Hi! Welcome back to my fic To Be Forever Faithful! I've recently received a question as to why Belegwen and Haldir have to keep their romance a secret and I would like to take the opportunity to clarify, as I must not have made it clear in my story (and for that I apologize!). There are quite an assortment of reasons as to why they cannot be seen in the open together. According to the rules of the wardens set in my fic, the members are prohibited from having relationships outside of friendship with other wardens. This is in place to keep the peace and protect Belegwen, the one female warden who is surrounded by ellyn.

Plus, I have set higher standards for the Eldarin society. In my fic, though a few wardens claim to have slept with humans, they only sleep with one elleth who is to be their lifemate. Haldir and Belegwen are breaking many rules by doing what they are doing. On top of all of this, both of them have their own personal faults that seem to hinder them from admitting to the other that there are real feelings at stake here.

I hope that cleared some issues up! Let me know if it did not…and now, onto the fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

To Be Forever Faithful

By: Ponytail Goddess

Chapter 28: A Crime Forgotten

Feeling a sudden and slow movement, Haldir quickly awoke from his reverie. He registered that it was still night outside, the moon high in the sky outside of the open terrace of the room that he and Belegwen were lying in, illuminating her pale skin as she twisted away from him to face the outside. Seeing this, Haldir frowned and scooted towards her, his nose nuzzling her ear through her silvery tresses as he embraced her once more.

"Belegwen," he whispered in her ear, "Why are you not asleep? You need your rest to heal."

She was silent and still for a few moments before finally turning her head back with a small wince to look at him. "I have too many things on my mind for sleep." She whispered softly, still rasping a bit, though not as badly as before.

He watched her as she settled her head back on the pillow with a sigh. "Will you tell me about it?" He asked her lazily, running his left hand down the side of her smooth body languidly.

"Haldir, earlier today during my fight with Erthalion…someone said something inside of my head, but it was not Galadriel." She whispered, sounding rather distressed. "It was a male voice."

Haldir cocked his eyebrow at this. "Belegwen, there are no ellyn in Lothlorien who have that gift." He said, settling his hand on her thigh.

"I know," she whispered back, sounding uneasy, "but it is what I heard. I am certain of this."

"What did the voice say?" Haldir asked quietly.

"The voice told me to trip Erthalion. I could no longer think clearly at that point, so I just did as I was told." She whispered almost inaudibly, visibly haunted by the thought. She paused for a moment, before adding, "Haldir, I trusted that warden... and..."

In response to feeling her shiver, Haldir lifted himself up onto an elbow to look at her face. She was blinking repeatedly, trying to keep the glistening water in her eyes from falling. Haldir had never seen her cry before and was at a loss of what to do. He thought back to the time when she had confronted him at Orophin's grave. There, he had grasped her tightly for comfort. With this in mind, Haldir gently flipped her over so that she was facing him again, though she refused to meet his eyes. He pulled her close and attempted to rub her back, but was surprised when she pulled away.

"I do not need comfort." She stated coldly, sitting up quickly and once again facing away from him. "Nothing is wrong with me. I should go practice before I teach my class tomorrow."

Haldir watched as her naked form left the bed. Normally, seeing her bathed in moonlight like this would have brought him great pleasure, but he could tell that she was terribly upset and that bothered him. "It is the middle of the night," he protested calmly, "You need your rest Belegwen. Come back to bed."

However, it was as if she had not heard him, for she started to get dressed, quickly pulling a pair of clean breaches from her closet after putting on a clean undershirt. In a matter of moments she was dressed and sloppily braiding the top of her hair, wearing it as she always had in the past.

"Belegwen," he pleaded, not wanting her to leave, especially not when she was angry with him or scared or whatever it was that she had previously been feeling. Haldir did not know and she would not tell him! He watched helplessly as she flew out the door of her talan as swiftly as she could manage.

Distressed at her rapid change of emotions, Haldir sighed and laid back down on her bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. It looked like it was going to be a long, lonely night.

ooOoo

A shadow tore through the night at a speed unmatched by most. Crying, Belegwen found herself fleeing past the practice field and quickly approaching the edge of the city. All reason had left her mind and the sharp branches of shrubs and trees tore at her exposed hands and face as she carelessly ran off the path.

Belegwen had no specific destination in mind, but was not surprised when she found herself slowing down at the edge of the city. Finally coming to a stop, she bent down to catch her breath, then quickly stood up, remembering it was easier to catch one's breath in an upright position. When she finally looked up and registered where she was though, she immediately fell to her knees, a new wave of pain hitting her head-on.

