Chapter 2 - Alice's Vision

While the day of the news coverage stayed in the back of my mind, the rest of the family seemed to get sucked into the regularity of life. Carlisle went to work, Esme designed for future homes, and Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I went to school. The routine helped calm my mind, even if they were masking their feelings to stop me from overthinking.

As the Spring began giving into summer fully, the days of summer vacation were growing closer. We were only a few weeks away from prom (which I had vehemently argued that I did not need to experience for a second time), graduation, and break. The break was what I was looking forward to the most. Last summer had been joyful and content - just Edward and I most of the days.

This summer, I was convinced it would be different and better. While last summer I had battled with an Edward that I would later learn was looking for a reason to leave for my safety, this Edward was sitting right next to me throughout. He was still bringing up college daily, asking what area I was looking for and what major I was leaning towards that day. My answer had shifted to "Literature" because I had very few other skills to build upon. He had gotten right to work.

After English class, I walked out beside Alice to find both Jasper and Edward standing by the lockers to wait for us. It was time for lunch and Edward casually took my book bag from my shoulder before wrapping my hand around his arm to lead the way. Alice jumped on Jasper's back and I looked up at Edward expectantly, looking for an equal show of affection. He leaned down to briefly touch his lips to mine before continuing down the hall.

I could have sworn I heard some girls nearby gasp. Edward was so old fashioned about PDA that he worked actively to avoid the situation of anyone ever seeing our lips touch. I was slightly smug about the whole moment.

"So," Edward began as we strolled to the lunch line, "My family and I had an interesting conversation last night."

Feeling playful and excited from our small show of affection, "Kill, marry, kiss?"

His face went mostly blank as he stared at me, "What?"

"You know; Kill, marry, or kiss,"

"I am okay with not knowing what you are referring to,"

"You've never heard someone thinking about the game?"

"It's a game?"

I laughed, rubbing his arm before going ahead and grabbing the veggie bowl that looked particularly good. There were small moments when I would know some small cultural reference that he didn't know. It is a minor glory moment. He grabbed a few miscellaneous items that would be enough to feed everyone sitting at the table with some to spare. He pulled out his wallet to pay as he effectively held the backpack out of my reach.

Sneaky move.

We headed towards the table and he nudged my shoulder, "You're really not going to go into details here?"

A part of me had thought he was kidding, but I sat in the seat and explained, "It's a game. You give the other player three random people: they could be famous or some people you know. Then, you have to decide who you would kill or kiss or marry. It's simple. I assumed Emmett would have known about that game somehow."

Jasper had been listening and shuddered at the idea, "Do not give him that idea."

"Deal," I agreed, taking a carrot from the tray.

"Anyways," Edward still seemed baffled at the game but turned towards me, "My family and I were discussing last night and we thought that a family trip might be nice for us to take."

A part of my brain remembered his words in the meadow that day, but I pushed them back. Jasper glanced up at me and Edward's eyebrows furrowed as they registered my feelings. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. It seemed to register on Edward's face and he pulled me closer into his side, kissing my forehead.

"I'm sorry," He whispered against my skin.

"Don't be," I leaned up to kiss his cheek, "It's just my head. Anyway, you were talking about a vacation."

"Yes," He nodded and then emphasized his next sentence, "A family vacation with all of us."

I smiled softly at his effort and nodded, "That could be fun."

Alice huffed, getting impatient with Edward's storytelling skills, "It would be more than fun. It would be such an adventure. We've all been around the world so many times that nothing seems all that new or exciting. Well, that's not true. There are a lot of places we haven't gone to and we write down what we should do despite the fact that we certainly don't need an inked up list to keep everything in our mind."

It was a good thing she didn't need to breathe to survive. She could hardly get the words out of her.

She continued, "Anyway, you haven't seen much and we thought it would be good to take you to some of our favorite places. Maybe even leave the country! I mean, let's face it, most of the other places in the world hold much better areas. You would love so much of it! We had so many ideas! I can't even begin to narrow down the list!"

If I wasn't used to Alice by now, I would have been dizzy.

