Sixteen
It was a chilly Friday in December, and lazy snowflakes drifted down from the sky as Rory exited the newsroom laden with gifts for the baby.
The semester was over and she'd officially completed her time as editor, and having just handed the role off to Bill, she didn't know whether to feel sad or relieved. But that day her staff had taken her farewell gathering and turned it into a baby shower of sorts, celebrating with sparkling cider and gifting Rory a myriad of clothes and toys for the baby, almost all thrilled with the impending arrival of the newest member of the team. Someone had even taken it upon themselves to turn a Yale t-shirt into a onesie, and honestly Rory couldn't wait to dress her baby in it. She'd never been all that interested in baby clothes before, but now there was just something about the tiny onesies and little socks and small hats that made her want to melt.
After an exhausting walk home, the presents feeling heavier with every step, she stood outside the apartment complex, the four flights of stairs suddenly feeling daunting. She called Jess to help her carry the gifts up and he met her downstairs, his eyes widening as she dramatically dropped everything on the floor.
"Jeez, should you be carrying all that?" he asked, rushing down the last steps.
"It didn't seem that heavy when I left! But by the time I got here it felt like my arms were going to fall off," she said, rubbing her sore biceps.
Jess easily gathered the bags of gifts and started his way up the stairs but paused as Rory stalled behind him.
"You comin'?"
Rory pouted. "It's so far," she whined.
"I'll go slow, c'mon," Jess said with a smirk.
Rory trudged up the stairs, slowly and exaggeratedly.
"I wish we had an elevator. I'm creating life, I shouldn't have to walk up so many stairs."
Jess leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Well just think. Soon, we'll be living on the second floor instead of the fourth."
Rory only pouted more.
"But first we have to move there and that's so much work!"
Jess laughed. "Okay, you seriously need to nap before Luke and Lorelai get here."
And despite the fatigue, Rory couldn't help but let a smile replace her pout.
Luke and Lorelai were coming that afternoon with Luke's truck to help them move the rest of their things to their new apartment. Rory's coworker had graduated and moved out, making his way to California, and the place was officially theirs for the next six months.
Finally, they reached the top of the stairs and entered the apartment, and Rory wasted little time before collapsing on the couch as Jess deposited the bags in the pile of things they were moving to the new place. When he turned around a few minutes later to ask her what she wanted to do for lunch, he found her already unconscious, her coat and shoes still on. With a smirk, he extracted her feet from her boots and covered her with a throw blanket before going to make sure they had everything for their move.
As he exited their bedroom with one of the final boxes, Paris and Doyle entered the apartment in the middle of a conversation. Jess quickly shushed them and gestured to Rory.
"God, how long has she been home? I left the newsroom before she did," Paris laughed.
"Uh, about ten minutes."
Paris smiled and shook her head. "Her ability to sleep anywhere at any time is one I envy."
"Yeah, well, the baby decided she's nocturnal, so Rory doesn't sleep much at night – too much squirming," Jess said as he lifted a box out of the pile and leaving to put it in his car with a sigh. Rory wasn't the only one tired of those stairs, especially since Jess had already gone up and down them about a million times to fill Rory's car with things for their move and was now preparing to do the same with his car.
He was pretty sure his legs would fall off by the time they were done.
Just as he finished his last load of things for his car, Luke and Lorelai pulled up. Lorelai was bouncing up and down and punching the air with excitement – obviously recently caffeinated – and Luke was looking haggard. Jess had to suppress a smirk at the strange glimpse of his future he received as they started working.
It was a slightly challenging task, moving furniture down four flights of stairs with minimal grumbling and hushed communication as to not wake Rory, but within another hour, the three of them had everything loaded into Luke's truck. For the first time in a month, the apartment looked organized, and Rory and Jess's room was eerily empty.
Rory was soon awoken by her mother gently stroking her hair and quietly saying her name. Rory sat up with a start, blinking around the room and wincing as her back ached, obviously very upset at having been bent at a strange angle as she slept.
"I'm up. Let's go, let's move, let's…" She looked down at her socked feet. "Shoes?"
