Chapter 5
I am pressed against Harry. My arms around his neck. His lips soft, yet firm against mine.
All my frustration melts off me as he pulls me even tighter. His hands squeeze my lower back and pull me closer. I've thought of this for years. What it would feel like. What he would feel like.
I reach my hand down and firmly grab him from the outside of his pants. His body writhes in reaction. His eyes dart open for a moment, surprised by the forwardness of my gently attack. I feel him grow harder as I caress it tenderly. I rub my hand, ever so slightly, up, and down over it, feeling it growing larger with my touch. He moans into me.
I move to unbutton his pants, but he grabs my hand and pulls away from me.
"Hermione, wait." He says catching his breath, "You've had a long day. I don't want to—"
"You don't want to?!" I say, embarrassed now by my forwardness.
"No! No- I do want to. I don't want to take advantage of you." He says putting a hand to my cheek.
I swat his hand away.
"If you only want to be friends, Harry, just say that!" I bark at him. He looks at me. Harry knows me. I'm exhausted. I'm scared. I'm taking my frustration out on him- the same way I did to G earlier. And now she is gone. Who knows when I will see her again. And Padma and the other girls are getting flogged. The other girls are getting flogged while I'm throwing myself at Harry.
And then they come- the tears. I can't hold them back anymore. Water rushes down my cheeks in even streams.
Harry pulls me into his chest and I sob.
"I'm sorry," I cry.
"You don't have to apologize." Harry consoles me.
After a few minutes I am composed. The tears have stopped. A sense of relief washes over me. That is what I needed; to cry. To be held. To let it out.
"You should probably go and pack," I say to Harry, "Since you're moving out tonight."
"Are you ok?" He asks me.
"No." I say with a half laugh, "But I will be."
"Don't worry," He says to me before he leaves, "In a few days, you and I will be living in Meridian City together. In our own place. Potter and Granger."
He leaves. Our own place? But it's not our place. It's his place. There is no Granger. And there will never be a Granger.
I walk down to the Common Room and wait impatiently for someone to return. I gather bandages and antiseptic, anticipating their wounds. After over an hour, the girls start filtering in: blood seeping through the pink fabric of their dresses. They lie down on their stomachs and I start dressing the wounds. Soon the Common Room is filled with all forty of us. They lie sprawled on the floor as I move quickly from girl to girl, dressing each wound as quickly as I can.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you," I apologize to each girl.
Shockingly, no one is mad at me.
"That was the bravest thing I've ever done!" Padma announces to the entire room. Other girls echo her sentiments.
"Why didn't President Malfoy punish you, Hermione?" someone asks me.
"I think he was trying to send a message," I respond unconfidently.
"Well, I'd love to be the recipient of that message next time," A girl says, causing all the girls to chuckle.
I'm shocked. I thought everyone in the room would be angry at me. But they aren't. Somehow, we feel more united than before.
"At least we tried," Someone says. And the mood becomes more solemn.
We did try. But we failed.
"What's our next plan?" Padma asks.
"Next plan!?" A girl replies confused and upset, "There is no beating Meridian, Padma! We tried. And I'm glad we did. But it's over. If we should take anything away from these lashings it's that we can't win."
"I agree," I say.
Padma looks at me shocked, "What do you mean, you agree?!"
"She's right. We are outnumbered. Anything we do will just result in more floggings and punishments. It's hopeless," I say to her as I dab antiseptic on a back.
"Where's G?!" Padma asks, "She's good at things like this! She's always been anti-establishment."
"She moved out," I say solemnly. Padma's face turns to shock then sadness. She thinks what I think; G has abandoned us.
Suddenly, a short, stout woman wearing a green and purple dress walks into the Common Room. She's in her mid-fifties.
She clears her throat loudly. We all look to her, as her purple appearance is highly unusual.
"Ladies," She starts, "Petals, as I prefer to think of you—"
"Petals?" One girl asks.
