Hi guys, welcome back! I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed my previous chapter! Thanks for bearing with me and having such a long wait in between chapters! I've been very busy with school; I just finished my sophomore year of college, so I should have a little more time for updates until I start my camp counselor job. Kudos for everyone who is sticking with the story despite the long waits in between chapters! I hope you enjoy this new addition to my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

To Be Forever Faithful

By: Ponytail Goddess

Chapter 29: Judgments

Two smashed flowers were unknowingly kicked out the doorway of Belegwen's talan as she raced out, once again dressed in her training clothes. Rumil had been waiting for her and now the two of them raced down the stairway and into the morning air. The sun was peeking through a light mist, awakening a glorious morning, but both of them were too occupied by their running to notice it.

Through the city they weaved, dodging early risers who were walking along the paths of Caras Galadhon as they ran towards the healer's talans. "It is the one to the left of Eltirwen's!" Rumil called to her as their destination came into view.

Belegwen ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. Rumil quickly followed, doing the same. Once she was on the veranda, Belegwen ungracefully barged in, opening the door so fast that it slammed against the opposite wall, scaring the two healers who were sitting out in the common area. Both of them jumped and one nearly spilled her cup of tea, but quickly steadied it with her other hand before the contents could fall to the floor.

The elleth who was not holding a cup of tea quickly pointed down the hallway to direct Belegwen to the room, her eyes still rather wide with surprise. Belegwen quickly walked over to the door, then stopped before going in, a look of doubt passing over her face. However, she was not given a moment to compose herself, as Rumil smacked carelessly into her back and pushed her into the room.

Belegwen's eyes went wide as everyone stared at her and Rumil as they stumbled into the room. There were a lot more elves here than she had expected: Haldir, Heledhril, Eltirwen, Celeborn, and a few other wardens of high rank stood around the bed, most looking rather irritated. The only elf that did not look Belegwen's way was the Lady Galadriel herself. Her head was tilted downward to face a bedridden Erthalion, one of her lithe hands upon his forehead. Her eyes were closed with concentration.

A few whispers wafted through the room as Belegwen took a few more steps in, trying her best to hide her fear by keeping a straight face. Immediately, Lord Celeborn approached her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, blocking her view of Erthalion. "May I have a word with you in the hallway?" He whispered, trying not to distract his wife's concentration.

Belegwen nodded and was quickly guided into the hallway. When she turned around to face Celeborn, she was not surprised to find that his face was no longer calm, but worried. They stood there for a moment in silence as Celeborn inspected her neck.

She knew what was coming next.

"I see you have been gravely injured again Belegwen." Celeborn stated, gently grasping her shoulders as his sad face looked down at her. He paused for a moment before continuing. "It does not have to be this way." He whispered. "Please give it up. I do not want to see you suffer any more."

Silently, Belegwen hung her head down and stared at the wooden floorboards below her. Though Lord Celeborn had a very special place in her heart, Belegwen disliked having this sort of talk with him. Almost every time that she was gravely injured, she knew this talk would not be far behind.

A talk about her no longer being a warden.

No, Lord Celeborn was not a sexist in any way; he simply cared about her too much and did not want her to get hurt. Though few people remembered, it was Lord Celeborn who had taken care of Belegwen after her family had been massacred. In fact, Belegwen knew that she had filled a certain void in his heart that had been created when his real daughter, Celebrian, had left Arda for the shores of Valinor.

In fact, it was Lord Celeborn who had initially trained her to be a warden. All along, Celeborn had not wanted her to join, but when Lady Galadriel had finally given into her pleas, he had indeed trained her without holding back, thinking that she would give up on the notion if he was hard on her.

How wrong he was. Lord Celeborn's plan backfired greatly. The harder he had pushed Belegwen during training, the harder she had worked, being utterly determined to prove herself as good a fighter as any ellon. Because of this, she quickly passed the tests and became a warden, much to Celeborn's dismay. He had wanted a different life for her, one more suited to an elleth and had offered to find instructors to teach her arts, such as sewing, cooking, gardening, and music. Belegwen had refused though because those things did not interest her. Defending Caras Galadhon was in her blood and after she became a warden, there was no turning back.

"Lord Celeborn, you know I cannot grant you that. I am Haldir's second now and I have worked very hard for it. I will be fine. You need not worry about me." She said softly, looking at him with disappointed eyes. Would he ever stop asking her to quit?

