Welcome back to TBFF! I'm so glad you're here to read my story! A special thanks goes out to PrettyRecklessLaura, Arwan, and Addy White for their reviews on the last chapter. Please enjoy the latest installment!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.
ooOoo
To Be Forever Faithful
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 45: Helm's Deep
Belegwen awoke with a gasp to a plethora of new sounds and motions. The clip-clop of the horse's hooves had become loud and the terrain had changed underneath the healing cart, becoming more uneven and moving her around much more roughly than it had when they traveled through the fields of grass. Startled by this sudden change, Belegwen carefully got to her feet and peeked out the cart's back curtain.
They had arrived at Helm's Deep. The cart was steadily proceeding up an uneven brick ramp to enter Rohan's fortress of protection. Taking care not to fall, Belegwen gripped the wooden counter atop the cabinets to help ease her way to the front of the cart, taking a seat next to Linedhel in the dim light of dusk.
Linedhel gasped, then smiled when he saw her sit down. "Thank goodness you have woken up! How do you feel Belegwen?" Linedhel asked, haphazardly trying to direct the horse while inspecting her at the same time.
"I am well enough. I feel as though I have recovered from the black speech." She replied, pointing ahead of her to direct Linedhel to watch the ramp more carefully, lest they drive right off. "How long was I asleep?"
"Well…" Linedhel started, sounding a bit uncomfortable, "I am afraid I must have been a little overzealous with my power, Belegwen; I only meant for you to sleep for a single night. However, you have now slept for two and a half days straight. I apologize, as that was never my intention." He said, looking embarrassed.
"That explains why I feel so well rested now. It is not a problem Linedhel. In fact, I thank you for it because I now feel much better." Belegwen said confidently. She was not concerned with the mistake, as nothing bad had resulted from it.
"Haldir will be relieved. He has been very worried about you, especially since you did not wake up when I thought you would." Linedhel replied, though his face seemed to tell her that something much more unpleasant had unfurled between the two of them. Had Haldir lost his temper with Linedhel? Judging by the discomfort on Linedhel's face, he probably had.
Belegwen frowned as Linedhel reacted to the ranks stopping in front of him, quickly pulling back his reigns to stop the horse from walking into the cart in front of him. There were many lines of soldiers in front of the carts on the curving ramp and Belegwen could not see what was happening at the front of the lines. Surely Haldir would see to them getting in though; Belegwen could not imagine their help would be denied. Lord Celeborn had been adamant about how their presence would be necessary and how the families of Rohan would need their protection.
After several minutes had passed, the ranks started moving once more as access to the fortress was gained. Once they made it through the massive brick gates, they followed Esgalamon's signal from the dining cart ahead of them to veer off onto a ramp that led down into the protected areas of the keep.
"Please stop for a moment. I would like to get off and see a few elves before I head down there." Belegwen said quietly as she looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings. There were many men here, but they did not look like trained men. Most of them looked like farmers or herdsmen—those that were not too old or too young anyway, which seemed to be the predicament of more than half the crowd.
It was as Lord Celeborn said—they had arrived to bring hope to the hopeless, for this was a ragtag bunch indeed. Belegwen feared especially for the youngest looking men, many of which still appeared to be boys and looked as though they would be clueless when it came to knowing weaponry or defensive skills.
They were unlikely to survive the night.
Belegwen leaned forward slightly when Linedhel pulled back the reigns once again to stop the horse. He handed her a leaf-wrapped piece of lembas bread that he had stowed underneath his seat before saying, "Eat the whole thing and promise me you will come into the keep before the battle Belegwen. This is no place for an unborn elfling."
"I promise Linedhel. I will find my way down there soon." She said, pocketing the bread before she carefully hopped down from the cart. Belegwen watched as Linedhel and the other cart drivers rode through an unlit doorway that looked as though it lead them into a darkened descent. It was in caves below the keep where the civilians would be hidden from danger. Belegwen intended to make it down there before the battle began as well.
