Third official tissue warning, though I do wish to state that there is no character death of any sort in this chapter LOL. There is a brief mention of suicidal ideation but it is not actively something pursued.
That out of the way: jgvfhl .tumblr post/643591082333143040/more-scenes-from-twin-sons-because-it-is-a - IT IS TIQ! TIQ NOW HAS A PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, I'M SHRIEKING! JGVFHL has been unreasonably nice to me and has been drawing some absolutely beautiful Twin Sons art, and generally has some nice stuff in general, you should check them out, just know though that this mini-comic makes me *WHEEZE*, every single damn time. Anyway, I'm really happy LOL, it's weird because my character process is generally voices first, so I hadn't even really considered what color he was until I was asked, anyway I decided he was gem colored because he IS a gem XD XD
Anyway, anyway, um. Maul gets more hugs. Progress is made. Questions are asked...
Please enjoy the chapter~
And please drop a comment if you're enjoying~ I like to interact with my readers and I make it a point to reply to everyone! Thank you for reading~
Maul was very aware that the technique that he had utilized was likely a Jedi one, and it was an odd realization to realize that this…was what a Jedi would have to do for every emotion, useful or not. Maul brushed a careful mental finger over the string of 'awe' that Tiq had shown him, settling it carefully within him and frowned.
He would see how often that showed up, if it did. Maul rather doubted it, but he did not know.
Tiq had been right, that sunrise was something he was going to see every day for as long as he was in this cell… Maul found his gaze drawn briefly to the window before he turned back to Tiq.
"I am going to call Plo and Eeth to accompany us to get you tested," Tiq said and Maul nodded in agreement. Tiq hesitated then with a sigh, "Lord Maul, are you alright with that collar?"
"Are you alright with the collar?" Maul retorted easily, a brow rising.
"No," Tiq finally answered with a smile, "I am not. I don't like the implications, I don't like…" he rubbed at his eyes for a moment, pinching the scales between them. "Frankly, I'd almost prefer handcuffs."
"No," Maul said, firm and uncompromising, feeling something turn in his stomach. "I don't want to be impeded any more than I have to be, and I do not…I will not be chained like that."
Tiq took that in for a moment before finally inclining his head. "Very well." He hesitated, "Lord Maul…are you truly comfortable with that collar around your neck?"
Maul said nothing for a long moment, before sighing. "There are no options that I like," he said finally. "Ultimately the cuffs restrict my movement but with the collar I at least have the use of my limbs. It is a chain, but it is a chain that is not as restrictive as it could be, and I am willing to accept this for the ability to have full range of motion. I do not wish to be bound more than I care what thoughts may cross another's mind. I am not an animal, and their thoughts do not make me so. I may be collared, but it is my choice, and ultimately it is something that I will let be put on and something that will be taken off. I am…alright with this."
Tiq took this in for a moment before giving a firm nod. "Alright," he said finally, roughly. "You are certain of this?"
Maul frowned for a moment. "I have been trained to kill Jedi for most of my life. I have…changed my Wodza, and I now have other goals, other feelings on the matter, but that does not change the fact that this has been my main mission for about as long as I have been alive." Maul stared at him for a moment, letting that sink in. "I have killed two within your halls, hurt two others severely…I believe it is best for both you and for me that you have me remain bound. This is therefore the method that I would choose above others. Does my reasoning make sense?"
"Yes," Tiq answered and finally heaved a brief sigh. "Yes it does. Your consideration is…admirable and appreciated. I merely…I wish there were other methods. But I can understand how restricting your movement would be…even less appealing."
"Thank you," Maul said then, before his nose wrinkled slightly, "Am I meant to address you as Healer during these talks?"
Tiq smiled at him, "I'm very alright with Tiq, Lord Maul."
Maul inclined his head slowly, thinking. His title had been one that had been won in fear and blood and agony, trailed across his skin, and something scattered across the stars, and dripping from his hands… It had no use here. Not with someone who had been in his literal thoughts, would continue to be in his mind. Tiq was his better in every way when it came to the affairs of his mind and his heart and the emotions encased within. Maul had no knowledge of how to proceed, how to handle the little glimpses of something brighter than he had ever seen… Tiq may not be claiming the title of Healer or Teacher, but that did not mean he was not owed some respect for what he was doing, was…was willing to do.
Maul made his decision.
"Then, here and in this… Maul is acceptable."
Tiq stared at him, his gaze startled, those red eyes shifting slightly as they took him in, and Maul waited patiently for the inevitable…
"Thank you," Tiq said, and smiled, the look warm. "I will be calling Plo and Eeth now, if you would like to continue getting ready."
"Very well," Maul answered with a nod, and he walked over to change. He put on his boots and grabbed his tunic. "Thank you for not making a big deal out of it…" he finally managed quietly, facing the other way.
"Internally I am screaming for joy, I assure you," Tiq answered lightly, "but I will spare you from it."
"Are you meant to do that?"
"Perhaps not, but it's internally. Who is going to know?"
"Me."
"And are you going to tell?"
"That you break Jedi rules?" Maul turned to look at him, giving him as wide a grin as possible, "Yes."
Tiq laughed until he cried, wiping the tears away and then softly, "oh goodness…" he huffed. "Where in the Force has that sense of humor been hiding?"
Maul frowned. "Why would I be joking?"
Tiq was not the only one who laughed, both of the Guards joining in, the three of them howling with it. Maul sighed, putting his tunic on and then his gloves before grabbing his robe. It was not the same one he had come with, the cut distinctly different and Maul missed some of the flashier elements. The sleeves in particular… Either way, it would keep him covered and that was enough.
"Are you quite finished?" Maul finally asked, turning to look at them.
"Yes," Tiq managed, gasping. "Oh… I haven't laughed like that in so long…" he wiped his eyes again.
Maul hummed, pulling the robe on, and waiting expectantly, even though… There was that lingering question… "Are you allowed to hold it?"