"What?" Lorelai asked, laughing.
"I was wearing shoes earlier. I need them to move."
"Well, good thing we already have everything loaded up. No more need for shoes."
"Huh?"
"Everything's in the truck, just time to get it to the new place."
Rory's eyes widened as she looked around the room, suddenly processing the new emptiness around her and feeling a sadness settle in her chest. This was her last moment in her apartment, and she'd slept through it.
"Is Paris here?" she asked sadly.
Lorelai nodded. "Downstairs with the guys. We should probably get down their soon before someone is seriously injured."
"Right." Rory smiled, albeit a little sadly, and bent down to find her boots and pull them on her feet. Her mother went downstairs, leaving Rory to have one last moment in the apartment.
Her time in the apartment had been strange, to say the least. But it was where she experienced heartbreak and joy and fear and where she learned and grown and where she had movie nights with Paris and where she'd found a great deal of independence. As dingy and, at times, scary as it was, she was seriously going to miss living there. So much was changing so quickly, and this felt like a big step into the future. A future with a degree and a baby and a big, empty space, void of plans. A terrifying, thrilling space. Honestly, one she was excited to fill.
Taking one final deep breath, letting herself have one more look around the place, she stepped out into the hall and started down the stairs.
In the parking lot, she hugged Paris goodbye, laughing at the cold front that Paris put on until they hugged, Paris then holding onto Rory tightly and almost letting the tears spill over despite knowing they'd see each other at school just after winter break was over. They made promises to hang out often, to keep each other updated on every aspect of life, then Rory bid Doyle farewell and climbed into her car. She put the key in the ignition, pulled out of the parking lot, and started towards her new apartment.
Once they arrived, everyone jumped into action.
Luke and Jess handled carrying everything up while Rory and Lorelai got a head start on unpacking boxes and planning where things would go, getting annoyingly weepy every time they came across a box of baby supplies and consequently imagining some milestone that would occur.
Once the bed and desks were built, the kitchen slightly organized, and the couch that Emily and Richard had gifted them in front of the TV, Luke and Lorelai left and Rory and Jess sat down to admire their handywork. There was still so much to do, but it already felt like a home.
It was small, that was for sure. The door opened directly into the living room, the closet to the left and the small kitchen to the right, the bathroom opposite the one single bedroom which was a decent enough size that it could be both Rory and Jess's room and the nursery. It was just enough room for their family.
Rory smiled as she looked around. She laid her head on Jess's chest and he placed a kiss on her hair.
"This is going to be our baby's first home," she whispered.
Jess grinned. "Yeah. I'd say it's a pretty good one, too."
"Better than a potting shed, probably," Rory chuckled. "Safer, at least."
Jess looked down at her, confused. "A potting shed?"
"Yeah. I mean, I guess my first home was technically my grandparents', but my first real home was the potting shed behind the Independence Inn."
Jess looked shocked. "You're kidding. You really lived in a potting shed?"
"Yeah, I never told you that?"
Jess shook his head.
"It was before Mom and I had any money, and Mia let us stay there since Mom worked at the inn. She and I shared a bed, and we put up a curtain to divide the bedroom from the bathroom." She smiled as the memories flashed through her mind. "Mom and I would tell stories to each other, and she'd read to me, and we'd watch and listen to the events at the inn. It was very Sabrina," she giggled. "And, y'know, it wasn't perfect… but Mom made it pretty great."
"How long did you live there?" Jess asked.
"Until I was about ten," Rory explained. "By that point, Mom had saved enough money to get our house."
"Huh."
"What?"
"Just… your life has always seemed kind of perfect compared to mine. I always pictured you in your house with the mom that cares and food on the table. I guess I forget that your mom was young and broke, too."
"Yeah, well… she made the best of a not-so-great situation. I'll always be thankful for that."
Jess nodded, hummed an agreement.
With a mutual glance at the bump, as if they were thinking the same thing, Rory cuddled closer to Jess and looked around the apartment – their apartment – with a soft smile on her face, so very thankful to be able to give her little girl a perfect first home.