It was her family's old talan. She had not come here in years, but her feet had led her here against her will tonight. Belegwen shuddered as her eyes slowly looked up, following the weathered mallorn trunk up into the foliage and dreading what she would see next.

It was still there. The little wooden talan with a veranda that wrapped all the way around it still stood prominently in the silver mallorn tree where it had always been. The windows were all dark, nestled in their wooden frames, which were slightly warped from wear and lack of care over the years. No one had wanted to live in this talan, not after the gruesome deaths that had occurred there.

Nobody had ever thought that orcs could make it all the way into the city, but when a huge attack occurred at the borders, a few had gotten away and Belegwen's talan was the first one that they had come to, since it was on the edge of the city.

…and the rest was history.

Overwhelmed, Belegwen succumbed to all of the pain she had been holding inside of herself and broke down for a second time that night. Slowly, she crawled on her knees towards the great mallorn that held her old home and put her arms around it, her left cheek resting against the warm bark.

"Oh ada," she whispered softly, "Why is life so hard?"

ooOoo

In the early morning, Haldir found himself wandering through Galadriel's garden, deep thoughts running through his head. Though it was close to morning, the sky was still black and the stars were still glistening from the heavens.

Haldir frowned as he thought of Belegwen once again. After waiting in her bed for a while, he had dressed and walked out to the practice field with the hopes of finding her there, but he had no such luck. In fact, Haldir had walked all of the main pathways in Lothlorien and had not found any trace of her. He was beginning to think she had run off into the forest again, though it was really an unsafe practice for her to do in the middle of the night, especially when no one knew where she was headed.

"Oh dear Vala," he thought to himself as he realized that he really did love her. He could not stop thinking about her. All he desired was that she was back in her talan, safe and with him. However, Haldir was uncertain if he could voice his desire to be with her, as she was a full-blown marchwarden, second only to him. She would not even allow herself to cry in front of him, let alone be coddled. Not that he really wanted to coddle her anyway—it would kill her spirit of independence, strength, and determination. No, he would not see her melt away into the cocoon she had once been trapped in. He loved her just the way she was.

And there was that pesky 'L-word' again.

Love. It still made Haldir uneasy to think about it. He could hardly believe that after all of these long years, he really had found an elleth that he really cared about. Well, assuming that she felt the same way, of course. Right now, he was not so sure. Less than a week ago, she had all but begged for him to hold her and comfort her during the night, but tonight when she had seemingly needed him the most, she had pushed him away and refused his offer of comfort. He did not understand her change of heart and it hurt him that she would not cry in front of him, as he had lowered his guard enough to do it in front of her—more than once too, if he remembered correctly.

Frustrated, Haldir sighed and sat himself down on a small white bench whose marble legs were intricately carved into flowering vines, curving around each other in an almost natural way. He looked at all of the beauty around him before putting his face down into his cupped hands.

What if she did not love him back?

As sadness overtook his normally strict demeanor, he raised his head up and found himself looking at the night-opening bluebells that were growing on the other side of the stone path. Haldir smiled sadly as he found himself approaching them, getting onto his knees to see them better.

"Beautiful at night, but hidden from the world during the day; just like us." He whispered to himself, staring at the small blue flowers. Without a second thought, Haldir plucked a couple of small blossoms off the plant and held them in his hand as he continued down the path which led to the garden's exit. His mind went blank as he walked. He found himself watching the first light of day appear, a light blue tint entering the sky, making way for the sun that would soon follow.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, he found himself in front of her talan door. Having been daydreaming while walking, he had not been paying attention to where he was going. After quickly checking to make sure no one was around, Haldir slipped through her door silently, hoping that perhaps she had returned while he was away.

No such luck. The room looked exactly as he left it; there were no signs that she had returned during the night. Silently, he approached the bed, mentally picturing her laying there as she had at the beginning of the night, her body sprawled out wildly after their pleasure seeking. Smiling at the thought, he suddenly remembered the flowers. He lifted his hand up and opened his fist to view them again. Though one was a bit smashed, the other was still quite lovely.

Gently, he laid them down on her pillow. Whether she would appreciate them or not, Haldir did not know. He needed to make things right between them, no matter what. The misconceptions needed to be cleared up so that they could flourish together.

ooOoo

Rumil sighed as he sat sullenly in the darkened healer's talan. Black thoughts brewed in his mind as he guarded the elf who laid unmoving on the bed. Slowly, the softest glow was starting to come into view from the window that was across the room from him, the sun's first rays turning the dark blue sky back into its paler form.

After going into a slight daze for a couple of minutes, he shook his head violently, mentally chastising himself for falling asleep on the job. It was a very important job too, guarding Erthalion, for the healers certainly could not defend themselves very well against any vicious attacks, should he woke up in a fit of rage. However, everything had been quite peaceful for the past 12 hours, as he had yet to wake up. He was still out cold from the wallop that Marchwarden Belegwen had dealt him!

