CHAPTER 3: "KANG SAE-BYEOK?"
August 15th, 2020
A loud, gut-wrenching scream resounded, followed by a clattering of trash cans and glass bottles.
She couldn't believe how naïve she'd been. After everything—after all the lives that had been lost, after all the hardship she'd gone through—she still couldn't get her mother across the border.
Because her mother was dead.
Earlier, the broker had told her that her mother was officially missing, but Sae-byeok knew better. In North Korea, "missing" equaled "dead." The broker was currently out cold, and Sae-byeok was as far as she could have gotten before breaking down in her grief.
What would she tell Cheol? How would she tell him that she'd broken the number one promise she'd made? She had only seen him once since returning from the games, and that was to tell him she was one step closer to finding their mother. What use was it now, to have all the money she did? After she had spent a billion won to make sure the broker had no excuse to not find their mother, he had still failed. She had failed. Cheol was all she had left. But even then, she had no idea how she'd move forward.
And that made her absolutely terrified.
Sae-byeok held her arms out, beckoning Cheol to her. But he didn't pick up his pace.
He still walked.
She kneeled down and pulled him towards her when he was close enough, holding him tightly, relieved that nothing had changed on his end. She felt slightly disheartened when it took a good ten seconds for Cheol to reciprocate the hug, for she was very excited.
"Where were you, noona?"
There was a pause. Sae-byeok knew she'd never be able to tell Cheol about what lengths she'd gone to get them the money they needed.
"I have some good news, Cheol," she said instead, hoping her news would properly distract her brother. "I think we'll be reunited with Eomma soon."
Immediately, there was a shift in the mood as Cheol pushed himself away, trying to get a better look at his older sister's face.
"Really?"
For the first time in ages, Sae-byeok grinned.
"Yes, Cheol! Yes! We'll finally be together again, I'm sure of it!"
Everything was a fucking mess. She hated herself so much for failing Cheol and Eomma. How could she have been so clueless, even when she knew her way around? And now she was in the middle of the street, yelling, berating herself for stupidly having hope that everything would end well for her.
And all because of two people.
Gi-hun was the first. He'd been the one to tell her, "You don't trust people because they are trustworthy. You do it because you have nothing else to rely on." He'd been the one to offer her an olive branch—even after she'd pickpocketed him. He'd thrown her out of the way when Deok-su had been about to jump her from behind. Even when he'd first yelled at her to give him his money back, he never called her a bitch or any of the other degrading names men like Deok-su used for women. He'd still called her a lady.
Ji-yeong was the second. She'd been the one who'd listened intently as she divulged the terrible tale of her past. She'd then told her about how much she had missed out on as a Northerner. She had been willing to give up her very life for Sae-byeok—that is, until Sae-byeok figured out a loophole at the last minute.
"Wait. Don't start the game."
The shorter girl whirled around towards her.
"But, but we only have ten minutes left!"
"Doesn't matter. I think I've found a way for both of us to get out alive."
Right then, the girl took three slow steps towards Sae-byeok.
"Are—are you serious?" she whispered, a hopeful look in her eyes.
Sae-byeok nodded quickly.
"Yes. Come with me, we need to find the others."
Taking the girl by the hand, she began searching for Gi-hun, Sang-woo, Ali, and the old man. Though there were others on their team, it was them four who made up the core with Gi-hun and Sang-woo being co-leaders. They needed to know that there was a way everyone could be saved.
"Ajusshi!" Sae-byeok yelled, running forwards past one of the house doors. "Ajusshi!"
Catching on, the girl began mimicking Sae-byeok's cries.
"Ajusshi! Ajusshi!"
"Sae-byeok?" a familiar voice yelled back, making Sae-byeok take a sharp turn right. She was still holding onto the girl's hand. Gi-hun appeared from behind a corner about a meter away, and as soon as he saw the two girls, he rushed towards them.