Moving quickly, Belegwen started wandering the keep, looking for Haldir. She sought to reassure him before the battle that she was indeed all right so that he could fully focus on the task at hand without distraction. She had thought he would be easily spotted, as he was the only one amongst them donning a red cape, but the keep was crawling with boys and men, many of them loud and bustling about in such a way that made it difficult for Belegwen to pass through their midst.
The Edain she could see within her eye line were quickly preparing for battle, many of the boys and men suiting up in mismatched, ill-fitting armor. Some pushed through the crowd, trying to find weapons that were usable. Some of the swords Belegwen saw appeared to be in poor condition, having laid around the keep for far too long without receiving proper maintenance over time.
Her eyes finally came to rest on a small group of boys who were sifting through a pile of swords, very few of them in good working condition. Belegwen cringed as she saw a boy start to walk away with one that was in particularly bad shape.
Jogging after him, Belegwen held her palm facing outward to the boy and spoke in Westron. "Stop." The child stopped, his long black hair falling over one eye as he looked up at Belegwen and said something in Rohirric to her that she could not understand. She did not think the boy knew Westron, so she motioned him back to the pile and picked out a much better sword for the boy, taking the first sword from his hands and replacing it quickly with a nod. She also helped the last few boys from the group find swords that were the closest to being in decent shape and appropriate for their physical builds.
Two of the boys lingered, smacking their swords together in a mock battle that made Belegwen cringe. Neither of them knew how to properly hold or use their swords. Taking one of the swords from the pile into her own hand, she waved at them to obtain their attention and then demonstrated a proper sword grip to them, helping them both achieve it before guiding their swords through a few basic motions for them to practice. It was not much, but Belegwen hoped the simple moves would serve them well during the battle.
As she sent them on their way, she turned to put the sword she had demonstrated with back into the pile, only to find Rumil curiously watching her from a distance. Upon meeting her eyes, he approached her and said, "Belegwen, I did not know you had finally woken up. How are you feeling today?"
"I feel much better now, thank you for asking." She said, idly placing her hand on her stomach, which was quickly becoming a norm for her. "The ellon also seems to have calmed down. I think all is well within me once more."
"This is wonderful news gwathel! Has Haldir seen you yet? He has been terribly worried about you the last few days and I know he would certainly like to see you before the battle begins." Rumil said, looking around for his brother as if to direct her to him. Belegwen's eyes searched along with him, but neither of them could see Haldir's familiar form through the crowd of men and elves milling about within the walls of the keep.
Dusk had quickly given way to darkness, more so than usual as storm clouds were quickly gathering in the sky and covering up the light the elves had grown accustomed to from the moon and stars. Belegwen could see a few unkempt women in threadbare dresses worming their way through the crowd to light torches that were placed against the walls of the keep. The golden firelight illuminated Rumil's face as a torch near where they were standing suddenly rose to life with a burning flame.
"He must still be debriefing with the other leaders. Come, I will take you to them. You can also deliver his sword to him; Valtaur sharpened it tonight and asked me to return it to him." He said, showing Belegwen the sword he carried in his left hand.
"Very well then," Belegwen replied and carefully followed Rumil through the crowd, trying to stay in the path directly behind him so the men, who were not known for being graceful, would not bump into her and jostle the little ellon. There were elves milling about as well, many speaking solemnly amongst themselves and checking their armor straps and weapons as they went about finding their places on the wall of the keep. All of them had serious faces, a veil of gloom covering their previously jovial moods.
The elves knew what they were up against. They knew what evils they would face that night. They knew what the cost of failure would be. Tied to their duty and pride, they marched on, prepared to do whatever was necessary to save the innocents inside the keep.
Belegwen caught sight of Heledhril as she followed behind Rumil. He smiled and greeted her with a bow of his head and a salute of his fist upon his heart. Belegwen responded with a nod in the darkness and called to him, "Be safe tonight Heledhril! Fight well!"
As she passed him by, his lips did not move, but she could have sworn she heard his voice reply, "I will Marchwarden."
