Nine

Rory spent the drive to the doctor's office in an anxious and excited silence. It had been over a month since they'd seen their blob, and Rory couldn't wait to see it again, so excited to see how much it had grown.

Going into the checkup this time, she felt more prepared than she before. More accustomed to the concept of having a small human inside of her that would give her a new title and change her life forever. It was still a relatively terrifying idea, but now her terror was drowned out by elation and curiosity. This time, as they sat in the waiting room, she felt more at ease with the process of the appointment, more comfortable with being surrounded by pregnant women in the room with them.

But, of course, she was still nervous. Wasn't sure if she ever wouldn't be. And because of that, she was ever so thankful for Jess's dedication to being present for every appointment.

Before much time had passed, Rory was called back, the regular checks were made, and the doctor entered the room, bringing with her the ever-present sense of calm and confidence that seemed to surround her.

"Hey there, you two! How are we doing today, Rory?" Dr. Gunderson greeted.

Rory grinned at her. "Good, actually. Less nervous than last time."

Dr. Gunderson returned her grin. "I'm glad to hear that. And Jess, how are you?"

Jess smiled at the doctor. "Great, thanks," he said, albeit a little quiet.

"Hey, we got words out of him this time!" Dr. Gunderson joked, resulting in a chuckle from Rory and a reluctant smirk from Jess.

"Alright, symptoms. Old, new, changes? Give me all the gory details, young lady."

Rory explained her nausea had decreased quite a bit, she was starting to get her energy back, and that she was officially showing. Dr. Gunderson made the notes in Rory's chart and then turned back to Rory with a smile.

"Sounds like everything is right on track with Mom, should we check in on Baby?"

Rory nodded excitedly and laid down on the table, adjusting her pants to give the ultrasound wand access to her lower stomach. Jess made his way to the head of the exam table and smiled at Rory, holding the hand that Rory reached out to him.

As Dr. Gunderson moved the probe over Rory's stomach, the image showed up on the screen. Jess's eyes widened at the sight in front of him. What was once a shapeless blob now had a nose and a mouth and arms and legs and actually looked like a...

"It's a baby!" Rory exclaimed.

Dr. Gunderson let out a deep, joyful belly laugh as Rory blushed.

"I mean, I know it's a baby, duh, it's just… last time it looked like a blob. It looks like a baby now," Rory said in a hushed tone, kind of in disbelief that that was inside her.

Dr. Gunderson smiled. "Yeah, Baby's features started developing not long after your last appointment. He or she is about the size of a lime or lemon now."

Rory tried to picture a lemon. It felt so big and so small at the same time. Jess remained speechless. Both of them were kind of in awe at the sight of their not-quite-blob.

Then that whooshing sound returned, and Rory just about melted.

Her baby's heartbeat.

She was pretty sure it was one of the best things she'd ever heard. It was so fast and so unfamiliar, but it made her feel like she knew that tiny person growing inside her whenever she heard it. It was a force to be reckoned with, a sign that her baby was thriving.

With tears in her eyes, she tilted her head back to look at Jess, melting even further when she found that he looked even more stunned than he had at the last appointment. Even more overtaken by the sight and sound of their growing blob.

"Whoa…" he breathed, almost shaking his head in disbelief, his own eyes almost growing shiny at the sight.

Rory did her best to imprint the moment in her mind.

All too soon, the scan was over, and Rory was scheduling her next appointment and saying goodbye to Dr. Gunderson. They made their way to the car and climbed inside wordlessly, their attention going straight for the many copies of the ultrasound photo and just staring at it. Taking it in. Memorizing it.

"They're a whole person," Rory whispered amazedly. "They've got a nose and fingers and toes."

"Should we come up with a new nickname?" Jess asked with a smirk. "I feel like 'blob' isn't totally appropriate anymore."

Rory smiled at him. "I don't know, I kind of like blob still. Plus, what else would we refer to it as?"

"'Baby'?" Jess suggested.

