"I suppose there's worse assignments to be sent on."
Mikasa shifted in her saddle and turned to cast a glance at Eren, trotting alongside her on a horse of his own.
She supposed he was right. There were scouts who regularly found themselves mucking the stables or cleaning up after meals. In that sense, the handful of days that the pair were slated to spend on a personal errand for Hange seemed... vacation-like, in comparison. Mikasa would take fetching schematics from a nearby village over Levi-enforced cleaning duty any day.
Plus, she'd been with Eren all her life. A few days of just the two of them was far from a punishment. So, she shot him a small smile. And the two continued into the forest.
—
Day slipped lazily into dusk; the hues of gold and pink splashed across the clouds deepened into purples and blues as the stars flickered to life above them. Moonbeams peered through the forest canopy and onto the scouts below, their pace slowing as the horses began to fuss.
Mikasa's gaze briefly flitted to the brown-haired boy riding a few strides before her.
"We should stop soon," She called out. "Looks like there's a clearing up ahead."
Eren merely hummed affirmation before adjusting his course slightly for the clearing. Upon reaching the small patch of grass, the pair dismounted, tied up the horses, and made quick work of a fire.
It wasn't until the flames crackled and the two sat on opposite sides of their humble fire that Mikasa finally parted her lips to speak:
"You've been quiet today."
Eren, leaned against a log with one leg up for his elbow to rest on, shifted his gaze to meet hers.
"I could say the same about you," He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.
Mikasa hesitated. "Maybe, but just because you seem off."
Eren's fingers picked absentmindedly at the grass. The fire between them flicked out glowing embers into the smooth night air, each one like little suns that dissipated as quickly as they appeared. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough, tired. "I feel useless on these errands. Like I should be doing more."
He paused. Where there was usually anger or vengefulness or steadfast resolve, Mikasa saw none in the eyes she knew so well. Only a blank sort of sadness - the kind that comes from the tragedy of youth stolen, of the weight of the world on one set of shoulders.
She said nothing.
"I'm scared that people are dying, that I could have saved them and instead, selfishly, I'm... here."
At this, Mikasa tilted her head to the side.
"Selfishly?" She questioned. "You followed an order."
A pause ensued and silence settled briefly over their little campsite, interwoven with the muted sounds of a far-off stream and chirping crickets. Eren's expression softened, as did his words: "You're right. I'm being stupid."
No. You're not stupid, keep talking forever, she wanted to say. But she didn't; she couldn't seem to form the words, and even if she could she would never allow herself to say them.
"Get some sleep. I'll keep watch for a little while," Eren remarked with a nod towards the bedrolls laid out a foot or so beside him.
He didn't really need to keep watch. But Mikasa got the sense it was less about what he needed to do, and more about not feeling useless; so she cleared her throat, managed a murmur of agreement, and settled into her roll.
As she lay snug in the sleeping bag pulled up to her neck, Mikasa's gaze wandered over to the boy still reclined against a log. Warm light from the fire bathed Eren's features in gold, illuminating his eyes as shadows danced across the dips and plains of his face. Silvery moonbeams poured down onto the deep brown strands atop his head, strands that shone and swayed amid the crisp evening breeze. She tried not to think about how soft it looked, or about how when the wind shifted, it carried over his familiar scent of mint soap and freshness after rain.
As she studied him, something in her gaze grew a bit too intent, and Eren turned as though he'd felt her looking. Mikasa quickly fixated on the fire again, mentally kicking herself. Don't just stare at him, you idiot.
"You okay?" She heard him say, his voice so soft it made her chest ache. "Are you cold?"
Before she could reply, Mikasa heard him shift from his seat - and not long after, she felt a second blanket being laid over her.
"That help?" Eren settled back into his spot, shooting her a small smile.
She felt her cheeks heat. "Thank you."
"Sleep, Mikasa. I mean it," Eren's tone was firm, but his eyes glimmered. And the way her name slipped through his lips... she was sure no one else could make it sound as good as he did.
So she slept. And when she awoke just before dawn, she found him in the second bedroll beside her, his sleeping expression the most peaceful she'd ever seen it.
The next day's ride was somewhat more eventful; the two encountered a handful of Titans, more than the day before, although nothing they couldn't manage. But the fighting sucked up the daylight just a bit faster, and upon spotting an abandoned farm in the distance, the pair were more than grateful for the shelter.
"Race you the rest of the way," Eren called out from behind when they were a little ways away from the farmhouse, his horse's gallop quickly picking up steam as he breezed past her.
With a smile and a shake of her head, Mikasa kicked into high gear and raced after him. As the pair flew across the grassy field with flushed faces and bright eyes, dusk settling swiftly upon them, she couldn't help but wonder if this was what things were supposed to feel like. If youth could mean freedom, if sunsets could be enjoyed solely for their beauty and not for the promise of momentary safety in the darkness that followed.
She won, a fact that Eren brushed off with a bitter chuckle: "Serves me right for trying to get that head start."
Mikasa let out a laugh, or at least, her subdued version of one, and led the horses to the somewhat intact stable a few yards from the rickety farmhouse.
As the sun dropped lower and lower on the horizon, the two occupied themselves with their respective tasks; Eren refilled their ODM gas and rationed out the food while Mikasa looked after the horses and fetched water from a river nearby.
Night blanketed the sky in velvet black and twinkling constellations once more, and on the earth below, the little farmhouse's windows glowed gold with lamplight. Inside the weathered one-room cottage, Eren and Mikasa began the final task that had been part of one too many of their evenings - cleaning blood and wrapping wounds.
