Answers to reviews:
Guest: Thanks.
Deadpool322: Yep.
Spectacular Webhead 11: Nah, this arc is just about Jayden and Ahsoka getting a lot of things off their chests.
It was another day of being stranded on Scarif, and both Jayden and Ahsoka were making the most of their situation. Jayden had devoted himself wholly to their survival and took charge of making sure they had enough food and water, as well as the materials necessary to build anything they needed. Ahsoka was content with tagging along and helping him however he needed, but she did seem to want to keep her distance and spent some time by herself.
Jayden didn't mind, they had resolved the fact that Jayden wasn't some pervert only interested in having sex with Ahsoka. He genuinely cared for Ahsoka as a... friend. By the Force, even he was starting to be confused on how he really felt for her and had been meditating to try and search his feelings for the truth, for the true extent of how he felt for Ahsoka.
Ahsoka, on the other hand, was less convinced things were getting better. No longer was it a question about Jayden's desires. Now it was a question of his intentions and motivation. She still wasn't convinced his thoughts regarding her were completely wholesome and was writing for further proof before making up her mind.
That was proving a little hard, though, as Ahsoka realized she was slowly slipping into an old mindset. This had come about after she'd seen Jayden virtually naked... and he. Was. Handsome. But she was determined to stay faithful to the Jedi Code, no matter what.
It was another sunny, balmy day on Scarif. The weather perfect and the scenery pristine and serene. Jayden stood, staring at the ocean, his eyes shut as he meditated though he easily sensed Ahsoka arriving and pause when she noticed him meditating and debated whether to leave him to his meditation.
"Don't go." Jayden said before she could take a step away.
"I didn't want to disturb you." Ahsoka said softly as she stood where she was,
"Your presence is soothing." Jayden said as he kept his eyes shut. "Like... like it holds the darkness at bay."
Ahsoka said nothing as she walked over to stand next to him, though made sure there was a gap between them. Ahsoka stared out at the ocean and glanced at Jayden, seeing his eyes were still shut as he meditated. She sighed. "The view is nice, the sun rise, sun setting... this whole place is beautiful and like an island of paradise." She chuckled a bit. "It's like we're on a vacation... but I don't want to be stuck here forever."
"Appreciate what life brings to the table." Jayden said without opening his eyes. "take the opportunity to relax, ease your mind. I can sense the turmoil within you about me, though it's a lot more different compared to our first day on this world."
"I'm... I'm not sure if I can." She softly answered. "I have to get back. There are people counting on me-"
"They will get along fine without you." Jayden calmly interjected. "Your Master handily took control of Florrum after those Trandos captured you, did he not?" He pointedly asked. Ahsoka knew that he had and understood Jayden was trying to make a point.
"I mean... he did..." She slowly answered.
"Then I think he will survive without you for a couple more days. If he cannot, then he needs to learn to appreciate the gift he's been given." He said. Ahsoka paused, head rising as his words registered.
"...what, me?" She asked, turning to him.
"Yes, you." He clarified with a nod, opening his eyes and meeting her gaze. He then turned his head back and closed his eyes to resume his meditation, but Ahsoka found herself with a light blush on her face and a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
What a nice compliment.
The two eventually settled down to eat and there was a silence in the air as they ate their food. After a few minutes of this, Ahsoka broke the silence.
"What would you do if you weren't a Sith?" She pointedly asked. She wasn't entirely sure why she'd asked such a question, supposing she was simply trying to make conversation. Jayden did not immediately reply, but the shift in his expression and posture indicated to Ahsoka that he was doing some thinking.
"I've never known anything else." Jayden said as he stared into the embers of their campfire. "Since I was a young child, i had been trained by Dooku, trained in the ways of the Dark Side of the Force, learning more about my ancestry. But... things have made me think, that I shouldn't be glued to one side, that light and darkness are the same, for one cannot exist without the other, as Revan's ideals were. Only a fool embraces just the Dark or the Light. But... if I was anything else other than a Sith, I'd be nobody." Part of Ahsoka wanted to respond to that, but she decided against it in an attempt to honor the Jedi Code. Her question was too personal and she didn't want to involve herself to such a degree. But Jayden had done a little more thinking and popped a question of his own. "Let me put a spin on your question, if you could be anything other than a Padawan, what would you want to be?"
"That's easy: a Jedi Ace." Ahsoka replied with a smile. Jayden turned to her with a curious look.
"Really? Someone who flies starfighters for a living?" He wondered. Ahsoka nodded.
"Yep! I... enjoy working with ships and getting to fly them. All I need to do is put in a little more practice and score a few more kills and I'll be there in no time." Jayden could tell Ahsoka was passionate about this subject, sensing a sort of love for flying and for mechanics. The Togruta, on the other hand, noticed her rather energetic response and internally berated herself for having slipped so easily into a casual, excited tone.
Such was not how Jedi acted.
"Well, I wish you the best on your endeavor." Jayden cordially responded. "But I thought the 501st was the grounded army?"
"It is," she confirmed, "which makes finding opportunities to fly harder, even if my Master enjoys it just as much. Whenever I get antsy about it, he manages to pull me back in." There she went again. Why did she keep doing that?
Better yet, why was Jayden just so approachable?
