Sekirei One Shots
By: FunahoMisaki
(A/N: I own nothing and this is just a random one shot that pops into my brain. Be prepared for anything AU and OOC should be expected.)
"What do you mean I screw your mom?" Kagari asked gaping at Minato who gave him a flat look while Uzume was on the floor laughing.
"Oh my. How scandalous. I wasn't aware you were into older women Kagari-san. Should I be worried?" Miya asked making Kagari whirl towards her spluttering and confused and very much not touching that with a ten foot pool thank you.
"Kagari-san…how the hell have you not realized that I vanish every time you start talking about a certain woman who shares my last name…or the fact that I hide every time she shows up to the club?" Minato asked staring at his co-worker in disbelief.
"Wait your last name…?" Kagari blinked as he tried to remember what Minato's last name was.
"My name is Sahashi Minato. You've been involved with my mom on a regular basis for at least a full year." Minato said and Uzume nearly choked on her laughter at that but she had tears in her eyes she was laughing so hard. Miya's eyebrows raised at hearing this.
"You're Takami's son?!" Kagari yelped in disbelief and horror as he stared at the other boy.
"Calling my mom by her first name and without honorifics now? Should I start calling you 'tou-san'?" Minato asked raising an eyebrow and Uzume snorted loudly as she tried to fight back her laughter some more. Minato was not making it easy for her.
"Bu-bu…but whenever Takami talks about her son she keeps saying he's a useless boy with no spine and hasn't even talked to a woman yet?!" Kagari looked like his whole world was being turned upside down again as he stared at Minato in disbelief.
"My mom has been calling me useless ever since I was five years old. Also you know what she's like. You think I'd be able to survive if I ever stood up for myself against her? Besides I have barely spoken to her in the last year and haven't seen her in person in four years so how would she know anything about what I'm like now instead of what I was like two years ago?" Minato asked dryly as he stared at Kagari and then he turned to Miya again.
"I am so sorry you have to put up with this idiot with a mom fetish. I promise I'll make sure he doesn't try anything with you Landlady-sama." Minato said making Uzume cackle while Miya laughed lightly as she waved away the idea of Kagari trying something with her.
"Oh no need to worry. I am quite able to protect myself. Besides I doubt Kagari-san would want an old widow like me." Miya said and Minato's eyebrows shot up at that.
"Widow? But you're like twenty?" Minato looked very confused by that and Miya chuckled slightly.
"How sweet of you to say so but I'm actually twenty six." Miya said smiling at him and making Minato give Kagari a suspicious side eye.
"Considering his penchant for older women I'm still not sure how safe you are with this deviant around." Minato said making Kagari splutter and put him in a headlock.
"Where do you get off saying something like that?! You're like seventeen and you do the same work I do!" Kagari said and Minato was not the least bit bothered by the headlock.
"Correction I am nineteen and unlike you I never sleep with any of the clients. Merely flirt." Minato said making Kagari scowl at him.
"Then how do we know you aren't going to flirt with Miya-san then?!" Kagari demanded looking pleased as if he won the argument with that.
"Do you want me to flirt with you ma'am?" Minato asked looking at Miya who shook her head with her sweet smile on her face and the hannya starting to appear behind her.
"This old widow is off the market. Please don't try or else you will have to be…punished…" Miya said and Minato barely batted an eye at the sight of the Hannya mask.
"Neat trick. And sorry but I'm not into S and M or Pain play. That is definitely more Kagari-sans' thing." Minato said making Uzume double over laughing again and there was definite laughter coming from upstairs while Miya looked surprised and a bit scandalized and Kagari choked on his own tongue.
"How are you not scared of the damned Hannya?" Kagari asked in disbelief and horror as he stared at Minato.
"You know my mom. I have a younger sister just like her and my mom gets it from her mom who raised me and my sister both. Not to mention that lady that keeps trying to kiss me while drunk and who almost disemboweled my landlord when she found out about him and his buddies attacking me. Or that tsundere with the sword. I'm used to strong dangerous and powerful women who scare the living hell out of most people." Minato said flatly and Kagari had a bad feeling about this.
"Drunk lady and tsundere with a sword?" Kagari parroted and Minato shrugged his shoulders.
"Some lady in a really short outfit who almost always is drunk or has a sake bottle in her hand. She keeps trying to kiss me and call me some weird word but I barely pay attention to it after the last few months. Besides she got there with Sword Tsundere just after I finished beating my landlord and his buddies. She nearly gutted them looking more sober and pissed than anyone I've ever met. The Tsundere with the sword is some lady wearing another fetish outfit who tried killing me with that sword of hers when we met and then tried to kiss me after I managed to dodge and evade her before decking her to get her to leave me the hell alone. She's the one who carted me to the hospital after the fight and I thought she was going to cut down half of Tokyo in her rush." Minato said shrugging his shoulders at that as if it were an everyday thing.
"What the hell is up with you and the women you attract?" Kagari asked after a moment of staring silently at Minato.
"If you ever find out let me know." Minato said bluntly with a simple shrug.
"But if you'll excuse me Landlady-sama I'll go get my things from my apartment to bring here if you don't mind having me still." Minato said as he began to leverage himself up, Kagari quickly helping him up so that he wouldn't hurt himself by accident.
"I'd be happy to have you Minato-kun. I get the feeling you'll definitely make things more exciting for this old inn again. Please take Kagari-san with you to get your things. It wouldn't do well to make yourself worse." Miya said standing as well and bowing to the young man who bowed back. Kagari nodded, he was going to help Minato anyways whether Miya asked or told him to or not.
"Besides…" Here Miya gave a small teasing grin as she looked at her only paying tenant.
"It'd do well for you to have some bonding time with your future tou-san wouldn't it?"
Kagari nearly lit on fire with how hard and fast he blushed. Uzume was once more cackling on the floor and Minato grinned wickedly back at her.
"I think you and I are going to get along wonderfully Landlady-sama!"
Kagari wondered if it was too late to run screaming in the other direction.