Hearing nearly silent footsteps approaching the room from the hallway, Rumil rotated his whole body around to face the room's dark entranceway as the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Eltirwen. She was still in her nightgown, though she had wrapped herself up in a navy blue satin robe which had delicate white flowers embroidered on the edges.

"Good morning, Eltirwen." Rumil said, tilting his head down in a slight greeting as the elleth looked at him, returning his smile with a charming one of her own.

"Good morning to you as well, Rumil." She said, cautiously approaching Erthalion's bedside. "Have their been any changes in the past few hours?" She asked softly as she gently touched the bandage that covered Erthalion's severed ear, lifting it to see how the healing process was coming along.

Rumil let out a small snort of amusement. "No, this job has been about as interesting as watching paint dry." He said while stretching his arms, then relaxing them behind his head as he watched Eltirwen check Erthalion's other wounds. He was just leaning back to get in a more relaxing position when Eltirwen suddenly gasped and backed away from the bed.

Upon seeing this, Rumil immediately jumped up and in a second was at the edge of the bed, signaling the other warden into the room from his station outside of the door with a small whistle. Immediately, the other warden bounded in.

Heledhril. Since he was such a good mediator and had even at one time considered himself a close friend with Erthalion, it had only made sense that he helped in the guarding process. Perhaps he would be able to say the right words to calm the ellon down.

"Eltirwen!" Rumil cried, "Quick! Send for Haldir!" He exclaimed, watching as she immediately exited the room.

Each warden took one side of the bed and stared down at Erthalion intensely. His breathing was no longer even, which was a sign that he was rousing. The two watched as the elf slowly started to move, his head rolling towards Rumil, shutting and scrunching up his open eyes as the pain of his injuries started to register to him. Then, his unhurried eyes cracked open again, though they looked rather unfocused, as if he was still in a haze.

He muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, then with shaky arms, tried to rise. However, both Rumil and Heledhril grabbed one of his shoulders and thrust him back down onto the bed mercilessly, causing him to moan in pain.

"Do not try to move. You are being detained." Rumil commanded, staring into Erthalion's hazy and comfused eyes with intense distaste.

"What?" Erthalion mumbled, finally managing to focus his eyes on Rumil. Again he tried to rise, only to be brutally pushed back down on the bed by the wardens with sullen looks on their faces.

"I said not to move!" Rumil repeated even more harshly than before, anger rising within him as he thought of the rainbow that adorned Marchwarden Belegwen's neck because of the mad fool that was lying beneath his grasp. "It would be wise for you to heed my warning Erthalion." He said in a dangerously low voice, spitting out his name at the end of his sentence with disgust.

"But, what has...happened?" He whispered, pausing in mid-sentence as he turned his face away from Rumil and towards Heledhril. "Heledhril?"

Rumil looked at Heledhril, only to see that the young warden's face looked slightly perplexed at the question he had been asked. "You have committed a terrible crime Erthalion. You know of what I speak." He stated solemnly, though his eyebrows were drawn in confusion.

"No, I do not." He repeated, his breaths becoming shallow as he started to fully comprehend what was going on around him. "What is this crime you speak of?" His face now contorted into a look of panic as he whispered, "What have I done?"

Undiluted fury rose up in Rumil at this question and he lost control of himself. "You are sick! Deny it all you want, warden, but you will get what you deserve! In fact, I daresay that this will be the last time anyone calls you warden, for when my brother gets here, you will be stripped of your position and much more!"

Erthalion's only reaction to this was to stare at Rumil in shock. This irritated Rumil even more. Rage overtaking him again, Rumil slapped his right hand against the bedside table, causing all of the contents to rattle and clang as they jumped up with moment, a few even clattering to the floor. "Stop playing this game!" He said, enraged and with a loud voice. "You think I am angry? If you continue this game for the marchwarden, I would guess that you are a fool indeed."

Rumil held up his hand to smack the table again in frustration, only to stop as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Rumil, my friend," Heledhril started, his eyes full of concern and his voice soft and soothing, "Please calm down. We must stay focused on our task." He paused, looking as though he was choosing his words carefully, "I am uncertain, but I think he might be telling the truth."

Those soft words burned Rumil's ears. Telling the truth?! He glared at Heledhril and started to retort, only to stop in his tracks as Marchwarden Haldir appeared in the doorway.

ooOoo

As Haldir looked at the traitor from the doorway, he maintained his cool exterior, despite the fact that he was burning inside with a passionate rage. He wanted to strangle the elf and give him a little taste of the pain he had inflicted upon Belegwen. Deep down, Haldir knew that revenge was a very dark path though, and so he fought against his desires, remaining honorable and true to the best of his ability.