"Oh, duh, the obvious," Rory laughed.

"We can stick with blob if you want to," Jess offered. "I'm good with whatever."

Rory smiled as she tried to memorize every blurry feature in the image in her hands. "Whatever works," she mumbled.

Jess smiled softly as he sighed, feeling himself relax a little as he studied the black and white image in his hand.

"Looking at that kind of makes everything feel okay, doesn't it?"

Rory looked at him, confused and concerned.

"Is something not okay?" she asked.

She could tell something was bothering Jess when they'd left the apartment. He had gone silent out of the blue, seemingly lost in his head and claiming fatigue, but Rory knew Jess well enough to know when something was off.

Jess pulled out of the parking lot and started the drive back to their apartment, shaking his head as an answer to her question.

"It's nothing, Rory."

"No, it's obviously something. It has been since you got here," Rory said. "Jess, tell me what's bothering you."

Jess sighed. "I guess… the move really affected me. More than I thought it would."

"Do you not want to move here?" Rory asked seriously. Not accusatory in any way, or even hurt. Just… as if she wanted a straight answer to her question.

"No, I'm really excited to be here. I just… Matt and Chris were there for me when I was in not great place." He shifted in his seat, visibly uncomfortable with being forced to verbalize his feelings. "There's just a lot happening, and I guess it's catching up to me. But I am happy to be here, really.

"Okay," Rory said, nodding understandingly. "As long as that's all it is."

Jess simply nodded in return.

"It's okay to feel sad about moving. Matt and Chris are your family like Lane and Paris are my family. I'd feel pretty sad if I had to move far away from them, even if was for a reason that made me happy."

Jess offered her a smile. It was small, and only partially reached his eyes, but it comforted Rory the tiniest bit.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Rory put her hand on Jess's face.

"Of course. But, Jess, I need you to talk to me if you feel freaked out about any of this, okay?"

Jess nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Because it freaks me out too and I can't be alone in that."

Jess looked surprised. "Really? You seem so excited about it all the time now."

Rory laughed. "Are you kidding? I'm a senior in college. I'm going to be a mom before I get my bachelor's degree. There is a whole person inside of me. It's totally scary and weird."

Rory noticed Jess's shoulders relax slightly.

"We need to talk to each other when we get scared, okay?" she asked quietly, still getting the feeling that Jess wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Okay," Jess said quietly, his focus firmly on the road in front of him.

Rory settling back in her seat, glancing at Jess out of the corner of her eye the whole drive back to the apartment. There was something gnawing in her gut, telling her that there was more to Jess's concerns, and she didn't like it at all.

Once home, Rory packed an overnight bag and was off on her way to her movie night with Lorelai, albeit a little reluctantly considering the abrupt mood change she'd noticed in Jess. But Jess insisted that Rory needed the time with Lorelai and that he needed to spend the evening fully moving into his new home. So once Rory was out the door, Jess set to work unpacking the boxes he had room for.

Soon, however, he ran out of space and decided a trip to the store was absolutely necessary. So, he begrudgingly got himself out the door and went to pick out some cheap bookshelves and get some groceries – food for himself and pancake mix to replenish what he had apparently and inadvertently stolen from Paris.

He meandered through the aisles, trying to find the cheapest possible bookcase and desk. As he was wandering the aisles of self-assemble furniture, he noticed he wasn't far away from the apparel department. Without really being aware of what was happening, his feet took him in that direction and soon he was staring at a myriad of striped onesies all folded on a display table.

He tried to picture them on a baby that shared his and Rory's features – he'd seen that nose on the ultrasound earlier that day; it was tiny and blurry, but it was definitely Rory's nose – but he couldn't conjure up a solid image.

He felt so incredibly out of place as he looked around. He was surrounded by various tiny outfits covered in cutesy phrases or soft colors or delicate patterns or baby animals, all in slightly differing degrees of small. Everything was so small. He was pretty sure he'd never get over how small babies really were. He numbly walked through the racks of clothes before his eyes fell on a little, tiny pair of black Converse.

