Hey guys! Before I continue this story, I want to establish that in this AU, Ga-yeong is not going to be moving to America. That way Gi-hun has a chance to really prove himself as a capable father while Ga-yeong makes friends with Sae-byeok, Cheol, and Ji-yeong. With that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
CHAPTER 4: A DUMP MUCH WORSE THAN THE LAST
August 15th, 2020
"It was so nice to meet you, Sae-byeok unnie!"
Gi-hun felt a swell of happiness as Ga-yeong gave Sae-byeok a tight, loving hug.
"It was nice meeting you, too."
It was almost nine. After Gi-hun had introduced Ga-yeong and Sae-byeok to each other, the two girls managed to hit it off after a few false starts involving Ga-yeong trying to kickstart some sort of conversation. The three of them had gone on a little trip around Seoul, visiting the Seoul Museum of History and the Seoul Museum of Art (SeMA for short). While Ga-yeong and Gi-hun had devoured the historical artifacts and the blurbs next to them, Sae-byeok had been drawn to the numerous art pieces adorning SeMA's walls. She had even expressed a wish to one day travel to the Metropolitan Museum in New York, saying that many of the world's most famous paintings were hanging there—not to mention the pretty park near it. Afterwards, they had gone to a place of Sae-byeok's choosing for dinner. She'd ended up choosing a small hole-in-the-wall where she'd eat special meals with Cheol after getting enough money. Then, after getting ice cream, the three of them headed back to Ga-yeong's apartment building, which was where the trio was at this moment.
"Make sure to introduce me to Cheol next time!" Ga-yeong reminded the older girl as Gi-hun took her hand. "I need more guy friends."
Sae-byeok chuckled a bit to Gi-hun's shock, for he hadn't heard the reserved girl do as much as giggle.
"I'll make sure to tell him that the next time I see him."
"Don't run off on me, okay?" requested Gi-hun in a low voice so Ga-yeong wouldn't hear. "It's too dark and I don't want anything happening."
Sae-byeok nodded, saying she'd wait for him in the lobby.
Grinning, Gi-hun called the elevator and led Ga-yeong inside, traveling up to her floor and to her apartment.
After knocking lightly, Gi-hun felt relieved when Eun-ji and not Dae-hyun answered the door.
"You're late."
Gi-hun sighed, brushing his hair back.
"I know, and I'm sorry. We did a lot today, so we didn't notice the time." He ruffled Ga-yeong's hair as he said this. "Can I come in to say goodnight? I won't be long." In a lower voice, he added, "I also need to talk to you about something."
For a long time, Eun-ji stared at him. Her face was very blank save for her eyes, which looked hard upon closer inspection. Her mouth was all but a thin line as she muttered, "Fine. It's a good thing for you that my husband is working late tonight."
Grinning widely, Gi-hun stepped inside the apartment, taking in the beautiful glow of the lamp on the walls, before asking Ga-yeong to show him to her room.
Soon, he was sitting in the middle of a pink space. It was very Ga-yeong, that was for sure. With amusement, he noted that she was starting to take interest in K-pop groups. There was a huge Blackpink poster above her bed's headboard along with a smaller one of 2ne1. On one corner of the room, there was a messily-kept desk with a bulletin board that had small notes tacked onto it. Next to that, there was a door that Gi-hun assumed led to her closet. On it, there was a hanging shelf which held all her accessories. Then, his eyes caught the thing that warmed his heart the most.
It was a collection of pictures with him and her at various places, all put together in a beautiful collage that was taped to her bedroom door. One, Gi-hun saw, was a picture of them at the beach. Ga-yeong was wearing a blue, white polka-dotted one-piece, and he was wearing red trunks with thick navy stripes going across. Eun-ji had taken that picture. It'd been the happiest time he could remember. Gi-hun was holding Ga-yeong on his hip, grinning widely as his aviators brilliantly reflected the sunlight. His daughter's skin glowed as bright as the sand. The water behind them was so clear, it was as if they'd been in Hawaii.
It was then that Ga-yeong opened the door, wearing a cute set of rabbit pajamas. Smiling, Gi-hun stood from the bed and pulled back her comforter, chuckling as Ga-yeong hopped in.
"I missed you saying goodnight," admitted Ga-yeong as Gi-hun tucked her in. "Don't tell Eomma, but you always made me fall asleep the fastest."
Gi-hun gave her a crinkly smile at that.
"You're such a sweet girl, you know that?" he said, sitting by her bed and carding his fingers through her hair. "I'm so proud of you."
"I love you, Appa," murmured Ga-yeong sleepily.
Gi-hun leaned over and planted a loving kiss on her forehead.
"I love you too. Goodnight, my angel."
"Goodnight, Appa."