Christmas was spent in Stars Hollow, and it seemed everyone in town was a little more subdued in their excitement about the baby, having exhausted their many questions and now just having to wait until she was born. Thus, Christmas was even more peaceful than originally imagined. A grace that Rory and Jess were both oh so grateful for.
Christmas Eve was dinner at Emily and Richard's, and though there was of course some tension and awkward moments, it was an overall pleasant experience. Rory talked about her time at the paper, worked out plans to take Richard's class the next semester, and Jess was able to give an update on his work at Truncheon that was almost satisfactory to Emily and that spurred an excited conversation with Richard. The rest of the conversation was about the inn or the diner or Emily and Richard's plans to travel in the coming months. All casual, all perfectly cordial.
Even so, there had been a strange tension between Rory and Richard ever since the announcement of the pregnancy.
He seemed overall not upset about the impending arrival of his great granddaughter, even happy at times, but there had been a sort of shift in his relationship with Rory. He was awkward and stiff around her, as he had been when they'd initiated the Friday Night Dinners all those years ago. As hard as Rory might try, she couldn't find the relationship they'd had before the announcement, and time with her grandfather was now more awkward silences than anything else. She never left their house without feeling a wave of sadness at the change.
Christmas at home in Stars Hollow was mostly a relaxed day spent in pajamas around the fireplace. But that morning, Rory and Jess had entered the living room to find what was, in their opinion, far too many presents with their names on them. They'd requested that if they received any gifts at all, which was completely unnecessary, that they be for the baby. And, of course, Luke and Lorelai had gone completely overboard, thus leading to Rory and Jess feeling very spoiled by the end of the day. When they made their way back to New Haven the next day, the trunk of their car was stuffed with clothes, toys, swaddles, books, supplies, and a surplus of diapers, leaving basically nothing for Jess and Rory to have to buy right away.
The end of the year marked the thirty-week point in Rory's pregnancy, thus kicking off the ten-week countdown until her due date. A countdown that was terrifying and stressful and exhilarating all at the same time. But, they had most of the baby's things set up in the apartment, they were steadily continuing to unpack and move in, and the excitement of soon being able to meet their baby girl was almost too much to bear. Rory transitioned to having appointments with Dr. Gunderson every other week, and every time she left feeling that much more excited to meet her healthy, thriving baby girl. Even if part of it was because she seemed to have hit some kind of growth spurt and Rory was getting more uncomfortable by the day.
Rory and Jess spent New Year's Eve ringing in 2007 alone in their apartment, drinking sparkling apple cider and eating pizza and enjoying having the entire place to themselves. They sat curled on the couch, watching the ball drop on TV, kissing and laughing as the clock struck midnight, ushering them into the year in which they'd get to meet their baby girl.
The first few days of 2007 were spent continuing the long process of unpacking, and that weekend they lounged with baby name books and notepads and junk food, hunkering down with the plan to come up with a name for the baby by the time Rory's winter break was over. They had ten weeks and still had landed nowhere on what baby girl would be called.
"What do you think about 'Lorelai'?" Jess asked, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. "Continue on the tradition?"
Rory wrinkled her nose. "I don't know, it feels too on the nose, like that would be what everyone's expecting."
"And you don't want to do what people are expecting?" Jess asked, amused and a little surprised that she didn't want to continue what seemed to be the customary practice of naming Gilmore girls Lorelai.
Rory snorted. "Jess, when have you and I ever done what anyone expected?"
"Alright, fair. But you want some sort of family name in there, right?"
Rory shifted on the couch, putting her legs in Jess's lap. Instinctually, he grabbed her sore feet and began to rub them as he pondered names.
"Yeah. But there's Victoria, Leigh, technically Emily…"
Jess grimaced and Rory couldn't help but laugh. They'd already come to the decision that naming the baby after Rory's grandmother would simply be awkward and just didn't feel right considering the recent ostracization.
Rory pondered. "What was your grandma's name?"
"Luke's mom?"
Rory nodded.
"Rose."
Rory hummed thoughtfully. "That's pretty."
"Yeah, but she died before I was born, I never knew her."
"True. Might be a nice homage to Luke, though."
