Good Morning, Smár Einn!
Please see my AN at the bottom for questions answered!
Thank you to Mel and Jill!
.: Tuttugu ok Níu :.
Free.
It's a word that I don't even know how to start dreaming about. Somehow, even in my wildest fantasies back home, when I thought of being on my own, I never imagined a degree of freedom. There would always be something tying me back to Forks, to my family, to the person I once was.
What Edvard is offering me is beyond anything I've ever dared hope for myself.
"Will I still live here?" I ask, glancing up at Edvard.
His brows furrow.
"No, Smár Einn." He sighs. "You are an unmarried woman. You will live with your family."
My heart starts to sink and I shake my head.
"I don't want to leave here."
His fingers scrape over the skin of my neck as his hands move to cup my face.
"But you will be free," he says softly. "You must go."
Tears are welling again, and I shake my head. "Please. This is my home. Your family has become my own. I want to stay."
Edvard winces, his head dipping so that his forehead meets mine. "If you stay," he whispers, his beard tickling against my face as he speaks. "Then we would be siblings. I must call you sister and…" he pauses, sucking in a deep breath "...I can do no such thing."
I don't understand. There is too much about his world that is still so completely foreign to me, and it feels like I'm now running out of time to figure any of it out.
"Edvard," I whisper. "I want to be with you." The words come out in English, despite how hard I try to make myself speak his language.
His breath fans across my face, as if he understands, and he tilts his head, his lips capturing mine again.
How can a man so large be so tender?
I want to be lost to him, to his touch. I want to sink into his embrace and never resurface. I'm scared of how much desire is welling up in me, how fast it has seemed to come on.
But so long as Edvard is with me, I feel like I can be brave enough to face these new feelings and wants.
"Smár Einn," he says, breaking the kiss. I feel the words as he speaks them against my lips, and I want to swallow them. "When you are a woman, you will be free to marry."
My heart slams into my ribs, and I pull back from him, shocked. "What?"
Edvard's arms squeeze my waist, gently keeping me close to his massive body. Despite the warmth of summer, he has a fur wrapped around his shoulders, probably for travel. It makes him look more like a bear, and I have to fight myself from snuggling into him.
"You may marry any free man of our village," he continues. "They will all be honored to be chosen by you."
I have barely met any men of the village. Though I know people who live closer to the village lead much more social lives, Edvard's farm is isolated up on the mountain.
"Do…" I swallow against the nervous lump in my throat. "Do I need to ask?" I don't know the word propose in his language, and already I can feel myself flushing from embarrassment. I don't know what is protocol, but if I'm meant to propose to a man, I might die a single virgin.
Edvard grins. "No, Smár Einn, though you may, if there is someone you wish to marry."
He gives me a devilish look that makes the rest of my body flush red. I'm sure I'm an alarming shade by now.
"And what if he says no?" I whisper, my eyes dropping from his. I cannot believe I'm talking about this with him. I've never even thought about marriage before, and now I'm a few steps away from begging a man I still barely know—but definitely cannot get enough of—to marry me.
What has my life become?
"What man would say no?" he asks, reaching out to gently lift my chin. "Smár Einn, you are a strong and precious beauty. A man would be blessed to be your husband."
My throat goes tight as I stare at him. Can I do it? Can I get the words out?
"A man like you?" I croak. The words are so fractured by my cracking voice, I wonder if he made them out at all. His face is more serious than I've ever seen, and fear grips my frantic heart.
"It would be a greater blessing than any the gods could bestow upon me," he whispers. His intensity takes me by surprise, stealing the breath right out of my lungs.
I have never felt like this before, never felt so desperate to give my body and soul to another being. I want it now; I want Edvard to know that no matter what, that even if we couldn't marry, that I belong to him. Everything I am is his for the taking.
I cannot find the words in any language, so instead, I rise up on my tiptoes, bringing my lips to his. This kiss is different, infused with something more, something I can't quite name.
Edvard's arms come around me, lifting me off the ground as he pulls me to his chest.
I sink against him, craving more of him every second that passes. The moment our tongues touch, I shudder against him, utterly lost to sensation.
I want more.
"Edvard," I moan, unable to stop the words from tumbling from my lips. "More… Please."
He groans, his large hands snaking up and down my back, covering large swaths of me that have never been touched like this.
It's not even sexual; it's just so… intimate.
"We must not." He pants against my lips. I whimper in his arms as he tilts forward, setting my feet back on the ground. "Tomorrow you will be a free woman."
I lick my swollen lips, gazing up at him. "But tonight I am still a þræll, am I not?" I ask. He winces but nods. "So make me a beðþræll," I beg.
He jerks in surprise, his eyes widening slightly before he lets out a long breath. "You would tempt even the gods." He groans, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Smár Einn, if I have enough favor with the gods to one day be called your husband," he says, pressing another kiss to my skin, this time between my eyebrows, "I shall want so much more than a single evening to explore your body. I would have days buried between your strong legs." One of his hands sinks over my back, tracing the curve of my butt before squeezing the back of my thigh. My legs instinctively clench together as a dark thrill runs through me. "I shall know every flavor and scent of you, every sound, every breath and beat of your precious heart." He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my chest, over my frantic and erratic heartbeat, his hand still resting on the back of my leg. "To have only one night would be an injustice to the glory of your body."
My knees go weak, and I sink against him, trying to breathe even though I suddenly can't remember how.
"Smár Einn, once I begin to taste you, I will not be able to stop."
I let out a shaky breath. "Okay," I whisper in English, unable to come up with anything else to say. "Can we stay up all night? If this is to be my last night here?" I somehow manage to ask in his language, though it takes me a while to form the words.
Edvard gives me a small, sad smile.
"Come, Smár Einn. It is a warm night; lie out under the sky with me."
He guides me to the soft grasses by Eydís' gardens. He lays the fur around his shoulder out, sitting on top of it. He motions me to sit next to him. I do, eager to curl into him. I cannot shake the warm, spiced smell of him. It is so familiar and comforting to me, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.
Edvard lies back, and I scoot down until I'm next to him, curled in his arms. It's such a safe, warm place to be, and even though I want to stay awake, to remember this moment forever, I'm soon drifting asleep.
Okay, so some answers:
1. Why can't Bella stay with his family?
the "rules" of Norse societies were pretty specific. An unmarried woman could not live in a house that wasn't her family's. Because Bella was a thrall and not considered a woman of their society, she was allowed to live with Edvard and his family without question. When she officially joins their society, she can no longer live with them unless she intends to be considered a part of their family (Edvard's sister).
2. Why didn't Edvard just tell people she was part of their society?
The Norse held strict legal codes. There are a lot of laws and practices in place that they upheld because it was honorable. Edvard, being a noble man, is honoring those. Technically, yes, the family could have lied and said Bella was already a woman of their society, but the reason he didn't was two fold: because he believes in his legal system and honors this code, and because the reason this was set up in the first place was the Norse women were allowed to divorce their husbands, but in order to do that, they needed family to go back to. By giving Bella ties to a family in their community, they are giving her a safety net that all Norse citizens were entitled to.
3. Will Egil court Bella now?
No, he'll be her family, her roots in their community. Egil is also married, and though it was common for Vikings to take take people to bed on the raids (be it rape or consensual) to my knowledge, polygamy in marriage was not practiced by the Norse.
I know there are a hundred more questions, but time will answer most of them.
Thanks, Loves!