A smile snuck its way onto his face. Even he had to admit, they were freaking adorable. He'd never considered baby clothes to be cute before. Hell, he'd never given baby clothes any thought at all.

But those shoes…

It was if his hand had a mind of its own. He picked up the shoes and put them in his cart. He didn't care how much they were or what anyone thought about him buying them. He was pretty sure babies didn't even need shoes, but that didn't matter right now. His kid needed those shoes.

When he finally made it back to the apartment, he placed the shoes on the counter before color coding his groceries and having a quick dinner before spending the rest of the evening avoiding Paris and Doyle by assembling and strategically rearranging bookcases in what was now his and Rory's room. He was just thankful for his headphones to block out his new roommates' activities. He didn't know what they were doing, but he didn't want to know.

As it got later and sleep started to creep up on him, he texted Rory a quick goodnight message, not wanting to interrupt her time with her mother, and then climbed into bed. Once in bed, though, he couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in the bed that felt entirely too empty without Rory sleeping next to him. For someone who lived by a code of solidarity for a large amount of his life, there was a strange comfort in feeling off in the absence of another person.

After lying in bed for God knows how long, finding no rest despite being exhausted, he glanced at the clock and groaned when he saw it was after two in the morning. Sighing in defeat, he turned on the light and grabbed his laptop. If he couldn't sleep so he might as well take advantage of the quiet apartment and write. He'd barely had any time or focus to spare on his next novel recently and he thought that maybe getting some words down on the page would help clear his mind of the stresses that came with moving, altering his job, and expecting a baby.

But, of course, thinking about getting his mind off of his stresses only reminded him of them, distracting him and stressing him out further.

Before he knew what was happening, he had a notebook open next to him on the bed and instead of writing, he was looking up what necessities that babies needed when they were born and then searching for part time jobs in the area in order to bring in a little extra money. He was researching apartments and living costs everywhere from New Haven to New York. He was looking for openings for journalists and editors and any other position that could pertain to his and Rory's skillsets before it occurred to him he didn't even know where Rory wanted to live or what exactly she wanted to do.

Rory had asked him to talk to her. When he was stressed, when there was something bothering him. But he couldn't bring himself to weigh her down with his concerns. She already had so much on her plate, and he couldn't bear adding even more pressure to her, not when she had school and the paper and family drama and her own pregnancy fears. He knew they probably needed to talk about what their future looked like, about his worries about parenthood, but he had absolutely no idea how to broach the subject. So, he took it upon himself to figure out a plan. He'd take care of it.

As his head ached with worries and fears and discombobulated concepts of plans for the future, he noticed light filtering through the blinds. It was then he realized his back was also aching and his eyelids were heavy with sleep, and he cast aside his laptop and notebook with a yawn, climbing under the covers and passing out as the clock struck six.

Hours later, when he awoke, it felt as if he'd just closed his eyes. His phone beeped on the nightstand next to him, and he grabbed in blindly, flipping it open and finding a missed call from Rory. Listening to the voicemail, he heard her rambling happily about seeing Lane after leaving her mother's and that she'd be back that evening for their date. He smiled as the message ended with a chipper "love you" and it gave him just enough energy to lift his head and look at the clock, only to see that it was already after noon. He groaned as he got out of bed and got dressed, preparing to face the roommates he could hear in the kitchen.

He dressed and opened the bedroom door and ventured to the kitchen, ignoring Paris's inquisitive glances from her place at the table as he poured himself a bowl of the cereal he'd bought and put a green sticker on the previous night.

"Wow, Mariano, you look like crap," Paris said.

Jess glared at her as he leaned against the counter and ate his Cheerios. "Good morning to you too, Paris."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Enough," he said shortly, still not interested in conversation.

"Sorry if we kept you up last night," Doyle said, not looking up from his paper. "We were being pretty loud…"

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there," Jess interrupted looking disgusted. "I'm so not interested in talking about your guys' 'activities' last night," he said with a halfhearted gesture of air quotes with his cereal-free hand.