Jess thought for a second and nodded. "Okay, yeah, put it on the 'maybe' list."
Rory scribbled it into her notebook.
"You mentioned Leigh?"
Rory frowned. "Yeah, but I don't know how I feel about naming her after me."
Jess smirked. "You're named after your mother."
"Well, yeah, but Lorelai was already a family name. I'm the third. Plus, she's always said a lot of Demerol went into that decision."
Jess snorted. "Okay, fine. Leigh is out."
"Wait, did you like Leigh?"
Jess shrugged. "I think it could be cute, plus it would be a family name. But her mom should like her name, so it's a 'no'."
Rory paused before scribbling it into the 'maybe' column.
"Stop, don't put it in the 'maybes' just because I like it!" Jess laughed.
"Her dad likes it, it's going in the maybes!"
Jess smirked and shook his head.
"Do you have any other family names?"
Jess shook his head and thought for a second, smirking as a hopelessly romantic idea came to him.
"What about something literary?"
Rory eyes lit up and she went back to the book of baby names and scoured through it silently, a thoughtful and excited expression on her face. Jess watched her contently until his phone rang, and seeing Luke's name on the Caller ID, he answered it.
"Hello?"
"Jess, hey, I need your help." He sounded frantic and there was noise in the background.
"What?" he called into the phone, barely able to hear Luke over the chaos.
"I need your help! Your mom had me watching Doula while she ran errands or something, I don't know what she's doing, but I just got a call from my lawyer about something with April's custody case and I need to go."
Jess paused. "And you need my help with…"
"Your sister! I need you to watch your sister!"
Jess sighed. "Luke, I really…"
"Jess, please. I'm in a bind."
"Why can't Liz come pick her up early?"
"I don't know, she isn't answering her phone or she doesn't have it on her or something."
Jess's stomach dropped and he tensed, noticeably enough that Rory looked up from the book with a concerned expression. He had to pause and breathe and remind himself that this Liz wasn't the same Liz he'd had as a kid.
He ran a hand over his face. "Fine, I'll be there in thirty minutes. Are you at the house?"
"The apartment – Liz just left her at the diner. Handed me the baby carrier and left," he scoffed. "Thank you, Jess, seriously. I owe you."
"I'll hold you to that," Jess grumbled before he hung up.
"What's up?" Rory asked.
"Luke was watching Doula but has an emergency meeting or something and Liz can't get her early. Thus…"
"Aw, big brother to the rescue!" Rory gushed.
"Stop, I'm just doing this because Luke was seriously wigging out," Jess groused as he stood up off the couch and went to get his coat.
"I'd offer to come help but I have that meeting with Bill to go over the editorship transfer," Rory said sadly.
"It's fine. I'll go, I'll babysit, I'll return with takeout," he said as he leaned down and kissed her. He called out a "love you" and then was out the door, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.
Jess pulled up to the diner thirty minutes later and ran up to the apartment to find a stressed-out Luke in the kitchen, attempting to get Doula to take a bottle without getting milk or drool on the nice clothes he had to wear for his meeting. A task that was proving difficult and unsuccessful.
"Oh, Jess, thank God. I'm already late and she won't eat and—"
Jess interrupted. "Go, it's fine, I'll take care of it," he said as he carefully took Doula from Luke's arms, suddenly very glad he'd spent time with Doula prior to this moment.
Luke was out the door and Jess was left alone with Doula. It was then it occurred to him that, yes, he'd spent time with Doula, but he'd never been left alone with a baby before, only having interacted with her with Luke or Liz present. He took the bottle Luke had been attempting to feed her and went and sat down on the couch.
"So, just you and me, huh?"
Doula responded with a fussy gurgle.
"Just don't puke on me too much and we'll be good."
After a bit of negotiating – as much as one can negotiate with a two-month-old – Jess got Doula to eat and then she fell into a milk-drunk slumber in his arms, and her tiny snores brought a smile to Jess's face. It was weird to see the features you'd received from your parent copy and pasted into a tiny form. Looking at Doula, Jess realized he had his mother's chin, because there it was on Doula's face, too. But she had a lot of TJ's features, too. TJ's nose, specifically, and his ears. But they definitely had the same chin. It kind of weirded him out.