"Ajusshi, I've found a way for us to all make it out alive," said Sae-byeok quickly, and Gi-hun's eyes widened.
"Tell me, what is it?"
"You remember the instructions?" asked Sae-byeok. "It only says we must take our opponent's marbles. If we switched marbles, then each partner would be a winner!"
As Sae-byeok explained this, the girl beside her gasped loudly.
"Oh, my God," Gi-hun whispered, his eyes widening as his mouth stretched into a watery smile. "Oh, my goodness, you are a genius, Sae-byeok!"
"Yes, yes you are!" the girl agreed, gripping Sae-byeok's arm tightly.
"I'll go and tell the old man, you go find Sang-woo and Ali!" Gi-hun instructed, shooing Sae-byeok and the girl away. "Go, quickly!"
Sae-byeok jerkily nodded before speeding off to find Sang-woo and Ali like Gi-hun had asked. Once she did, she hurriedly relayed the same news she'd relayed to Gi-hun, and instantly, Ali began sobbing in relief. As for Sang-woo, he gave Sae-byeok a small smile and murmured, "Thank you."
After returning to their spot, Sae-byeok and the girl quickly switched their marble bags and presented them to the guard nearest to them. As she held out her bag, Sae-byeok tried to keep her voice level as she spoke.
"The rules stated that we must obtain our opponents' marbles by the time the timer runs out. They never stated we must get all twenty of the marbles. So, we switched our bags. Does that count?"
For a long time, there was no response—not from the guard, and not from the intercom. And though Sae-byeok's face showed no signs of fear, her insides were churning as she anticipated the answer. She dearly hoped to whatever deity was up there that her hunch had been right. If she ended up being wrong, she would never be able to forgive herself.
So when the guard nodded and took their bags, Sae-byeok almost sobbed the way Ali did.
"Player 067, pass. Player 240, pass."
As Sae-byeok and the girl were led to the exit, she heard Gi-hun's, Sang-woo's, Ali's, and the old man's numbers being called out, saying that they had passed, too. It was followed by more numbers of more players—players who had possibly caught onto Sae-byeok's strategy. She felt a swell of happiness, knowing she was responsible for saving all those people. And as she looked to the girl beside her, she couldn't feel more grateful for her presence.
Just as Sae-byeok stepped in the giant dorm, she felt a body slam into her from behind, knocking the wind out of her as two arms flew around her shoulders.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Gi-hun's voice told her, and Sae-byeok could actually feel the man's smile. "Without your quick thinking, there would've been so much grief to go around."
Sae-byeok grew stiff, for no man had hugged her like this before, so warmly and tightly. The only time men had put their hands on her was when they wanted to hurt her or fuck her. And though she knew Gi-hun would never commit such a heinous act, her body ended up a pile of nerves. Gi-hun seemed to notice her stiffness, for he let his arms fall and stepped a good distance away. Surprisingly, Sae-byeok felt rather cold at the lack of contact.
"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly, brushing his hair back. "I—that must've startled you. It's just…I'm so grateful to you."
At first, Sae-byeok didn't say anything, simply rubbing her arms to soothe the tingling sensation Gi-hun's arms left. "It's…it's fine," she then said. Looking up at Gi-hun, she added, "Don't worry about it. I'm glad my strategy worked and that everyone is all right."
Gi-hun offered her a radiant smile before turning to greet Sang-woo and Ali, who had just entered the room.
"Thank you," Ali said as he got closer, bowing slightly. "You saved us. We must repay you in some way."
"We certainly must," Gi-hun agreed.
But Sae-byeok shook her head, looking between Gi-hun and Ali.
"There's no need. I'm happy everyone's safe and sound."
Right as Deok-su stepped through the doors with his goons, she felt an overwhelming amount of fatigue. Rubbing her eyes, she fought a large yawn, figuring she needed to get back to the barricade and sit down. As she started walking there, she heard a set of footsteps following her. She turned to see it was the nose-ringed girl.
