Chapter 8: Cat's Cradle

Playing entry 24/?.

JACK: So what's the name of the planet we're actually heading to?

LEAH: Neyama.

JACK: And that's where the coordinates pointed to, right?

Leah nodded, still chewing on the last of her cornflakes as she briefly patted her pockets down before pulling out the photograph she'd kept with her since their visit to the Pleaneas medical facility. She'd shown it to Jack before anyone else - a picture of a stone-carved ancient monument coated in moss set in a rich and beautiful landscape. Leah's curiously neat writing was still in the corner, detailing the location in digits.

'We've only got half of the coordinates,' the Doctor explained, 'we know the fifty square mile radius it's in but can't narrow it down anymore than that.'

'So what's the plan?' Jack asked.

'Land as centrally to the coordinates as possible and explore,' the Doctor replied. 'As soon as we land we'll split up - Millennia with me, Jack with Leah.'

'And this time can you two keep those vials on you?' Jack asked seriously.

'Already thought of that,' the Doctor said, and pulled out the two vials from his pocket. They were both coated in some sort of see-through film. He held out the half-filled one to Leah, who took it. 'The film is keeping it thermoregulated and protected from impact. I've worked out the dose for your size and requirements - five millilitres. You should have enough for three doses.'

'Okay,' Leah said, nodding.

'How many have you got?' Jack asked.

'Two,' the Doctor said. 'I need fifteen millilitres.'

'Got it,' Jack said.

'Leah, go and get your own needle gun and preset the dosage, and pack your own medical kit too. You'll want gauze, sterile wound dressings in varying sizes, sterile bandages, wipes, suture kit, tape, sterile gloves, tweezers, painkillers, an antibiotic, and saline,' the Doctor ordered.

'Okay!' the little girl said.

'Also we'll need two survival packs. Food and water, blankets, torch, thick jumpers, hats and gloves and spare socks, compass, storm shelter, rope, flare, and a whistle. Who wants that job?'

'I will make those,' Millennia said.

'Jack, can you make sure we've got four working communicators with long life power?' the Doctor asked.

'Sure. What are you doing?'

'Charging my arm,' the Doctor replied, holding it up in indication.

'Is this you actually preparing?' Jack said, smirking a little.

'Why are you laughing?' the Doctor wondered.

Jack's smirk persisted as he wrapped his arm around Leah's shoulders. 'Y'know what, kid? I think Dad's finally reaching your level.'

Leah giggled.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. 'Meet back in the console room in twenty minutes,' he ordered.

Playing entry 25/?.

JACK: Four fully-charged and long lasting communicators as requested.

MILLENNIA: I have made the bags.

'Brilliant,' the Doctor said as he unplugged himself from the console, briefly flexing his power-assisted arm to test its charge. It was ready. 'Where's Leah?' he asked, taking a proffered communicator.

'I will find her,' Millennia said, leaving into the corridor to search for the six-year-old.

'So it's me and Leah, and you and Millennia, right?' Jack asked the Time Lord.

'Yes,' the Doctor confirmed.

'What exactly are we looking for?'

'The shrine. As soon as someone finds it, signal to the others and we'll explore it together.'

'Using the flare?' Jack checked.

'No. Only use the flare in an emergency.'

Jack had been teasing earlier, but the usually impulsive Time Lord's sudden urge to extensively prepare was now slightly unnerving Jack - the Doctor seemed genuinely worried.

'Exactly how bad d'you think this'll be?' Jack wondered.

'Bad enough that I think we're going to need everything we're packing,' the Doctor replied honestly. 'Please look after Leah.'

'You know I will,' Jack said.

'And if this doesn't work …'

'It'll work.'

'Just … listen,' the Doctor insisted, holding up his hand to silence him. 'If this doesn't work, when you get back to normal space, get everyone we know into the Tardis and go somewhere the Lanwa will never find you. Wait five months and Rose's body will die; the disease with it.'

'Doc …'

'Jack,' the Doctor interrupted again. 'If I don't make it - if we can't save Rose - don't bother with my body, because I'm not going to regenerate. Leave me and run away as fast as you can. I've put everything in place for Leah to inherit the Tardis, so she and Theo will be okay.'

'Doctor. We'll make it. All of us,' Jack said firmly.