As he sat there, examining his sister, she woke up and started to squirm and grimace and make such intense eye contact with Jess that he could have sworn she was trying to tell him something. But then, there was a sound and smell that emanated from her diaper that made him wretch.
"Jeez, really? You couldn't have waited for Liz to come back to do that?"
He gingerly moved Doula to the floor, found a clean diaper, and attempted what ended up being a horrendous diaper change. One that ended up requiring three diapers because she wouldn't stop moving and Jess kept getting it on her crookedly, and he knew enough that only disaster could occur if the diaper wasn't fitted properly – his mother had shared some horror stories, during a meal of all things because, of course, she had zero internal filter.
Afterwards, Doula returned to her happy self, kicking at the air and trying to eat her toes, and Jess was practically sweating with how stressed he'd become. He hadn't exactly been given instructions for what needed to happen prior to his sister being picked up, so he found a toy in her diaper bag and gave it to her as they returned to the couch, where she chewed on it happily and gurgled to Jess while he read to her from the book he'd brought along. Before long, the door opened and Liz walked in, gasping at the sight of her children together.
Obviously, she hadn't checked her messages.
"Oh, look at my babies!" she gushed, setting Jess's teeth on edge.
Jess stood to meet her and handed Doula off to her.
"Where's Luke?" she asked, gazing lovingly down at Doula.
"He had a custody meeting," Jess said as he gathered his things. "You need to turn your phone on."
"Sorry, I was at the store and didn't realize," she cooed, lovingly stroking Doula's cheek with her finger. She continued to dote and smile, and the sight made Jess feel strangely uncomfortable.
He cleared his throat. "Um, I told Rory I'd pick up dinner, so I better go," he said, moving towards the door and opening it, so close to freedom before Liz's voice stopped him short.
"Oh, how's she doing?" she asked, apparently coming out of her baby trance.
Jess hesitated by the open door, hiding a scowl.
"She's good."
"Good, good!" Liz said with a grin. "I'll tell ya, by the time I was as pregnant as she is, I was going out of my mind! I think it was even harder with Doula than it was when I was pregnant with you since I was sober this time," she laughed. "I didn't remember how uncomfortable I was when I had you! I mean, plus, I was so young, and it was so long ago…"
Jess swallowed, suddenly feeling nauseous. "Right. Well…" He gestured outside.
"Oh! Right! Pregnant girlfriend waiting for food! Go, go! We should get going, too, TJ's waiting. Bye, baby!"
Jess stopped downstairs for burgers, fries, pie, the works, before heading home. The entire drive, it felt like a rock had settled in his stomach. His jaw was tight, his teeth were grinding, and he couldn't tell what upset him more: his mother's careless words or how much he still let her affect him.
He walked into the apartment to find Rory on the couch with a book in her hand and a bowl of chips perched on her bump – she'd recently discovered that it worked quite nicely as a sort of portable table. Jess set the bags of takeout on the counter and began to dish out the food. Rory greeted him with a smile and a hello as she maneuvered off the couch, and his quiet, monosyllabic reply caused an immediate change in her expression. She came up to him and softly brushed her fingers through the hair at his temple.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
Jess shook his head as he continued to serve the food. "Nothin', I'm fine."
"Did something happen with Doula?" Rory prompted gently. When Jess shook his head again, her expression darkened. "What did Liz do?"
Jess halted his movements. "What?"
"You always go quiet like this when your mom upsets you."
The sinking feeling in his stomach only increased as he realized Liz was affecting him so much it was visible. All he wanted was to get through the rest of the day and move on.
"Rory, I don't want to get into it…" he muttered, busying himself with the food.
"Jess, come on. Something obviously happened."
He sighed heavily and turned, slouching against the counter. "She… I don't even know," he mumbled. "She was being sweet and talking to Doula in this voice that I'd never heard from her before. She was just acting so…"
"Motherly," Rory finished for him, a kind of familiar sadness in her eyes.