"My name's Ji-yeong," she told her. "You won't give me your name, and that's fine. But I think you should know mine—especially given what you now know about me."
Sae-byeok nodded, looking behind to see the rest of the team heading towards them.
"Family name?"
"Don't have one."
Turning back to the girl, Ji-yeong, Sae-byeok let out a breath.
"Kang Sae-byeok."
"What?"
"That's my name. Kang Sae-byeok."
Ji-yeong grinned one of her grins Sae-byeok had seen since she first asked her to join their team.
"That's a really pretty name."
"Thank you."
"Now that I think about it, I was wrong," a new voice—Gi-hun's—chimed in. He had caught up to the girls and heard Ji-yeong's compliment. "Your name does suit you. It suits you very much, Sae-byeok."
Sae-byeok found herself in front of a cafe by the time she pulled herself out of her thoughts.
Why a cafe? she thought, backing away slightly. As if to answer, her stomach grumbled, and figuring she had nothing to do at the moment, she went inside.
Inhaling the scents of pastries, coffee, and cakes, Sae-byeok's stomach grumbled even harder. The barista, apparently noting the new arrival, beckoned Sae-byeok over.
"Welcome!" she greeted. "What would you like?"
Sae-byeok tilted her head up towards the menu and scanned it. She hadn't had any breakfast that morning, too eager to visit the broker for news on her mother. But now it was all for naught, her mind added rather unhelpfully. Clenching her fists slightly, she muttered an order of a cheese danish and a plain black coffee.
Once she had gotten her order, she moved to the very back of the cafe and took a seat, hunching over so that no one would see her face. Through her bangs, she observed each newcomer. There was an elderly couple who took their seats in a booth where the sun pooled. Another customer was a well-dressed man carrying a laptop case and charger. He sat opposite the elderly couple, not even going to the front to make an order. Perhaps he always did his work in this cafe.
When a woman walked in with her daughter, Sae-byeok observed them like she'd observed the first three people. But something struck her about the girl, who had a familiar, salient smile. Sipping her coffee, Sae-byeok made sure to be inconspicuous as she slowly rose from her chair, moving to a table nearer to the one the mother and daughter were sitting at. Immediately, she could see the fatigue behind the mother's relaxed expression, as though she had been under lots of stress. She was telling the girl, "Don't ask for something too fattening, okay? You need to eat as healthy as possible."
"Eomma—"
"No buts," the mother cut through. "Now, what would you like?"
"Appa always lets me get the chocolate croissant."
The mother's face instantly hardened. Was she divorced, Sae-byeok wondered?
"Your dad has no sense when it comes to feeding you, you know this. He always lets you get anything, which I'll have to talk to him about."
As this conversation was unfolding, Sae-byeok concentrated on the girl's smile. There was something familiar about it, but she couldn't pinpoint what. Where had she seen that smile before?
The girl looked down. "Can we wait for him, then?"
"Fine. Do you want a drink in the meanwhile?"
The girl nodded. "Can I have some milk?"
The hardness melted away, replacing itself with a softer look.
"All right, wait here."
And when the girl grinned brightly—a grin that Sae-byeok had seen so many times in a different place—that's when she knew.
She was Gi-hun's girl.
As if the universe had heard her realization, the man in question burst through the cafe doors, wearing the same grin as his daughter. His appearance was very different to the last time she'd seen him. His hair was shorter, and it was heavily streaked with red. Sae-byeok wondered how he'd ended up dying his hair. Perhaps it was impulsive, like so many of his decisions back in the arena.
"Ga-yeong!" he cried, and Ga-yeong looked up. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of her dad's hair.
"Appa! What have you done to your hair?" she gasped, standing up and running towards him.
Gi-hun chuckled loudly and picked Ga-yeong up as his ex-wife turned and nearly dropped the drinks she was holding.
"What in God's name, Gi-hun?"