In fact, I had to comment on her self-restraint, "I'm surprised you didn't spill that in English class."

She pointed at Edward, "He was muttering threats under his breath all morning. I almost burst."

"And yet," Edward added, "You still didn't let me give the details."

"You got to mention the vacation," Alice raised an eyebrow in defiance.

I could see the sibling challenge arise and I cleared my throat, "Well, I think that sounds like fun. Whatever or wherever it is."

Alice squeaked, her fist coming up and together in excitement in front of her chest. Jasper looked at her for a moment, his expression a mask of adoration. She hopped up from her seat and came to sit next to me, "I have to ask - do you have a bucket list of all the places you've wanted to go?"

I thought about it. I had certainly read about the world and the different places that there was to offer, but nothing had ever been put on a list. Edward looked curious as well, and I worried he was thinking of the future money he could spend on me doing an extravagant vacation. I shrugged.

"I don't have a bucket list," I admitted, "Renee and I traveled a lot when I was younger. Mostly just road trips and seeing oddities across the country. We would just see a cool sign and drive fifty miles to see the "World's Largest Ketchup Bottle" or something silly like that. I never thought much about traveling beyond that."

"Hmm," Alice spaced out a bit, trying to see the future, "We'll have to work on that."

"There's very little limit," Edward added, holding an orange and slowly starting to peel it, "It would be challenging to have us in too tropical of an area, but it still would be manageable."

"Just more night activities," Jasper added, also peeling an orange.

I tried to imagine them all on vacation. Renee would usually go out to find a whole new wardrobe, a new hairdo, and sometimes brand new jewelry just to go on vacation. I could imagine Rose and Alice being in that category. The sudden image of Edward in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts caused a giggle to well up in my chest.

"What?" Edward looked at me, curious - always - of what was going on in my mind.

"Just a funny image," I took a slice of the orange that he just peeled and popped it into my mouth, "But choosing somewhere that is not tropical won't be a problem. Obviously, I'm not the best with sunlight anymore."

Edward's fingers ran over the back of my arm, where the skin had finally stopped peeling. He had been worried each night, trying to get the skin to calm down with lotion. Even with his help, the itch of the new skin drove me mad some nights - his cold skin was the only thing that managed to calm it down.

"True," He agreed, probably thinking of the stress he would endure as he chased me around mad with sunscreen.

"Esme was actually the one who suggested it," Alice chirped, still next to me, "We've done a lot of vacation in the past, but she said that we had a new start with a new member of the family. She loves the idea of showing you everything before and after your change. You might be able to compare the two to see how much detail you see after."

Edward slightly stiffened. I sent him a glance, raising one eyebrow at his uncomfortability. It was still a touchy subject when mentioned in the normal world. We had agreed - mostly. I had the family on my side and his reluctance. When the change was mentioned when it was just us, somewhere away from prying eyes or family, he seemed to react better.

At the core of it, that's what mattered. It would be him and I in the end. It would be us.

I patted his hand, letting him have his usual moment while Jasper seemed to watch him closely. I turned and looked back at Alice, "Sounds fun."

For the rest of the school day, I imagined a way to tell Charlie. Even though the summer would bring the official marker of my independence, I still didn't want him to be upset or unhappy about the vacation. He was still weary of the Cullen after their return, seeming to be waiting for the shoe to drop. He had even pulled Edward aside for a heart - to - heart (or a gun - to - head) talk. Edward had found it necessary. I felt awkward.

It all passed in a blur. Now that finals were not a worry for my future, I was able to focus on one unit at a time and breeze through. The idea of talking to Charlie played in my head all the way up to the final bell ringing. I walked to my locker in a thoughtful state, putting my Calculus book away for the day thanks to finishing the homework in my last hour. I grabbed my English book before my backpack suddenly disappeared from my shoulder - a sure sign that Edward was near.

"Hey," I smiled up at him, putting my book into his open hand as he packed it into my bag.

He smiled softly, "Ready to go home?"

"Which home?"

"Alice suggested we head to Charlie's…possibly bring up this vacation,"

I groaned. She had seen my indecision.