She paused in confusion for a moment, but Rumil grabbed her by the hand before she could initiate a conversation with him and pulled her down a set of stairs and into a darkened hallway, lit only by one tiny torch all the way at the far end. As they walked through the darkness towards the light, Belegwen could hear the soft taps of their feet echo through the brick hallway as they walked.
Stopping by the thick wooden door by the torch, she met Rumil's eyes as he handed her Haldir's sword. Sheathed in a metal scabbard that was fitting of a great commander, it was a heavy burden in her hand.
"Rumil, please be safe tonight. I do not know what I would do if harm were to come to you." She whispered, grabbing him up in an emotional hug that was made awkward by her enlarged stomach. Rumil ended up oddly bent over her shoulder, but held her back tightly all the same. Belegwen did not let go of her best friend right away, instead opting to whisper a prayer of protection to Eru Iluvatar for him. When she was finished, she grabbed his face and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.
"Protect Haldir for me. Please." She requested quietly, looking in his blue eyes for some sort of confirmation. They softened under her gaze.
"Do not worry gwathel, we will look after one another during the battle. We always do." Rumil replied, giving her a kiss back on her cheek before stepping away from her, only to grab her hand and squeeze it in his own. Though he smiled, there was an uncharacteristically serious tone to his voice tonight.
"Take care of yourself as well, Belegwen. Keep that little nephew of mine safe while I am gone. I will do everything in my power to make sure that his adar returns to you in one piece." He vowed and then, with one final squeeze, let go of her hand. He looked at her for a moment more, the firelight setting his eyes aglow in the darkness. Then, he took off in the other direction, presumably to find his place for the battle ahead.
Slightly shaken by the goodbye that had just taken place with her closest friend, Belegwen found that she needed to take a couple of breaths to ease her anxiety before she entered the room she had been led to. The door was thick and heavy, though the black metal latch allowed it to open quietly enough. Belegwen found herself in a large, cavernous room with a high ceiling. Though the room was huge, there was only a small crowd of beings clustered in the middle of it, all drawn around a table covered in papers, books, and a miniature model of the fortress.
Only the two elves in the group seemed to notice Belegwen's appearance; the men and the dwarf continued talking as if they had not noticed her appear in the shadows. Belegwen stayed back, waiting for the meeting to finish before approaching Haldir. She listened quietly to them as they spoke of strategies, noticing that she was not the only one who lurked in the shadows in the massive room. There were a few others in the shadows of the room's edge, presumably waiting for the attention of the king or one of the other leaders.
At one point, she caught the blue eyes of the Mirkwood Prince, Legolas, who smiled at her before turning his attention back to the king. Belegwen had encountered the prince before during a couple of his many journeys to Lothlorien and had liked him well enough. Unlike others, Prince Legolas had never been afraid to spar with her and Belegwen had enjoyed practicing dueling with him on several occasions because he was very skilled in all types of weaponry.
He had told her that in Mirkwood there were several ellyth who served as wardens, which had perhaps influenced his lack of bias towards her. This had always intrigued Belegwen and she had hoped that one day she might be able to travel there and meet these ellyth wardens. She would love to see how they were received in Mirkwood, to spar with them, and to find out if they had any helpful advice for Belegwen on fitting in as female wardens.
Having been lost in thought momentarily, Belegwen snapped out of it with a silent inhalation and watched as the group of leaders dispersed, a couple of the men going to speak with the other men who were waiting for them in the shadows. She stepped out of the shadows and watched as Prince Legolas approached her.
"Belegwen, I hear congratulations are in order! Word has reached my realm of the appointment of Lothlorien's newest marchwarden. They have chosen well, mellon!" He said, holding her arm firmly, then bringing her in for a hug before Belegwen could put a stop to the action. When he pulled back from her, he immediately looked down and then back to her face, appearing to be uncertain of what to say now that he had discovered her pregnancy.