Tiq smiled at him. "I am not allowed to hold it, no," Tiq answered. "But I can feel it. Ultimately being able to feel and understand what it is that I am feeling is a very important part of being a Jedi. However, it is knowing how to let it go that is what makes us."
"I see," Maul frowned. "Why do you let them go?"
"Well," Tiq hesitated, "perhaps there is an example to be made in what you yourself have done."
"Perhaps," Maul tilted his head.
"Would you have allowed someone to live that had killed two of your own?"
Maul tilted his head slowly, thinking. Maul had killed two of his own already. Maul had cut out his hearts. Maul said nothing and in his silence, Tiq continued quietly.
"By putting that emotion away, we were able to see beyond our own loss to see you more clearly," Tiq said. "To be a Jedi is to see beyond your own pain, to see beyond your own love. We are meant to let the Force guide us, but that does not mean we do not feel. I have a great deal of pride and even joy in what you do at times…"
"But I make choices," Maul said tilting his head, "and if I make the wrong ones then ultimately you are meant to stop me."
Tiq hesitated before finally, softly, "Yes."
"What an interesting bind you put yourselves in."
"And yet it is something that you directly benefit from."
Maul tilted his head in acknowledgement and softly, his head full of loss and death, "killing me would still probably be easier."
Tiq narrowed his eyes at him slightly, his head tilting, but whatever he had been about to say was interrupted by the appearance of Eeth and Plo. Tiq looked to them and smiled in welcome, before turning back to Maul with an expression that said very firmly 'we will talk later and don't think you can get out of it.'
Maul tipped him his own grin and then turned to the other two.
"Well," Tiq said then, smiling, but hesitated as Eeth approached with that collar. Maul took it when Eeth handed it out and with a grimace clipped it around his own throat.
The feeling of the Force sliding away from him was an ugly one, but it would be over soon. It would not be forever.
Maul took a few deep breaths and then looked to the others.
"Well," Eeth said, "shall we get this over with as quickly as we can in order to get that off as soon as possible?"
"Please," Maul agreed.
"Very well, Maul," Tiq said, "follow us."
There was a pause as Plo and Eeth seemed to realize the lack of his title, the two of them looking at him with something that might have been realization or… Hmm.
Maul tilted his head, "Very well, Tiq."
"You dropped the title?" Plo asked him.
Maul paused for a moment and then looked to him, "Where appropriate. You, I think, can go back to calling me Lord."
Eeth snorted. It was a sudden and ugly sound and he immediately covered his face with his hands, laughing.
Plo just grinned at him, "Very well, my Lord," he said, "after you."
Maul followed Tiq who led the way, Eeth stumbling after them a few beats later, managing to put the laughter aside and breathe it out, coming up to stand next to Tiq while the Guards moved to either side once again, Plo taking up the rear. Maul still felt a bit like he was being escorted to execution.
Maul remembered the test and found his nose wrinkling, pulling the hood over his head.
It might as well be an execution. Maul listened to Tiq promising that he could not fail, that there was no way to disappoint, and took that in as well as he could.
His palms tingled, Maul balled his hands into fists and ignored it.
Tiq watched quietly as Maul set up for the testing from a different room with a transparisteel divider, watching as he placed the headset on and tested the microphone. Maul finished adjusting everything and finally looked towards Tiq and gave a quiet nod.
The headset turned on, and the test began.
"Here we go…" Eeth said quietly next to him. Tiq had known that this test was likely going to be nerve-wracking and his choice in the ones to escort them had been bound by his knowledge that Maul was familiar with the two men next to him the most, which would have hopefully helped him relax. Maul's tendency and ability to joke with them was very important, particularly now when he was obviously so tense. Tiq had done everything he could to make sure that Maul was calm and able to take the test as well as possible, short of not having it entirely, but that would not help any of them ultimately.
In the end, the idea of an electric shock had been so distasteful that Tiq had removed the knowledge of if an answer was right or wrong entirely and hoped that would mean Maul felt safer in his answers.
Maul would get his results afterwards.
The test was organized by category, math, science, the language arts, history and politics, and finally the one that Tiq had added on himself – emotional intelligence.
Tiq had created the category years ago and had updated it consistently mostly as a pet-project, something he worked on when he wanted to see whether or not the Jedi themselves were becoming too distant from the ones that they saved. It was not good to detach themselves totally from the ones that used emotions, that kept them. They needed to be able to recognize them in others so they could work better to help. Obviously, the Force did help with that, but there had been moments when the Force was either lost to them, or the ones involved were good at shielding – not even to keep them away, just naturally. It happened sometimes, and so Tiq had put the test together to help them with just…recognizing it in people.
That and it helped him with his own understanding.
As it was, this was the test that Tiq was partially dreading.
Maul had been raised by an…unknown and a Droid, and from what he had heard he rather figured that that had been it for much of his formative years. Learning that Maul had not been held… His issues with empathy, his complete lack of understanding, the question of mourning…
And then there had been his comment earlier. Tiq did not let comments like that go unremarked upon. He had been a Mind Healer too long and he was very aware of the danger in such 'jokes.' Particularly in someone who had already shown a tendency towards self-harm.
Tiq took a breath, and breathed it out, focusing instead up on the scores that were already coming through and…
Oh.
Oh wow.
Tiq watched with wide eyes as the results came through and… How quickly had Maul said he'd been expected to answer? Thirty seconds?
Well. If Tiq had doubted it before he did not now.
Tiq idly noticed that Plo and Eeth had moved to better watch the results as they flickered past, Eeth leaning up against the wall with his hand over his mouth like he was trying to contain his laughter, and Plo merely standing at almost parade-rest, and Tiq could tell that he was just about beaming.