"I'm sure he'll love the idea," I sighed, closing my locker and following his lead to the car.

He smiled softly, "He's doing better with everything. I think he doesn't hate me. He doesn't curse my name in his sleep anymore, at least."

"Improvement," I conceded, remembering how Edward had laughed one night out of nowhere, reciting what he was hearing from Charlie's sleep talking. I had been mortified and ashamed. He had reassured me that he would have done the very same thing if he had a daughter.

While walking through the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice the strange silence that fell over the student body. It was only a few weeks before summer and it was the end of the day - this usually called for lively conversation. Instead, there was a blanket of eerie silence. I looked around, seeing familiar faces looking more serious than I had ever seen them. I turned to look at Edward, seeing his face becoming stone as he quickened our pace towards the car.

Alice appeared next to me, taking my arm. Jasper was right behind me. I suddenly felt like I was being boxed in.

"Did I miss something?" I asked, looking around.

"Let's get in the car," Edward opened my door and let me in. I slid in, watching them all get in at slightly faster speeds than normal for humans.

Edward turned on the radio as Alice and Jasper took out their phones. I realized I hadn't looked at mine all morning and took it out. Renee had called twice and there were news bubbles popping up.

The new radio talk show host spoke through the car speakers, "While we have not had any confirmation from our international figures, there have been sightings of movement over the nuclear base in Russia. The President of the United States is calling for the nation to remain calm during this time of speculation. The press conference is planned for this afternoon."

I didn't realize the words were affecting me so much until I felt my heart stutter, painfully bursting into a faster pace as the words settled into my mind. While I wanted to remain unphased and unworried, the idea of this type of threat made my skin crawl. It seemed like it was taken right out of a movie. A movie I didn't want to see.

"They are saying that all nations are on high alert. The missile grounds are open for everyone to see. I still think this might be an extreme tactic to get something," Jasper mumbled so low that I had to listen very closely.

"What could they want? Who could they want it from?" Alice asked, her eyebrows furrowed. The one thing that I had learned about Alice's visions was that they often stayed close to home. This was another country, another group of people, that were out of her realm of normalcy. I could see her face as she struggled through the future possibilities.

Jasper chuckled darkly, "They won't tell us. It's something secret. They would want to keep it that way."

The voice continued, "This is one of the first days where we have realized there is some weight behind this potential threat. It brings us to the discussion of what types of nuclear warfare are still out there and active. Rumors of the prototypes that were originally created by the USSR have begun circulating. It is extremely curious how little we know about the state of nuclear weaponry."

I leaned back in my seat, feeling like the world was somehow bigger and smaller at once. This felt more threatening than the Volturi or Victoria. This felt like it was impending and close. I wrapped my arms around myself as the anchor kept discussing the various types of nuclear bombs. Ones that would put the ones that dropped in Hiroshima to shame.

"Maybe you two should come and talk with the family instead," Jasper suggested. I glanced over at Edward, feeling my anxiety straining to stay inside of my chest.

"Okay," He agreed, starting the car and heading towards the house.

Jasper spent most of the car ride sending calming waves towards me, which only worked so much. Edward eventually turned the radio down as my heart remained at a steady increased beat while we drove to the house. I took his hand in mine, wrapping my fingers securely around his as I looked out the window. I realized that I should have paid more attention during all of the Cold War lessons that we had gone through over the past few years. What should we be worried about? Was this war again?

Edward's thumb ran soothing circles over the back of my hand. I focused on that as the trees passed us as we got further into the forest towards the strange road that led to their house. With his hand, I seemed to start gaining some composure by the time that we arrived at the Cullen house, as I easily got out of the car and headed towards the house.

Within minutes, Carlisle's car pulled up next to the Volvo as I looked out their kitchen window. Esme was fussing over finding me an after school snack, but my stomach could hardly imagine food going down easily now. Rose and Emmett appeared a bit later, Rose having a stain of oil on her shirt that she was scowling at. I saw Edward slightly roll his eyes with his back to her as that seemed to be the main concern on her mind.