He scoffed. "Yeah, I guess. It shouldn't bother me as much as it is though, I'm used to Liz being a different person around everyone else."
Rory sighed, feeling Jess's words squeeze her heart.
"Yeah, but… you didn't get that with her. Which isn't fair to you," Rory said softly, gently caressing his cheek. "It sucks to watch the parent who flaked out on you be devoted to another kid," Rory said understandingly.
"Except that I get that Doula's the second chance," Jess said bitterly, returning to the packages of food and hoping for an end to the conversation. "Maybe Liz doesn't see it that way, but it's true."
"Jess…"
"No, don't. I was the problem kid, Rory," Jess said, the words suddenly falling from his lips despite his internal objections. "I was the one she didn't want, even from the beginning. I get that, I mean she practically drilled it into my skull my whole life. I'm used to it. Sure, okay, I didn't know she was still drinking when she was pregnant with me until today, but it's not exactly surprising considering the amount of drinking she did after I was born."
Rory froze. "What?" she asked in a low, furious tone he'd never heard from her.
Jess shook his head, immediately regretting his overly emotional rambling.
"Rory, don't. I'm over it, let's just have dinner."
"She was drinking when she was pregnant with you?"
"Sounds like it."
Rory shook her head and crossed her arms, in total disbelief. "That's bullshit," she spat, the word sounding harsh and unfamiliar in her voice, so much so Jess stopped his fiddling with the food and spun around to face her, finding her face red and angry. "God… she just told you? Just like that?"
"It wasn't like she planned to tell me, she was just comparing her pregnancies and her being sober this time was apparently a big difference."
"What the hell is wrong with her?!"
"That's a loaded question."
Rory scoffed. "She's lucky you survived," she said, in complete disbelief that someone could endanger their child like that.
"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure she felt that lucky," Jess said bitterly, turning away from her, stuck between wanting to do anything else but discuss his mother and wanting, needing to get out of his head. "Whatever. It's fine."
Rory shook her head as her eyes filled with tears.
"No, it is not fine."
"Rory, please, can we stop talking about this?" Jess yelled.
"No, Jess! I don't care if you're over it, because I'm not! And to be honest, I don't think you are either!"
Jess just stood, his hands planted against the counter and his head hung low as he started to feel himself slip back into the scared, angry kid he'd been for so long. The kid he turned into whenever his mother hurt him.
"I don't even have words for how angry I am right now, Jess. I mean, I knew Liz was a crappy mom, but oh my God…" Rory seethed. "I hate her for what she did to you. You don't deserve that, Jess. You didn't as a kid, and you don't now. You are not a mistake or a disappointment or a burden or any of the crap she's told you!" She swallowed to try to rid herself of the lump in her throat. "You deserve the Liz that Doula's getting. You deserve to feel wanted."
Everything, every hurt and fear and disappointment Jess had ever experienced because of his mother suddenly came to the surface, burning, infuriating him.
"Then how come Doula was worth staying sober?" Jess yelled. "How come TJ was worth getting clean? How come I wasn't?"
"I don't know," Rory whispered, standing her ground and doing her best to keep her emotions in check. Doing her best to give Jess the safe space he needed.
"I waited years for Liz to get her shit together, Rory! By ten years old, I knew how to take care of her when she passed out! I knew what to do if she OD'd! I knew to hide every time she brought some new jerk home! She only changed when she kicked me out! And, God, of course I'm glad Doula will never have to experience any of that, but why did I?"
"I don't know."
He scoffed, poking the counter angrily as he spoke. "I was so scared she was gonna screw it all up again," he admitted, his voice rough. "That Doula would have to have to experience the same Liz I did. But she's doing it right this time. How come that hurts worse than it would to see her screw it up like she screwed up the first time?"
"I don't know," Rory said, her voice rough and shaky.
He leaned his elbows on the counter and let his head fall into his hands, breathing raggedly. "I'm jealous of a two-month-old," he said, laughing bitterly. "How pathetic is that?"
"Stop, Jess, you are not pathetic!" Rory cried. "Screw Liz! You're her kid! You should have been enough for her!"