"Yes! Your new status name: petals. The pink petals of the flower that is Meridian! Delicate and feminine," the woman explains with a sweet smile, but it quickly drops as she looks around the room at the bloody backs. We stare at her as if she's speaking a different language.
"Our status name is Petal?" One girl says in disbelief.
"So, we've been reduced to vegetation now? Great," A sarcastic girl replies.
The woman clears her throat, "You will refer to me as Lady Umbridge, your Petal instructor. Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock sharp, we'll meet for a lesson in Household Economics! Later, you'll be given your pairings."
"So, you're going to teach us how to be good wives and mothers in one afternoon?" I ask.
"Don't worry, Pet. We'll all meet once a week in Meridian City. So I can check on your…progress."
Her voice is disturbingly sugary-sweet yet insidious at the same time. She stares at us, wide-eyed, waiting for a response. No one says anything. She squirms, slightly uncomfortable from our lack of reaction.
"Alright. Well…see you all bright and early tomorrow in Exam Room B," She says reluctantly before wobbling away.
The room of girls look around at one another in astonishment.
"I keep thinking this can't get any worse, but then it does," Padma says to me.
I continue tending to wounds. I realize, this is the first time we've all been united. For my years at the Academy I've viewed these girls as my competition. I knew there were only so many Elite-status Graduation spots for Primary and Cores. So, the more of them that failed, the better my chances were. But now we aren't working against one another in competition.
After hours of wound tending, we're off to bed. A somberness hangs in the air, knowing that right now we are being chosen by our former classmates to be their potential mistresses. I pack the few things I have into a trunk. I look at the letter accusing me of cheating. I eye the trash bin and consider throwing it away. No. I conclude to keep it. It will be a reminder of how fleeting things are in Meridian, and how things can change at any moment. I put it at the top of my trunk.
I crawl into bed, exhausted. I have never had a room to myself before. G would occasionally visit her family in Meridian City, but the room would still be filled with her- her painting, drawings, messy desk. Now the room is bare. There must be another way out of this! I think to myself. I drift off to sleep in my newly empty room.
By morning I find myself sitting in Exam Room B wearing my hideous pink dress, as instructed. I know any defiance will only result in more of my fellow Petals being punished. Yuck. I'm practically a Surgeon. And now I've been lowered to a wilting part of a flower.
The back of everyone else's dresses have blood stains in two, thin perfect lines. Lady Umbridge stands before us. She wears the same poufy green and purple dress as yesterday.
"So, in today's class, I wanted to discuss expectations with you ladies," She begins, "Since tonight will be your first night with your partners."
She walks around the room, "Firstly, your body is a gift! Think of your body as your most valuable resource. Now, you are not required to partake in any physical activities with your partners. But producing babies is the only way to finally reach Elite Status and to solidify your partnership as permanent. So, you are encouraged—"
I raise my hand. Umbridge looks at me confused, "Questions already?"
"What if our partners attack us?" I ask bluntly. Umbridge swallows hard, startled by my brash question.
"They won't," She replies with a large smile.
"But what if they do?" I ask her, "We will be living with strange men. What if they assault us? How do we report them? How do we get moved into a safe household?"
"I assure you, none of your partners will harm you. You will be safe—"
"But what if they do hurt us?" Another girl interjects, "Hermione brings up a good point. We'll be living with these men in their houses. And now that we don't have a status…do we even have rights anymore?"
"But you do have a status. You are Petals," Umbridge says in a frustrated tone, but still maintaining a large smile.
"Then what does the status of Petal entail? What are our benefits? Our rights? Our restrictions?" I ask.
"I don't think I understand the question," she replies obtusely.
"What can and can't we do in our status?!" I say again, forcefully.
"I'm not sure I understand-" Lady Umbridge says in a fake, sugary voice.
"As Primaries and Cores, we don't have last names. We can't leave the Academy grounds. And if we graduate with such a status, we don't have free reign of Meridian City. We can only be in the City during specific times. These are some examples of restrictions a status comes with," Padma starts. She's always been better at teaching and explaining than I have. "As for benefits, well, Primaries and Cores don't have very many, but Elites do. Elites have access to go anywhere in Meridian, even outside of Meridian City. Elites can run for office in the Collective. You see how these are some examples of status specific restrictions and benefits?…So, what about Petals?"