'Just … acknowledge what I said. I'm telling you what to do if I die.'

For a moment there was silence before Jack stepped forward and wordlessly hugged him.

'Please, Jack,' the Doctor begged over his shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Jack finally drew back to gaze into his eyes. 'I'll do it,' he confirmed. 'But I won't need to. We're gonna win. We're gonna save Rose, kill this disease, and go back to saving the Universe on a regular basis. Just you watch us.'

The Doctor nodded. When they pulled back, the Doctor suddenly frowned, and looked around the console room with urgency. 'What?'

Slightly alarmed, Jack looked too, but couldn't see anything. 'What?'

The Doctor's frown deepened as he closed his eyes, clearly hearing something Jack couldn't. '... I can hear another person breathing.'

'But that's …' Jack suddenly jumped. 'Whoa!'

'What is it?' the Doctor asked.

'Something just touched my shoulder,' Jack said quickly, looking behind him to see absolutely nothing there.

'My turn,' the Doctor said, feeling something creeping onto his shoulder like a cold hand with extremely long and spindly fingers. It remained for a moment , but instead of moving on, it lingered.

'Right, don't panic, but it's not letting go,' the Doctor said, remaining perfectly still.

Jack moved to help, but the Doctor quickly threw out his hand. 'Stay back,' he said, as the pressure continued to rest on his shoulders.

'What do I do?' Jack asked, anxious.

'Just … stay calm,' the Doctor instructed, and he felt the pressure on his shoulders suddenly tighten, like the fingers and thumbs were gripping a little more. 'Who are you?'

The hands moved, going up. They traced slowly up his shoulders to his neck, where he could now feel them resting around his throat.

'Okay, that's enough. Let go,' he demanded.

'Doc?' Jack asked, tense.

'It's gripping my neck … It's … hurgh …'

The hands suddenly tightened and the Doctor couldn't breathe. He quickly switched to his respiratory bypass so he could talk with what little oxygen he had due to the surprise. 'It's s-strangling me …'

Jack moved to the Doctor, trying to grab whatever was behind him, but there was nothing but air. The Doctor struggled, but whatever it was had an intense grip that was now so tight and so precisely placed he couldn't even speak.

Whatever it was, it knew gallifreyan anatomy inside out.

Jack launched himself to the monitor. 'I need help in the console room, now!' he shouted over the TARDIS address system.

The Doctor was struggling now, his eyes bulging slightly as he felt his legs beginning to tremble and weaken beneath him. He was trying desperately to peel the phantom hands off of his neck, but he couldn't feel anything on it every time he tried …

Just as he was about to pass out, suddenly the grip was gone. The Doctor's legs gave way as he fell to all fours, gasping for air.

Jack moved to him immediately. 'Doc?'

'It's gone,' the Time Lord gasped, holding his neck. 'It's gone ...'

'Unreality pocket?' Jack tried, in what was rapidly becoming a standard reply to pretty much any development.

'I …' was all the Doctor managed to get out before something on the console suddenly moved. They both looked up, startled, catching the abrupt and precise click of one of the controls on the Tardis seemingly moving of its own accord.

'Did you see that?' Jack gasped.

'Yeah …'

Something else moved - the handbrake. Then, suddenly, the TARDIS was in flight.

The Doctor struggled to his feet, grabbing onto the console for support, 'what?'

'Who's flying?' Jack asked as Millennia and Leah bundled into the console room.

'What are you … oh!' Millennia said, quickly realising the situation as Leah ran to her father, clinging onto him.

'Daddy, what …' she was interrupted as they were all sharply thrown sideward, the Time Lord just about managing to protect his little girl from slamming headfirst into the metal grating.

'Something's flying the Tardis,' he gasped, getting to his feet before the TARDIS lurched again and once more they were all on the floor. 'Stop!'

'Daddy, what is it!' Leah shrieked.

'I don't know!' he cried, finally managing to get to the console and trying to reverse the flight. It was half a second before he felt a grip on his shoulders and he was suddenly and violently thrown back away from the console, hitting one of the TARDIS struts and sinking to the floor in a daze.

'Doc! Doc!' he heard Jack shout, but his head was swimming. He looked up, his vision blurred and trailing as if on some kind of delay.

