Four

A week after the appointment, Rory and Jess had grown a little more accustomed to their new reality. They'd spent the past few days settling into the concept of becoming parents, admiring the photos of their blob and imagining great futures for him or her. So, they made their way to the bookstore. Though it was a favorite low-key date spot of theirs, this visit was spent finding every book on pregnancy and early parenthood they could find.

Once they'd each collected a large stack of supposedly informative books, they found a quiet corner in the back and made themselves at home on the floor. As they read, the bliss of ignorance slowly began to drift away. Horror stories about birth complications, extreme pregnancy symptoms, awful parenting advice, and more. Jess had just finished skimming a particularly awful-sounding book about hands-off parenting, including advice to let your newborn "cry it out" and that too much affection spoils your child, when he looked up and saw the color in Rory's face had drained and her wide eyes rapidly scanning the pages of book of pregnancy tips.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to pass out."

Rory tore her eyes away from the book and looked up at Jess.

"Pregnancy is horrifying!" she whispered.

Jess repressed the urge to laugh. "Anything you wanna share with the class?"

Rory scooched over to him, bringing her book with her. "Okay, first off, it somehow escaped my mind that I am literally housing another human inside of me. Which sounds great in theory but it's pretty disturbing if you think about too hard! But also, my body is going to change. Permanently. My feet and nose could grow. And I could have heartburn and nosebleeds and there's something called lightning crotch, which I'm pretty sure is about as pleasant as it sounds. Then there's the whole ejecting the previously mentioned human out of a very small hole. Only, get this, that hole grows! And stretches! Enough to fit the head through! All of which is a very painful process from what I've heard! Mom always talked about how it felt like doing the splits over a crate of dynamite but I kind of hoped it was dramatized for effect! But now I'm not so sure, because oh my God this is terrifying!" Rory was almost panting by the time she finished. "Oh, yeah, also apparently I get out of breath easily now. Not great for a habitual blabbermouth," she finished with a pout.

Jess did his best to keep his face neutral as Rory went on, but he was truly appalled at a lot of the things Rory had mentioned, if only because she had to experience it all.

"I'm… sorry?" he said, lacking any words of real comfort.

He shrank back as Rory aggressively pointed a finger at him.

"After all this, you are not coming near me for a very long time."

It was Jess's turn to pout. "But…"

"Nope! We can talk about before the baby's born, because apparently it's safe to have sex while you're pregnant. But after, no more!" She laughed bitterly. "That is, if you're even going to be attracted to me when I'm huge and sweaty and exhausted…"

"Okay, hold on, we are not going to skim over that thing about me not finding you attractive. Because if you think any of what you said is going to make me less attracted to you, you are very wrong."

Rory's expression softened. "How do you know that?"

"Because, Rory. You're you. I'm not just attracted to your body. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're hot," he said, smirking as Rory blushed and rolled her eyes. "But I'm attracted to all of you – your brain, your heart, your laugh, everything. No matter what changes in the next nine months, I will always find you attractive."

Rory smiled a little shyly. "I'm gonna hold you to that when I'm growing extra body hair and waddling around like a penguin."

"I'm sure you'll be an adorable, hairy penguin," he said, grasping Rory's chin and pulling her face towards him to kiss her.

Rory had just picked up another book when her phone chimed, alerting her to a text. When she read it, a smile broke out on her face.

"Lane and Zack are home from their honeymoon!"

Her brow furrowed suddenly.

Jess smiled. "You wanna tell her, don't you?"

Rory smiled. "Yeah. Are you okay with that? I know we wanted to wait, but…"

"Tell Lane, Rory. I told Matt and Chris, you already told Paris, Lane should know too. Then we'll hold off until second trimester to tell everyone else. Lane can keep a secret, right?"

Rory laughed and looked at him indignantly. "Hi, have you met Lane? She kept her whole life a secret from her mom for eighteen years." She paused. "Jess, what about your mom? Should she know…"

"No," Jess cut her off, his expression closing off. "I'll tell Liz eventually. Just not yet."

"Why?" Rory asked quietly.

Jess shook his head. "Look, Rory… my relationship with Liz is barely a relationship. She seems great now, but it's like she wants to pretend that everything's all hunky dory and that nineteen years of her being a crappy mom just don't exist anymore. I'm not ready to put that aside all the way. So, for now, I need her to stay out of the loop. Okay?"

Rory nodded understandingly. "Okay."

"While we're on the subject… what about your dad?"

Rory's eyes widened slightly. "To be totally honest, I forgot we need to tell him."

"You talk to him, right?" Jess asked.