Tiq honestly didn't blame him, finding his eyes crinkling into a wide smile, amusement pulsing through him as he watched the green 'correct' sign flicker after just about every answer. There were some that were wrong, and marked as such, but there were moments when Maul seemed to pause, clearly visibly thinking for a moment and then he would specify a question he had gotten wrong and correct it.
Eeth had finally started cackling.
"Oh no!" he gasped, "Oh no, we have another one!"
Tiq laughed himself, knowing precisely what he was referring to, as after the language had been switched to Huttese so Anakin could read it, he had blazed his way through this part of the test, too. Not as quickly, and he had not caught his mistakes, but Maul had been at this for obvious years, and it seemed that his Master had just been more thorough.
When it switched to star charts and distances to hyperspace lanes and the computations necessary to do so manually – not truly necessary, but sometimes an important skill, Maul was able to run through them easily, taking the scrap paper they had left him so he could run the computations he needed. Tiq noticed that he seemed to only scribble out partials, but when he gave the answers they were correct.
That…was impressive. What in the Force had his Master been teaching him?
Why?
His questions were irrelevant for the moment, Maul answering the questions with the same level of speed and proficiency. Language Arts was something he was a bit surprised by as Maul seemed to keep relatively quiet, though…his entire grasp on the fundamentals of conversation and linguistics was…very thorough. And then, as expected it switched to Maul's understanding of the classics, and shifted more towards stories and theater, and Maul started fumbling. He kept with it for a while, before finally growing frustrated and shaking his head, making a slicing motion.
Tiq skipped the rest of the section.
"Well," Plo said, amusement radiating from him, "we can certainly work with that. We just help him read more."
"Indeed," Tiq nodded.
Tiq had not been expecting much from politics, and history either, so watched it with a certain level of wariness.
Tiq was…surprised, therefore, when Maul began a very patchwork series of answers that had their gaps, but Maul was a lot more informed than he had thought. The topics jumped all over the place, but what he knew, Maul knew, and he could go into in great detail. This…was also interesting. The gaps were wide, and Maul was sometimes evidently very frustrated about it, but there were sections…
Tiq was beginning to wonder about that Why.
Finally, the test that Tiq had been partially dreading started, and Maul fell silent.
Maul motioned for the question to be skipped…and then the next…he gave a quiet stab at the next one, got a wrong answer and seemed to Know, because he grimaced, and waved a hand. Oh.
Well.
Tiq had expected that. But he had also asked Maul to go through and give him his absolute best guess, to try and see what he could do. But the more it went on without an answer, the more Maul stabbed at something with what had to be an almost frustrated hope… Tiq called the test. It wasn't fair at this point, and it wasn't right. Maul had done so well with almost everything else, Tiq would not let this be the thing that robbed that from him.
Tiq took a deep breath, breathed out the lingering worries and finally entered the testing room, finding Maul taking the headset off with a grimace.
"Decided to put me out of your misery?" Maul asked him and Tiq blinked, paused, and then finally burst out laughing, Plo and Eeth joining him as what he was saying registered with them, and they entered afterwards, smiling.
"I was hoping to take you out of yours," Tiq returned finally, sitting down before him on the open chair, Maul taking a breath and sighing, leaning back. "That was good, Maul," Tiq finally said. "It was about what I expected, and it is not anything that we have to worry about. We will work on it together. However, with that said, I did not expect for the rest of that test!"
Maul hesitated, "Was it…unsatisfactory?"
"Unsatisfactory?" Eeth managed before Tiq could open his mouth, "my Lord Maul, it was incredible!"
Maul blinked.
"You know more about hyperspace lanes and piloting within them than I do, and I have to be at least twice your age," Eeth said, shaking his head.
"Eeth is correct, in a lot of areas you are in the highest percentile," Tiq said. "There are some major gaps in your learning, but they were…not as extensive as I at first believed."
Maul hesitated for a moment before, "that is…good?"
"Yes, absolutely," Tiq smiled. "There…" he hesitated. "Are you still expecting to be punished for wrong answers?"
Maul fell silent.
"There won't be any punishment," Tiq stated firmly and clearly. "You did well. Though…" Tiq sighed. "We…have not asked you something that I feel was perhaps a bit…negligent on our parts."
Maul tilted his head in reply, questioning.
"What precisely were you trained for?"
Maul hesitated for a moment, opening his mouth to answer and then slowly, a sort of aching realization sliding across his face, closed it.
"This, too, then?" Tiq asked him softly. "Your Master's face, his voice…and what he made you do?"
Maul hesitated for a moment, his eyes closing. "I remember…Cog Hive Seven. And I remember destabilizing Black Sun. I remember…many deaths, many lost, I do not…" he hesitated. "I do not remember what it was all for. I do not know."
"You were the one who destabilized Black Sun?" Eeth asked, dropping to sit next to him, staring at Maul with… Frankly, Tiq rather seconded that response, feeling himself sitting up straighter, his mind dancing through possibilities.
It was obvious that his Master did not want them to figure out what Maul had been doing, that his plans were going to be jeopardized, so that… Perhaps, put it more on the idea of the political, on… Upheaval.
But Tiq had no way of knowing, and Maul did not know, and that… Tiq shook his head slowly. To cut so much of his memories but leave all of that knowledge… Tiq could not even properly express his own shock at it. Black Sun had been dangerous, a true Criminal Empire…
Maul had destabilized it. A year ago… Tiq now had more questions. He also had to look up Cog Hive Seven, see what it was… Tiq thought he remembered talks about such, but the Jedi had not gotten involved…
Still. Black Sun was a feat in and of itself. He would do more research later. For now, Tiq had gotten his answers and he was…well. Not pleased, Tiq would have preferred for Maul to know what he had done, to know…frankly anything. But it did not surprise him that Maul just didn't.
His Master had been too thorough, and the one who suffered the consequences for it was Maul, and…of course, whoever Maul had hurt.