"Oh, but I cannot stop myself from worrying, my dear. I helped raise you Belegwen. You never stray too far from my thoughts." He whispered, looking a bit ashamed for admitting such a weakness. "You have chosen to spend your life as a warden, but things keep happening to you." He said, reaching out to touch her neck, only to have her pull away from his touch. This saddened him even more. "Accidents keep happening Belegwen. Soon you will go into battle," he murmured, pausing for a second, "But will you return?"

She did not know.

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Haldir watched the bed closely as Lady Galadriel finally opened her eyes, slowly raising her head as she took her delicate hand off Erthalion's forehead. She had an unreadable look in her eyes as her gaze met Haldir's. Slowly, she shook her head and then looked back down at Erthalion, who had also opened his eyes and was staring at her, awaiting his verdict.

"Haldir, he is telling the truth." She whispered, sending a chill up Haldir's spine as the implication of this was quickly worked out in his mind. "I cannot find any memory of the events that took place, nor can I find the malice that was surely harbored in his heart over the situation. It is gone, or at least far beyond my reach."

The room was silent for a few moments before Haldir spoke up, "But you cannot guarantee that it is completely gone?"

"No, I cannot." She replied softly, still looking at Erthalion and delving deep into his eyes with her stare as she tried again to pick up any little sign or hint that something was amiss. Haldir's eyes narrowed into slits. He could not believe this was happening! He was infuriated with what Erthalion had done and now the perpetrator could not even remember his crime! Frustrated, Haldir turned and faced the wall for a moment, one hand covering his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. However, he turned right back around when he sensed the others reentering the room.

Haldir frowned even more when he saw them because they both looked a little more rattled than before. Lord Celeborn seemed to have a slight uneasiness to his stature that was not normally there and Belegwen looked terrible, to be quite honest. She had appeared to be nervous when she had entered at first, with dark rings that ran underneath her eyes, exposing her lack of sleep to the world. She had looked weary the evening before, but she looked even more so now, her face drooping as she looked around the room and took in the scene that was before them.

She looked so downtrodden and defeated at the moment. Though it would not be noticeable to the average elf, Haldir could see small flashes of fear come and go from her face as she looked Erthalion. There was a clear uneasiness in her demeanor too. She was shifting her weight from foot to foot as though she did not have the power to stand still at the moment. Inwardly, Haldir felt himself crumble—how dare Erthalion place such insecurity within her heart! Haldir internally felt pain for her and her situation, though one never would have guessed it from his tall and powerful stance.

He watched as Galadriel slowly approached Belegwen and took both of her hands in her own as she broke the news to her. "Belegwen, I have searched his memories and I cannot find any trace of the anger and hatred that he had originally harbored towards you. One cannot tell what the future may hold, but for now, the memories are gone." She said, squeezing Belegwen's hands in an attempt to reassure her, though Belegwen's eyes had gone wide and her face had paled.

"I know this will be hard for you, Belegwen, but the chore of administering his punishment has fallen upon you, as you are the victim of the atrocity. I know you will choose fairly and wisely. Take your time to think it through. We shall wait here until you have made your decision and will be the witnesses. You may go into another room and think if you wish." Galadriel said to a clearly overwhelmed Belegwen, indicating the door with her outstretched hand. "Go now and choose wisely."

"But I am not skilled at such things, my lady!" She protested, her face curving into a look of shock as she tried to talk Galadriel out of this. "I do not know what to have him do! I…" She said, trailing off as she saw the look that Galadriel gave her.

There was no way out of this for her.

Utterly defeated, Haldir watched as she left the room to go and think.

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Avoiding the questioning glances she was receiving from the two healers in the front room who were peering down the hallway, trying to eavesdrop on the conversations that were taking place, Belegwen walked all the way to the end of the hallway and entered a patient room that was thankfully empty. Completely confused and lost, Belegwen laid down on the plain bed that situated in the middle of the room and stared at the ceiling for a long time, her mind going blank as she forced herself to calm down. After having counted the ceiling boards 10 times, she rolled over and stared at the sheer white curtain that was blowing inside the room from the balcony, blocking her view of the morning.

"He does not remember." She thought to herself over and over again. Could she really bestow punishment upon an elf who did not remember his crime? Part of her wanted revenge of the foulest nature, but the other half begged for her to just let it go. Guilt filled Belegwen's heart as she thought about him serving her punishments, but not ever really knowing why he had strangled her in the first place. "I do not know if I could live with the guilt of that."