"I see you have discovered that congratulations of a different sort are also in order," Belegwen said with a flustered voice, flushing a bit at her admittance. She was saved from having to make a full explanation though as Haldir approached her from the side and laid his hand gently on her shoulder.
"Yes, Belegwen and I are expecting a new arrival in a few months." Haldir said, smiling at her momentarily before looking at the prince. "We are blessed to soon be having an elfling of our own."
Legolas, for his part, took the surprising news well and reacted gracefully to it. "I apologize, as I had not heard that the two of you had wed—'tis a joyous occasion indeed! I extend my warmest congratulations to you both. May this new elfling bring much happiness to your home." He said, bowing his head to them out of respect, though there was concern laced into his sharp gaze when he looked up at them a moment later.
It was clear that he too feared for what might happen to Haldir.
"Thank you Prince Legolas. Be certain to stay safe tonight." Belegwen said as he nodded to them and went on his way. A few minutes later the room had cleared out, leaving only her and Haldir, two lone figures in a massive cave staring at one another in the dim firelight.
"You are awake." He finally said, interrupting the silence that had lingered between them momentarily. "I am glad to see you up and about again. You did not wake up when Linedhel said you would and I was beginning to fear the worst."
Belegwen did not reply to this, but instead studied his eyes. Clear and blue, they shone with relief in the golden light of the torches and fireplace. Upon searching his mind, Belegwen was able to find a brief flash of the memory she was looking for. Haldir saw it too and immediately appeared embarrassed, which was a side of Haldir that Belegwen had not yet seen.
"You were unkind to Linedhel." Belegwen said in a low tone after the memory passed, sadness radiating off her mind and her face. "He does not deserve to be treated thusly. It was an accident."
Haldir looked down, studying the darkened bricks of the floor intently before answering. "I know. I will apologize in due time." He said, then looked up and met her disappointed eyes with his own.
Appearing to feel shameful, he murmured, "There is just something about you Belegwen… something that makes me lose all reasonable thought and become reactive at times. I know what I said was inappropriate though and I will make it right after the battle."
Seeing that he was remorseful over the sentiments that had passed between him and the healer, Belegwen decided to let the problem rest. She had more important things that needed to be said before she left for the lower caverns of the keep.
"Speaking of the battle," Belegwen said as she grunted, hefting his sword up from her side so that it rested on top of both her palms. She held it out towards him and said, "Rumil has asked me to return your sword to you. Valtaur has sharpened it, I checked. May it serve you well in battle." She said, releasing it into his hands, which had immediately grabbed onto the sword to help her with the weighty burden.
Belegwen watched as Haldir slowly drew the sword from its sheath to examine the workmanship. Stepping away from Belegwen for a few moments, he examined the edge closely in the light of one of the torches and then gave it a few practice swings to test its balance. Appearing pleased, he replaced the sword into its scabbard and reattached it to his hip, saying aloud, "Valtaur has done a fine job, as expected."
He lingered a few steps away from her, watching her carefully as she slowly approached him once again. Noticing that his crimson cape was partially flipped over the wrong way, Belegwen reached up with one hand and quickly adjusted it so that flowed over his shoulders correctly.
She also ran her fingers gently along the top of each of his warrior braids, checking to make sure they were still tight and would stay plaited during the battle. Haldir's eyes closed as she did this, appearing to enjoy the feeling of her fingers in his shiny golden hair. When he opened his eyes, Belegwen's hand had grazed the entire length of his ear and jaw, stopping to rest underneath his chin. Her eyes were looking into his own expectantly.
Haldir only waited a second before giving her what she wanted, his eyes lowering to look at her lips before kissing her tenderly. Belegwen enjoyed the kiss, bringing her other hand up to cradle his face while reveling in the feel of his hands, which caressed her waist. The power of their bond passed through them, causing a tingling sensation everywhere they touched.
His thoughts quickly began to brand her like hot iron. Through their bond, she could hear him telling himself that this would be their last kiss and fear shot through Belegwen like lightning as she heard it.