Gi-hun smiled one of his signature smiles as he reasoned, "It's not like it's completely red."
"You're almost fifty."
"So?" said Gi-hun, and Sae-byeok couldn't help but chuckle at the exchange. "I needed a change. Besides, Eomma likes it."
"If Halmeoni likes it, then I like it," Ga-yeong chirped.
The exchange going on between the three of them lifted Sae-byeok's mood a little, considering the news she'd gotten about her mother. But nonetheless, she didn't want Gi-hun to notice her. She didn't want to be the reason his time with his daughter was interrupted. She briefly wondered how Cheol would get along with Ga-yeong. He certainly needed friends his age, and if Ga-yeong was anything like her father, Sae-byeok gathered she'd be the perfect candidate.
"Well, it's your life," the ex-wife finally conceded. "I suppose you can do whatever you want with it." Giving Ga-yeong a pat on her shoulder, she said, "I'll see you tonight, then."
"Bye, Eomma!" said Ga-yeong, waving. Gi-hun also gave his ex a warm goodbye, smiling as she left the cafe. Once she was gone, Gi-hun immediately turned to his daughter with a sly, knowing look.
"Chocolate croissant?"
"Chocolate croissant."
"Got it."
Taking a bite out of her cheese danish, Sae-byeok jolted. She'd been so mesmerized by the fact Gi-hun was in the same little cafe as her that she'd completely forgotten about her food, which now felt uncomfortably cold on her tongue. Looking down at the small pastry, she wondered why Gi-hun hadn't noticed her by now. Wasn't it obvious she was there? Or was she just that good at hiding?
Quickly eating the rest of the danish, she looked back up to see Gi-hun at the counter, placing his order with the same barista Sae-byeok had placed hers. With his back turned, perhaps she'd be able to make a run for it without him noticing.
Leaving her coffee unfinished, she rose soundlessly, being careful to not make a noise as she slid her chair back under the table. She didn't have a need to be so cautious—the background noise of the cafe was enough to cover her movements—but Sae-byeok wanted to be a hundred percent sure she wouldn't be caught. When the time was right, she began walking towards the exit, keeping her speed level so as to not attract attention. She hunched over so her hair would shield her face from the other people eating.
But even with all the precautions she took, the universe still didn't seem to be on her side, for she felt someone tap the middle of her back.
Sae-byeok stopped, not responding to the touch right away. When she was ready, she turned slowly, coming face to face with the girl she'd identified as Gi-hun's daughter.
"You left your coffee on the table," said Ga-yeong, holding up the unfinished cup.
Sae-byeok simply stared. She didn't know anybody who would actually return someone else's coffee. By leaving it there, Sae-byeok had implied that she didn't wish to finish it and that one of the people who worked there would just throw it away.
"Uh, it's okay," said Sae-byeok, pushing the cup gently towards Ga-yeong. "I left it there for an employee to pick up."
Ga-yeong looked down. "Oh." Looking back up, she gave her an apology.
"It's okay," Sae-byeok assured with a slight nod. "You're very kind."
Ga-yeong giggled a bit at that.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," Sae-byeok replied. Then, without another word, she turned back around and exited the cafe.
She was almost at the intersection down the street when she heard someone shout her name, his voice bouncing off the different buildings and flying into her ears.
"Kang Sae-byeok? Is that really you?"
She continued walking forward, hoping to get to the traffic sign on time. But it was no use. The running footsteps and panting breaths got louder and louder as she got closer to the street.
"It is you, isn't it?" Gi-hun huffed as the running footsteps stopped running. "Or else you would've told me otherwise."
Now, Sae-byeok was at the intersection, and Gi-hun had caught up to her. She didn't want to turn around, for she knew as soon as she did, Gi-hun would eventually know everything about her failure to get her mother back. He had an easy way about him that could extract information from anybody. But the grief and humiliation would be too much for Sae-byeok to bear, because she knew he was too much of an optimist. He'd insist that she try again, saying that "missing" didn't always mean "dead."
