Chapter 19

"Dean, sweetie, think you can sit up and drink this?" Missouri coaxed the young boy as she sat near him in a chair.

"Mmmm…" Dean groaned trying to pull himself from the warm, comfortable place he had retreated to after the shock of seeing what happened to his parents and remember he had a little brother.

"That's it, let me see those beautiful green eyes of yours."

"Bobby?" Dean whispered as he tried to focus his eyes and swiped a hand across them.

"I'm here son, how're ya feeling?" Bobby asked from the chair by the couch. He reached a hand to lay on Dean's shoulder, squeezing gently for support and to let him know he was there.

Dean slid up to a sitting position and accepted the cup Missouri held out to him. It was warm in his cold, trembling hands and realized the heat felt good. He took a couple of sips of the brew, tasting the sweetness of honey and a blend of different teas and spices. He kept his eyes downcast as he tried to sort what had happened earlier.

"Son, do you wanna talk about it?" Bobby asked in a fatherly voice.

"I-I don't know," replied Dean, his voice quivering.

"Honey, sometimes it's good to talk about things," Missouri encouraged. "It lets you understand them better. And it won't do any good to keep them bottled up inside of you."

"Okay," Dean whispered. "I jogged back a different way and…I saw this house halfway down the block…There was something about it, like I knew who lived there. In my mind I saw a black car in the driveway, kid's toys in the yard, and a dark-haired man came out with a kid…I think it was me. The car was the Impala." Dean stopped and took another sip of the tea. It seemed to warm him from the inside out and was calming his muddled mind.

"It was sweetie. That's where you lived when you were small," Missouri told him.

"That was my house?" Dean asked slowly as he looked between Bobby and Missouri. "Did you know?" he questioned Bobby.

"Yes son," said Bobby being honest with him.

"Why didn't you tell me or take me there?" asked Dean his voice getting higher and agitated.

"You weren't ready to face what happened Dean. Your mind blocked it out and I wanted you to remember on your own, not with me prompting you. There was a reason you chose not to remember and I thought it might do more harm the good."

"I saw the fire," said Dean in a trembling voice. "Noises woke me that night and I went into the hall. Dad gave me something and told me to go outside…." Dean scrunched his brow together as he pulled the memories up instead of shoving them away again. "He gave me my little brother, Sammy." Dean's eyes got wide when he realized he had a brother in the world out there. "Where's Sammy?"

"I don't know. I figure he was adopted by a family when he was still a baby."

"Sammy…" Dean whispered. "Why would I forget him or what happened to my parents? How could I do that?" he asked desperate for a logical answer.

"Dean, you were a child yourself when it all happened," Missouri tried to explain. "It was a way for you to cope back then. You were too young to really know all that was going on and your young mind couldn't handle it. I guess you could call it traumatic amnesia. Seeing the car and your house brought it all back since you're older now and can handle it better."

"There was something else…In the fire…I saw...I saw something in the flames, but it wasn't burning…I don't understand; how could that be?"

Missouri and Bobby looked at each other not sure how to answer him. Missouri cleared her throat before laying a hand on Dean's arm.

"Something evil came into your house that night and it left a stain there. What killed your parents wasn't the fire or the explosion honey. It was supernatural in nature. I went by there after the fire, and I could still feel traces of it there. It left a doorway open to those forces I'm afraid. The ones who move in there don't stay very long. They say the place is haunted."

"But why?" Dean asked as tears leaked from his eyes. "Why my family?"

"That we don't know son."

"And to have my foster parents killed by a monster…Am I cursed?"

"No honey, I would know if you were. We don't know why things happen, they just do, and we need to find a way to live with it. It'll be okay Dean. You've got me and Bobby here to help you; you're not alone."

"Sammy's out there somewhere; I need find him. I need to know he's okay." Dean bowed his head and swiped an arm across his face to wipe away the tears. He drew in a shaky breath before speaking again.

"That may be hard to do. The orphanage you were at shut down about seven years ago and I don't know where all the files were sent," Missouri told him.

"But we'll try to find him," Bobby added wanting give Dean some hope though he thought it would be almost impossible to do. He knew adopting parents usually changed the names of the babies they adopted.

"I should go take a shower," Dean mumbled pushing the blanket off his legs and handing Missouri the cup. He got up on unsteady legs and made his way toward the stairs. Bobby nor Missouri tried to stop him knowing this was something he would need to come to terms with.

"The boy has a point, why would something come after his family?" Bobby offered once Dean was gone.

"Like I told you, I knew them enough to speak when we met in public. I would see Mary and Dean around town. Dean was such a sweet child, but full of mischief. I could sense Mary had her secrets, but she kept them buried deep. They were so excited when she got pregnant again and had another little boy."

"Maybe I'll do a little digging to see if I can come up with anything," Bobby surmised.

"Well, I guess I should fix us some breakfast and see how the turkey breast is doing," Missouri sighed getting up from the couch.

