Author's Note: Okay, so this one-shot is obviously inspired by Tuffnut's attempts to turn Hiccup into "marriage material" in HTTYD: THW and "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from "Mulan." If you haven't seen the movie or at least listened to "I'll Make a Man Out of You"...go and listen to it. And watch the movie. It's amazing. =)

Helllooooooooooooooooooo, dragonites! (That's the official name for HTTYD fans, and I haven't used it until now...oops). Welcome back to the one-shot collection that starts with "Sticks" and ends with "Stones!" =D I can't believe this one-shot collection is almost sixty chapters long now (well, on here. I'm already past the sixty-chapter mark in the "Sticks and Stones" Google Doc X)). I know I've said this before, but I STILL feel like I posted this collection yesterday...if January was yesterday that is. X)

Anyway, down below is "Be a Man!" So, I hope you guys enjoy it! =D

Summary: Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut think that Hiccup isn't manly enough for Astrid. So, they try to build him into a "better" one. (Post HTTYD 2.)

Be a Man!

Hiccup never found himself wondering if he was good enough for Astrid. She had told him so many times that she loved him, and that she wouldn't pick anyone else to be her beloved betrothed, which always made Hiccup's heart swell. Astrid thought that he was perfect just the way he was. Something that Hiccup needed to hear after being told for so long that he was useless and unworthy of being a viking.

But now that Hiccup was the Chief of Berk, everyone looked up to him and respected him. Well, almost everyone if you excluded Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut, who were being extremely irritating as Hiccup was hunched over a pile of papers at an empty table in the Great Hall, trying to read through them all while they were busy making noise and arguing extremely loudly about something that Hiccup couldn't comprehend, which was probably because he wasn't even trying to understand what they were arguing about. All he wanted was for them to be quiet.

Ruffnut gasped loudly, and that was the last straw for Hiccup. He turned around and snapped, "Can you guys please be quiet?!"

Tuffnut shook his head. "Gee, H. Didn't mean to get you all worked up."

"We're being as quiet as we can," said Ruffnut. "But what we're talking about is pretty interesting, so we kind of have to be loud."

Hiccup crossed his arms. "And what's so interesting that you have to be so noisy about it?"

"You," answered Snotlout. Hiccup's eyebrows raised.

"Me?" he said in surprise. "What about me?"

Tuffnut walked over to Hiccup and sat by his side. "How can I put this lightly…You're not manly enough."

"I-I'm not what?" asked Hiccup.

"Manly enough," repeated Ruffnut. She plopped next to Hiccup. "We don't think you're manly enough for Astrid."

"Wh-What?" spluttered Hiccup.

"You heard her, cousin," Snotlout said as he walked up to the three. "If Ruffnut says you're not manly enough for Astrid, she's right. She's always right."

Ruffnut smiled. "Aww, thanks Snotlout." Then she frowned. "But I still don't like you."

Snotlout pouted. "Aw, come on!"

Tuffnut shook his head and turned back to Hiccup, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Here's the thing, Hiccup. We've been watching you and Astrid since the day you became an official couple, and we noticed a few things that desperately—oh, Thor—desperately need to be changed."

Hiccup shook Tuffnut's arm off his shoulders. "Guys, Astrid likes me just the way I am."

Snotlout laughed. "That's what she wants you to think, Hiccup. Astrid…she's a valkyrie. Of course she would say you're fine just the way you are; she doesn't want to make you feel bad."

"Huh?" said Hiccup in bemusement.

"What he's trying to say is this," Tuffnut stood up and cleared his throat like a professional, and he began to pace in front of Hiccup. "Astrid…she's a warrior. A warrior queen might I add. She knows every battle move in the book, was practically born with her axe, and she's smart. Really smart. Smarter than Ruffnut."

Ruffnut nodded, but then she gasped and stood up, offended. "Hey!"

"You know it's true, sister," said Tuffnut. He geared back on topic. "Now, compared to Astrid's impeccable fighting skills, master Dragon Riding abilities, and amazing looks, what do you have to offer her?"

Hiccup blinked his bright green eyes. "Ahh…I'm not sure where you're going."

