn't been deliberately mean like Pidge. But I didn't know what to say."

Keith rubbed his back a little. "I don't expect you to accept it, sweetheart."

Lance tensed again, then dropped his legs down so he could shuffle forward enough to turn and look at Keith, whose hand dropped between them. Lance's eyes were a stormy blue – not teary, but like a tempest raged behind them. "You won't be mad if I don't?"

"No," Keith answered, now holding his hand out for Lance to take. He did, looking down at their joined hands as he absently rubbed Keith's with his thumb. "No, I won't be. She apologized to me, too, but she's going to have to work hard to earn my trust again. I told her so."

"You did?"

"Mhm. And she will. So, I also don't think you have to accept the apology. Or trust her. That's going to be up to you, but it won't change how I feel about you. I hope you believe that."

It looked like a weight lifted off Lance. "Shiro, too?"

"Shiro, too," Keith affirmed, giving Lance a little smile. "What did you say to her?"

"I thanked her and said I'd have to think about it. She said that was fair and she understood. Then she said she was really grateful that I made you so happy. Which I don't know if I can believe." Then he shook his head. "No. Not that I don't make you happy. I think I do. I mean believe that she is really grateful."

Keith chuckled, bringing up Lance's hand up to his mouth to kiss his knuckles. "I understood what you meant. And yes, you make me insanely happy."

He watched Lance melt. "Keeeeeeith," he whined, falling forward to hide his face against Keith's chest. Laughing, Keith leaned back, pulling Lance with him. They adjusted themselves until they were comfortable, and stayed there until Shay called them from the door to come in for lunch.

"You'd think you'd learn where to hide when you want to avoid me," he said wryly as he shut the door to the room behind the garage where their father had set up a workbench to tinker. Shiro had an old toaster on the bench in front of him, completely dismantled. Lance, Hunk, and Shay had gone downtown to Coran's, and Keith waited at home for Shiro, who had dashed into the house and then disappeared before Keith could catch him.

"Why do you think I'm avoiding you?"

"Because you are? You know Pidge could fix that faster than you can. You needed an excuse to hide from me."

Shiro snorted in response. "Maybe I like to fix things."

"Right," Keith said. "Then fix this fucking mess you made."

Shiro picked up a few of the pieces in front of him and moved them around in an aimless way. "I am fixing it."

"The toaster isn't what I meant." Shiro shifted on his stool slightly, but didn't answer, so Keith sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Why are you acting like such an asshole?"

"Keith…"

"No. Stop. Don't fucking say my name in that disappointed voice. Don't even try to put this on me."

"I walk in on you…doing stuff…in the kitchen."

"Fuck that, Shiro! You've been an asshole to him long before we came here. You're not acting like this because you interrupted a blow job."

"Keith…"

"No!" Keith paced back and forth for a moment, working his irritation out by the slap of his bare feet on concrete. "It's not like I never caught you doing anything."

Shiro's hands dropped onto the bench and his older brother slumped his posture. "This is moving too fast."

"And what fucking business is this of yours? And how is it fast? We've been together almost two months now."

"It's my business because you're my brother. My baby brother. I promised Dad I'd take care of you."

"Since when is taking care of me being a dick to my boyfriend?"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"So you hurt me instead? Have you given him a chance? Do you think my judgement is so pathetic that I can't tell when someone is a good person?" Keith asked, huffing a sigh from exasperation.

"That's not it, Keith…"

"Than what is it? Seriously, Shiro? Tell me," Keith demanded. "What is it you don't like about him? Do you realize how fucking broken up he is about this? He's terrified I'll dump him if you and Pidge don't like him."

Shiro looked up at the wall in front of him, his eyebrows drawing in. "He is?"

Keith threw his hands out to his side. "How can you ask that? He is? Of course, he is! His boyfriend's brother and best friend are treating him like some horrible person. How the fuck would you feel if…if…if Coran treated you the way you're treating Lance? Or if Adam's parents ignored you, or were cold to you?"

He knew mentioning Adam was a low blow. There was still a lot of bitterness about Adam buried in Shiro, despite him being completely enamored with Allura now. Keith, however, didn't care.

"Don't bring Adam into this."