But there was nothing they could do about what had been, and doubly so now that Maul did not remember who he had even hurt. The only thing they could focus on was the future and that was what they would do. And then briefly, worriedly,
"Do you remember Naboo? Do you remember how you came to be here?"
"Yes," Maul answered, "I was there to make the Queen sign a treaty with the Trade Federation – to make the blockade around the planet legal."
"Do you know what the overarching goal was?"
Maul paused, his mouth slowly pulling into a grimace and then finally, softly, "No."
"Well," Tiq said then. "That's alright. We will figure something out, Maul. As it is, we will look up Cog Hive Seven." Maul gave a brief grimace but said nothing to the contrary. "Can you describe what you did to Black Sun?"
Maul shrugged roughly, "it was a simple matter of killing the Leader and the ones around him."
"…Perhaps you were mainly trained as an assassin?" Plo offered thoughtfully. "It would go with your main skillset."
"Perhaps," Maul agreed, and Tiq was grateful to Plo. Trying to fill in some of those gaps was so important, and Tiq would work on doing that as well, or at least… He would work on softening those edges.
So much had been torn from Maul, so much… Maul had been close to what was happening.
It was…worrying, particularly as the memories had not been glossed or shifted over, they had simply been stolen, removed entirely.
Unless given back by the one who stole them, they would not come back.
Frankly, Tiq was amazed at how well Maul seemed to be handling his lack, though… Tiq rather thought that Maul knew the emotions that he would be feeling. Tiq thought that he would be working on fortifying them, placing them where they belonged and pinning them in place. Control was a big part of the Sith process, and Maul's will had been Beskar before everything was taken. This was something that he seemed to have applied that will to.
Tiq was both grateful and…not. He was not. It hurt to know how used to having things taken from him Maul seemed to be. It was just his lot in life, his…
Tiq breathed it out. It would do nothing for Maul if he held it.
"You can build something new," Tiq said then, and the others nodded. "You are not…you are not bound by your past, by what you have done. Your choices are what define you, and you now have the opportunity to make some very different choices. You already have made them! You are growing all the time, Maul." Tiq was quiet for a long moment, and the rest were silent, recognizing that he had more to say, and finally, softly, "I do not know precisely what you are feeling. I do not know what it would be like to not have my memories, but I have every faith that you will redefine yourself and have been redefining yourself the entire time. Your Master no longer defines who you are and what your title is, or what your job was. You decide that."
Maul took this in for a moment, his head bowing, so still, before he finally tipped his head in rough agreement.
"Well," Tiq took a breath. "I have the results I wanted. We will begin working on a curriculum for you. You will learn, Maul and we will teach you. Now!" Tiq clapped his hands together and smiled. "Because you've done so well, and it has been a while, would you like to go to the training rooms? It is of course the middle of the day, so we will be taking you through crowded areas, but you need to get used to being around Jedi and they need to get used to you."
Maul stared at him, his eyes wide, shock and… "But I…did not…"
"You did splendidly," Eeth denied. "So, how about it? I have loaned my personal double-bladed practice saber to be utilized if you would like."
Maul focused on Eeth, and Tiq rather thought if he was more prone to showing it he would be jumping for joy. "Yours?"
"Yes," Eeth smiled, "it's not something I utilize in actual combat, but I do find that it is a useful thing to practice with. I have no problem with you utilizing it."
Maul finally inclined his head, "Yes," he said, "please."
"Very well, Lord Maul," Tiq smiled, returning to the title as he was no longer acting as Healer, which he rather thought Maul had meant when he granted him permission. They escorted Maul out again, letting him pull his hood up.
Maul handled everything extremely well, better than Tiq had thought he would. He walked with his head straight-ahead, ignoring everything to the right and left of him, his chin tilted just so. Maul's eyes had a natural luminescence to them even without the Sith backing, which meant when they did shift it was obvious, but there was no confrontation. He did watch, and Tiq rather thought he did tense, but frankly that was expected.
When they finally got to the elevator he put his back to the wall and did not move for a moment. When they settled around him he still did not move but he seemed to relax a bit.
"You did well," Plo said with a smile.
Maul regarded him from the inside of that hood but said nothing.
The doors finally opened, and they were able to return to the training room that Maul had been in before, and he relaxed fully, looking around in interest.
"Warm up first," Eeth said, and walked over to where his practice saber rested. "Then I'll let you use it."
Maul took the hood off and grinned at him, Tiq reaching over to take that collar off.
Maul breathed in and that spark ignited, and he grinned, sliding the robe off onto the floor.
Tiq realized as that very controlled burn started that Maul had not had an opportunity to work with his new Chwûq or Wodza since he finished binding them.
This might be interesting.
He also wasn't surprised when shortly after Maul began running through a warmup that his burning attracted others.
Yaddle was one of the first, followed by Even, neither of whom having watched Maul train before. It did not escape Tiq's notice that Maul seemed to be accustomed to training with an audience, barely acknowledging them past the initial inclination of his head. He ran through stretches and worked himself up towards Force usage, and that burn was…different than Tiq remembered, slower, and yet…almost oilier, somehow. It stuck and seemed to be ready to be stoked into further flame at a moment's notice.
Maul's presence was Dark, Tiq decided, and it had grown stronger, steadier, the flame a steady roar instead of the wildly flickering embers of before. Though, as Maul seemed to pour more into it, they started flickering, though even so it remained a powerful burn, a solid wall of flame instead of the eruption it had been before.
Maul finally reached out with the Force and…
Tiq watched as the pillars were once again realigned, lifting them, and moving them across the room, before he took a brief running start, leaping to one, ricocheting off of it, moving another to use that as another platform, and moving another to catch him. He almost bounced between them, working himself up to a full leaping spin that launched him from one end of the room to the other, for the simple fact that he could do it.
Tiq found himself smiling.