"I got this," said Snotlout. He pushed Tuffnut out of the way and pointed at Hiccup. "Astrid's got the voice of a goddess while you have the voice of a honking goose. She has the build of a warrior while you look like the equivalent of a twig. Astrid is obviously the superior one in the Hiccstrid relationship."

Hiccup only blinked.

"Which brings us back to what we originally said," Ruffnut said. "You're not manly enough for Astrid."

Snotlout and Tuffnut nodded while Hiccup sat in complete and utter bemusement. He knew that Astrid loved him just the way he was, but after hearing what Snotlout and Tuffnut said, maybe he didn't offer Astrid much. Sure, he could make anything that came to his mind, tamed a Night Fury, and was the Chief of Berk, but he wasn't always great. Unlike Astrid, who was amazing since the day she was born, Hiccup had to work for his greatness while Astrid had been great for pretty much all of her life.

Maybe they're a little right in some sense… thought Hiccup. Hiccup looked up at Snotlout, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut. He knew that they weren't going to leave him alone unless he let them "help" him.

Hiccup sighed. "Okay…what do you guys want me to do?"

Tuffnut rubbed his hands together. "Oh, you're gonna love what we have in store for you, Hiccup. We're going to build you into a better man."

…

Hiccup, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snotlout were standing inside of the Dragon Training Academy. Hiccup was sitting on a barrel while Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut were standing in front of him with a chalkboard sitting behind them.

"First things first," said Tuffnut. He scribbled something on the board and stepped back, waiting for Hiccup to read it out loud.

Hiccup's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Walking lessons?"

"Yes!" shouted Tuffnut. "Walking lessons. You need them desperately."

Ruffnut nodded. "I couldn't agree more."

"You need to lose the limp, and stand up straight," said Tuffnut.

"Guys…I have a prosthetic leg," Hiccup said with a deadpan expression.

"Which is why we're going to teach you how to walk," said Snotlout. "Stand up."

Hiccup stood, but he honestly didn't feel like doing what his cousin and the twins wanted him to do; the whole thing seemed ridiculous to him. For the next twenty minutes, the twins and Snotlout spent their time trying to get Hiccup to "walk like a man," which Hiccup found extremely uncomfortable. He had to hold his chin up high, almost to the point where he was looking up at the sky, keep his back deathly straight, and try to even out his steps, which was rather difficult to do with a metal leg. Tuffnut continuously stated that Hiccup wasn't walking right, and there were times Ruffnut said that he was walking right. The twins argued and argued while Snotlout heatedly said that they were both incorrect.

Hiccup intervened. "How about I just walk the way I usually walk?"

"NO!" Snotlout, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut shouted in unison. Hiccup frowned. This was definitely going to take a lot longer than he wanted.

After finally satisfying Snotlout, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut with a proper "man walk," they moved onto the next lesson, which Hiccup found even more scandalous than the walking one.

"You want me…to change my voice?" asked Hiccup in disbelief.

Tuffnut nodded. "Yup. It's easy too. Watch." He cleared his throat and turned to Ruffnut, his voice an octave lower than usual. "Hello, Ruffnut. I am Sir Tuffnut. How are you doing today?"

Ruffnut spoke in a voice that was an octave higher than her usual one, which Hiccup thought was way too pitchy. "Why, I'm doing splendid, Sir Tuffnut. I can't say much about Hiccup, though. He's doing terribly."

"Hey!" exclaimed Hiccup. Snotlout laughed loudly.

Tuffnut turned to Hiccup and gestured to him. "Now you try. Make your voice more…more bold."

"More manly," encouraged Ruffnut. "Besides, you've done it before."

And she wasn't wrong there. Hiccup had imitated his father more than once, and he never had much trouble imitating voices. Still, changing his voice into one that sounded more "manly" wasn't something he found amusing.

"I don't think I need to change my voice to be honest," said Hiccup. "I mean, Astrid won't even know it's me!"

"Yes, she will," said Tuffnut. "You're still wearing the same clothes, same face…same everything except for your walk and voice."

"Oh, gods…" mumbled Hiccup. He cleared his throat and changed his voice to one that was deeper and—according to the twins—more manly. "How's this?"