"Sae-byeok."
The last of her resolve drained away at that. His voice was too kind, too compassionate to ignore. So she did what he asked her. She turned around.
At once, the corners of Gi-hun's eyes creased as he smiled softly. It was different from the other smiles Sae-byeok had seen from him that morning. This was more coaxing, more relieved.
"I can't believe it," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders as if to make sure she was real. "I've found you. I thought it would've taken longer, to be honest."
"You were looking for me?" For some reason, the knowledge that Gi-hun hadn't forgotten about her made a part of her heart warm greatly.
Gi-hun nodded. "I went to a police station and they gave me the number of your assigned officer. But he was no help at all. He said you ran away from him."
"Yes," Sae-byeok confirmed dispassionately. "I could tell he wanted my brother and I out of his hair. He didn't really care about us though it was what he signed up for."
"I'm so sorry," said Gi-hun. "That officer sounded like a real bastard when I spoke to him."
Sae-byeok smirked, not noticing Gi-hun's wide eyes until the silence stretched for a little longer than normal.
"You…you're smiling," he breathed, his face beaming. "You're actually smiling."
"I guess I am," said Sae-byeok after a moment. She only realized at that point that Gi-hun hadn't seen her smile before. "You should get back to your daughter. Isn't she waiting?"
"Yeah. But it doesn't mean Ga-yeong can't make a new friend."
It took a minute for the implications of Gi-hun's words to fully settle in her mind. Once they did, however, a shock passed through her body, something so euphoric and profound that her stomach felt lighter than a feather. Suddenly, everything—the news about her mother, her chance meeting with Gi-hun, and his offer to introduce her to Ga-yeong—became too much for her. A sob escaped her throat as her eyes squeezed shut, and she quickly buried her head in her hands as she began crying in earnest. And when two arms pulled her close, it wasn't with the impulsivity of the last embrace. This time, it was gentle and secure. They almost cradled her bony form, holding her up so she wouldn't crumble.
For Sae-byeok, this was perhaps the warmest embrace she had ever gotten. Ever since arriving in South Korea with Cheol, no one had shown her any kindness. No one had spared her a glance when she asked for help, going about their lives as though there weren't people from the North suffering, struggling to adjust to the South's wildly different, drastically free society. She knew he understood, because he was now one of the only people who could comprehend and appreciate her pain. They had witnessed the same horror of innocent people dying for the sake of a better life. They had seen people become corrupted and single-minded, discarding their humanity in favor of the bills hanging above them each night, glowing tantalizingly in a gold piggy bank too far for them to reach.
For many years, Sae-byeok had kept her emotions bottled up, knowing that otherwise she'd be labeled as a weakling to be taken advantage of. And early on, she had. When she had first arrived in the South at sixteen, she hadn't known how to navigate the new world she'd landed in. She trusted too easily and got hurt in return. Eventually, she learned how to erect shields so she wouldn't crash anymore, but the emotions never went away. They just became suppressed.
Gi-hun didn't say a word; he simply rubbed circles on her back as she shook. She wondered how he could tell she didn't need words, but actions, to be soothed. Was he always this intuitive? He always seemed to know how to comfort a person at any given moment. No matter what he was feeling himself, he was always there, offering a hand to those who needed it. Sae-byeok was immensely grateful for this.
"Let's go inside," urged Gi-hun tenderly, keeping one hand around her shoulders as he began walking her back to the cafe. By this time, Sae-byeok's tears had dried up, and she felt ready to move on with her day. "Ga-yeong's gonna be real excited when she learns the girl she talked to is in fact her dad's good friend."
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KOREAN USED IN THIS CHAPTER
noona - an honorific Korean males use to address an older sister or an older female friend
ajusshi - an honorific Koreans use to address a middle-aged man
eomma - mom/mommy
appa - dad/daddy
halmeoni - grandma