When Maul finally caught himself on the netting and rolled through it, dangling to drop to the ground below with a similar death-defying refusal to catch himself until he was in danger of becoming paste on the ground below, it was with a finality that suggested the warmup was over. Eeth clearly agreed.
That double-bladed saber was tossed, and Maul caught it in one hand.
Tiq had seen the Guards work before, but the opportunity to truly watch them practice was limited as they kept to themselves. This therefore meant that Tiq had little experience with someone who utilized the saberstaff as a primary weapon, but it was obvious as Maul caught it, twirling it in that singular hand for a moment, testing the weight to it, the length, the heft, and finally lowered it down before him…that Tiq was about to watch an expert at work.
Maul fell into an opening stance, an almost salute that once again felt somehow more like a taunt, and then the blades ignited, one after the other, a hand opening behind him, the saberstaff held out in front of him horizontally. Those eyes burned with fire, and Maul moved.
Tiq had not seen Eeth train with the double-bladed saber. As he was not a Council Member generally this room was not one he had utilized, and similarly he had not seen many others work with at as well. Generally, the saberstaff was considered to be a more niche weapon, one that wasn't commonly utilized. There was one in the Order that he was aware of, a Pong Krell, that utilized two, but he had never seen it wielded.
Now that it was in motion it was very clear that Tiq was watching a Master at work and it was beautiful.
Maul started with slow and smooth movements, more to grow used to the blade he was holding, the green blades running through an improvised Shii-Cho kata, only to speed up, to grow more confident, and finally to erupt into the power and ferocity resplendent in Juyo. The burst of flame was tinged with joy, with delight, and yet pierced through with something colder, angrier.
Chwûq was still at the heart of this style it seemed, though Tiq had never felt Maul's Chwûq as anything other than an inferno. It was interesting to think that perhaps Chwûq only burned as hot as it did in comparison to Hate.
Interesting.
Either way as Maul grew more confident with the saber he began maneuvering it around him, twisting and leaping and falling into Ataru with the feeling of someone that just wanted to move, that was just enjoying movement for the sake of it. Understandable, frankly.
It did not take a Mind Healer to see that Maul found Joy in a fight, found Joy in the movements of a saber, and Tiq was grateful, even as a part of him worried. There was more to find joy in than blood, and Tiq hoped that this is not what he ultimately enjoyed. But frankly, Tiq was glad he had something.
To have nothing at all would be too much for anyone, Beskar will or not.
Plo watched Maul move through his katas and sent a brief look towards Tiq, the Mind Healer catching the gentle prod he sent him in the Force, meeting his gaze immediately. Plo drifted his head over towards the other training sabers, and Tiq hesitated, frowning slightly, and looking back to Maul, before tilting his head towards the Droids, and then sliding it back towards Plo.
Excellent.
The training droids that had already grown familiar with Maul engaged, coming to attention, taking their steps forward, training sabers buzzing, and Maul turned to mark them, his hold on the saberstaff adjusting.
The Droids circled him, spinning their two sabers, ready, almost taunting, and Maul grinned wide, before suddenly snapping out towards one of them with a full lunging thrust, sliding the blades from one side of his body to the other and when they went to block, continued his forward momentum, leaping into a cartwheel that ultimately blocked each retaliating slice, and upon landing behind it, managed to drive his blade straight through its back, pulling his saber out and dropping into an opening stance facing the other.
Well.
If there was any doubt that the saberstaff was the one Maul had spent the most time perfecting, that was gone.
The remaining Droid put up a longer and much better fight, forcing Maul to give ground, to actively defend, spinning into and out of attacks, and once again utilizing more of his body. Plo had seen Maul utilize Juyo, and Jar'Kai to impressive success… He was surprised therefore to see Maul using Niman.
Niman was something he had not expected at all as the form had none of the high-powered attacks, none of the focus on aggression, and ultimately was more balanced, with heavy utilization of the Force. It was also considered to be more of a Jedi standard – sometimes called the Diplomat form. But Maul once again utilized it like he'd been born for it. There was still, though, moments when Maul's fire seemed to flicker out of control, that he relied too strongly on hate.
Plo wondered about that, whether that would fade, and his aggression would come under control as Maul grew more used to his Chwûq – which Plo knew had become much stronger than it ever had been, or if it would be something of a handicap for the rest of his training. That…was frankly not something he liked. And he was beginning to think it really had been put there on purpose – a cowardly Master not seeing the true loyalty that Maul had been willing to give him removing his ability to kill him, and similarly jeopardizing Maul's ability to operate at a successful level.
But the only way Plo could prove that was to actively duel him… And frankly Plo was more than tempted, he rather thought he was going to do it. He would see whether fighting him would cause Maul to shift away from that hate - if it was even possible. Because he rather thought that Maul bore no hate towards him, and more importantly, Tiq had agreed.
Tiq agreeing suggested that he thought there was no reason for concern, or at least trusted in them to both be professional, and for their own ability to catch any slips, and Plo had known that Maul had been interested in a duel for a long time. At this point he rather thought there was no reason not to oblige.
Plo had been curious himself.
Maul finally cut down the Droid, and Plo immediately utilized the Force, sliding them both out of the way from the training mats, calling a training saber to his hand and igniting it, falling into the opening stance to Ataru.
Maul took this in for a moment, Sith eyes flickering across him, surprise, and shock, and then a wide grin slowly pulled across his face, and he shifted his own stance… Juyo.
Plo rather thought this would be fun. But Plo watched as Maul's expression faded and he hesitated, his blades lowering.
"I do not…duel," he said finally, "it's never been about surrender, I was trained to fight for my life."
Plo took this in for a moment and finally inclined his head. "As well as you can," he said, "if it is becoming too much we will call a halt. Do you believe you can stop?"
Maul hesitated, shifting his stance before finally raising that saberstaff once more, and his gaze burned. "I will stop."
Plo took a breath, watched as Maul lowered himself further into position…
And Plo surrendered to the Force.