Gi-hun continued running his fingers through Ga-yeong's hair until the only sound in her room was her even, rhythmic breaths. Then, placing another kiss on her head, he stood, slipping out of the room and trying to make as little noise as possible.
He found Eun-ji sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea.
"What did you want to speak to me about?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"My sudden wealth," he revealed, taking a seat across from his ex-wife. He had been preparing for this moment for a long time.
"Did you get a huge loan?" Eun-ji fired instantly, her voice still low. "Should I be worried?"
"No. What I'm trying to say is…I'm no longer in debt. I've paid everything off."
Silence.
"Ah. I see."
Eun-ji's subdued reaction only served to twist Gi-hun's insides harder. Brushing his hair back, he plowed on.
"I…you see that I'm no longer unable to care for Ga-yeong. I—I can buy her a real meal now. I can get her toys. I can take her to fun places. I've given up gambling for good."
"So?" Eun-ji hissed, standing up. Glaring deeply at him, she continued, "Are you telling me you want to fight for her custody? Is that what you're saying? Because if so…if so—"
Gi-hun shot up from his seat, alarmed.
"No! No! Not like that!" he said, waving his hands in denial. "That's not at all what I meant."
Eun-ji had a wild, fearful look in her eyes, which made Gi-hun quite nervous. Of course he would never try to take Ga-yeong away from her mother. After being married to him for fifteen years, Eun-ji should've known this. Just because they had divorced didn't mean Gi-hun valued Eun-ji any less. He knew she was the more responsible parent. He knew she loved Ga-yeong, too. But she also needed to know that he loved Ga-yeong more than anything—that he was willing to die for her at any given moment.
She needed to know that her daughter finally had her father back.
"Then…what are you saying?" asked Eun-ji cautiously, slowly lowering back into her chair.
"I want to spend more time with her. I want to be involved."
Eun-ji's eyes flashed as she crossed her arms.
"Why should I believe you? Just because you have money, it doesn't mean you can be her dad. My husband already provides for her, brings food to the table, and takes her to school. He gets her clothes and takes her to the doctor when she isn't feeling well. He's being more of a father than you've ever been."
Although a stab of guilt pierced him, Gi-hun was steadfast in his resolve. He would leave the apartment with better visiting arrangements. He didn't want to just be the divorced dad who let his daughter do whatever she wanted because she wasn't his responsibility. He wanted to take responsibility for her welfare. He wanted to actually start being a father again. Even if it meant lots of work, it didn't matter.
None of it did, as long as he had as much of a say in Ga-yeong's wellbeing as Eun-ji.
"I thought this is what you wanted," gulped Gi-hun, brushing his hair back shakily. "Didn't you say, back when I asked for the money, that I didn't deserve to be her dad? That I wasn't there? I'm ready to be there now."
Eun-ji's fingers tightened slightly around the handle of her cup.
"It's late," she murmured, effectively ending the discussion. Glancing at the giant family photo on the wall, she added, "My husband will be home soon."
Gi-hun's eyes followed Eun-ji's to the photo—four happy smiles with no sadness in sight—and he felt yet another stab of guilt.
"You know, that could've been the three of us," he let slip before fully realizing. Turning to Eun-ji, his eyes burning, he whispered, "Aren't I right? If I hadn't messed things up so badly, couldn't that have been the three of us?"
For a long time, Eun-ji didn't answer him, looking lost in her own thoughts. As Gi-hun quickly wiped his eyes, he checked his watch. It was almost ten forty-five. He hoped Sae-byeok hadn't lost her patience with him and left. He knew she had a mighty ability to survive on her own, but after seeing that exchange she'd had with the thug not so long ago, he felt an instinctive need to keep her safe. She was too young to have to rely on herself, and Gi-hun wanted her to have someone to rely on.
"No."
Gi-hun was pulled back to the present.
"What?"
"I don't think we would have lasted," Eun-ji confessed. "I'm sorry."
But contrary to what Eun-ji was thinking, Gi-hun felt immensely relieved. It wasn't for the fact he would've been forced to live without Ga-yeong either way, but the knowledge that it wasn't completely his fault their marriage had broken down. It meant that he wasn't a complete screw-up, that he still had some good things to offer.
"Don't be," Gi-hun said with a soft smile. "It's…it's okay." For he realized that he'd had some grievances against Eun-ji, too, when they'd divorced. He hadn't been able to stand her frequent dismissal of his grief for the day his co-worker, Jeong Kwang-sun, was mercilessly beaten to death. She'd also been suspicious that he wasn't completely loyal to her, which had been absurd in his opinion. But nonetheless, he didn't hold it against her, for he'd done some terrible things, like gambling away most of their savings and spending long nights out drinking. On second thought, he realized that the latter was probably why she'd been slightly suspicious of him. "I'll get going now. But thanks for confirming this. It means a lot."