"Relax, perv," Paris said with a smirk. "We were practicing Krav Maga."

Paris's explanation only confused Jess further.

"What?"

"Krav Maga," Doyle said as if it explained everything. When Jess raised his eyebrows to indicate he had absolutely no clue what was being discussed, Doyle explained further. "It's a form of martial arts. Our class is going on a practice retreat this weekend so we were getting in some extra practice in order to defeat everyone else in the tournament tomorrow."

"O…kay," Jess said.

He had an explanation he mostly understood and was officially content without receiving any more information. Honestly, he was just excited to hear that he and Rory would have the apartment to themselves for the rest of the weekend.

"Hey, who's cereal is that?" Paris asked suddenly, pointing aggressively at the box of Cheerios on the counter.

"Check the sticker," Jess said past a mouthful of food.

Paris laughed herself from her place and the table, practically ran to the counter, and picked it up, finding a little green circle on the back of it. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she tried to figure out how to connect the color green with the letter J.

"Jreen?" she asked, pronouncing the fake word with a bitter amusement.

Jess snorted.

"Guess again."

Paris shot a glare at Jess as she visibly searched her mind for what his color could be.

"Oh! Jade!" Doyle said happily from his spot at the table.

"And the martial artist gets it in one," Jess said, doing his best to hide the amused smirk that was trying to escape at the look on Paris's face.

"Oh shut up, jade so wasn't obvious," Paris grumbled as she practically stomped into her room.

Jess could barely contain the laughter that bubbled up in his chest as he finished his bowl of cheerios.

After that, Paris and Doyle soon left for their retreat with a quick goodbye. As soon as the door closed behind them, Jess breathed a sigh of relief.

They weren't awful roommates. Just intense.

But that being said, however long he ended up living with them would be too long.

Realizing he still had a few hours before Rory would be home, Jess made some coffee, turned on some music, and set up shop at the kitchen table to resume the research he'd put on pause early that morning. He'd just gotten in the zone, finally making progress on some budget and job ideas now that he had a few hours of sleep to help him think, when his phone rang.

He would have ignored it, but it was Luke and he didn't like to ignore calls from Luke anymore, so he turned of his music and answered the phone with a gruff, "Yeah?"

"Well, aren't we cheerful this afternoon."

Jess smirked. Giving up on the research for now, he closed his laptop.

"Sorry, mind was elsewhere. What can I do for you, Uncle Luke?"

"How many times do I have to tell you it's just Luke?"

"I don't know, Uncle Luke," Jess bantered as he put the laptop and notebook away.

"Would you stop, I'm not in the mood."

Jess picked up in the actual serious tone in Luke's voice and sobered.

"Sorry. What's going on?"

"Ah, well…"

Jess lost all desire to tease when he heard the tense, low tone of Luke's voice.

"Luke, gotta be honest, you're doing a bad job of telling me whatever's going on."

"This would have been easier if you'd come with Rory this weekend," Luke said with a sigh.

"I had to move my stuff in and get some work done. What would have been easier?"

"Is there any chance you can come now?"

Something was very off with his uncle, and it made Jess's shoulders go rigid.

"No, Rory will be home soon, and we have plans. What would have been easier?" he repeated.

"Jeez, your mom should really be the one to tell you…"

Jess furrowed his brow. "Liz? What's going on with Liz?" He squeezed his eyes shut as his stomach settled like a rock, imagining the worst possible scenarios that could involve his dear old mother. "If she's been lying about being clean, or if TJ pulled something, I swear to God, I—"

"Oh, Jess…" Luke said quietly, cutting off Jess's tirade. "No, she's fine."

Jess started breathing again.

"Way to scare the hell out of me," he mumbled. "Just tell me what's going on."

Jess heard Luke take a deep breath before speaking.

"She's pregnant."

Jess's jaw dropped.