"You should eat," Esme moved the peanut sandwich towards me. I swallowed back my lack of appetite and took a nibble off the corner of the sandwich.

I chewed my bite slowly and felt her arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me slightly into her. Her natural maternal instinct seemed to pull me in and I leaned against her shoulder as everyone began to gather in the kitchen. Edward and Alice shared a look that I tried to ignore, knowing that Alice was most likely scanning on the possible ways this situation could go. He sighed from whatever she saw and turned back towards me.

"Why don't we save some of this for later?" He looked at me for confirmation and I nodded, watching as he grabbed a plastic bag to gather the remains in.

"Come on," Alice took my arm and headed into the living room. Alice ushered me over to the chase lounge, having me sit with my legs spread in front of me. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm not that fragile. I'm okay," I whispered and she nodded and took a seat by my legs.

"Maybe it's not just for you," She smiled softly and laid one of her hands on my leg.

Edward came and sat behind me, letting my back rest against his chest like we had just a few weeks ago when the news had first come across the television. I had thought we brushed it aside, but it was becoming too real to ignore. I closed my eyes to keep my thoughts at bay as I felt Jasper's eyes watching me.

"So," Carlisle sighed, sitting down in a leather chair that was in the corner of the room. Esme came and sat on the arm of his chair, "This is becoming more serious than we thought."

"It's gaining more public attention. Which could be the exact thing that they want or it is not just a fear tactic," Jasper came and stood by where Alice sat next to my legs, one hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"What are your thoughts?" Esme looked at Carlisle, her eyes showing her trust in his decision.

"I don't know," Carlisle seemed to speak honestly, "not at this point. There's nothing that we know for sure. For all we know, this could be just another thing that gets brushed under the carpet."

"But we usually prepare," Rose's voice jumped in. Her worry was clear in her eyes. She hated anything that put the family in any sort of risk. I was momentarily thankful that this threat could not be blamed on me for once.

"How do you even prepare for something like this?" Emmett asked, looking around at everyone. There was a momentary silence and I leaned further back into Edward's chest.

"Supplies. Potentially gathering up materials in case we need to move immediately. Plans to meet if there was a separation. A potential set up at a meeting point," Carlisle said this as if they had done this before. I wondered about all the crises that were left out of the history books.

Esme sighed, "I can't believe this is even a possibility."

"Nothings set in stone," Alice sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand, "There's a lot of movement in the future. I can't see much clearly. There are a lot of different factors that would lead to this and I can't narrow down who would need to make the decision for the future to change."

"But you don't see the world exploding right now, right?" Emmett asked. Rose smacked his chest lightly for his tactless words but her eyes flashed to Alice to wait for her answer.

"No, nothing that severe at this point,"

"Well, I think we're good then,"

"It's not that simple, Emmett. You know that,"

"Could it even affect us?" He asked and the room was silent, looking around each other

"I don't know if…I don't think a vampire has ever been in a close enough range to test that theory. We might have to reach out and see if there were any vampires that were there for the testing or the bombs in Hiroshima," Carlisle's eyebrows were scrunched together.

Jasper looked over at Alice, "I feel like it would have to affect us. Somehow. Maybe not the after effects with radiation but…I don't think our bodies could even withstand the pure heat and power that happens in the immediate radius."

I felt even more nauseous.

"You're probably right," Carlisle sighed, "So we would have to build a bunker of some sort. Or plan to move. Or plan for both possibilities."

They began to discuss the various materials that a bunker could be made out of and where they could start building it underground. It all made sense, but my mind was caught on the fact that this could affect them just as much as me. It was true - the radiation would probably leave them unharmed. However, the blast would not leave the same results. I remembered Edward's words from so long ago.

Tear him apart and burn the pieces.

Wouldn't that be exactly what a nuclear bomb would do?

I abruptly got up (or as abruptly as I could considering I was in a room with vampires) and raced towards their bathroom. Alice rushed after me with Edward hot on her heels. I reached their toilet and violently got rid of both lunch and the few bites of the peanut butter sandwich. The force of it took out my knees and I sank to the floor as I continued to dry heave.