She tried to pull away and recriminate him for having such negative thoughts, but Haldir did not allow it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her possessively and deepened their kiss. One of his hands slowly traveled up her back and became tangled in her hair as he kissed her passionately. A wave of pleasure shook Belegwen to the core as he gave her the parting kiss she had hoped for back in Lothlorien.
Haldir continued to kiss her, dipping her backwards to more fully access her lips. Belegwen lost herself completely within the moment, moaning into his mouth as his tongue stroked pleasurably against hers again and again. Every last drop of love Haldir felt for her was encapsulated in that kiss and she felt its power flow through every crevice of her body. It made her feel more alive than she had felt in years!
At last they parted, both of them breathing heavily and keeping their eyes closed. As Belegwen tried to regain control of her body, she felt Haldir lean his forehead against her own, his hot breath cascading across her face as they held one another in silence. A forlorn sorrow and a sense of mourning for what was about to be lost washed over them through the bond and both of them trembled beneath its weight.
She knew what he was going to do before he did it and tensed within his arms from the shock of it. "Belegwen…" she heard his hushed voice murmur between his ragged breaths.
Would he really say it now? Belegwen wanted to pull away from Haldir to look him in the eyes, but he held her close, their foreheads and noses touching as his golden hair lightly tickled her neck.
"I love you." Haldir whispered thickly, his voice full of desperation and longing. "I always have… and I always will."
Belegwen felt herself breaking apart underneath the power of his declaration. For so long, she had been uncertain as to whether or not he was capable of saying this. To do so under these conditions, when so much was about to be lost, was both beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time.
"I love you too, hervenn." She admitted softly, hearing him inhale quickly upon hearing the word she used. Pleasure stirred within him because she had called him her husband for the first time and Belegwen was pleased to find that it thrilled him so. "I love you so much." She whispered frantically, holding back the tears that threatened to fall now that he had finally given her what she had needed for so long.
Within her mind's eye, Belegwen struggled undernearth the great pressure of Haldir's dark thoughts. To him, these were their last moments together and he had cared enough to try and give her everything she desired from him. Yet, it was not enough and he knew it. Haldir knew what Belegwen would be losing if he did not make it back from the battle. Trembling, she drew back from him a bit to see his face for a moment, then put her hands back on his face and closed her eyes. She quietly started to pray.
"Eru Iluvatar, please watch over Haldir tonight. Keep him safe from the evils he will face. Please send him back to me and the elfling. Please." She begged with a voice dripping full of emotion. She whispered the prayer with her lips rubbing against his cheek as she felt hot tears welling up within her eyes. Belegwen was barely able to hold her tears in check as she felt more and more desperate for his safety.
Belegwen did not want him to die! Not when everything had finally fallen into place! Not now that they were expecting a beautiful new ellon in a few months! Not now that Haldir had finally admitted out loud that he loved her! No!
"Please do not leave me!" She begged him within his mind. "Please do not die!"
"I will try, sweet warden. I will do everything within my power to return to you and the elfling." He answered back repeatedly, even though they both knew the situation would be out of his control. Still, he tried to reassure her, though his words did not match up with the thoughts that she could hear in his mind. "I will try my best to come home to you and the ellon."
A feeling of unease fell upon Belegwen as she started to believe that his negative thoughts might be foretelling a dark future for the three of them. Haldir responded to this by pulling her tightly against him. He held her as tightly as he could for a minute more. He lingered with her as he kissed her hairline sweetly and then shakily grasped her upper arms and slowly eased her body away from his.
Going down on one knee before her, he pulled her closer to him by grabbing her hips, bringing the unborn ellon within her directly in front of him. Gently, meeting eyes with Belegwen once more, he lifted up the tan healing robes to reveal her enlarged stomach. He placed his hands where the elfling dwelt within her and stroked the curve of her stomach a few times. Addressing the elfling, he whispered, "Your ada loves you too. Do not ever forget it, ion of mine."