"Sort of, occasionally. We haven't talked in a while, though. Sherry moved to Paris, then his dad died… I think he's probably trying to figure a lot out."

There was that hint of sadness and loneliness in Rory's voice as she talked about her father. It seemed that, yet again, he'd chosen his "new life" over her.

Jess sighed. "Okay, we'll wait to tell him until you're ready."

Rory smiled gratefully before a look of realization came over her face.

"What about Jimmy?"

Jess hadn't even considered telling Jimmy until right then. They barely talked, mostly on holidays. It wasn't like Jimmy felt like Jess's dad. But, maybe there was some biological right to be made aware when your son was expecting a baby, even when you barely knew said son?

"I don't know. He'll probably find out eventually, but…" he trailed off.

Rory reached over and held Jess's hand. "Okay, just think about it."

Jess nodded.

"And we wait a few weeks to tell my grandparents."

"Yeah…" Jess whispered, gnawing in his stomach growing at the thought of telling the Gilmores he'd thrown off the plan.

Suddenly, Rory's stomach growled loudly, bringing them both back to the present.

"I take it it's lunchtime?" Jess asked with a smirk.

Rory blushed. "Apparently. I should probably eat now so I can keep at least something down."

Jess nodded, standing up and abandoning the various parenting books surrounding him.

"Find anything good?" Rory asked, standing up.

Jess shook his head and wrinkled his nose. "Nah, all crap. I'll keep looking though," he said, smiling. "What sounds good for lunch?"

Rory grinned. "The blob wants Indian food."

Jess grimaced. "Aw, really? You're pulling the baby card to convince me to get Indian?"

Rory nodded proudly. "Is it working?"

Jess frowned. "Yes…" he mumbled, leading them out of the bookstore.

"Ha! Hey, maybe this pregnant thing won't be so bad after all."

Later that evening, however, Rory changed her mind. After two hours of becoming best friends with her bathroom floor, Jess acting as her pillow in between rounds of vomiting, the negative side of pregnancy settled back in, and she never wanted to see Indian food ever again.

Once she felt safe to leave the bathroom and to curl up in bed, she and Jess retreated to her room, not without stopping to talk to Paris on the way. Paris had appointed herself as Rory's home nurse, making sure Rory's symptoms were normal and that Rory had the things she needed to keep herself and baby safe and healthy. Sure, it was overwhelming at times, but Rory was truly grateful for Paris's dedication.

Once in bed, Jess had thrown himself into a book and Rory sat texting Lane, working out plans to see each other.

"Hey," she said, turning to Jess.

"Hm?" Jess said distractedly, his mind obviously still within the pages of his novel.

Rory took his book from him.

"Hey!" he said, looking annoyed.

"How would you feel about a trip to Stars Hollow tomorrow?"

Jess's annoyance turned to surprise. "Really? Why?"

"Well, I was hoping Lane could come here, but she and Zack are recovering from the parasite they got in Mexico, so she's not up to driving."

Jess cringed. "Wow, parasite on your honeymoon. That sucks."

"No kidding. So, I want to go there, but I only want to see Lane. I don't want to run into… anyone else."

Jess nodded understandingly.

"But also, I want Luke to have a copy of the ultrasound. So, could you run interference for me and be my delivery guy?"

Jess smirked. "What's in it for me?"

"Oh, I'm sure I could find a way to repay you," Rory said flirtatiously as she abandoned her phone on the nightstand. She crawled onto his lap and pressed a kiss to his cheek, another to his lips.

"So, is that a yes?"

Jess kissed her again. "Yeah, sure, whatever," he mumbled distractedly, throwing the book aside and pulling her towards him. He froze suddenly. "You sure you're up to this? Like, you feel okay?"

Rory smiled softly and nodded, combing her fingertips through his hair. "Any pukiness I felt earlier is gone."

"And you're sure it's safe with the baby?"

Rory nodded. "Even says so in the pamphlet that Dr. Gunderson gave me."

Jess smiled. "Well then who am I to argue with Dr. Gunderson's pamphlet?" he whispered, running his fingers through her hair, and reaching to kiss her with no plan to come up for air anytime soon.

Throughout the entire thirty-minute drive to Stars Hollow, Rory fidgeted anxiously. She was there to see Lane and only Lane. Maybe Zack if he was there, or even Brian, but her focus was her best friend. She wasn't going to go anywhere else or see anyone else. Jess would go update Luke on how things were going, Rory would catch up with Lane, and then they'd drive back to New Haven. Everything would be fine. She just had to keep telling herself that.

Jess reluctantly dropped Rory off at Lane and Zack's apartment, kissing her briefly before Rory got out of the car and headed up the steps to the front door and into the house. Jess frowned, his own stress building as he drove off in the direction of the diner.