"What?" he asked hoarsely.

"Seventh months along."

Jess sat in a chair at the kitchen table, his mind spinning at Luke's announcement.

She knew. When he was there to tell her about Rory's pregnancy, the few times they'd talked since then. She knew and she didn't tell him. He was going to have a sibling, and his mother didn't bother to share the news.

He wasn't entirely sure why he was surprised, though. This was just Liz being Liz.

"Jess?" Luke asked quietly. "You still there?"

Jess pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm here," he practically whispered. He cleared his throat. "How long have you known?"

Luke sighed. "A few months, give or take. She wouldn't let me tell you at first, then I thought you knew… when I found out she still hadn't told you, I may have yelled, which made her cry and she ended up asking me to tell you."

Jess sighed. He felt a little sick.

"So. She's giving motherhood a try again," he said bitterly.

"Jess…"

"She gonna hand this one off to you in seventeen years, too?" he snapped.

"Hey!" Luke bellowed into the phone.

"You know what, Luke, I gotta go. Tell Liz… I don't know. Tell her you told me, I guess. Bye."

He hung up the phone without another word and hung his head in his hands. He couldn't pin down a single thought or feeling. His whole body felt numb and tingly. He was pretty sure he was in shock.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he stood up and simply walked out the door. He didn't think to grab a jacket or keys or anything at all. He just needed out, the apartment feeling small and confining and suffocating as he processed his hurt. His anger. His fear for another child to be stuck with Liz as a mother.

Rory ducked out of the rain and into the apartment building, shaking off the water and making her way up the stairs. She was out of breath by the time she reached the top, but as she unlocked her front door she had a soft, content smile on her face. Her movie night sleepover with her mother had been perfect, she'd gotten to trade pregnancy gossip with Lane, who had her own shocking news, and now she was going to be going on a date with her live-in boyfriend.

Life wasn't so bad.

She opened the door to the apartment and walked in, only to find it dark and seemingly empty. She closed the door and gently placed her overnight bag on the floor, shrugging off her rain jacket and placing her umbrella on the kitchen counter.

"Jess?" she called, only to be met with a resounding silence. Paris had made it known that she and Doyle were going to be out of town, but Jess was supposed to be here. They had plans.

She moved through every room, looking for evidence of human life, only to find a dirty bowl in the sink with some cheerios stuck to the side and a small pool of leftover milk in the bottom and no sign that anyone had been there since the cereal had been eaten.

An uneasiness settled in her stomach, suddenly fearing the worst.

She tore her phone out of her pocket and speed-dialed Jess's number only for his phone to ring and vibrate on the kitchen table.

Her fear grew, her breath becoming shallow and her hands starting to shake slightly.

Something must have happened. An emergency of some sort. But what could have happened to make Jess leave without his phone or leaving a note or anything to signify that he was okay?

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening behind her made her heart jump into her throat and she reached for the umbrella, wielding it like a sort of bludgeoning weapon before turning to face the intruder. Her heartrate slowed only slightly when she found Jess standing in the doorway, his eyes wide and focused on the umbrella in her hand.

"Jess! Oh thank God," she said breathlessly, launching herself into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her haltingly and it was then Rory realized he was dripping wet. She extracted herself from his grasp.

"Oh my God, you're soaked! It's pouring, why weren't you wearing a coat? Where were you?"

"Um…" he stuttered, throwing his thumb over his shoulder. "I went for a walk."

Rory furrowed her brow.

"In the monsoon?"

"I didn't realize it was raining."

"Oh. Um, okay."

She eyed Jess in concern. He seemed spacy and there was a darkness cast over his face.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked quietly.

Jess nodded. "Yeah, fine."

"Okay… are you gonna go change?"

Jess blinked at her in confusion.

"Why?"

Rory was growing annoyed, her arms folded over her chest.

"Well, you're soaking wet for one. And for two, you don't exactly look ready to go."

"Go?"

"Our date?" she asked with an edge to her voice.

