Hello all! Well, that is, if anyone is still out there, lol. I can't believe that I started this in 2002 and it's still not finished! I've neglected it quite badly, and for that, I'm truly sorry. One of my fellow authors in the Harry Potter world actually gave me the idea of springing back into this. She recently discontinued one of her fics and simply wrote how she planned to end it at the end of the fic. I decided after reading that type of ending that I really don't want this fic to end that way. I want to post the real ending and I think I might finally be ready to jump back into working on it again.

This is a terribly small chapter, but I'm posting it this way because I wrote this section back in 2008 and I want it to be separate from what I write next, which might sound stylistically different than this chapter. My writing continues to change over the years—I do hope you can see the progression in this story. Please enjoy this little section I wrote back then and let me know if you're still reading. Encouragement would definitely help me find the will to get the next part out.

Thank you to all of you who are still here and reading the fic. I'm glad so many people have enjoyed this one over the years.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

To Be Forever Faithful

By Ponytail Goddess

Chapter 34: Rumil's Discovery

Soft tendrils of light floated down from the sky and illuminated Haldir's room with a soft silver glow. Taking in a slow breath, Haldir inhaled the scent of Belegwen's hair as he nuzzled his head against hers gently. He listened to her breathe, feeling the ever so slight movement of her chest against his arm as she slept peacefully against him.

Tenderly, Haldir sifted his fingers through her hair and watched as each individual strand was bathed in moonlight. Merciful shores, she was beautiful...

What if this was the last time they laid like this?

Haldir squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt the clenching pain start up in his chest again—the one he felt every time he thought about dying. Surely this battle could not be his last! He did not want to think that this could be his last night sleeping with her pressed warmly against his body.

Just in case, he opened his eyes and tried to commit every little detail of her into his memory: the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips, the peaceful look on her face while her eyes were glazed over with reverie, her loose hairs tickling his shoulder mysteriously every time a breeze blew through the window... Everything.

The familiarity of her was a comfort in and of itself. They had been together like this so many times, so close to one another that it was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began. She almost seemed like an extension of himself, lying there peacefully beside him.

Haldir's last few months had felt rather empty due to the lack of this closeness. He hoped it was not as problematic when they went off to war. So far, they were not arguing about anything and if they were on good terms, he imagined that they would both be able to put up with the lack of touch. Well, at least for a little while.

Really, Haldir was not sure if he could go that long without acknowledging her in this way. It was easy enough to keep their secret in Lothlorien because they could find privacy often enough to express their relationship. However, while traveling with an army, there would be no such thing as privacy.

The more Haldir thought about it, the more he really did not want to leave. He had grown quite used to these quiet moments with her and found that he greatly enjoyed them, perhaps even more than when they actually entered into their sexual acts. Seeing her so calm and placid made him relax. He knew Belegwen had seen little happiness in her long life and so it pleased him greatly to see her during moments where she was not tense or stressed.

Haldir had little say in the matter of whether or not he left though. If he was truly meant to die then it would happen as surely as day would replace night. Therefore, this could be his last night with her.

Haldir did not want to have any regrets. He needed to tell her how he felt because it was possibly his last chance. Now under pressure that he had never felt before, Haldir was quite tempted to do it.

However, he knew he would not. He was too afraid, for what if she did not return his affections? Because of his duty, he could not risk the chance of fading again. His wardens needed him.

If he could make it back though, if his prediction was really just something he made up in his mind, perhaps there was hope for it after the battle. If he could brave fighting Orcs and Uruk-hai, then surely he could ask the lady to amend her warden's code so an allowance could be made.

Yes, he would place his hope in such a thing. It would be the only thing that would make the trip tolerable, thinking about how he could have her when he got back. If he came back, perhaps they could get married and sleep together like this every night.

Perhaps Haldir could call her his wife.

Smiling softly at such a wonderful thought, Haldir lost himself in a plethora of daydreams as he absently stroked the valley between her soft breasts. When he heard her sharp intake of breath, he immediately found himself back in reality.

"Haldir," she murmured, sounding tired as she turned to face him, "Why are you not asleep?"

Haldir studied her worried eyes as he felt her gently brush a few strands of his light hair away from his face and back behind his ear. Her hand then proceeded to pass over his ear and came to a resting place on the side of his face, leaving a tingling trail in its wake.