She frowned, and rolled onto her back again, her arms flopping over her head as she stared up at the ceiling. "Why is it me that has to give the verdict? Why cannot Haldir, who is more experienced with such things, decide his punishment?" She thought, pausing for a second. "What would Haldir sentence him to if it were his task?"

Belegwen had no idea. The elves of Caras Galadhon rarely ever did any wrong and those who did were often asked to complete community service hours, which were more of an annoyance than a punishment. Their crimes had been very small though, unlike this atrocity. The only thing Belegwen could think of that was appropriate for the crime that Erthalion had committed was banishment. Would it be banishment from Caras Galadhon though, or from all of elvendom?

Belegwen did not know. Though she did not want to bequeath a punishment that was too harsh, he had tried to murder her. If she sent him to another place, like Imladris, was it possible that he would commit another foul crime on some other elf? And what if some of those elves had not found out who he was and what he was capable of? If she warned them about his crime, would they even accept him in another realm?

Belegwen did not wish for any other unsuspecting elleth or ellon to endure the same trial she had faced. What if another elleth was not as lucky as she was. What if another elleth was not strong enough to fight back?

She shivered at the thought. "I cannot send him to the other realms. I do not wish for any other ellyth or ellyn to get hurt. If he is capable of violence once, he will be capable of doing it again. No one else will suffer my fate. No one."

Unfortunately, the connotation of what she just said meant that she could not banish Erthalion at all. If she sent him away, he could go live in the world of men and women or elsewhere. Women and other creatures could be vulnerable to his violence too. He was an immortal. How many women could he abuse during his eternity on Arda?

"No. I cannot banish him. He will stay here where Haldir and I can keep a close eye on him. If he becomes violent again, at least I know that I will stand a chance against him. Haldir could also take him down if such a thing were to happen again. I will not push him away to others when he is our responsibility. We will deal with him here." She thought to herself, nodding a bit as she sat up and stared at her feet intensely.

"In fact, his punishment shall be that he can never leave Caras Galadhon unless he is called to war or accompanied by Haldir or some other wardens who would be able to keep a constant watch over him. I will also have him swear an oath to the Valar that he shall not act in violence against a fellow elf again, giving them permission to deal with him as they wish if he was to break his vow."

Belegwen stood now, satisfied with her answer. Erthalion would not lose all of his freedom, which was okay because he did not remember his malice. If he did eventually remember, however, he would be detained and under the Valar's authority. Nodding to herself as she furrowed her eyebrows, she walked down the hallway and entered the room again, this time looking powerful and full of authority.

She walked right up to him and his eyes widened with fear when he saw the look on her face. "Erthalion, I sentence you to stay here in Caras Galadhon unless you are escorted by wardens who have the power to detain you at any moment if you act violently. You must also take an oath to the Valar, once you are healed, stating that you will never act out violence against a fellow elf again, putting your fate into the hands of the Valar, lest you break your vow." She stated firmly, looking around the room at everyone else's faces. "You are all the witnesses of this ruling. So it is said, so it is done." She finished, nodding to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn out of respect.

"No." Haldir said, as everyone turned their heads to face him. "That is not justice!" He looked both shocked and infuriated at what she had just said. He looked around at the others to support him, but everyone was too shocked to say anything. Finally, he looked to Lady Galadriel, who was walking towards him.

"Haldir, justice has been served today. It is done." Galadriel said, looking into his eyes almost pleadingly. However, Haldir ignored this and stormed over to where Belegwen was standing, but she blatantly turned and walked out of the room before he could reach her, a storm of emotions rolling over her as she heard his thunderous footsteps following her through the corridor.

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"Belegwen! Belegwen!" Haldir called after her as she ran down the stairs of the talan and walked away from him as fast as she possibly could. Haldir would not tolerate such behavior though; his anger at the entire situation boiled his blood. He jumped down the remaining steps and, quick as lightning, grabbed her arm and started to pull her into the forest, staying away from the path so that they could talk privately. Though Belegwen said nothing, she tried to yank her arm away from him as best she could until he finally stopped and let go of her. She fell to the forest floor, but quickly got up, her anger at him very evident in her eyes and face.

He ignored this. "How could you?!" He hissed, turning around to start pacing as he did when he was irritated or vexed. "He hurt you! He might do it again! You should have banished him and you did not!"