Jess squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hand back through his hair.

"Shit…" he mumbled. "Rory, I'm sorry, I…"

"What happened while I was at Mom's?" Rory demanded.

Jess shook his head in dismissal of Rory's question.

"Nothing, I'll go change and we'll go, it's fine."

"Stop! Cut the crap and tell me what's going on! You scared me to death when I got home, and you just weren't here. I come home, ready to go out with my boyfriend, blow off some steam for a night because we've been so stressed and busy lately and haven't had a normal night out in months. But instead, I come home to an empty apartment and your phone on the table! With no word from you, you were just gone. So what the hell? What's with the disappearing act?"

Jess rolled his eyes and moved past Rory to get a towel from the kitchen, grumbling a "nothing," on his way.

Rory scoffed and let her arms fall to her sides. "Fine. Don't talk. I'm going to bed." She picked up her bag and went towards her room when she heard Jess mumble something.

"What?" she asked coldly, spinning around to see Jess leaning with his hands planted on the counter, his head hung low.

"I said, Liz is pregnant," Jess mumbled again, albeit a little louder this time.

"Oh," Rory said quietly, suddenly speechless.

"Luke called today and told me that my mother is seven months pregnant."

Rory let her bag drop to the floor again. "Oh…"

"I guess it's better than what I thought Luke called to tell me when he mentioned Liz, because I was waiting for the news that she needed to go to rehab or that TJ wasn't the nice guy everyone thought he was."

Rory's heart started to break, her anger dissipating in a second.

"Jess…"

"I'm glad it wasn't either of those things, really," he said, shaking his head. "I don't even know why I'm so thrown by this. It's not like it affects me that much. I just… I keep flashing back to every time she came home drunk or high or brought home another piece-of-crap guy and now she's having another kid who might have to deal with that, too."

Rory's eyes started to sting as Jess spoke, but she stood frozen, unable to conjure any words that could possibly offer any sort of comfort.

"I want to believe she's better. I want to be happy for her. I… I want to believe she's not gonna give up on this one too." He sighed heavily. "I just can't help but expect her to hand this baby off to Luke eventually. Or, hell, to me." He looked up to meet Rory's teary eyes. "What if we end up raising my kid sibling because my whack job of a mother and her bonehead husband don't have it in them to be parents?" he asked quietly.

"We'll do what we have to do, Jess, but… she is sober now. She's in a good place, And TJ's not… terrible. Luke seems to think she's better, right?" Rory asked quietly, doing her best to keep her voice steady.

Jess nodded almost imperceivably. "Yeah. But I've seen her sober before…. it's never lasted this long, though, so maybe…" He paused and laughed humorlessly. "Real award-winning parents I've got. Liz, who didn't decide life was worth being sober for until her kid was out of her house, and Jimmy, who somehow thought showing up eighteen years later would make up for leaving." Jess shook his head and stared and his shoes. "How the hell am I supposed to raise a kid when those are the examples I had?" he whispered. "I don't know anything. This poor kid is stuck with a moron who doesn't know shit about being a father, I don't know how the hell it's supposed to turn out okay."

"Stop," Rory whispered. She pulled at the sleeves of her sweater and bit her lip to keep the tears at bay.

Jess looked up at Rory.

"What?"

"Stop talking about yourself like that."

Jess scoffed. "Am I wrong?"

"Yes. You are," she said in a low voice.

"I am the last person that should be a father, Rory! My own father ran out on me and my mom, so that's the shining example I have there! My mother at least stayed but she was wasted or gone most of the time, so it's not like I have a great parenting model there either! I have no idea what I'm doing! This baby is screwed!" he shouted, his voice breaking.

Rory crossed the living room to stand in front of him and cupped his face in her hands. "Jess, just because your parents sucked – because you're right, they did, they sucked – but that does not mean you will too. You are not your parents," she said firmly. "Ever since we found out I was pregnant, have you ever once considered leaving?"

"No," Jess answered quickly, his eyes wide in horror just at the thought.

