Tsunade was roused from her blissful daydream by the rude slam of papers on her desk.
She scowled at the interruption, then contorted her face into a overly bright smile when she saw who it was.
"Oh, Izumo, good job, good job, thank you for your help!" She chuckled far too loudly to sound innocent and discreetly covered her lottery tickets with her sleeve.
It didn't work.
"Godaime," he said, making a sound like an angry duck. "You were looking at – "
"Mission reports!" she said brazenly. "Of course I was looking at mission reports! Did it seem like I was doing anything else?"
The answer was obviously yes, because the mission reports were on the other side of the desk and impossible to read from the angle she was seated, but Izumo chose not to answer, scowling and muttering under his breath, before bowing as little as decorum allowed and stomping off.
She shook her head in amusement at the sight before turning to address the portrait of her predecessor.
"Sarutobi-sensei, you sure made these ninja melodramatic while I was gone, didn't you?"
Not that she was anyone to talk. Anyway, she really did have to look at mission reports now, or else Shizune would be the one to flip out on her next. Sometimes she missed being on the road. The Hokage never had much free time.
Tsunade picked up a random stack of papers from the recently promoted chuunin squads and gave the first paper a cursory glance, trying desperately to stop her eyes from glazing over.
Team 10...mission report 1575396...B-rank...escort mission...Yamanaka Ino (012604) referred to mission desk for arguing with the noblewoman too much...
Bleh. Such a trivial matter. The noblewoman probably mouthed off to Ino and Ino probably didn't hold back. Not that Tsunade blamed her. No, she was blaming the one who gave Team 10 this mission. Didn't they have any common sense? Tsunade languidly turned the paper aside and reached for another.
Team Guy...mission report 1575397...B-rank...rabid squirrel catching mission...Rock Lee (012561) referred to mission desk for terrifying client and amassing a forestful of squirrels in his arms and claiming them to be his "friends"...
Another bleh. Which idiot was assigning missions to chuunin teams lately? Clearly not anyone who had any experience with Team Guy, or else they would have known to never put Lee on any mission involving rabid squirrels. Did no one ever look at those massive eyebrows and make fitting decisions on where to put him?
What was she, this village's babysitter?
Scowling, she moved this one to the side as well and reached for a third.
Team 8...mission report 1575398...B-rank...bandit catching mission...Hyuuga Hinata (012612)...referred to mission desk for masterminding bandit's capture by cunningly posing as a celebrity and gifting him an autograph...pay raise?
Well, that was nice. Tsunade honestly liked Hinata. She was a capable chuunin who was fast improving in strength and agility, she was always kind and pleasant, and she had very good eyes. Of course Hinata could get a pay raise. Why not?
Smiling, she turned to the next file.
Team 8...mission report 1575399...B-rank...escort mission...Hyuuga Hinata (012612) referred to mission desk for protecting client from another bandit...incident remarks: bandit screamed in terror and fled, yelling something about kidnap attempts when Hyuuga activated her Byakugan...pay raise?
Tsunade blinked, nonplussed, before putting that paper aside too. Ah, well. Sometimes ninja encountered nutcases on their journeys. It was all part of the job. And it looked like Hinata was getting quite the reputation! That was nice. Another pay raise it was.
Team 8...mission report 1575400...B-rank...scroll retrieval mission...Hyuuga Hinata (012612) referred to mission desk after villagers in the Land of Tea saw Team 8 passing by and gave Hyuuga 1,000,000,000 ryo in gold coins "so that she wouldn't call a samurai army on them"...Hyuuga graciously turned it down (is pay raise necessary? please advise...)
Tsunade stared blankly at the words "1,000,000,000 ryo" and "samurai army."
She...supposed that was...nice?
Making Hinata a chuunin was clearly a great choice, Tsunade thought. She struck terror into the enemies of Konoha and commanded a hefty sum of ransom money.
Pay raise it was.
And that was all the attention that Tsunade gave the matter for a while. She would come to regret this.
The River daimyo's granddaughter leaned forwards. Hinata leaned back.
"So how was it like?"
"How was what like, honorable granddaughter?"
Hinata wished her team would stop getting sent out of the village on escort missions. Everyone seemed to know her, and everyone seemed either thrilled to meet her, or terrified to meet her, or believed that she was in control of samurai armies for some inexplicable reason. No one even wanted to fight her lately. They all just screamed and ran away if they saw her activate her Byakugan.
"Your birthday! Hyuuga-san, please tell me all about your birthday!"
"Erm, it was...nice, honorable granddaughter. Kurenai-sensei brought me some cake, and afterwards my teammates and I had a snowball fight."
The girl waved this aside airily. "No, I mean your other birthday. The one when you almost got kidnapped."
Hinata leaned back even more. This didn't stop her fangirl, who didn't appear to care at all that her question went unanswered.
"Is it true that Menma is your boyfriend?"
When did she get a boyfriend? How many people with ramen topping names were there on the planet? Why did these weirdos keep popping up out of the woodwork to ask her about her nonexistent boyfriend and the time someone tried to kidnap her?
She looked to her teammates for help. They didn't. Or rather, they couldn't. They gave her looks of confusion that rivaled Naruto's when he first read the questions during the Chuunin Exams.
"Who is Menma, honorable granddaughter?" she finally asked.
"The one who got angry when your cousin called you a loser!"
Hinata rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. But unfortunately, she was still stuck walking along a forested road in River, and she was being informed that she had a boyfriend named Menma and that he didn't like it when her cousin called her a loser.
She fought the urge to cry in frustration.
Think about the pay raise, think about the pay raise, think about the pay raise.
A/N: Happy this is getting some attention! Tell me what you think of this chapter!