Rory let herself into the house and called out a greeting, hearing a faint and sad-sounding return of her greeting from Lane's bedroom. Rory made her way through the house, knocking on Lane's bedroom door and letting herself in. She found Lane curled up on the bed, looking haggard.

"Hey there, Mrs. Van Gerbig!" she said cheerfully.

"Hi," Lane said.

Rory frowned. "Whoa, that was not a happy hi."

"I'm not a happy Lane," she replied.

"Aw, no! You just got back from your honeymoon! You should be thrilled!" The realization dawned on her as she sat down on the bed next to Lane. "Oh, wait, duh, the parasites. I'm so sorry, Lane. Did the honeymoon totally suck?"

Lane shifted and sat upright. "Yes. It was miserable. Turns out, the ocean-view hotel that we thought we got for cheap was a crappy spare room in this guy, Pedro's, apartment. And it was nowhere near the ocean."

"No!"

"Yes! We had to take three different busses to get to any kind of beach, and then… ugh…" Lane hid her face in her hands.

"What? Lane what is it?"

She looked at Rory bashfully. "Well, that's where we decided to, you know, have our wedding night…"

Rory's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh."

"Yep."

"That sounds… not great."

"Oh, trust me, it was not! Sand was everywhere, and I mean everywhere…"

Rory grimaced.

"Then some creep came and tried to watch, and there were shellfish which Zack is apparently deathly afraid of and just… it was all around bad."

"Oh no, Lane!"

"Then a few days later Zack starts puking because he accidentally drank the water and got a parasite, then a few days after that I get the parasite, and the rest of the honeymoon was spent eating stale saltines in bed while Pedro and his buddies rambled in Spanish and played loud music in the next room."

"Oh my God, Lane, that's awful! I'm so sorry! How are you guys feeling now?"

Lane's face flushed. "Well, Zack's fine now."

"Okay, and how are you?" Rory asked her friend, eyeing her curiously.

"Well, my parasite symptoms were lasting longer than Zack's. So I went to the doctor this morning."

"And?"

Lane flopped back on the bed. "I'm pregnant," she whispered to the ceiling.

Rory's jaw dropped. "Shut up."

"I can't."

"No!" Rory's amusement at the situation built.

"Yes!"

"You're kidding!"

"Oh, I wish I was!"

Rory couldn't help it. She burst into hysterical laughter.

Lane sat up, glaring at Rory. "Hey, this is so not funny! I'm not ready to be a mom! I barely know how to be a me!"

"Oh my God, Lane, it is funny, here," she said, pulling the ultrasound photo out of her pocket and handing it to Lane. Lane looked at it confusedly.

"What's this?"

"A sonogram picture," Rory explained through her giggles.

"Who's is it?"

Rory only laughed harder.

Suddenly, the surprised recognition showed on Lane's face.

"No!" she cried, a bewildered smile growing on her face.

Rory nodded, holding her stomach as the laughter made her muscles seize. Lane joined her in laughter.

"This is crazy!" Lane said through her giggles.

"Totally crazy!" Rory agreed.

"We're both pregnant?!"

"Apparently as kids when we said we'd do everything together, we really meant it."

The two friends eventually caught their breath, the importance of the moment settling on them like a blanket.

"How's Jess taking it?" Lane asked quietly.

"He's scared, but he's doing okay with it, I think. What about Zack?"

Lane looked away bashfully.

Rory's eyes widened. "You haven't told him?"

"No…"

"Lane!"

"What? I found out today! He's at work!" she cried defensively.

"I shouldn't know before he does! He's your husband!"

"But you were here, and you're my best friend, and I needed to not be the only one who knew!"

Rory softened. "I get that."

"Who did you tell first?"

"Jess."

Lane rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Wow, way to make me feel worse."

"No, I didn't mean it like that," Rory laughed. "He came home and found me with the test like five minutes after I took it."

Lane paused, taking a deep breath. "How did you feel when you found out?"

Rory chuckled. "Terrified."

"And now?"

"Terrified, but also a little stronger."

Lane nodded. "That's good to know. How did Jess react?"

"At first he was just kind of dumbstruck. Which, hey, me too. He kind of freaked out later, but he's been so great and so comforting."

Lane looked concerned. "Freaked out? Like how?"

"I found him in the bathroom floor at like two in the morning and he'd kind of… shut down. Wouldn't talk to me." Rory winced. "You know Jess, he doesn't really talk about things – not right away at least. We've been talking more about how equally freaked we are since then."

"And he's less freaked now?"