'Jack,' he tried, but he couldn't seem to get the word out. He couldn't move - completely paralysed - as he watched the invisible pilot continue to operate his time ship, pulling levers and pressing buttons which he knew from experience was going to make this an extremely rough ride.

Then, the cloister bell began to knell - they were going to crash, but he couldn't help. The pain in the back of his head was rapidly becoming worse, seemingly out of proportion with the impact. He could feel his eyelids sinking over his eyes as though they were being pulled down by tiny hanging weights. He tried to keep them open, but they were too heavy …

He passed out.

The Doctor woke up with a strangled yelp, gasping for air as the back of his head blasted through with pain. After managing to curb the worst of the headache he opened his eyes to find himself lying on a pebbly beach at the bottom of a small but slightly intimidating cliff.

He blinked, suddenly very, very confused. His eyes darted around as he took a deep sniff of salty sea air, mixed with too much carbon and the undertones of what he assumed to be vinegar from a nearby seaside cafe or food van. He could hear the sound of waves lapping and traffic moving around somewhere above him.

Planet Earth, he realised. Logical deductions would put it somewhere between 1990-2030. How was he on Earth?

The back of his head continued to obnoxiously throb. He tried to get up, but he didn't seem to be able to move. Instead, he turned his head and saw across the stretch of a stony coastline to where a group of seagulls were hopping around, trying to avoid Jack Harkness who was running towards him holding a gun.

'Doctor!' Jack cried, just as the Doctor heard someone move behind him. Before he could do anything, he felt hands clamping painfully around his neck with just the right amount of pressure to make things uncomfortable. He winced, trying to look at his assailant but not being able to twist his head enough.

'Stop or I'll break his neck!' the person holding him screamed furiously at Jack. He didn't recognise the voice.

Jack was within ten paces of them now, still pointing his gun aloft. 'You'll get nothing by killing him, Ensign! Put him down!'

'No!'

'We can help you!'

'I told you, I want a ship and enough money to get me out of this sector, or I'll kill him!'

'Put him down and we'll talk!' Jack replied firmly.

'He's tellin' the truth!' a woman shouted from his left. That was … it couldn't be. Could it?

The Doctor struggled a little, eventually managing to twist around. Holding him was a large, well-built purple alien - possibly a sudakrian? - with its hands around his neck, and beyond him the Doctor could see a heavily-pregnant blonde woman hovering ten metres away, looking anxious.

Rose!?

'I'm not going back, I'm not going back!' the alien shouted.

'We're not interested in takin' you back to anyone,' Rose said honestly. 'We're pacifists too. Jack, put your bloody gun down.'

Jack obliged, placing his gun on the rocks at his feet. 'I'm putting my gun down, see? Let him go and we'll talk.'

The sudakrian hesitated.

'It's alright,' Rose insisted, moving slowly and deliberately to them.

'Stop, stop right there!' the sudakrian yelped. The Doctor could feel it shaking, the hands around his neck trembling a little. Rose stopped.

'We wanna help you, yeah?' Rose told it. 'But this is the part where you decide who you're gonna be. Why don't you wanna fight in the war?'

The sudakrian swallowed. 'I … I don't have to answer you!' it snapped angrily. 'I told you my demands; I want a ship and …'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' Rose said dismissively. 'Just look at yourself. You don't wanna fight in a war but you're happy to kill a stranger for it? Calm down and let him go, and we'll help you. I promise, yeah?'

There was a lingering pause, before finally the sudakrian conceded and let the Doctor go, bursting into tears. 'Don't make me go back, please …'

'Come here; we'll talk,' Jack offered.

The Doctor swore he only blinked, but all of a sudden he was in the back of the SUV with Rose next to him. He must have briefly passed out.

'Can't even go on a date with you,' she bemoaned with a grin, but she frowned at his dumbfounded expression. 'You're okay,' she said softly, moving to cradle his head before she frowned and pulled her fingers away with blood on the tips. 'Oh god, you're bleedin'.'

As she reached for the First Aid kit to get some gauze, he could do nothing but sit there trying hopelessly to work out what on Gallifrey was going on. He was on Earth. Rose was here. She was pregnant. She was uninfected. How? Was he dreaming? Was he hallucinating?

He looked at Rose, who smiled back reassuringly and held the gauze to the back of his head. He analysed her appearance. If Rose was this pregnant, that meant this was nearly two years ago, just a few weeks before everything had gone wrong.