"Hey," Edward's voice was next to me as Alice pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I felt his arms move around me, "Hey, it's going to be okay. Breathe."

I tried to listen to him through my breathing, but it was hard as the pounding continued in my head. I breathed deeply through my nose as I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth with a bit of toilet paper.

The worst thing about loving a vampire family? Every single member of the household just heard me getting sick.

"Come here," Edward whispered, pulling me into his chest and rising to his feet. I let him carry me up and away. I realized quickly that he was taking me up to his room and laying me on his couch. It actually felt good to be laying horizontal.

After I swallowed down a mint, I felt my face become flushed with the reality of my reaction. I covered my face with my hands, "Oh god."

Edward was up on his feet, "Are you going to get sick again?"

"No," I shook my head, running one hand through my hair, "But I definitely just looked like a nervous wreck."

He shook his head, crouching down by the couch with his hand coming to move my stray hairs out of my face, "Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure if any of us could, we would."

I sighed, letting my hands fall and looking up at him. He was leaning slightly over me now, his face full of concern. I wondered which thing he was focused on; my health or the threat of the world. Either way, I reached up to touch his cheek.

"Are you okay?" I had to ask.

"Yes, Bella," He said so quietly that I almost couldn't hear it.

We were quiet for a minute and he continued to talk quietly, as if he was worried my emotions would suddenly explode…which, to be fair, had already happened, "I don't want you to worry, love. Yes, this is something to keep in the back of our heads, but there would be a lot more going on if this were really happening. The best thing to do is to be prepared. That's all. That's the only reason why we're talking like this."

I nodded, trying to focus on the logic of his words. The anxiety was momentarily at ease from the sudden burst of emotions I had experienced moments ago. I wondered how Jasper had reacted to my feelings.

"You guys do need to prepare," I thought of all that was said, "I never even thought about you all needing a bunker. That would be…oh." I had to stop. I could feel the bile building in the back of my throat.

"Bella," He almost scolded, lifting me up from the couch and wrapping me up in his lap. I rested against his chest, my head on his shoulder as we were both now crouched on the floor.

"Believe it or not," He whispered into my hair, "My primary concern is you. The odds of us being near the area of it happening would be slim. We're very underpopulated around here and I can hardly imagine Seattle being the prospect of interest. The aftermath, though, could affect you much more than it would us. We need to prepare for that."

I thought of it all too, but I shook my head, "Can we just…not focus on that for a bit now? Until we have to? Which probably won't even happen, right?"

He smiled his crooked smile and my heart relaxed in my chest, "Right."

Calculus became my enemy over the next several weeks. I had been distracted during several lessons, as was the rest of the student body, and I could feel my confusion growing as the lessons were coming towards the unit exam. I was frustrated with myself, unsure of why it wasn't clicking like it usually did. Alice would nudge my shoulder mid class to keep me focused, but the material kept drifting out of my mind without my control.

The days went on much the same as they always did at Forks. Of course, with real world drama seeping into the town, there were a lot more conversations that I tried my best to ignore. At least they were no longer circling around Edward, I, and our repaired relationships. I had heard several girls whispering about how wonderful it would have felt to have him by their side to rub in what I had lost.

Luckily for them, that would never happen.

On a Thursday afternoon, the sun had come out midday during the school day which forced some unhappy Cullens to go home for the afternoon. I had finished up my day before heading back to Charlie's to make dinner and study for the Calculus test at the end of the week.

I spread out my materials along the kitchen table, trying to practice problems between sauteing vegetables and thawing some meat. I double-checked my answers only to find that I had somehow still managed to mess up the math. By my third round with the same problem - and growing nowhere closer to the correct answer - I tossed my pencil on the ground and huffed in frustration.

Taking a minute to cool down from my own frustration, I headed to the living room while the meal was in the oven and the Calculus book stayed open on the problem that was killing my brain. I turned on the television, looking for a brief distraction. An old show that Renee used to love came on and I put it on for comfort.