"So, you're not following in Jimmy's footsteps," Rory whispered. "And you already prioritize my needs and the baby's needs over your own and you take care of us, so you're already on a better track than Liz."

He leaned into Rory's hand and looking down to avoid her piercing gaze, feeling too vulnerable.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing either, Jess. I don't think anyone does. If they did, they know a secret I don't and really, that's just not fair but I guess I'll have to deal."

Jess chuckled.

Rory kissed him lightly and he squeezed his eyes shut at the contact, savoring its feeling while not believing he deserved her affection.

"We're both probably gonna suck at being parents sometimes," Rory whispered.

Jess furrowed his brow. "That wasn't the pep talk I was anticipating."

Rory laughed and Jess savored the sound as it floated away, carrying with it a bit of the heaviness that had settled over them. "What I'm saying is, no matter what happens, we're in this together, through the good and the bad. Plus, we have Mom and we have Luke to ask for help during the times when we end up failing and need a little help."

Jess nodded wordlessly, not daring to trust his voice.

Rory glanced over Jess's shoulder and caught a glimpse of something lying on the counter. Her brows knit together in confusion as she saw that it was a pair of very small sneakers.

"What are those?" she asked quietly.

Jess blushed slightly and glanced at the items in question before answering.

"Baby shoes," he mumbled.

Rory's eyes welled with tears as her gaze shifted back to Jess.

"You bought Converse for the baby?" she whispered.

Jess shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know why, babies don't even need shoes, I just saw them and—"

Rory interrupted his ramblings by pressing her lips to his own. After recovering from the minor shock, Jess deepened the kiss, bringing his hands up into her hair and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. When Rory drew back, Jess was left with a bewildered and slightly dazed expression.

"What…?" he asked hoarsely.

"You bought shoes for the baby," she said, as if that explained everything.

"So?"

"You bought shoes for the baby, Jess. You're…" She paused to giggle, furthering Jess's confusion. "You're gonna be a great dad."

Jess's heart warmed despite not knowing how one thing could equal the other.

"How does buying shoes for someone who doesn't even need shoes make me a great dad?"

"Because, Jess. You saw something and obviously thought they were something we needed to have for the baby. Something silly and so freaking adorable I can't stand it."

"I'm still lost on how buying something qualifies me for parenting…"

Rory reached up and brushed the damp hair off of Jess's forehead.

"You already love this baby, Jess. You're thinking about them and caring for them and being there for them in so many ways. You don't even know them, and you love them. That's more than enough."

Jess shook his head slightly, still not fully convinced Rory's words were true.

"How do I know I won't totally screw this up? How are you so confident that I'm gonna be halfway decent at being a dad?" he asked quietly, haltingly, as if he were scared of the words themselves.

"Because, Jess. I know you. Maybe better than anyone. I know you're dedicated, and caring, and strong, and smart. And I think you're too scared of being your parents to ever become them. You're better than them in so many ways," she whispered. "And because through all of this, I've never once been scared that you won't always be there for me and the baby."

Jess had to take a deep breath and swallow the lump in his throat before speaking.

"I…" he said roughly, shaking his head. "I really don't deserve you."

Rory shrugged and smiled, still fiddling with the hair at his temple.

"Too bad, you're stuck with me."

Jess released a laugh that came out in a huff of air before tucking Rory's bangs behind her ear and cradling her jaw, pulling her forward and kissing her lightly. When he drew back, he rested his forehead against hers and nuzzled her nose with his.

Rory took a deep, shuddering sigh.

"I love you, Jess."

Jess sighed as Rory spoke against his cheek, his breath carrying the tension from his shoulders and the fear from his core.

She couldn't have known how much those words meant to him in that moment.

A/N: WHOOPS this ended up being way longer than anticipated. I'm not exactly mad about it, though. I will say again, we do not like Liz here! But yeah, also keeping her canon pregnancy in this fic. Babies all around! Thanks for reading.