The raven-haired girl stood by a window, moonlight illuminating her fair skin as she ran a damp cloth over her arms. Eren disinfected his own from his place beside the table in the center of the room - where whoever had once lived here had eaten, laughed, lived. A few empty cans were strewn across the floor, as though someone had knocked them off of the table in a hurry.
"What do you think happened to them?" Mikasa wondered aloud. "The people who lived here."
"Don't know. Hopefully they got away from whatever it was they were running from."
Mikasa nodded. "I hope so too."
Eren's gaze slid to her shoulder, now slightly exposed as her blouse had shifted with her movements, and shook his head. "I told you I had that."
Confusion flashed across Mikasa's face. She looked down at the cut that extended from her back to her left shoulder and quickly realized what he'd meant: during an earlier scuffle with Titans, it had looked like Eren was in trouble, so she'd overexerted herself ever so slightly. He'd ultimately been fine - but Mikasa had ended up with a couple scrapes as a result. Nothing she couldn't handle.
"Come here." His voice, tinged with exasperation, tugged at something in her chest. She obliged.
The pair now stood face to face; Mikasa leaned back against the dilapidated table, and Eren leaned over her, alcohol-soaked cloth in hand. Slowly, gently, he dabbed it over one of the smaller scrapes on her collarbone, eyes flitting back up to hers when she winced and gripped the edge of the table. But she shot him a small smile and a nod, so he continued until the front section of scratches she couldn't see herself had been disinfected.
"Turn around," He murmured. Mikasa's nodded, turned, and slid her blouse partly off of her shoulder so he could reach the rest of the wounds. Was she breathing? Maybe she should remember to do that.
Eren patted her cuts gently, just like before, one hand hooked in the fabric of her shirt to keep it out of the way. She felt his fingertips skim like a whisper across her skin, could feel the gusts of his cool breath against the back of her neck. Her vision blurred a little.
A few moments passed, and Mikasa realized he'd stopped. She turned her neck around to look at him.
"Are you-" Mikasa began, but faltered a little when she met his gaze, and when her own eyes flickered to his lips, parted ever so slightly. She blinked slowly. "Are you done?"
"Almost." His voice was soft and warm.
So, she focused intently on the wall in front of her once more as Eren finished up; tried not to think about the firm warmth of his hands as they spread a couple bandages over her skin.
When he was done, she flipped back around, but he was standing there still: looking down at her, green eyes shining, cheeks rosy. They were close, too close even, their faces only inches apart and as she held her breath she could swear he was getting closer - but she blinked, she wavered, and once she did he was a little further away. A normal distance, a comfortable one. Back on the other side of the line they were always toeing.
Until he spoke, and they were right back on the precipice: "It wasn't supposed to be me on this errand," He deadpanned.
Mikasa's brow furrowed slightly, taken aback by his abruptness. "What?"
"It was supposed to be Jean. On this mission. But I got us switched." Eren's voice was quiet, his head lowered slightly as he spoke.
A poignant silence stretched between them.
"Why?" Mikasa eventually replied, a little breathy and hoping, praying, pleading for the only kind of answer she wanted to hear.
He merely looked up at her, cocked his head to the side a little, and let out a sigh.
"You know why."
Mikasa just about shuddered.
"That's why I felt useless earlier. It was guilt because I did something selfish, because I wanted to be the one to go on this dumb little errand." Eren leaned forward a bit as he spoke, and Mikasa's pounding heart willed her back against the table. She leaned further with each small movement of his, always maintaining a safe few inches between their faces; a distance from which she could function properly, enough space where she could keep her head from spinning out of control.
"I hated the thought of it being Jean," His eyes were steel now, and his hands gripped the table on either side of her. "You and him, alone for however many days. Him being the one to worry about you, or bandage you up."
"But," Eren's gaze wandered away. "I'm sorry for getting everything switched around just because I felt like it. I probably should have asked you first."
Mikasa could feel her heartbeat pounding in her throat. He had chosen to be here. He had wanted to be here. With her.
Once done with his confession, Eren seemed like he was about to step back, and Mikasa briefly felt relief because that would be the smart thing to do here, putting space between them.
But he had done something selfish, and she wanted to do something selfish too — so she tugged him close by fistfuls of his shirt, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.
For a moment, the world was utterly still, and Mikasa briefly wondered if she'd made a mistake: but after a moment, Eren smiled against her kiss and snaked his hands around her waist, pressing her against him in a way that made her want to explode. His lips moved sweetly against hers — never frantic or forceful, but languid and soft, as though they had all the time in the world. Like they had their whole lives ahead of them.
They pulled away ever so slightly and paused for a moment, lips pink and eyes gleaming. It was dizzying, this kind of thing, and they couldn't help but wonder why on earth they'd never done it before.
Mikasa had so many questions and thoughts to convey, all concerning what they were doing and what it meant: but for now, it was just the two of them in a cottage under the stars in a field somewhere. She could ignore the hows and whys and what abouts that were sure to come, even if only for a moment longer. So she pushed reason to the back of her mind and kissed Eren in exactly the way she'd always wanted to, and he kissed her back, and in some way it was the most normal, sane thing they'd ever done.
"You're it for me, you know?" Eren whispered, forehead pressed to hers. His fingers were tangled in her hair, and his thumb gently swept across the soft skin of her cheekbone. "You're the good in the world I've always wanted to fight for."
Mikasa fought to calm her shaky breaths; to lessen the incessant thrum of her heart in her chest. But despite herself, she smiled.
"I promise to never stop fighting for you, either."
—
That night, they slept on the roof, entwined under the night sky. And a few days later, they returned home — a little lighter, a little happier, a little more full of life.
[Fin]
Thank you for reading! Pls review it is the absolute best thing I could ask for!