He checked his arm - it was all flesh and bone, unclad by the exotronic. He briefly wiggled his fingers. They were working. He wasn't paralysed anymore.

He then caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. The scar on his left eye was gone - he even ran the tips of his fingers down his face to check for any hidden marks, but there was nothing he could feel. He looked exactly as he had nearly two years ago.

Rose was watching him curiously. 'Talk to me,' she said.

The Doctor couldn't have, even if he could think of any words to say. He ended up just staring at her, utterly bewildered.

'God, you really hit your head didn't you?' she muttered, brushing back his hair from his eyes. 'It's okay, just relax, yeah?'

She kissed him. Something within him that had been dormant for so long - the bond - warmed a little. He'd almost forgotten the feeling.

'Doc,' Jack said, suddenly popping his head in the open door. 'You all right?'

'He's bleedin',' Rose told him.

'Not surprised, they probably heard that crack in Swansea,' Jack joked. 'We gotta get him back to -'

Without a beat he was in the TARDIS infirmary lying on a bed being assessed by Martha, with Jack and Rose watching on. The latter had her hand in his, squeezing slightly.

Martha's face was swimming in front of him, making him feel a little bit sick. 'Do you remember what happened just before you woke up on the beach?' she asked.

'No,' he answered slowly, deeply confused.

'Do you remember anything from today? What did you have for breakfast?'

He tried to cast his mind back to something that had happened prior to him waking up on the beach that made any sense at all. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just Tuvala. And that didn't make any sense. 'I don't know …' he realised.

'That's okay,' Martha told him as Rose squeezed his hand a little more. It was a very strange feeling to have her holding his hand again. He'd forgotten how it felt. Like a security blanket. Like their hands were two pieces of a jigsaw fitting together perfectly.

Had it always been like that, or was he just idealising it somehow?

'Doctor, did you hear me?'

The Doctor abruptly refocused on Martha, flexing his hand in Rose's grip. 'Pardon?'

'I asked you if you know where you are.'

He frowned. No, she hadn't asked him. He was positive she hadn't. Still, he looked around the room. Despite the blurriness, he knew. 'Tardis infirmary.'

'Good,' she said. 'How did you get to the infirmary?'

The Doctor internally sighed at what, on the face of it, appeared to be a very simple question. He opened his mouth to reply something facetiously, but then frowned as he realised that he couldn't seem to actually remember how he'd got here. That had just happened. Why couldn't he remember it? 'I don't know,' he ended up saying. 'I must've passed out.'

'You didn't, Doctor,' Martha told him gently. 'You were awake.'

His frown deepened. 'But … I don't know how I got here.'

'That's okay,' she assured him.

'Oh god,' Rose moaned from next to him. He looked at her. Her face … nothing at all like he'd become used to seeing. She was no longer that terminally ill, physically-ravaged woman - she was beautiful, radiant, and glowing …

'Doctor, can you do that for me, please?' Martha asked.

The Doctor looked back at her again, surprised. She hadn't spoken, had she? Something really wasn't right here. 'Do what?'

'I asked you to tell me the three words I wanted you to remember earlier.'

He frowned. 'Did you?'

'Yes. Can you?'

'You didn't say three words.'

'I did. Do you remember them at all?'

He looked at Rose, who was nodding encouragingly, before his eyes drifted to Jack standing behind her. The Time Lord squinted a little at him, trying to communicate somehow - maybe he'd know something about what was happening?

He received no response from Jack at all. Either he was hiding it very well, or he wasn't sharing the Doctor's experience.

'Doctor,' Martha prompted.

He looked back at her again. 'Err, I don't remember three words.'

'Okay, don't worry,' Martha said, smiling at him in an oddly patronising way. He looked across the room as he heard someone enter - it was Braxiatel.

The Doctor immediately recalled what Braxiatel was about to do to him in a few weeks, and shivered.

'Is that okay?' Martha asked.

The Doctor looked back at Martha, distracted by his thoughts again. 'No.'

'No?'

'He'll do it again,' he croaked before he could stop himself.

'Who will do what again?'

No, he told himself. Don't say anything.

'Doctor. Look at me,' Martha ordered. 'Who will do what again?'