Eeth watched with a feeling of bated breath as Plo leapt into attack. Maul backed away, catching the blade and spinning through it and Eeth knew that his saberstaff had never been more expertly handled. He watched as the two of them clashed, felt Maul's heat roar against Plo's cool calm, rising up in flickers of rage and hate, only to be suffocated again a beat after it happened.
The two of them worked each other back and forth across the mats, the ferocity of Juyo meeting the aggression of Ataru, neither one of them letting up, always ready to take whatever avenue the other left, and Eeth was rather surprised to see how often Maul kicked out.
He used his body as much as he did his blade, pushing Plo back, knocking him away with fist, foot, and blade… The ferocity the form was known for came out in sudden and sharp bursts of violence, and Plo caught and matched it. Plo was considered one of the best duelists in the Order, and while Maul was skilled… Plo was definitely better.
Plo was sent leaping back from twists and corkscrews and then, once he had decided he had enough of a handle on him, Plo began chipping away at those weaknesses and unleashed his own series of attacks.
Maul still had a tendency to overextend, to let himself pursue where he should have retreated, and Plo was very good at pointing those moments out to him.
The problem was, and it was as Maul had said… Maul had not ever been trained to duel, and he seemed to have been trained in a way where the consistent little breaks of his guard and the easy slide through would have likely been much worse than the slight threat of burning that Plo's own saber gave. The closer that Plo got to defeating him the more Maul seemed to retreat naturally into Chwûq, and the more he did that…
Eeth saw the explosion coming, and Plo did, too, immediately shifting to really defend, to really pull back, actively retreating from the inferno of HATE that Maul seemed to rage into, and Eeth was moving his hands up, ready to interfere, as Maul managed to send Plo's blade to the side and spun right around into a kick that was aiming directly towards Plo's rebreather…
Eeth was not the only one that shouted out "NO," was not the only one that reached… But Eeth could see the moment Maul gained control, the moment he stopped before they even managed to grab him with the Force and pull him back, before Plo had even managed to properly block – and he would have, and it would have been fine, but that was not quite enough for Maul, who surrendered to the pull of the Force that jerked him back, letting himself be dropped to the mat.
Maul had dropped the saberstaff and lay there on his back, unmoving, breathing hard, almost gasping oxygen in, his hands on his horns and pulling, pulling…
Tiq walked forward immediately, looking a bit like he was about to…
And then Plo softly cleared his throat, Tiq hesitating, his gaze shooting towards him immediately… Maul still lay there unmoving, but when Plo walked forward, disengaging his lightsaber and holding out his hand, he finally looked up to him.
"Well, my Lord," Plo said softly, his voice so gentle, his expression so warm, "I believe we might have to find an alternative to dueling… At least until you can learn how to keep all of that contained."
Maul hesitated for a moment, taking in that hand, taking in that warmth, taking him in, and finally, softly. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't…I wouldn't have…"
"I know," Plo smiled, "I would have stopped you. And I did see you stop yourself. You made good on your word."
Maul stared at that hand and his expression twisted slowly. "I do not hate you."
"I know, my Lord," Plo's smile turned gentle. "It is alright. You have a way that you have been trained and it takes a while to unlearn such things. But I do believe that you do have to unlearn it. You were doing much better before you began giving into it."
Maul frowned slightly. "I do not know…how."
"You hold onto other emotions before you actively fight," Plo pointed out, "perhaps there is a way to find a way to have the two meet. I may have an idea, would you let me pull you up?"
Maul hesitated and then finally took that hand, and Plo pulled him up to his feet, Maul standing there for a moment, hesitating, looking perhaps a bit like… Oh, please let it be…
"Come here," Plo soothed softly, and pulled Maul close, the other man actively leaning into the hold. Eeth did not hear what Plo said, but he was good enough to walk over to Tiq, taking a breath and letting it out.
Maul needed more hugs like that, and frankly it was a good way to expel the heat, Eeth noticed, Maul cooling a good deal faster than he had before, the lingering flicks of fire slowly dying out until it rumbled at the usual level.
"Alright," Plo said then, and Eeth turned his attention back. "Let's try something else."
Even felt the last reservations fall away when Maul obviously hesitated, unsure how to ask for the hug that he apparently dearly wanted, turning his attention to Yaddle, who smiled at him, all of them allowing them a momentary bit of privacy. It had been a mistake, Maul had lost control in a way he warned might happen, and ultimately had regained control before he had hurt. It was good enough for Even.
Yaddle hummed quietly and Even turned his attention to her, listening to the soft whisper that the others would not hear, the quiet, "proud of his growth, I am."
Even inclined his head in brief agreement and turned his attention to Tiq, who looked a bit ruffled, but was in the process of breathing out. Tiq had agreed it would be okay, but they all made mistakes, and Tiq had been one of the first to catch when Maul went too far, him having reached out the quickest.
Tiq turned his attention to the two of them and walked over finally, rubbing at his eyes.
"Stopped he did," Yaddle noted, gently, and Tiq paused, before smiling at her.
"He did," Tiq agreed. Eeth approached last and smiled at them.
"So," Eeth said then, "what do you think Plo is going to try?"
Yaddle laughed quietly, "Who can say," she said, waving a hand. "Find out we will."
Plo finally backed away and Maul stepped away as well, calling the saberstaff back to him after Plo indicated he take it, hesitating for a moment before finally igniting it.
"Alright," Plo said, "I do not wish for you to catch my saber with your own," he said. "What you are going to do is attempt to get away physically. We will still swing, the goal will still be to connect to the other, but what you need to do is instead of retaliating with a parry or a repost – you are going to move. For example, if I swing like this," he swung his sword diagonally, "you will move…" Maul hesitated, before leaning back, balancing precariously as the saber continued its diagonal movement, gliding down his body without making contact, and Plo laughed, "Very well, and then you move to hit me…"
Maul frowned before sliding his own blade in a low sweep, Plo leaping over it and back.