"Erthalion." He stated calmly as he entered the room wearing his sternest, most intimidating face. He approached slowly, head held high with the arrogance that he was well-known for.

This did not have its desired effect on Erthalion though. In the early morning light, he looked more confused than anything else, though there was a bit of fear in his eyes too. "Wait, are you…" He asked, looking rather uncertain, "I think there has been a misunderstanding."

No longer able to keep up his act of patience, Haldir grabbed a chunk of Erthalion's dark hair and yanked his head up off of the table, causing him to yelp in pain. "Misunderstanding?" Haldir hissed into his ear. "I do not believe you!"

"You are hurting me! Please desist!" He cried out. "There has been a mistake! I do not know what I have done!"

Haldir looked at Erthalion. His eyes were squished in pain as he held his head up by his hair. The covered cut across his head had started to bleed, staining the white bandage going across his forehead. No longer calm, Haldir knew he needed to restrain himself. He let go of his hair and let his head fall back onto the bed, which made Erthalion groan with pain.

"You do not know what you have done? You have broken the first rule of all Elvendom! You have purposely hurt another elf, you fool! Now, admit your crimes, liar! You do not want to try my patience any longer." Haldir stated sternly, staring at the elf and waiting for answers.

Erthalion, now breathing deep, uneven breaths in pain, looked up in total dread of what was going on around him. He froze for a moment, but then, in a low and shaky voice replied, "Sirs, whatever I am guilty of, please just charge me with it. I have no doubt that I have done something wrong because of the way you are treating me. You must understand though, I do not know what I did! I do not remember."

Again, Haldir found himself totally incensed at the audacity of this elf to deny his claim. He was about to lose his cool again, when he felt two lithe hands grab onto his arm. He looked over his shoulder to see a scared Eltirwen, still clad in her nightwear, clutching his arm.

"Haldir, please stop! There is a possibility that he is telling the truth."

ooOoo

Quietly, as the sun rose, a desolate figure ascended the staircase that led through the warden's halls. Step after step, Belegwen silently walked up the marble stairs at a slow pace, holding the railing stiffly, as she could barely stand.

Indeed, she had gotten no sleep last night, as well as no remorse and no comfort. She had cried out all of her pain, but still she had felt a great hurt within herself that was unquenchable by any of her own comforting methods. After she wept, she had marched down to the training field and in her disheveled state, had worked out all of her energy and anger until she was too tired to feel anything.

"and now," she thought to herself as she grabbed a few stray strands of hair and pulled them away from her face so that she could see, "it is time for me to sleep."

Finally reaching her door, she pushed her way in and immediately started to strip down. Once naked, she covered her body with a clean, white satin robe and was about to head down the stairs again to the bathing pool, when something strange and out of place caught her eye.

Flowers?

Belegwen wearily walked over to her messy bed. On top of her pillow were two small blue flowers. Gently, she took the two blossoms in her hand and inspected them curiously. Though one was a bit squished, it was still quite lovely.

Did Haldir do this?

Belegwen could hardly believe it, if so. It was not unusual for an elleth who was courting an ellon to receive a bouquet of flowers, but Haldir was surely not courting her, was he?

But if they were not from him, then where did they come from?

A small smile graced her lips as she thought it over. If they really were from Haldir, what did it mean? Had he really not wanted her to leave last night? Was there really something lingering between them?

Suddenly, Belegwen gasped and jumped as someone knocked on her door. "Come in," She called, turning towards the door, smiling, assuming that Haldir was on the other side. However, her smile turned into a look of confusion as a worried-looking Rumil entered into her room cautiously. She stood there stunned for a moment, just staring at him.

"Marchwarden," he said, starting to report immediately after quickly looking her over, "an issue has come up that needs your attention."

"What has happened Rumil?" Belegwen asked, forgetting about the flowers that were still cradled in her hand after hearing Rumil's worried voice.

"Erthalion has finally awoken. He does not remember attacking you, Marchwarden." He said softly, with a sad look in his eyes.

Belegwen's mouth opened in shock, her jaw quivering a bit as her eyes widened, a multitude of emotions passing over her face as the many implications of the situation crossed her mind. Everything went silent around her as she went into shock.

The flowers fell from her hand and onto the ground, utterly forgotten.

ooOoo

Edited by P.G. on 05/26/20.

What do you think? I think this fic is starting to look more and more like a soap opera with every passing chapter…lol. Despite that fact, I hope you are enjoying it! Thanks for reading!

-P.G.