Renee had called me more regularly the last several weeks. She was paranoid, even more than Edward on most days. She had thought of every possible scenario, including ones where zombies would come up as a result of the radiation. Edward had arrived in my room for that conversation and had to hide in my closet to keep the laughter from reaching the phone. Her crazy thoughts made the reality of it all that much easier to comprehend.

Still, she had valid concerns. She was curious of what my plan would be if anything were to occur. My answer was obvious to me, but still did not seem to sit well with Charlie or Renee. I was going where Edward was going. To them this seemed silly - two teenagers running off in a national emergency - but I knew the safest place would be with him. They had seemed reluctant to even discuss the matter and I know we all hoped that this was not going to become reality.

As I got lost in thought, Charlie's cruiser drove up into the driveway. I jumped back up to make sure dinner was almost ready as he came through the front door.

In all honesty, he looked exhausted. He hadn't been completely honest with me, as I had begged Edward to make sure that he was okay after a particularly rough night. The city of Forks was small, but it was close to many other cities that were calling in for reinforcements as people were starting to become violent and uncivil. People were pointing fingers at their neighbors, causing scenes in public, and being overly nasty. It was weighing down on him every day.

"Hey," I greeted, trying to ignore the scribbled paper of my Calculus homework.

He smiled, taking off his jacket, "Hey, Bells. How was your day?"

"Good," I pulled dinner out of the oven as he practically collapsed into a chair in front of the table, "Studying for a Calculus test."

"Hmm," He peeked over into my open book, scanning the page before raising both eyebrows, "Damn, I don't know how kids do it nowadays."

I rolled my eyes, "You would have just done it if it was there when you were there. I know you did pretty good in school."

"Only with the goal to get the hell out of there,"

"We all have to have our goals,"

"True,"

There was silence for a moment as I began pulling out plates. Usually, he hopped up and went for a plate quickly once he got a good whiff of whatever I made. I glanced over my shoulder at him, seeing him sitting still in his chair. My movements slowed down as I took in his appearance, watching his eyes remain unmoving as he looked at the wall.

I cleared my throat a bit, "Everything okay?"

My voice seemed to wake him up and he stood up, coming for a plate, "Yeah, yeah. I'm good."

We made our food and then sat at the table, facing one another as we ate. Charlie had never been a man of many words - in fact, his silence had grown to be one of the constant comforts of my days. However, his silence felt different this time. His face looked conflicted instead of thoughtful as it usually did. I watched him between bites, realizing that he was completely disconnected from the table or this dinner.

"So," I started, desperate for normalcy, "The Cullens are still thinking of someplace for vacation. We are narrowing down our ideas this weekend."

He nodded for a moment, chewing a green bean. Whenever he chewed with thought, his mustache would seem to move in a circular motion on his face. He thought it over before he looked up at my waiting expression.

He set his fork down and sighed, "Do you think that's a good idea right now?"

"I mean," I sighed. In honesty, I didn't know. I knew that the Cullens would never take an unnecessary risk - the past had taught me that about them. This didn't seem like one of those times, "Dr. Cullen is careful with everything. He and Mrs. Cullen still think it's a good idea."

"Hmm," He remained quiet for a second before continuing, "I'll want to talk to him a bit about all of this."

"Do you…" I didn't know how to ask this, "...do you think there's real cause for worry."

He chuckled, "It's a world of human beings. There's always room to worry."

I didn't love that answer, so I stayed quiet before he began explaining.

"This could be nothing, Bells. Fear works well, though. It's causing people to act differently than they normally would. Port Angeles and Seattle are struggling to keep people calm and collected. The armed robberies have gone up by 20% since the first announcement a few weeks ago. It's making bad people go worse and average people go mad. That's my real concern. A bunch of kids and two adults out with the madness of the world,"

Teenage vampires I wanted to add.

I nodded, though. There was no use arguing with him in this state, nor did I want to make his day worse than it probably already was, "Okay."

I tried to hide my slightly glum face but he caught on quickly. He sighed, picking back up his fork and taking another bite of his dinner. He chewed slowly before saying, in a lighter tone, "I'll talk with them about. Hopefully, the next few weeks will work out better than the last few have."