After bestowing the gentlest of kisses to her midsection, Haldir quickly pulled the robes back into place over her stomach and stood up, turning away from her while he took a few minutes to calm down and get a hold of himself. In his mind, Belegwen could feel his walls going up once again and at this time, could not begrudge him this. If emotional walls were the thing that would allow Haldir to concentrate on his task tonight, she did not mind them in the slightest.
When he finally turned back to her, Belegwen could tell that she was staring at the marchwarden instead of her hervenn. His eyes were cold and unfeeling as he looked upon her once more. "Be safe tonight Belegwen. Do what you can to help Linedhel, but do not put yourself or the elfling into danger. Do you understand?"
"Yes Haldir," she said quietly. He gave her a nod and then beckoned her to follow him with a motion of his hand. He spun around to leave, his red cape billowing behind him. Belegwen hurried after him, nearly having to jog to keep up with his rigorous pace as he led them down the darkened hallway and up the stairs leading back to the keep.
Haldir led her all the way back to the darkened tunnel where the carts had disappeared into the keep. She felt his eyes watching her as she parted from him and heard the doors close behind her with a faint boom a few moments later.
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Haldir felt a chill in the night air as he stared out into the darkness, the sound of thousands of boots marching in time echoing in his ears. They were gravely outnumbered; he could already tell. He was certain that the elves around him knew it as well. A feeling of foreboding washed over him as he knew what was about to come.
Needing to be certain of Belegwen's safety, Haldir quickly delved into her mind to make sure she was inside the keep. Indeed, she was. He could see that she was sitting on some sort of a barrel, watching as Linedhel cared for a child who appeared to have taken ill. He could also see Esgalamon eyeing Belegwen with annoyance, though he could tell that Belegwen was choosing to ignore him. Her hands were resting on the elfling within her as she sat quietly, waiting.
She was safe. Haldir was temporarily reassured, but caught a quick glance of her staring at him within his mind's eye before he brought himself fully back into his present.
She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and a severe look on her face. Indeed, her training had paid off. Haldir could tell that she had fully transformed into a marchwarden, as he had hoped she eventually would. "I will watch the battle through your eyes." She said, unwavering as she stared at him.
Knowing that he could not easily stop her, Haldir said nothing and turned his attention back to the present. The ranks of orcs were quickly approaching. They carried their twisted metal weapons and great flaming torches as they marched closer to the keep, growing ever louder as they approached. A burst of lightning lit up the sky, revealing the ugly faces of the orcs momentarily before the sky darkened again. Thunder crackled loudly above them, adding to the menacing feeling of the night.
Haldir glanced to his left to see Rumil standing beside him. Their eyes met for a moment and Rumil nodded at him, a mutual understanding passing between the two of them. They would keep each other safe, as they always did in times like these. Still, Haldir felt a pang of unhindered remorse as he realized this would be the first battle he ever fought without Orophin by his side. The three brothers had dwindled down to two…
He hoped they could still say that when the battle was over.
His thoughts of Orophin were interrupted by the light tinkling sound of rain drops starting to fall from the dark clouds above them. Soon, the rain poured down on Haldir relentlessly, plastering his sodden hair to the sides of his face and the back of his neck uncomfortably. Below, the orcs started to pound the ground and scream at them, their bellowing battle cries interrupting the silence that had lingered amongst those positioned on the keep.
Haldir signaled with his hand for the elves to take up their bows and take aim. Once the men had started to shoot arrows at the orcs, he had them fire a series of volleys into the crowd of orcs below. They tried to clear out as many as they could, as quickly as they could, knowing that the soldiers would be safest if the orcs stayed on the ground.
The sound of arrows whipped through the air around Haldir as he took shot after shot at the orcs below, trying his best to ignore the screams of his wardens that echoed around him as they began to take fire from the enemy. There was no time for mourning or distraction. Haldir concentrated as he loaded his bow over and over again.
The battle of Helm's Deep had begun.
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At last, it's time! I will try and update soon. Thanks for reading!
-P.G.