How could he reply to that? How could he explain that, somehow, he appeared to have jumped back two years of his life and Braxiatel was weeks away from joining with the Master and betraying him?

He said nothing.

'God, what the hell is going on?' Rose moaned. 'I've never seen him like this before.'

'Don't worry, this is common,' Martha assured her. She got up and walked to Braxiatel to converse in low tones. The Doctor heard the conversation. 'He's definitely unfocused and confused. He's got both retrograde and anterograde amnesia,' he heard her say. 'It's quite a bad concussion.'

'I see,' Brax said, nodding as he examined the scan. 'Ah. I can see what has happened.'

Suddenly Brax was standing Infront of him. Instantly, the Doctor tensed.

'Did you understand what I just said, Theta?' Brax asked.

'Understand what?' the Doctor asked, defensive.

Brax took a breath. 'You are hurt. You are experiencing black outs because you are struggling to make new memories so things may be a little jumpy. We will look after you. You are safe. Do you understand?'

Despite seething at his brother's pretence that he cared, he couldn't say anything about it. Eventually, the Doctor nodded.

'Get him to go to sleep,' Brax ordered Rose. 'This might take a few days.'

'What d'you mean?'

The Doctor suddenly found himself standing just outside the Hub on Cardiff's seafront, wearing only a pair of jogging bottoms, a loose white T-shirt, and no shoes. It was raining quite heavily - he was soaked, and Jackie was standing next to him in a pink pac-a-mac looking confused.

'What did I say?' he asked.

'I asked what you were doin' out here and you said to check if the rain was wet,' she said patiently.

He frowned briefly. 'I … oh,' he realised as he swallowed, his eyes scanning the foggy horizon. 'I must've realised.'

'Realised what?'

He swallowed again, his mouth as dry as a desert. 'In every memory I have … the rain never felt wet.'

'Um, what?'

'If this was made up, then the rain wouldn't feel wet. But it does. That means it's real. This rain is real.'

She was beginning to look very concerned now. 'Sweetheart …'

'Jackie, I don't know how I got here,' he croaked.

'Doctor, you probably walked out of the Hub yourself. Come inside, you're drenched.'

'That's not what I …' he started, but finally had the presence of mind to stop himself before he said too much. 'Sorry, I'm not making much sense.'

She was clearly relieved at that. 'Good, cos for a minute there I thought you didn't know that. Now come with me,' she said, taking his hand. 'Rose'll be havin' Theo a month early if you carry on like this.'

He obliged, following her lead through the tourist information office into the Hub, where almost immediately Rose met them.

'God, you're soaked, what the hell were you doin' wanderin' off? Tell me next time!' she demanded.

'Sorry,' he said honestly as Gwen draped a blanket around his shoulders. He looked around at them all - the regular employees of Torchwood with Rose and Jackie too, all collectively staring at him as though he were about to detonate at any moment.

Home, he realised. This was home. And he'd missed it.

His eyes were suddenly closed, but his brain was far too active, buzzing with a million mad thoughts. Instead, he just laid there, immobile, listening to the others as they presumed he was asleep and began to discuss him.

'What do we do?' Rose asked. 'If he's started wanderin' around maybe we should lock the doors …'

'Rose, you can't do that.'

'But what if he wanders off and …'

'Rose, listen to me,' Jack said, interrupting. 'He's compos mentis. He's not a danger to himself or to us and you can't ethically lock him up just because you're a bit worried. Besides, things like standing in the rain to check if it's wet is exactly the kind of weird thing he'd normally do, it's just right now he can't explain why. Not that he ever did anyway.'

She sighed. 'Sorry, Jack, it's just … this has never happened before.'

'I know,' Jack replied. 'How about Leah stays with Jackie for a few more days?'

An alarm rang in the Doctor's head at that. Tony. If Leah was staying with Jackie, she was staying with Tony ...

'She's in her room.'

Abruptly the lights went dark and everyone had gone besides Rose, sitting there next to his bed in the infirmary, holding his hand in both of hers.

'Wait, you mean Leah?' he asked.

She nodded slowly. 'You asked where she was. She's in her room. Now go to sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up.'

'Rose?'

'Yeah?'

'I missed you,' he told her before he could stop himself.

'I never went anywhere and I'm not gonna, yeah?' Rose whispered. 'Good night.'