"Troubled thoughts," he answered hoarsely. "Nothing more."

Her soft eyes were suddenly sympathetic as she surveyed his countenance. "Haldir, please try to put your work aside for the night. You need your sleep to be ready for the journey. Your problems can wait until tomorrow." She whispered, rubbing her thumb across his cheek.

A feeling of warmth passed through his body as she looked at him with a soft sparkle in her eyes. Belegwen cared about him—cared about how he felt tomorrow and what was bothering him now. It made him happy to have someone who would try to comfort him, which helped his thoughts stray away from the battle and become more present with the elleth resting beside him.

Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and gave her a soft peck on her lips before laying back down on his pillow and watching her again. Then, the words started to fall from his lips without his permission. "Belegwen… I…"

He wanted to tell her so badly as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted their situation to be different, what he wished to ask of the lady at the end of all this chaos, how afraid he was that this might be their last night together...

How much he loved her.

Then again, judging by the way she was looking at him right now, perhaps she already knew.

"Haldir," she said in an even softer voice than before. "Wait until morning."

Then she scooted up higher on the bed, gently took his head in her hands and guided it onto her breasts comfortably. She started stroking his hair once more after he had settled in. He felt his new cushion rise and fall gently while he wrapped his arms around her body, caressing her sides with reverence. He could hear her heart beating steadily in her chest; he focused on listening to that and slowly pushed all other thoughts from his head.

"Sleep," she whispered, and sleep he did.

ooOoo

When the two finally stopped moving and he was certain they were asleep, Rumil gently closed the door to Haldir's talan. Once he silently closed the door, he stood staring at the doorknob in silence for the longest time.

It could not be!

It was though; he had seen it with his own two eyes!

What a fool he had been—this was happening under his nose the whole time and he had not noticed it until now! Everything that had happened over the past three months made much more sense when paired with the knowledge he had acquired tonight: the fading, the arguing, the concern for each other's well-being, the mistrust over his friendship with Belegwen… The list went on and on!

Now, Rumil remembered how Haldir had condemned him and accused him of breaking the rules with Belegwen and his blood started to boil. The hypocrite! How dare he give a long-winded speech on such things when it was he who was actually carrying out the actions! Confused and more than a little hurt, Rumil chose to take a run through the city to try to get rid of his frustrations.

As he made his way down the stairs and out the door, all he could think about was how Haldir was breaking the rules. This was not like him at all—Haldir was not one to flirt with chance, or ellyth for that matter, so how in the world had all of this happened?

Of course, the answer to this question was easily found because Rumil knew his brother.

Through the years, Haldir had seemingly little to no interest in normal ellyth; most of them simply bored him to death with their gossip. No, Haldir loved nothing more than his post and position in Lothlorien and had clearly needed someone to share that with. Who better than Belegwen, who felt the same way? Who better than Belegwen, who spent her entire day in his presence?

Really, it was quite obvious. How had he missed this before?

That was obvious too. One would not expect the lead Marchwarden of Lothlorien to be breaking the rules he worked so hard to enforce. Rumil could only imagine what sort of mental battle Haldir had fought before forging his illicit relationship with Belegwen. Haldir was a strict rule keeper and such actions did not fit in within his normal personality.

Had Belegwen changed him?

Rumil doubted that as he silently rounded a corner and ran into a stone-paved garden. Belegwen was not the rule breaking sort either. After all, there had been so much prejudice about her being a warden. Belegwen knew she could not afford to make any mistakes because many of the wardens would have immediately reported any false steps with the hope of getting her removed. Indeed, Belegwen had always treaded with care, no matter what the task at hand.

Perhaps the whole situation was simply too much for him to comprehend.

Indeed, this was probably the most truthful thought he had come by all night.

No longer willing to think about his brother's confusing dalliance with his best friend, Rumil stopped thinking about them and strictly focused on the burning in his thighs as he put one foot in front of the other to a steady rhythm.

ooOoo

Edited by P.G. on 05/29/20.

It's short, I know, but hopefully it's better than nothing. I really hope you liked it despite it's length. I must ask one small favor—if you know the correct spelling of elleth and ellon, could you please give it to me? I've seen them spelled several different ways and I'd really like to know the correct way, as well as the correct plurals for both words.

Thank you again for your time. Please have a fantastic day!

-P.G.