I don't own Harry Potter

Molly Weasley sat and watched the proceedings with amusement. Ron and Ginevra were making out, and boy was it getting heated. Harry and Hagrid were locked in a cage on the front lawn of the burrow. As minister for magic, Molly could do as she pleased, and she was enjoying the role she found her way into immensely. Currently she was being kept company by her new husband Argus Filch. Dumbledore had introduced the two and they hit it off quickly. Filch was busy cleaning the pool that Molly had built in the gnome garden after she got her first paycheck. Molly had decided to keep the pigpen of a house known as the burrow because she knew that it had wards stronger than any except Dumbledore's cave and Hogwarts. Molly truly loved Filch and soon the two joined Ron and Ginny in a heated make out session, while Hagrid and Harry knew things were becoming hopeless for them.

Meanwhile at the castle.

Dumbledore was having a bad day, every time he would plot a new plan, Cho would interrupt him and scold him for not being a good father. Cho was taking this very seriously but didn't allow for Dumbledore to have fun. Dumbledore would cheer himself up with a flashback by way of his pensive. Dumbledore grinned as he pulled a pouting Cho over. "Want to see the best flashback yet" he said as they dived into the pensive.

Enter Flashback

Godricks Hollow Halloween

Dumbledore walked through the front door of the Potter's lovely manor where he was greeted by James. "Hello James" said Dumbledore in an oily voice showing off his yellow razor sharp teeth as he began wiping his oozing green mud covered boots on the sofa and carpet of the Potter's lovely manor, which were beige. Just then James took one look at Dumbledore, taking in the cloak he was wearing as well as the boots that he had stolen that oozed with green slime and mud. "It wasn't Voldemort that was after Harry it was you" James exclaimed grabbing his wand. "Guilty" said Dumbledore in a cocky voice with drool going down his excuse of a chin. "Lily its him take Harry and run it was Dumbledore all along" James yelled. Dumbledore and James began dueling and soon Dumbledore had defeated him. Sniffing James and finding nothing of interest he merely stunned him. Dumbledore then flew upstairs where he blasted the blockade Lily had made and tauntingly made his way over. "please what ever piece you want from Harry eat that piece from me" Lily hollered as Dumbledore stunned her. Just then Dumbledore was blasted back and in the blast had his entire beard blasted off. Standing there was Tom Riddle. "Dumbledore I know your secret" Riddle yelled. Hiding his now clean shaven face Dumbledore took off like a bat out of hell, while Voldemort comforted Harry. Just then Dumbledore was back with the aurors and blamed Riddle for the attack. "Come out Tom" Dumbledore yelled as the aurors drew near. Voldemort took off as Snape and some aurors made it upstairs. Snape cried when he saw Lily had lost her mind. Dumbledore saw this and stifled his chuckle at the last minute to a cry to appease Snape.

Back to present.

"And after that I sent Harry to the Dursleys after I of course destroyed his parents minds. Both of them currently reside in St. Mungos where I keep an eye on them and of course take gold from their vaults. But Tom Riddle, or rather Voldemort took the blame. And now after I defeated him, I am the toast of the town, not a bad way to end the day" said Dumbledore in his greasy voice. "Cool story bro" replied Cho as she and Dumbledore began to make out. "lets go check on Molly" said Dumbledore between gasps of air.

Dumbledore and Cho arrived to a strange site, it was Molly riding Filch right there in the yard while Ronald watched. "You got a good ride today huh" Filch wheezed as Molly cackled. "Yes well hello Molly" Dumbledore said awkwardly trying to look elsewhere. Just then Ginny and Ronald began making out "what the" Dumbledore began but Molly cut him off. "Harry and Hagrid are over there" she said pointing to the cheap and obviously used cage in the grass. Dumbledore let out a roar when he saw it was empty!

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