Pulling a small twig from her hair and throwing it to the ground violently, she replied, "Because Haldir, if he attacked me, he could hurt other elves too! I will not have it! At least I have a chance of defending myself! Others would not be so lucky! He is detained here and that is why I chose what I did!" She cried out, clearly irritated that he was not happy with her choosing.

"You are the only one he wants to hurt! Heledhril has told me that he was upset about not getting promoted to second in command! If he remembers, he will try and kill you again! You have put yourself in danger!" Haldir boomed, grabbing the tops of her arms tightly for emphasis. "You are going to get yourself killed!"

A hand smacked his face, shocking Haldir as she deftly yanked herself out of his grasp. "Do not touch me!" She yelled, then quickly lowered her voice without losing the intensity that was in her eyes. "I am a warden Haldir! You told me last night that you thought I was strong, yet now you contradict yourself by implying that I cannot defend myself! What is wrong with you?! You lied to me last night!"

"It would be dangerous to any warden! I would not want anyone putting themselves in unnecessary danger as you have!" He spat, getting louder with every word he said. "I do not want you to get hurt!"

"As a warden, Haldir, I must put others before myself!" She shrieked back at him, pushing him away with one arm. "I thought you of all people would recognize the importance of that!"

"You are wrong!" He roared, turning as if he wanted to start pacing again, but then coming back to add more. "There are warriors in all of the other realms! With a simple warning, they could have protected their inhabitants if necessary, but I do not think it would be. He was only after you. He only had a reason to attack you!"

"And what do you think he would do with the next elf or man who stood in his way? Offer to talk it out?! That is insane, Haldir! His actions will not change! He has the potential to be violent again! Heledhril knows the warning signs! We can watch over him here and intervene if he starts to behave badly!"

"Yes, once you have been murdered in cold blood we will all realize what a terrible mistake has been made here today and we will indeed intervene. A lot of good that will do though!" He said, sarcasm flowing from his lips easily as he glared at her. "Why can you not see you are in danger?"

"Why can you not see that I am a mature warden who is capable of handling the situation?!" She said, now becoming louder than Haldir. "Anyway, I hit him extremely hard! I do not think he will be remembering anything about the whole ordeal anytime soon!"

"Yes, and so now he has the element of surprise on his side! If he slits your throat before anyone catches on that he remembers, we will not be able to save you!" He said, coming dangerously close to her again and reaching out to take her shoulders as he spoke to her with desperation. "You need to change your bidding Belegwen," he said, becoming a bit calmer than before when she did not resist his touch. "There is still time to make everything right." He said, chancing a small stroke of her face with his hand.

"Get out of my face." She whispered dangerously. "My decision is final."

With that said, she walked away from him. Frustrated, Haldir grabbed a fist-sized rock from the ground and shouted as he threw it as hard as he could in the opposite direction of Belegwen, then jerked himself back around to watch her fade into the distance.

ooOoo

Belegwen stared at the stairs she was ascending slowly as she attempted to rub her knotted hair dry with her towel. Having just returned from her evening bath, Belegwen's mood was tainted with sadness and her body was utterly weary. For the life of her, she could not get the argument with Haldir out of her mind. In her heart, she felt a terrible pain eating away at her. Belegwen did not like having him mad at her. It hurt that he did not think her judgment was adequate though. He had not believed her when she told him about the male voice that had been in her head during her skirmish with Erthalion either. Would he ever believe what she told him? Would he ever trust her opinion?

She sighed, blinking away tears once again as she continued to go up the stairs. Her emotions were all so mixed up right now that she had no idea what to think anymore. The only thing she did know was that she was going to be terribly lonely tonight, in bed all alone because of her disagreement with Haldir.

"Belegwen?" She heard a soft voice question. She hesitated before looking up to see a rather concerned Rumil in front of her, inspecting her face and demeanor with great scrutiny. He was clad in only his white robe, just like her, though he was headed down to the bathing pool and she was headed back up from it. "Are you well?" He asked gently, looking into her eyes.

Belegwen looked down again quickly, her lip quivering. She knew that if she answered him, she would start to cry and she refused to do that. He must have sensed this though, as she felt his arms envelop her into a small hug. "You go through a hard time right now, meldir." He whispered as he let her go and stood back to try and look at her face. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Hesitating only for a moment, Belegwen gave a quick nod of her head, though she never looked up from the floor. She felt Rumil's hand gently touch the small of her back as he started to lead her up the stairs. "Come along—I will try my best to help you put everything in perspective." He said softly as he opened the door to his own room and led her in.