I could manage with that. I went back to eating and the silence, the kind of silence that I could deal with well, fell naturally over the two of us. It felt good to be somewhat normal.

Just as I was really beginning to enjoy the evening, Charlie leaned over to look at the book, "Now, how the hell does this problem work?"

I groaned.

I woke up with a start, my heart pounding in my chest as I sat up. I was disoriented, trying to figure out if it was in the middle of the night or the middle of the day. My eyes struggled to adjust, looking around the room at my alarm clock that flashed 2:38 in bright green numbers. I huffed, falling back onto my back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Bella?" A whisper came from my window and I turned just in time to see Edward crawling through it.

I sighed with relief, "Hi."

"Alice had a vision," He immediately came and laid down in the bed beside me. I was thankful that he ignored the usual barrier of blankets to curl his arms around me. I grabbed onto his shirt, burrowing my face into his chest to breathe him in, "She said you wouldn't get back to sleep if I didn't come."

"You didn't have to come if you were busy," I whispered but I gripped onto his shirt tighter.

"Shhh," He whispered into my hair, "This is the only place I ever really want to be."

I smiled at his words, still burrowed tightly into his chest. His hands ran circles on my back and I felt the tension from the dream unlatching itself from me. I settled in, relaxing back into the mattress.

"What was the dream?" He asked, clearly trying to contain his curiosity.

I thought for a moment, but I couldn't pinpoint an exact memory of the dream. Just the fear and panic that had risen in my chest and broke clear through to my consciousness, "I really don't remember. Just the bad feelings."

"I'm sorry," His cool lips touched against my cheek. I lifted my head a bit to give him better access, "I should have been here."

His lips were now dancing along my jaw and my heart was back to pounding but for an entirely different reason, "I can't steal you every night. I have to learn to share."

He scoffed, "Hardly."

His lips found mine then. They were hard, cold, and perfect. It was moments like this that I was curious as to what mine would feel like against him. Did they feel so dainty and soft or was there something welcoming to it? His fingers found my hair and I hoped by the way they twisted into it that my fears were untrue.

My nerves gave me a bit of courage and I cautiously ran the tip of my tongue along his lip. I could feel the jolt that went through him at the motion. While his mouth didn't reciprocate, he did suddenly move to lay me on my back. I rested my hand on his shoulder as he kissed me harder, his weight slightly pushing me deeper into the bed.

It was rare and still new, the way he was becoming courageous about our body movement. There had been slow milestones that were being met, but this felt different. He moved his lips with mine until I had to pull away for air. My free hand that was not resting on his chest moved into his hair as his lips moved to the side of my neck up to my ear. Each kiss sent electricity through me and I had to stop my body from acting on its own accord.

I moved the hand that was on his chest to wrap around to his back. The space between us closed and he pressed into me. I encouraged his closeness by pressing my hand into his back as he brought his lips back to mine. I was preparing for him to pull away but I counted my blessings as he stayed passionate in the kiss.

I was so distracted by his continued attention that my leg lifted, trying to wrap my knee around him. He pulled back slightly, using his hand to gently lower my leg. I whispered, "Sorry," before trying my best to get his lips to reconnect to mine. It seemed that my momentary lapse of judgement got him to snap out of his haze. He smiled softly, kissing me lightly before pulling away and rolling back to his side.

He laid his head down on my pillow and smiled over at me as I settled down into the mattress. I felt more relaxed than I had in a while as my heart returned to normal. I took his arm, only with his cooperation, and laid it over me. At the same time, I wiggled my side into him and he chuckled as he let me maneuver him how I wanted.

After a couple moments of silence, I hummed my gratitude, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming,"

"Always,"

I smiled softly, kissing his hand, "I love you."

He didn't return the sentiment right away but I was already drifting off again, comforted by his presence. It was not until several moments later that he whispered in a voice that was thick with emotion, "I love you, too."

My conscious self would have investigated this further, but sleep was wrapping its hands around me, pulling me down into a dreamless, safe sleep.

A/N

Let me know what you think! Stay safe and healthy!