"And I would…" Plo made a lunging thrust that Maul fell under, sweeping his saber up and causing Plo to lean back, and duck under, spinning the blade down and Maul leapt up and forward, stabbing out, which led to Plo spinning beside him and sending the saber to his back, Maul bowing forward and coming around with a kick, Plo spinning around it and giving his own.
And the more they moved the more confident they got, this rule of no contact changing the goal just enough that Maul seemed to drift from his Chwûq entirely, and as he drifted away, as he focused on movement, as he focused on the…
"It's a dance…" Tiq whispered, "they're dancing."
And Even could see it, could see the way the two of them almost twirled around each other, sliding into and out of actual forms, the goal focused entirely on movement, on the dance, and that was where Maul really began to shine.
Because it was obvious that the thing that Maul loved the most was movement, and the excuse to do it without threat, without real attempt to hurt or to kill, that showed just how potent his skill truly was, and it was beautiful.
There was no overextension, no reaching, no allowing himself to be baited… And as Maul fell further into it, as it became understood what that body could do, it became increasingly obvious that his Master had been training him wrong, because Maul was a well-honed weapon, and when given the chance to use his body as it should be, without the interference of those eruptions of fire…
Maul was obviously deadly.
And if it weren't for the way that Maul reveled in that movement, if it weren't for the way that he rejoiced… Maul would have made one impressive Jedi.
As it was, he would make one impressive Sith.
The irony of the fact that they seemed to be training him how to be a better one was not lost to him.
Even found himself grinning.
Things had gotten weird after Anakin intervened…but he couldn't say he disliked the changes. Maul was not the only one learning and growing.
The Council was doing much of that itself.
When they finally came to a halt, Maul gave a bow to Plo, who returned it, and there was a brief smile.
The collar had to be returned, and they had to bring him back to his cell, but nonetheless, there had been progress made today.
It was only as he looked to Tiq that Even thought that there might be more yet to be made.
Maul allowed himself to be collared, finding himself buzzing internally, and that buzz continued even as he felt the Force slip away.
That had been…enjoyable, something he'd never tried before, and yet had found pushed his skill and similarly gave him the opportunity to focus in a way he was…unused to. Maul did not understand.
Maul had recognized in the fight with Plo how much he tended to overextend, how easy it sometimes was for Plo to tag him and… There had been an eruption, he had not been expecting it, and it had nearly overtaken him… But Maul had promised, and so Maul had stopped, even when…
There was a part of him that still quailed at the realization he had been once again going for that mask. He knew that Plo was going to block the blow, that the others had been quick to stop him, and even that Maul himself had stopped… But… But.
Plo holding him close, letting him feel that he still breathed, that he was still alive and…
"You didn't hurt me," Plo had told him, "do not use that slip to hurt yourself."
Maul had not known exactly what that meant, but he had allowed himself to be held until he had steadied, and then he had pulled away and… Been allowed to try something new.
Maul had enjoyed that with everything in him, had barely heard Tiq's quiet declaration that it was dancing and… Maul thought it might qualify. Either way, it had come with a clarity he wanted, he needed. If he could find a way to marry that with his own ferocity then he could be so much more than what he was…
Why had he not been taught how to do that? Why had his Master focused so strongly on his Chwûq when he had pushed Plo to further extremes than he ever had in the initial fight when not even aiming to win when he had just…grazed it. Had let it underly everything, but did not focus it, had drawn upon it but not aimed it…
Maul did not know, and he was growing more and more frustrated with how everything seemed to have been designed to cripple him.
But Maul had been…he had been…
Maul was aware he was getting frustrated. Maul was aware that he hated. When they finally returned him to his cell, Maul was aware that he burned.
Tiq blinked at him looking a bit surprised at the sudden wash of the feeling when he finally took the collar off.
"Apologies," Maul said. "It is not towards you."
"No, I suppose it wouldn't be…" Tiq sighed and the others slowly bowed and left, Plo making a promise to bring back his food for lunch. Maul had not been aware that it had taken so much time already. Tiq was quiet for a moment, before gesturing towards the floor in a sort of 'shall we' gesture, and sunk to the ground, Maul following after. "Would you like to meditate for a moment? I understand that that's meant to go after exercise, and then stretching you said, correct?"
Maul hesitated and finally sighed, dipping his head.
"I will join you if you do not mind," Tiq said, "though perhaps I will keep my distance." He smiled and shifted away, heading to the farthest corner, before Tiq hesitated and looked at him. "Maul," he said then, thoughtfully, "would you like to try and meditate on something other than rage?"
Maul blinked, frowning slightly, and then slowly shifted through his memories until he found that… Warmth, that feeling that burned whenever Plo pulled him close and hugged him… Maul focused on that for a moment, testing it for integrity, seeing how well it could hold up. Finally, when he thought it might actually be workable, he closed his eyes, and dove into it.
It was…strange, very different to anything he had ever done, warmth without pain, strength without resistance… It burned within him, and he burned with it, and it was…
Good.
He also found that the lingering resentment towards his Master had shifted, fading.
Something else was happening. Maul was finding his gaps and he was working on closing them.
Maul would get better, and they…they were helping him.
Maul finally released the emotion and found himself feeling almost…light.
It was a strange thing.
Maul was not sure if he liked it.
Tiq though rather looked like he was beaming, "How do you feel?"
"Odd," Maul answered honestly and Tiq laughed, though there was a…perhaps bitterness to it.
"I would expect so," Tiq answered finally. "Do you think you could utilize it to grow stronger?"
Maul frowned, thought of strength without resistance and wondered slightly. "I do not know," he said finally. "I would have to work with it, but I am not sure yet how to, or where its limits are."