"I'll keep you company," Bobby replied getting up to join her in the kitchen.

spn

Dean trudged up the stairs and shuffled down the hall to his bedroom. He pulled clean clothes out of his duffle and stepped across the hall to the bathroom. He propped his hands on the counter and looked at his reflection in the mirror seeing a haggard face, red rimmed haunted eye, and pinched mouth. Dean closed his eyes and took some slow, deep breaths to control his anxiety.

What he remembered knocked him for a loop, but he was strong. He had been through a lot in his short life and had survived. He could survive this too. Dean turned on the water and stripped out of his smelly clothes. After checking the temperature of the spray, Dean stepped into the tub and let the water beat on his head hoping it would relieve some of the tenson headache that had started.

He shampooed his hair and washed his body, rinsing good before turning the water off and reaching for a towel to dry his body and hair. After stepping from the tub, Dean slipped on clothes and ran his fingers through his damp hair to comb it. He felt some better and knew he needed to go back downstairs and be with the others. This was Christmas after all. Bobby and Missouri were doing what they could to make it a happy time for him. He gathered his dirty clothes and dropped them in his bedroom before heading downstairs.

The aromas of delicious smelling food met him in the hallway, and he followed it to the kitchen. He found Bobby sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee and Missouri was stirring pots on the stove. He stepped into the room and fidgeted for a moment not sure what to do.

"Dean, child, why don't you sit down and have some breakfast?" Missouri suggested when she saw him. "There's sausage biscuits or I can fix you some oatmeal."

"No," Dean croaked and cleared his throat. "That's fine." He stepped to the counter and watched her pull a plate from the toaster oven with sausage biscuits on it. He used a napkin to pick one up and set it on the table. After pouring a glass of milk, Dean took a seat and forced himself to eat even though his stomach was still uneasy. Once he had eaten a few bites, his stomach seemed to settle allowing him to finish.

"Dean, do you feel like opening some presents?" Missouri asked once she saw he was finished eating. "Or do you want to wait until after lunch?"

Dean looked up at her and thought about it for a moment before replying.

"We can do it now," he softly said. He didn't want to spoil the day for everyone else.

"Alright then, why don't we head into the living room?" Missouri said.

They went into the living room where Bobby and Dean sat on the couch and Missouri went to the small tree to pick up some gifts.

"Okay, let's see these two are for you Dean and this one is for Bobby," said Missouri as she handed out the gifts, making stacks for everyone.

The tone was somber in the room as they started opening their gifts and thanking each for them. Missouri received a silk scarf, assortment of teas, nice throw, and a set of tarot cards. Bobby got gloves and wool scarf, a couple of spell books, and bottle of Jack Daniels. Dean was given several books by his favorite author, a couple of T-shirts, a handheld computer game with several extra game cartridges, and a bucket with car cleaning supplies for the Impala.

Missouri excused herself to check on the food and Bobby and Dean talked about the Impala. Dean turned on the television to watch the parade and to see if he could find a weather report so they could see what it was going to be like for their trip back home in a few days.

Missouri served lunch and they enjoyed a delicious meal, topping it off with homemade pies and banana pudding. Bobby and Dean did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while Missouri put the leftovers away. Dean excused himself and took his gifts upstairs wanting to be alone. He settled on his bed and stared up at the ceiling as he brought an image of his little brother up in his mind. It still upset him that he had pushed the memories of Sammy deep into his mind and sealed them away. Dean wondered where he was now, and what he looked like. He knew Sammy wouldn't remember him since he was so young back then, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying to find his little brother.

Bobby and Dean stayed another day with Missouri before heading back since the weather was calling for a snowstorm to hit in a couple of days. They didn't want to get caught in it and Dean was anxious to start working on the Impala and get her running again. Bobby replenished the herbs and spices he was out of from Missouri's stock and told her he'd let her know how Dean was doing now that he knew about what happened to his family. It was cold and overcast when they headed north to Sioux Falls just ahead of the storm.

It was getting dark when Bobby pulled into the salvage yard later that day. He went ahead and put the Impala in an empty bay so Dean could start working on it while he was still out of school. He hoped it would keep his mind occupied and he wouldn't dwell on his family even though he could tell Dean felt their loss. Bobby knew he couldn't fill that loss but he would be there for him so it wouldn't be so bad.

The one thing Bobby could do was help Dean find out what happened to his brother. He was going to start looking into the orphanage closure and see if he could find out where the records on the kids that stayed there had been send. It would be a start at least, and they could go from there. He knew it was probably going to take time and even then, they might not be able to find out what happened to Sammy. Bobby was sure his last name had been changed and that was going to make it that much harder.

A/N: Dean remembers his family and the fire. He knows he has a brother out there somewhere and is determined to find him. Getting the Impala was VegasGranny's idea, and I ran with it. Hope you liked it. Thanks for coming along for the journey. I do like reviews/comments. NC