Ruffnut's eyes widened. "Whoa, Hiccup. I never knew you could make your voice so…so deep."

"He doesn't even sound like himself," said Tuffnut in surprise.

Snotlout rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Hiccup sounds like a man, but not as manly as me."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. Would his cousin ever change?

After half an hour of more useless lessons on walking, talking, and even acting around Astrid, the twins and Snotlout eventually deemed Hiccup ready to show his new self off to Astrid. Hiccup walked through Berk, occasionally looking behind him to see if Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut were still following him. The three insisted that he go and use what they had taught him in front of Astrid, but that was the last thing Hiccup wanted to do. So, they were following him to see if Hiccup would actually go to Astrid and display his new "manliness."

Hiccup gulped when he spotted Astrid; she was waiting by the forge for him. Hiccup had promised to spend some time with Astrid after he was finished working, but he didn't get everything he wanted to get done due to the twins and Snotlout dragging him out to learn how to be a man. Hiccup rolled his eyes; he should have never asked what the twins and Snotlout were talking about back in the Great Hall.

The young chief walked up to Astrid, and when the blonde spotted him, she smiled. Hiccup felt his heart flutter; he loved Astrid's smile. It always made him feel comforted and happy. Astrid walked up to him with her axe swinging at her side, and Hiccup was glad that Astrid was the one who walked first and filled the gap between them. He didn't want to do that ridiculous walk that the twins and Snotlout had taught him back at the Academy. Hiccup could imagine their disapproving faces from behind him.

"Hey, Hiccup!" Astrid greeted. "How was cheifting?"

"Ehh, it was—" Hiccup cut himself off. He was talking in his "honking goose" voice. HIccup cleared his throat and said in a much deeper voice, "It was fine."

Astrid blinked. "Whoa, what's with the deep voice?"

"Ah…I just wanted to try speaking differently?" he said, although it sounded more like a question. Astrid furrowed her brow and cocked her head.

"Okay…" she said. "Anyway, for our little outing, I was thinking we could take a walk through Raven Point."

Oh no.

"Um, ah, y-yeah! We can do that," said Hiccup. Astrid blinked, still a little confused by Hiccup's change in voice. She slipped her hand into his and the two began to walk to Raven Point. Hiccup kept his chin held high and his steps even, stumbling every few steps. Astrid was even more bemused.

"Hiccup, what's going on?" Astrid asked. She stopped walking and faced him. "You're acting weird."

"W-Weird? How weird?" asked Hiccup.

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Really weird. You're talking weird, walking weird…what's going on with you?"

"I…" Hiccup sighed. "I'm…trying to give you what you deserve."

"What I deserve?" repeated Astrid.

"Y-Yeah," said Hiccup. "You're a warrior, fighter, and amazing in every way and I'm…" Hiccup sighed. "I'm a stick with a goose voice."

"A stick with a—Hiccup, you're not a stick with a goose voice," said Astrid.

"Then what am I?" asked Hiccup.

Astrid placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "You're a kind, brave, wonderful chief and boyfriend. You may not be like most vikings, but that's what I love about you. You're different, and you should be proud of that."

Hiccup looked up at Astrid, his green eyes sparkling. "Really?"

Astrid nodded with a smile. "Really." She placed a quick kiss on Hiccup's cheek.

"Aw, come on!" exclaimed Ruffnut. Astrid and Hiccup looked up and saw Snotlout and the twins walk out of their hiding places. Ruffnut marched up to Astrid. "We spent all day making a man out of Hiccup, and now you ruined it!"

"Wait, what?" said Astrid. She looked at Hiccup, and then at the twins and Snotlout. "You guys tried to make Hiccup into a man?"

"A better man," said Tuffnut as he crossed his arms. "And you took away all of our hard work."

Snotlout shook his head. "You just have to mess everything up, Astrid."

Astrid turned to Hiccup, a questioning expression on her face. Hiccup rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously.

"Yeah…I'll fill you in later," he said. "Now, how about that walk?"

Author's Note: Yes, yes, Hiccup is perfect just the way he is. I wouldn't change a thing about him. =)

I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot, and I'll see you in the next one! =D

Until the next chapter!

-BeyondTheMoo1203