"Petals don't need to worry about such things. You just need worry about your partnership, getting to know your partner, learning to keep house," She says, "Let's get back to discussing your role in the household—"
"Can we leave Meridian City?" Someone interjects.
"Why would you want to leave?" Umbridge replies with a giggle.
"Let me be direct," I say, "Do we have any rights? Do we have autonomy? If our partners abuse us, can we report it to the Meridian Police? Can we press charges as an Elite would?"
Umbridge's smile drops. She stands up straighter, "No. You do not have access to Meridian's courts," Umbridge quickly regains her smiley composure, "But your partners do! So, if someone were to attack you on the street, a Primary or a Core, your partner may press charges for you-"
"But what if it is our partners? They aren't going to press charges against themselves!" I say firmly.
"Your partners—!" Umbridge screams at me before taking a deep breath and collecting herself, "Your partners are Meridian's Elite men. The men who protect us. Who keep Meridian running! You will do well to respect your partners. You shall cherish and obey them. And remember, when you have a baby, you will be an Elite Status and have all the privileges of an Elite! If you follow my instructions this is a very temporary status."
I understand now. We have less rights than even Primaries. No rights, really. Until we have a baby, we are Meridian property.
The next hour is equivalent to the beginning Anatomy and Health classes I took years ago when first being assigned to study Medicine. We learn about the basic male and female anatomy and reproduction. Umbridge even gives up tips on things to think about if we aren't enthusiastic about the reproductive process. She suggests considering making the week's to-do lists, shopping lists, and even working on recipes in our head until it is over. It would be funny if it weren't horrific. I would laugh if I knew that some girls might actually need that advice. I am lucky to have Harry. But what of Padma? Neville doesn't graduate until next year. And we don't know any other graduating Elite men.
"Remember, ladies," She says to us as the end of class, "Your partners chose you. You are very special. Remember that."
Umbridge excuses us back to the Common Room. She tells us the pairing cards will be waiting for us there. After our partners will come to the Academy and take us to our new homes.
We walk into the Common Room and there are forty envelops stacked on a table. We all see them. I walk up to the envelopes. A name is written on the outside of each one. I hand them out to each girl. Soon we all hold an envelope in our hands.
I am not nervous. I know whose name is written on the inside. I look to Padma. I am more nervous for her. Her dark eyes, and long eyelashes, slender legs, makes her the perfect target for a wicked Elite to prey on.
"Everyone together?" Padma announces to the group, "One, two, three—"
We all rip the envelopes. My eyes are on Padma's. Her mouth hangs agape. I see it: Harry Potter. That can't be. That's Harry. My Harry. But that means I am not paired with him. Who am I—
I look down at my own opened envelope and see the name written in ink. I can't think. I can't react. There it is: Draco Malfoy. I flip over the envelope to ensure it has my name written on the outside. It does.
"Why would he pick you?" Padma asks, astonished.
I can't even respond. My mind goes to the incident five years ago. When I left that dent in his nose. When his father, the President, came to the school. He was furious. And somehow, I was not expelled. I was let go with a mediocre punishment. Is this Draco's revenge?
"He wants to torture me," I reply to her, "That's the only reason he would choose me."
The reactions from the other girls are split. Some sigh in relief, while others are scared.
"You must have been picked by Draco before Harry had a chance—" Padma starts to reassure me, but I don't want to hear it.
"I need to finish packing," I turn away from her and rush up the stairs, my eyes filling with tears.
What if Harry didn't pick me because the other day? I threw myself at him. And he rejected me. And then I snapped at him. No! No! Stop! I bark at myself. I can't drive myself crazy with doubt. Something must have gone wrong that made Harry unable to pick me. Plus, I must acknowledge the positive- Padma is with Harry. So, Padma is safe.