"Understandable," Tiq said finally and then sighed. "Maul…" he said gently, and Maul went to attention, staring at him directly. "When you spoke on how it would be easier to just kill you…"
Maul frowned slightly. "It would have been. I was at your mercy. You could have killed me, and it would have spared the lives of ten Guards," he said roughly. "Two died to my hand…"
"And eight your Master, yes," Tiq said and his mouth pulled into a frown. "Do you wish we had killed you?"
Maul blinked, a bit alarmed at the question. "I…" he hesitated, not sure what the answer should be, what he… Maul had caused them pain, had he not? Was that then the answer, that yes, in order to spare them further pain? But Maul did not want to cause pain anymore, did that count for something or was it nothing?
"Maul," Tiq said, and his gaze was unwavering, pupiless eyes staring into his so sharply…
"No," Maul finally said, for it was truth. He did not…Maul did not want to die. He did not want to give this up. He did not want to stop learning and he… Maul thought of those Guards and softly, he let the words slip:
"They tried to protect me from my Master."
"Who did?" Tiq asked.
"The Guards. One of…" Maul swallowed. "One of them called me little cousin…he said that his place was protecting me, that their place was between me and him. I told them to run…they did not…they all died. Why would he call me little cousin? I do not understand… I do not even know his name…"
"Tabak," one of the Guards said then, her voice heavy and so… Maul had the sudden realization that she was crying. "His name was Tabak. He was a Zabrak that had been one of the first to volunteer to Guard you after you killed two of ours. He was…rather fond of you. Even after what you had done, he saw you and knew that more than condemnation, more than destruction, what you needed was someone to protect you, someone to stand up for you for once. He knew that what you needed was for someone to care. We see and we hear everything Lord Maul," her voice was gentle, and it was soft, "and we know that he was right."
Maul was quiet for a long moment, staring at them. "I do not understand," he whispered finally.
"And that is why, Lord Maul," the other Guard said so softly, "we know that he was right."
Maul held so still for a moment, taking this in, and then softly, "His name was Tabak?"
"Yes," the first Guard said gently, "your Cousin's name was Tabak."
Maul was quiet once again, taking in the familial term, the bond that tied him to a man who was long dead. The feeling he had gained before from his meditation was fading, the oddness falling away and crumbling under something that he knew, something that he was familiar with. A type of pain that stabbed up under his ribs, that he clung to and picked at.
"Mourning is in reaction to a loss," Maul whispered softly.
"Yes," Tiq said, meeting his gaze for a moment. "It is a type of pain, of grief…"
Maul slowly nodded his head.
"I understand." Maul was quiet for a longer moment. "Am I allowed?" and the question was soft and unsure and hurt somewhere deep in his chest.
"To mourn?" Tiq asked him.
"I do not…if he…it was my fault that my Master was even…"
"No, no," the Guard said then, and the ray shield had dropped, and they were walking forward and their saberstaffs were placed before them as they lowered themselves to their knees on either side of Tiq. "Listen," she said, and her voice was so firm, "Tabak and those Guards made their choices, and your Master made his own. You, from what I recall, were tortured, and had your mind split into shreds. There was no way you forced Tabak to stand before you, and similarly you did not force any of the Guards. And I am rather certain you did not force your Master to pour so much lightning into you your nerves were literally shorting. We know how many bacta infusions it took before you steadied. We know how you fell into a fugue for three months. Your Master stole so much from you…and if Tabak knew that he was what caused you to realize just what he was taking from you He Would Be Proud."
"And you, Maul, are allowed to mourn the vast number of things that your Master has taken from you, and you should…including your ability to know the one who called you family. Tabak wanted to talk to you, he wanted to be able to do what we do now, and it is something that you will never know, and something he will never be able to do. You will never get to know him, and it is therefore something stolen…and it is therefore something that you are allowed to mourn."
Maul took this in for a long moment and softly, "You mourn the others."
"We do."
"You mourn the ones that I killed."
"We have."
Maul nodded slowly. "I can use this pain inside of me," he said softly. "I can use it for something else, to do something else…this is not something you can do."
"No," came the soft agreement. "For us…pain is something that lingers, that we meditate upon, and then we let go. It is something that we must let go of. And this letting go can allow us to sit here before you…and still want you to be well."
Maul took this in for a long time, nodding slowly, and then finally, quietly, "I am sorry…for what I took from you." Maul swallowed. "For what I took from them."
"For our parts, Lord Maul," the Guards spoke as one, gentle and soft, "we forgive you."
And Maul did…not understand…
But he understood more than he had.
Perhaps that was worth something.
And perhaps it was not.
Maul did not understand.
But he did not resist when one of the Guards opened her arms to him, and when the other folded herself against him as well, the two of them holding him so tight and so warm, the thing in his chest stabbing somewhere deep… Maul thought that perhaps…this was not…so bad…
And when they finally let go Maul found himself sitting there quietly, the two Guards standing as one, taking up their positions with their saberstaffs once again held before them, the ray shield closing up behind them as though it had never been lowered… But they held those blades horizontally and not vertically, and when Maul looked to Tiq…
Tiq looked like he was crying, and he brushed a tear away, before smiling at him.
"I have forgiven you as well," Tiq said softly. "And that forgiveness lingers, regardless of what we find that you have done, whatever your past… For me, you are forgiven, and I will continue to do my best to help you understand."
Maul slowly inclined his head.
Tiq sighed, shifting, and Maul felt something fleeting and soft, before slowly, carefully, he opened his own arms, and let Tiq hold him.
And thought with a slowly growing dread, of the possibility of his Master coming back somehow…
And taking something more.
They said he was dead, and Maul recalled in a vague, empty sort of way the feeling of that broken ship, recalled his Master's presence all over it…
But…
Maul closed his eyes.
That fear would not let go.
So, Maul would just have to use it. Maul needed to get stronger. Maul needed to…he needed to learn.
He needed to protect what was his.