Jayden stared at her intently, as if looking into her very soul and it made Ahsoka squirm a little. "Why are you even a Jedi?" He suddenly asked, shocking Ahsoka with the question but she avoided answering and he tilted his head. "You don't know. Why you fight, why you even are a Jedi, these answers elude you. You've been blinded by what others tell you. What they want you to believe... you believe. My Master told me that children with the Force are taken at a very young age, taken from their parents, and brought to the Jedi temple to be trained. Was that what happened to you? You, a child, taken from your home and made to be something you had no choice in? I hate to say it, especially to you, my dear Ahsoka... but you are living a lie."
"No! Stop it!" She cried, desperate to quell the feeling inside of her that sought to agree with him.
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Jayden pressed.
"I joined the Jedi so I could help people!" Ahsoka retorted, looking to him with wide eyes.
"You were a child when Plo Koon took you to the temple, I doubt you had the understanding of how tormented and corrupted this Galaxy is." Jayden replied, his gaze staring a hole into her own. Ahsoka knew her own history to know he was pretty accurate. She had been discovered by Plo Koon when she was just three and had been raised by the Jedi ever since. They were all she knew... and she really didn't have a say in whether she wanted to be a Jedi or not.
But she liked being a Jedi! And that was something Jayden didn't seem to understand.
"W-Well what about you?!" Ahsoka said, trying to get the subject off her and onto him. "Did you make a choice in becoming a Sith? To be Dooku's Apprentice?!"
"Yes." Jayden nodded. "Young as I was, is aw my parents be cut down by the Sith Assassin known as Darth Maul, and all I cared about was getting revenge on him. Then i was found by Dooku, who trained me, made me understand the potential I have as Revan's descendant. Evil and full of hate as the Sith may be, we understand that the Republic is corrupt and hurt people more than protect."
hsoka had heard enough about this issue to have a very concrete stance.
"The Republic doesn't hurt people!" She stated. But then she suddenly remembered other situations and less-recognized circumstances that most people wouldn't be familiar with. She'd been to Coruscant's lower levels with Anakin, seen the squalor and destitution that got worse and worse the further down they travelled. She'd seen hopeless looks on dirty faces, the light gone from people who had come here looking for a new start... only to find themselves even more worse off than they were previously. "At... A-A-At least... not like the Separatists and Sith do..." She hesitantly added, for reasons unknown to her.
"The Separatist were formed because of the Republic's corruption." Jayden responded evenly. "That moment of hesitation just there... you know I'm right. The Republic is not what it once was, it is filled with nothing more than greedy Senators who want to get fat and loaded with money, who want political influence to make this Galaxy worse than it already is. And the Jedi... the so-called peacekeepers have grown fat and lazy in their time, and now they are nothing more than the attack dogs for the Republic in this war. The Jedi are controlling you, Ahsoka."
"They don't control me!" Ahsoka responded.
"Then why do you act on the whim of your so-called 'masters'? Why are your actions tempered by those who are supposedly 'superior' to you?" Jayden fervently asked. "You are what the Jedi want you to be, not what you want yourself to be. That is the difference between you and I, I am who I am because I chose it, not Dooku.
"Would you just stop?!" Ahsoka shouted, standing up. His words were getting to her. She couldn't think straight... it were almost as if Jayden were trying to corrupt her. "It's bad enough I have to put up with condescending masters and overzealous training and warzones and the Urge and the-"
"Wait, what's the Urge?" He calmly asked, genuinely wondering. Ahsoka paused and softened, suddenly realizing she'd mentions a very embarrassing fact about herself that was really quite a private thing. Jayden had a frown before it hit him and his eyes widened. "Oh! I remember! Doesn't that have something to do with your hormone cycles?" Ahsoka felt her face flush.
So he knew about that...
She supposed it was common knowledge and a part of every Togruta's biology as they matured. That didn't mean it was easy to talk about.
"Y-Yeah..." She nervously replied. Jayden nodded in understanding.
"Are... you feeling it right now?" He hesitantly inquired, wondering if there might be some correlation between her attitude and her hormone cycles. Ahsoka gave him a look of raw horror.
"NO!" She shrieked, mortified. "But I do get horny! A lot! And it make everything... so much harder to do because I can't kriffing focus!" Did she just say that out loud? Force almighty! She really needed to take control of her thoughts and how they translated to her mouth.
"Well, that may explain half of the attitude you are displaying." Jayden muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. Puberty was a bitch to go through, he would know.
"Can we... Can we stop talking about this?" A clearly embarrassed Ahsoka stammered, meekly sitting down.
"Yes, of course." Jayden quickly agreed, seeing her adverse reaction to all of this. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. If it makes you feel any better, I don't view you any differently because of this." He apologized. Ahsoka silently nodded in acceptance before they both grew lost in their thoughts, silence falling over them again.
With this new information accidentally revealed, Jayden was slowly putting two and two together. Ahsoka was going through a lot which would likely contribute to her shift in attitude. Maybe hormone-induced mood swings were part of the trouble.
Ahsoka couldn't help but think that Jayden was trying to convert her to the Dark Side..
That was something to be on guard about. He could not be trusted...
Well, things are not going well here.