Eun-ji looked up at Gi-hun, who had stood from his chair.
"That's good."
"Goodnight, Eun-ji," he said as he slipped on his shoes.
To his surprise, Eun-ji's eyes softened.
"Goodnight, Gi-hun."
Holding his hand up, he slipped out the door and quickly headed back down to the lobby, where Sae-byeok was fast asleep. Gi-hun smiled fondly as he walked towards her. She was so peaceful in sleep. Her face was no longer hard, but soft, as though she hadn't bravely escaped the North with her brother. For once, she looked like the kid she was. Sitting down next to her, he ran a hand through her hair, brushing the bangs off her face. Though he would have been content to let her sleep all night, he couldn't let her sleep in such an uncomfortable chair. Besides, he had to take her home. He had to explain why he'd been looking for her in the first place.
"Sorry it took so long," Gi-hun apologized as Sae-byeok's eyes blinked open. As she rubbed them awake, Gi-hun elaborated, "I had to talk some things over with my ex-wife."
"What…what about?" she muttered groggily.
"Ga-yeong. I just asked if I could spend more time with her, be more involved." Adjusting his cap, he added, "Unfortunately, I didn't get an answer this time. But I will soon, I hope."
Sae-byeok nodded slowly, echoing, "Hopefully."
After helping Sae-byeok out of her chair, Gi-hun asked, "Where do you live?"
"Dongjak."
"Damn, that's far," Gi-hun winced. "Good thing you waited. Nobody wants to walk all the way from here to Dongjak. Where in Dongjak do you live?"
"Heukseok-dong. But you don't need to take me home."
"Ah, you can't get away that easy," grinned Gi-hun. "Come on."
Sighing, Sae-byeok began following him to the door.
"All right. Thank you, Gi-hun ssi."
"It's not a problem."
An hour later, the two of them were standing in front of a decrepit complex. In front of it, weeds were springing out of the concrete. The bricks had graffiti sprayed all over them. Some of the windows were broken or not even there. It sickened Gi-hun to know Sae-byeok was living in such a terrible place.
"Jesus," breathed Gi-hun, brushing his hair back stressfully, doing a once-over of the building.
"Thanks," Sae-byeok deadpanned, but she knew it came from a place of concern. "Thank you for taking me home. Goodnight, Gi-hun ssi."
She began heading inside, but Gi-hun placed a restricting hand on her shoulder.
"You are not going in there. This is where the thug found you, isn't it? Or where you found him." Wrinkling his nose, Gi-hun commented, "It reeks of drugs, Sae-byeok. Drugs, tobacco, alcohol—"
"Let me go," Sae-byeok ordered.
"How old are you?" Gi-hun asked as an answer.
"Eighteen."
Gi-hun kept from grinning at how close he'd been in his guess. He kept his expression serious as he replied, "Then no, I will not let you go back in there. At least, not alone. Show me where your floor is."
There was a moment in which Sae-byeok hesitated before she walked forward, Gi-hun's hand falling from her shoulder as he followed close behind.
Creeping through the building set Gi-hun on edge. His fists instinctively clenched as he glanced furtively at all the addicts, drunkards, and smokers they passed. Many of them had an unkempt, shabby appearance. No—scratch that—they were straight-up filthy. His insides squirmed as he saw the grime that coated their nails, the stench that surrounded their bodies. Their clothes were caked with dirt and stained with liquids—Gi-hun had no desire to learn what said liquids were. Though neither of them noticed, Gi-hun ended up with his arm around Sae-byeok's shoulders, and Sae-byeok leaned in, starting to realize she wasn't alone anymore.
After climbing three flights of stairs, they reached the floor Sae-byeok lived on. It was at that point Gi-hun strode in front of her, ordering her to stand back.
"You do realize I know this place better than you?" Sae-byeok pointed out.
"That'll be helpful for when you show me where your stuff is," Gi-hun replied, brushing his hair back.
"Wait, why are you—"
"Do you have a suitcase, Sae-byeok?" he cut through, turning back to her. Without waiting for a response, he pointed to a door where the paint was peeling and there were a few blood spatters. "Is this your place?"
"Why are you asking if I have a suitcase?" demanded Sae-byeok.
"Answer my question first."
"It is my place. But where are you going to take me?"
"Somewhere that's not here," Gi-hun replied, wrenching open the door. Once again, Gi-hun felt overwhelmingly sick as he got a look at the rotting floorboards, the rats skittering about, and a roach that was settled on the far end of one of the walls. The paint, like on the door, was peeling. The only piece of furniture was a blue, faded couch. There were too many stains to count, and there was even a tear on one of the arms. He instructed Sae-byeok to gather her things while he looked for something to put them in. As he started his search, he pulled out his phone and called Eomma.