"Why not? Adam and Allura are your only two relationships. You were pretty serious about Adam. You're serious about Allura. So, tell me. How would it feel if their friends or family acted like you have been?"

Shiro ran his fingers over the toaster cover. "Probably like shit," he said to the wall in front of him.

"Not probably. Don't give me that shit. What is it? What do you think is wrong with him?"

"It's just…" Shiro started, then paused.

"You and Pidge are assholes. See? Neither of you can give me one reason you think he's terrible for me." Keith drew in another deep breath. It was harder to confront his brother about this absurd behavior than he thought. "Allura adores him. You seem to like Hunk and Shay. They absolutely love him. Coran practically adopted him the other night. Matt, Colleen, and Sam thought he was great. Are you honestly telling me you think all of them have bad judgement? If you're fucking mad at me, take it out on me. Not him."

"I'm not mad at you," Shiro said, his tone defeated. "Disappointed? I guess. Hurt? Yeah."

"I held off telling you for not even two weeks and you're still mad about it?"

"You tell me everything," Shiro pointed out, still talking to the wall – at the tools hung there by their father on the pegboard. "It hurt that you didn't tell me this. I always thought the minute you found someone you'd call me."

Keith paused. Shiro did sound hurt. His tone was something Keith hadn't heard in years. Not since their father got sick. His own eyes shifted to the tools hanging there. Keith could almost see his dad carefully putting them back in their place.

"Keith," Shiro continued, finally turning his head to look at his little brother, "When Dad died...before he died…I promised him I'd take care of you. Never let anything happen to you. We both knew how sensitive you were, so Dad made me promise. When he was gone, you and I became more than brothers. I felt like your father as well as your brother. I did everything I could to take care of you. And I felt, I guess, the older you got, we were friends as well."

"We always have been, Shiro," Keith said. He half-raised his hand between them, but dropped it. "I know what you gave up for me. Don't think I don't." He saw Shiro wince. "I still don't see how that justifies how you're acting."

"Yeah, but, I don't know. When you told me about Lance after radio silence, which isn't normal, it just hurt. I didn't feel important to you any more. Here was this guy who took you away from me for two weeks. Dragged you into a whirlwind relationship that's moved so fast. Boyfriends after a day? Practically living together after a few weeks? I can see how much you love him and it scares me. How can I take care of you when he is?"

"Shiro, I'm not twelve anymore."

"I know. I can tell myself over and over you're not a kid, but I can't seem to realize it sometimes. I look at you and still see my little brother. All I want to do is protect you."

Keith crossed his arms over his chest, chewing on his bottom lip. "I get that. I do. I mean, I know I'll always see you as my big brother. But I also see you as my equal. Maybe when I was younger, I looked up to you as this larger-than-life person who I idolized. But it's different now."

"It's not for me. I'll always feel responsible for you. Dad worried so much about you."

"He did?"

"Like I said, we knew how sensitive you were. How you tend to keep to yourself. Dad didn't want you to become completely introverted. Your only friend when he died was Pidge."

"But, Shiro. I'm not. I moved to Altea. I tried to have a dating life. Unsuccessful, yeah, but I still did. I have a good job where I'm happy and they like me there. I teach. I'm definitely not introverted. And now…I met Lance and became friends with Hunk and Shay. I did exactly what you and Dad worried I wouldn't."

"I know."

His arms uncrossed and he propped his fists on his hips, looking at the floor in agitation. "I told Pidge she embarrassed me. And hurt me. You have, too. The first day I met Lance, I told him all about you. Told him what a great guy you are. How nice and funny you are. He couldn't wait to meet you. Couldn't wait to meet all of you. He heard you call him a child that day on the phone."

Shiro looked down at his hands. "I know I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have. Having the heart of a child and being a child are two different things. You called when we were all a little tipsy, and judged him. I've seen you drunk off your ass. You'd like to be judged like that?" he asked. Shiro shook his head. "I asked Pidge this, and I'll ask you. Tell me one thing Lance has done that's been wrong."

Shiro's silence spoke volumes.

"That's what I thought. So you're mad at me. For a completely fucked up reason. But take that shit out on me. Lance in no way deserves how you've treated him." And, knowing the one thing that would cut Shiro to the core, said, "Dad would be so ashamed of you."