"I… I think so." Rory pondered. "Actually, I'm not sure."

"I would check in with him. If you're still freaked, he probably is too."

"Yeah. Hey, how do you think Zack will react?"

Lane laughed. "Honestly, he might just freeze in place – just shut down like a robot with an off switch. You remember how he reacted when I told him I liked him." She frowned. "God, what if he totally flips?"

"Well, whether he shuts down or flips, I know he'll come around eventually!" Rory reassured.

Lane sighed in frustration. "We barely got to be married and now we're going to be parents. I don't know what babies need! I'm flipping, he can't flip too!"

"Lane, breathe. You have nine months until the baby carriage and the diapers and everything. You don't need to figure it all out right away."

"You say that because you have someone to talk to about all this! Someone who's been through it and knows what to do!"

Rory furrowed her brow. "Who?"

"Lorelai," Lane said as if were obvious.

Rory's stomach flipped. "Oh."

Lane's demeanor immediately changed. "Okay, my panic can wait. Have you not told Lorelai?"

Rory shook her head, avoiding eye contact. "No, I told her."

"And?"

Rory shifted uncomfortably. "And she didn't take it well. We're not talking."

"Oh, Rory… I'm so sorry."

Rory plastered on a small smile and shrugged. "It's fine. I'm looking ahead."

Lane looked at her dubiously. "Okay…"

"Really, Lane. I just… don't want to talk about it anymore," Rory said with an air of finality.

Lane nodded. "Okay, that's fine."

"And by the way, I'm a tiny bit further along than you. I'll experience things first and then tell you about them to prepare you. Kind of like your pregnancy guru who can see into your very near future," she said with a smile.

Lane grinned. "Thanks, I appreciate that." She paused and sighed. "This whole thing is totally nuts, right?"

"Oh, totally," Rory laughed.

While Rory was at Lane's, Jess went to the diner to surprise Luke. As he entered, the bell jingling above his head, he could tell he had accomplished his task when Luke noticed him and blinked as if to make sure Jess wasn't an illusion. Jess nodded his greeting and walked over to the counter, thankful for the lunchtime rush that let him blend into the crowd.

"Hey, Luke."

"Jess. Hey. Did I know you were coming?"

Jess shook his head. "Nope, just thought I'd drop by."

"From Philadelphia?" Luke asked with a confused expression.

Right, they hadn't talked to Luke since they'd decided Jess would live with Rory for a few weeks.

"Ah, no. Um, staying with Rory in New Haven for a couple weeks. She's at Lane's right now."

"Oh, gotcha." Luke nodded.

"Um… can I talk to you? Alone?" Jess asked quietly.

Luke nodded and shouted to Caesar that he'd be back before walking up the stairs to the apartment. Jess was surprised to find it looked lived in – the bed unmade, freshly cleaned dishes drying in the dish drainer.

"Are you sleeping here?" Jess asked as he looked around the apartment.

"Uh, yeah, for now," Luke said, brushing crumbs off of the table and avoiding eye contact.

"Why not at the house?" he asked, hoping he didn't already know the answer.

"Nothing, just an early delivery I had to be here for."

Jess rounded the bed and found Luke's open duffle bag. He stuck his head in the bathroom and found all of Luke's toiletries and a wet towel. "Luke. There's more than enough for one night here. What's going on?"

Luke sighed heavily, putting his hands in his pockets. "Lorelai and I, we're just…," he trailed off.

Jess's stomach sank and he hung his head. "You're fighting. About Rory and me. And the baby."

Luke simply nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.

Jess ran his hand through his hair as a string of expletives rushed through his head. "Jeez, Luke…" He shook his head. "I feel a little responsible," he admitted quietly, walking over and joining Luke at the table.

Luke waved dismissively. "Not your fault. We just have… different opinions. We'll work through it."

"Still, I'm sorry. For what it's worth, your reaction seriously helped us freak out a little less. So, thank you."

Luke nodded. "How are you guys?"

"I have no idea how to answer that," Jess said with a hollow chuckle.

Luke eyed him curiously. "Why?"

Jess paused to try and attempt to gather his thoughts.

"I'm excited," he said, a shy smile sneaking onto his face. "More than I ever thought I would be. Because in about eight months, there's gonna be this little person that's the perfect combination of Rory and me, and that blows my mind. But at the same time… I'm scared as hell, Luke. How am I supposed to be a father? How am I supposed to be responsible for this tiny, helpless thing?"

Luke smirked. "Sounds about right."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks a lot Uncle Luke. Real encouraging."

"Jess, no one's ever ready to become a parent. How do you think I felt when I found out about April?"