After a few rings, Eomma picked up.
"Gi-hun, why are you still out? It's almost twelve! Did you drop Ga-yeong off?"
"Yes, Eomma," muttered Gi-hun as he rummaged through some things. "But I won't be coming home tonight."
"Why? I thought you'd sworn never to do that—"
"It's not for anything bad," Gi-hun assured. "I promise, there's a reason behind it."
"Please, Gi-hun. Come home. Did you even eat dinner?"
Gi-hun smiled sadly as he finally managed to find a musty suitcase shoved in a corner of one of the closets. Even after all these years, his mother still worried for him as though he was a little boy.
"We did. But I can't come. I'll explain tomorrow. You go to sleep."
The silence from the other end stretched for so long that Gi-hun thought Eomma had hung up, but then she said, "All right. Goodnight, Gi-hun."
"Goodnight, Eomma."
After hanging up, Gi-hun dragged the suitcase out to where the couch was.
"Sae-byeok!" he called. "Have you gathered your things? I found a suitcase!"
"Almost!" Sae-byeok's voice replied, and Gi-hun craned his head in the direction of a long corridor.
Not a minute later did Sae-byeok emerge with only a handful of clothes as well as a hairbrush, toothbrush, and a flat tube of toothpaste.
"Come on, let's put your stuff in," said Gi-hun gently. "I'm gonna book a couple of rooms at a hotel and we can stay there tonight."
Nodding, Sae-byeok dumped her things into the bag. Then, the two of them quickly headed out of the room, back down to the ground floor, and out to the street. Once there, Gi-hun called an Uber, choosing the nicest hotel close to them.
They ended up in front of a place called Fairfield. As Sae-byeok got out from one side, Gi-hun rummaged through his pockets, pulling out the fare.
"Kamsahamnida," said Gi-hun, placing the money in her outstretched palm before bowing slightly. Then, he grabbed Sae-byeok's suitcase and got out from the other side.
Heading inside, Gi-hun took charge once again by striding towards the check-in desk.
"I need to book a couple of rooms for one night. Can you do that?"
"Let me check," said the receptionist, adjusting his glasses before letting his fingers fly across the keyboard. Looking up, he asked, "Do you want rooms on the same floor?"
There was an option for that? Nice, Gi-hun thought.
"Yeah, that'd be great."
After some more key-clicking, the receptionist informed them that there were two rooms available on the thirteenth floor.
"Would you like them next to each other? If so, there will be a door joining the rooms together."
"Yes!" Gi-hun said, nodding quickly. Looking back at Sae-byeok, he added, "That would be awesome."
"Excellent." The receptionist soon gave them two sets of keycards. "Thank you for choosing to stay at Fairfield."
"Come on," Gi-hun whispered to Sae-byeok, pulling her suitcase towards the elevators. It was then he realized that he didn't have clothes to change into. No matter, he assured himself, not wanting to worry Sae-byeok with his predicament. It's not like it's the end of the world. When they reached the elevator, GI-hun held the doors open so Sae-byeok could go in first, following in from behind. He was thankful when he saw that the inside was empty.
"Gi-hun ssi, why are you doing this?"
Gi-hun had punched the button labeled 13 when Sae-byeok asked the question. It broke his heart to hear the confusion and disbelief in her tone. How many people had hurt her, he wondered?
"Because no one deserves to go through what you're going through. You're too young for all this." What Gi-hun didn't mention was that he was starting to see her as one of his own. He never denied that he'd felt a parental instinct when he'd asked Sae-byeok to join their team. He had realized at that point that she had probably been through a lot to get involved with a gangster like Player 101, and he'd forgiven her.
"Then you would've taken me to a shelter," Sae-byeok answered.
They reached the thirteenth floor.
"Why don't you get changed and take a long, hot shower?" Gi-hun suggested as they began heading down the hallway. "Just think about the soft mattress when you go to sleep tonight and how nice that'll feel!"
Sae-byeok nodded, plowing ahead until she reached her door. Just as she was about to open it, however, she turned to Gi-hun. Gi-hun mimicked her stance, waiting patiently for what she had in mind.
A smile creeped on Sae-byeok's face.
"Thank you for everything so far, Gi-hun ssi."
Gi-hun grinned in return. He was so, so glad Sae-byeok was opening up more. Soon, she'd be expressing her emotions freely, and it would be like they were a real family.
"Of course, Sae-byeok." He ruffled her hair with deep affection. "It's what friends are for."
Let me know what you think of this development! Did'ja like the angst?
KOREAN USED IN THIS CHAPTER
unnie - an honorific Korean females use to address an older sister or an older female friend
ssi - an honorific Koreans use if they know someone's name but have a formal relationship with them; the same as "Mr." or "Ms."
eomma - mom/mommy
kamsahamnida - thank you