It was then Rory noticed that Jess's entire body was shaking, his breathing shallow and the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes as he tried to ground himself, bring himself back into the present moment. She tentatively reached out and placed her hand on his back, wrapping him in an embrace with her other arm and gently pulling him as close as the bump allowed. Offering him security and solace as he buried his face in her neck.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his ear, her voice wobbly.
Jess remained latched onto her, grasping at her shirt, humiliated and exhausted and angry. Hating himself for getting so worked up over Liz. Hating Liz for what she did to him. Loving Rory for not only enduring his mess but loving him despite it all.
"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely as the shaking in his body began to slow.
"What the hell for?" Rory asked, pulling back and looking dismayed that he was apologizing.
"For, I don't know… for being so screwed up, I guess. For falling apart like that," he said quietly, feeling embarrassed to his core and unable to meet her eyes.
"Jess…" Rory breathed, cupping his face in her hand. "None of this is your fault. At all. In fact, you being the incredible man you are today is pretty amazing considering everything. Plus… everyone needs to fall apart sometimes, right? You've put me back together loads of times. I'm here to do the same for you."
Jess leaned his forehead against hers, sighing heavily. Exhaling the tension and anger he'd felt moments before but Rory had somehow taken from him and thrown away.
"Thank you."
"No thanks needed, but you're welcome," Rory said, pressing her lips to his.
After a beat of silence, Jess huffed out a breath.
"I care about Doula," he said quietly.
"I know."
"But seeing Liz with her, just…"
"It sucks."
"Yeah," he breathed.
"I get it. We're both in the crappy 'my parent had another kid and forgot about me' club."
Jess chuckled. "Calling it a crappy club is an understatement."
"A shitty club then," Rory said, a smirk appearing on her lips.
Jess snorted, and Rory felt herself relax as a small smile replaced the frown on Jess's face.
"Huh."
"What?"
"I think this is the most I've ever heard you swear," Jess said, wrapping his arms around Rory's waist.
"Hey, I can swear with the best of 'em!"
"Oh yeah?" Jess teased
"Yeah."
"Say something worse than 'shit' then."
Rory squirmed as her face went red.
"I… what if I don't want to right now?" she asked, looking down and fidgeting.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Jess said with a smirk.
"Well, so what? I think you'll get to hear plenty while I'm in labor."
"Y'know, I don't think that's something I'm supposed to be excited for," Jess said, kissing Rory on the cheek.
Rory giggled and extricated herself from Jess's arms, both returning their attention to their dinner, grimacing at the cold fries and laughing softly at the memories they brought up, before making their way to the couch. As they ate, they refused to break physical contact with each other, elbows or hips or ankles or hands always touching. Just anchoring each other, reminding each other of the other person's presence and love.
After dinner, they got a call from an incredibly happy and relieved Luke. During his meeting, his lawyer had informed him that the character references had worked, and though April was moving to New Mexico, Luke would have partial custody of her and therefore get to see her regularly. A peace settled over them then, thankful that for the parents that fought for their children and won.
Later that night, they lay in bed, Rory asleep and Jess drifting, her spine to his chest and their left hands intertwined and resting on the bump. He was exhausted in so many ways, but also felt lighter than he had in ages.
There weren't enough words in the world to describe how grateful he was for Rory. For how much he loved her, how excited he was for their future as a family. Maybe they'd have another kid or two, depending on how this one went. A house on the outskirts of some city. A life together as…
Jess paused, suddenly wide awake as he considered that part of their future. A future as not just boyfriend and girlfriend, but, perhaps more than that.
He looked at her hand, a smile spreading across his face as he imagined a ring on her finger.
That was the moment he knew he wanted to marry her.
A/N: Whoops this one's long and dramatic sorry! Hopefully the fluff makes up for the angst. Also it was originally shorter but somehow editing it made it longer. How'd that happen? Who knows. ALSO, Luke's mom, sadly, is nameless in the series. But I read a fic once (the name of which is slipping my mind so if you know please tell me so I can give credit!) where her name was Rose and I absolutely loved it and decided to use it here, too. Thanks for reading!