"Take a seat, Marchwarden." He said, his hand gesturing her over to the bed, which was the only thing he had to sit on in the room. Belegwen hesitated for a second, thinking that she was invading his personal space, but before she could protest, he had led her over there and they both sat down together, side by side. Gently, he took both of her hands in his and held them close together, giving them a small squeeze of reassurance.

Finally, she looked up and met his eyes. "You need not call me marchwarden when we are not working Rumil. If we are going to be friends, you should call me Belegwen." She said softly, then bowed her head down again, trying her best to hide the terrible pain that was in her heart right now.

"Very well Belegwen, that I will do. Now tell me, what has my brother Haldir said that has upset you?" He asked.

Belegwen gasped upon hearing Haldir's name and looked up in surprise, causing Rumil to have a small chuckle over the shocked expression that adorned her face. "Why are you so surprised, dear Belegwen? Everyone could hear you both screaming at each other in the woods, though none dared to get close enough to hear what was actually being said. I have been worried about you all day, for I know my brother can be very stubborn sometimes. Tell me what he said." Rumil urged, smiling a bit. "Do not worry, you can say whatever you want about him and I will not tell. I promise."

So encouraging were his words that Belegwen found it impossible not to open up to her new friend. "Haldir does not think I have given the right punishment to Erthalion. He thinks I should have banished him, as he is worried that I have put myself in unnecessary danger. He said that Erthalion could surprise me if his memories return and attack me. He would not hear one word of what I had to say about the reasoning behind my choice. It is as if he cannot accept that his way may not always be the only way to do something."

"Ah, yes. Haldir is very pig-headed at times and always has been. Sometimes he just needs a little time to stop and think everything over. I am certain he will see the value in your choice. I was talking with the other wardens earlier and we could not figure out why Haldir did not like your plan. They thought it was quite admirable how you have put the safety of others before the safety of yourself. In this action, you have shown the qualities that every good warden strives to have, meldir. Give Haldir time to mull over it. He will come around with time." Rumil said, then started to look a bit more sad. "But you… Is this choice one that you can live with? Are you going to be able to tolerate seeing he who has abused you around the training area and potentially working alongside you?"

Her shoulders started to shake as she looked at the ground again. "I do not understand why the Valar have allowed this to happen Rumil." She said, starting to break down more and more with every word, but somehow managing to keep her tears at bay, though her voice had an undeniable raised quality and shakiness to it that is often common in elleths who are crying. "I wanted him to come to justice, but he does not remember his crime! If he remembered, I could have easily given him what he rightly deserved, but not this way! I could not live with the guilt of having given him a grave punishment when he does not even remember committing the crime. I just could not bear to do it..." She said, trailing off as she sniffled a bit.

Suddenly, she felt Rumil's arms around her once more, comforting her by stroking her hair as she remembered her naneth once doing, so very long ago. As he gently held her, her breathing slowly calmed and she felt the tears in her eyes recede. Finally, she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you Rumil. You are a good listener. I am proud to call you meldir." She said softly, managing to give him a small smile in return for all of his efforts.

"There is that smile I love," he said, smiling back at her as he lifted her head up by putting a couple of his fingers under her chin. "Think nothing of it."

"Rumil, I have brought back your long knives from…"

Both Belegwen and Rumil turned to see a very shocked Haldir, who had apparently just entered Rumil's room without knocking. All three stared at each other, totally flabbergasted. Belegwen watched as Haldir's jaw quivered a bit and the two sheathed long knives in his hands fell to the ground, creating two loud crashes.

Jumping at the sound, Belegwen was suddenly aware of everything. They were in Rumil's room, on Rumil's bed, clad in mere robes, sitting very close to one another with Rumil's hand underneath her chin, as if he was going to…

"No." She whispered, as Haldir finally pulled himself together, turned, and exited the room and went back down the stairway. "NO!" She yelled, standing up abruptly as she realized what Haldir must have been thinking.

Quickly, she ran out into the hallway and called out to him. "Haldir! It is not what you think! HALDIR!"

ooOoo

Edited by P.G. on 05/27/20.

Woo! Nothing like a good cliffie! As you reach for rotten tomatoes to throw at my cliffie-loving self, please consider hitting that good ol' review button down there and telling me what you think! I hope you enjoyed it! Have a good one!

-P.G.