"Hey, at least she isn't a baby, she already knows how to, like, function. Also, you're in a lot better place in life to be a dad than I am."

Luke shook his head. "Doesn't matter in the end. All the sudden, I had a kid. And it wasn't a choice as to whether or not I was going to be involved or not – I knew as soon as I saw the results of that paternity test."

Jess nodded. "Yeah. That's about how I felt when I saw the positive pregnancy tests," he said quietly.

"It's normal to be scared. But like I said before. You guys are smart and capable. You'll be okay."

"Thanks, Luke." Jess smiled slightly. "Rory's right, you're gonna be a good grandpa."

Luke blinked in surprise. "Grandpa?" he asked hoarsely.

Jess smirked. "Well, yeah. I mean, you're Rory's stepdad and you're…" He paused, suddenly feeling awkward. "You're my uncle. There's no doubt that you're Grandpa."

Luke looked down at his lap and chuckled. "Thanks, kid."

"Wanna see the baby?" Jess asked shyly.

Luke's head snapped up. "You have pictures?"

"Rory had her first ultrasound last week. She's eight weeks now, so only another month until the second trimester." Jess took the sonogram out of his pocket.

"Wow, you've obviously learned some stuff in the past couple weeks." He gazed down at the picture as Jess slid it across the table to him. "Wow… would you look at that…" he said in amazement.

Jess chuckled. "There's not much to look at yet, really."

"Still… it's pretty freakin' amazing if you ask me."

Jess smiled proudly as he watched his uncle become transfixed with the blurry image he'd given him, looking at it as if it was some great artistic masterpiece that you could look at for hours and still not fully appreciate.

Suddenly their silence was broken by a crash downstairs.

"Luke!" Caesar called up the stairs.

Luke narrowed his eyes in frustration. "Coming, Caesar!" He stood up, apologizing and trying to hand the image back to Jess.

"No, keep it. We got lots of copies. That one's yours."

A smile briefly showed on Luke's face before fading. "Uh, you don't happen to have one for…"

Jess looked down, shaking his head. "No. I imagined you would be able to show it to her, but…"

Luke nodded. "I'll work something out."

"Thanks, Luke. And… thanks."

Luke looked at him, puzzled but appreciative. "You're welcome."

Another crash sounded downstairs.

"Dammit… Caesar! What the hell's going on down here?" Luke bellowed as he ran down the stairs.

Jess followed down the stairs and left the diner with a wave goodbye. He walked in the direction of the car with his head down and turned the corner, colliding with someone walking the opposite direction.

"Oh, sorry, I…" He looked up into bright blue eyes that filled lit a fire of fury inside him. "Lorelai."

"Jess. Hi. You're… here," Lorelai said awkwardly.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Luke."

"Right," Lorelai said, looking down. "Um, how's—"

"No," Jess interrupted, his eyes blazing. "You don't get to ask me how she is. If you want to know, you call her."

"I can't just—"

"If you want to ever speak to her again, you need to get over yourself and pick up the damn phone," Jess seethed.

"Hey, now wait a minute!" Lorelai spat.

"No, Lorelai. You hurt her. Badly." He paused and glanced around to watch for listeners and lowered his voice. "I'm having to comfort my pregnant girlfriend as she cries every night because her best friend isn't there to support her during the scariest thing she's ever experienced and because her mother insinuated that she was a mistake and that her kid is too. Now, I don't know about you, but personally, I've heard that a lot, and let me tell you, it never hurts any less. So until you realize how badly you screwed up and apologize, you don't get to know how she is or how the baby is. And I've got a pretty good feeling that you're gonna regret not being there for her through the pregnancy, because you're gonna miss a hell of a lot."

He spun on his heel and walked away before doubling back and looking her directly in her tear-filled eyes. "Luke has a copy of the ultrasound picture. Talk to your husband if you want to see it."

Jess turned and walked back to the car as fast as he could, leaving Lorelai frozen on the sidewalk with a stunned look on her face. By the time he climbed in the car, he was still shaking with rage and adrenaline.

He leaned his forehead on the steering wheel, reminding himself to take calm, even breaths. It was possible he had just screwed everything up, made things even worse. But there was also a possibility he had told Lorelai something hard she needed to hear, and the hope that that could change things for the better is the only thing that kept Jess from exploding.

His breathing slowed and his anger began to mellow a little as he got a text from Rory, asking to be picked up from Lane's. He turned the key in the ignition and drove towards Lane's, wondering how on earth he was going to tell Rory about what just happened.

A/N: Grandpa Luke warms my heart, as does Jess calling Lorelai out on her crap. Also, yes, keeping certain canon events like Lane's pregnancy in the story!