Shiro dropped his face into his hands, but not before Keith saw the hurt expression. "Keith…"

"He would be. Dad was so warm-hearted and welcoming. If he knew you treated a guest…my boyfriend…as cold as you have…" Keith let it hang there between them.

It hung there like a lead weight, pressing against the both of them. "You're not wrong," Shiro said, dropping his hands. "Dad would be mad at me."

It surprised Keith that Shiro would admit it. Then again, it shouldn't have. As mad as he was at Shiro right now, it wasn't as if he didn't know his brother. Normally his brother was kind and big-hearted. It's why Keith was so mad at him. He couldn't understand why Shiro suddenly changed, but his explanation made sense. It didn't make it right, but Keith did understand what was behind it.

"I'm glad you see that," he said.

"I guess," Shiro said, then paused. "I guess I don't want anything to change. It was hard enough when you moved to Altea. I miss you so much and I guess I'm just scared we'll lose what we have."

"Shiro, nothing's going to change our relationship. You'll always be my brother and closest friend."

"My brain knows, but my heart? It felt empty. And," he added, looking again at Keith, "I know how fucking selfish it makes me. You were nothing but accepting when I started dating Allura. You were great when I dated Adam. I never thought I'd be one of those jealous assholes, but I am." Shiro glanced to the side at the bench and the mess of toaster parts. "I thought I'd handle this better. You getting together with someone."

"I have to be honest, it surprised me. It surprised me you didn't give him a chance."

"I can't even say how sorry I am."

"I appreciate that you are, but I'm not the only one you need to apologize to," Keith said. He let out another sigh and tilted his head to look blankly at the ceiling. "And I won't lie, he's really hurt and isn't sure he can accept yours or Pidge's apologies."

"I don't blame him. I probably wouldn't either."

"You're both lucky he's the most selfless and big-hearted person I've ever met. After Dad, Hunk and Shay, of course."

Shiro's lips quirked into almost a smile. "Your friends are amazing, Keith. I'm glad you found them."

"Apologize to my boyfriend, and you'll see he's just as amazing," Keith told him.

"He does seem so."

"You and Pidge piss me off so much. You both said he seems great. And treat him like shit." He looked down at the floor as he crossed his arms again. "Lance hasn't said it to me yet, but I know he loves me. And I love him, Shiro. I'm looking at this as something long-term. Permanent. So, you can deal with your jealousy and let this amazing person into your life as well. Or we go home. You're my brother and I love you, but you went too far. A lot is gonna depend on you."

"I know. I don't know how to fix it, though," Shiro admitted. "This has never happened to me before."

"Like I said, start with an apology. All he wanted was to make friends with you and Pidge. If you both would have just swallowed your pride and at least tried to get to know him, this wouldn't be an issue. Now you have to work to earn both his trust and mine. But if this doesn't get better, if you don't apologize and try, we're going home. And the thing you worried about, losing me, might be where it's headed."

Shiro looked at him, his expression stricken.

Keith continued, looking up to meet Shiro's eyes, "I know I didn't call you right away. I said I was sorry, and that should have been the end of it. Especially for something so stupid to be mad about. I know this has moved fast. I certainly never expected this, and all of a sudden, it was there. I'd fallen in love like that," he said, lifting a hand to snap his fingers. "But nothing about this whole relationship has ever made me regret jumping right into it. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I can tell," Shiro said. "I'll talk to him tonight and apologize."

"And cut the attitude. I told Pidge, so I'll tell you. I'm not sure this can be fixed by the end of our stay, but you both have to try."

"I will, Keith." Shiro stood, facing Keith and held his arms out. "I am sorry," he apologized again. "I'll be better, I promise."

Keith hesitated, which did give him a little pang in his heart. He'd never before hesitated to hug his brother, but he didn't want Shiro to think all was forgiven. He crossed the small space to be engulfed in Shiro's arms – Shiro, who hugged him fiercely. "This isn't me forgiving you," Keith muttered in a muffled voice.

"I know," Shiro said. "I know I haven't shown it, but I am happy for you. I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy. And I know Dad would be happy for you, too."