Lamentations of a Starry-Eyed Twit

Confessions of Auriga Sinistra

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you to everyone who's reviewed!

All of the Sinistra astrological information is 100% true, quite niftily (See? They are written in the stars), and was found at the website below:

http://www.winshop.com.au/annew/Ophiuchus.html

-Part Four-

Friday, September 6, 1991

Bedroom Quarters

1:35 P.M.

Was just wandering aimlessly around the corridors of Hogwarts, being hopelessly bored and cursing the fact that I'm the only professor with a lesson schedule that no one (except perhaps certain nocturnal mammals) could even begin to appreciate, when a sobbing second-year Ravenclaw burst out of the Potions classroom in complete hysterics.

Honestly, that bastard of an overgrown bat is evil.

Attempted to comfort aforementioned Ravenclaw. Unfortunately, she replied with something along the lines of, "He's such a philistine! He can't even properly instruct me on the chemical brewing of a simple Deflating Draught! He can't possibly comprehend how this is germane to the situation! I loathe the innumerable antagonistic aspects of his character!!!"

Needless to say, I didn't quite catch any of it. But I did catch the general statement which was, I believe, that Snape is a bastard. Which, naturally, I know very well and have witnessed first-hand countless times.

Still, it is a bit degrading to know that a second-year Ravenclaw is smarter than you.

I was even in Ravenclaw, and God knows I couldn't talk like that when I was twelve.

Kids these days.

1:35 P.M.

Note to self:

Look up 'philistine' and 'germane'.

....I should know that.

1:37 P.M.

By the way, Severus Snape still isn't in any way attractive.

Just thought you'd like to know.

3:42 P.M.

Astronomy Tower

Have continued trekking through the school in an attempt to soothe my incredibly bored soul (and perhaps lose a pound or two. Always nice). Just passed the first year Gryffindors during passing period. Hermione Granger was lecturing Ron Weasley about something or other...all I heard was, "But really, Ron, if you want to truly enrich your mind, you can't discuss trivial matters in the middle of Professor McGonagall's lesson! You're robbing yourself of your own potential knowledge; not to mention that it's incredibly rude and-"

At this, he cut her off with, "Do you ever shut up, you know-it-all twit?"

All of the other Gryffindor boys snickered at this, and the poor thing looked a little taken aback for a split-second before making a haughty 'humph!' sort of noise, spinning around, and stomping off with her nose in the air.

Ron (snarky little brat) then proceeded to complain to his friends about how she was so incredibly unbearable, and he was surprised her head wasn't going to explode from excess knowledge or something of the like. "She thinks she's so much better than us. Really, she's just bloody annoying."

The boy is so clueless. I mean, it's so clear to see that that girl is horribly insecure, but just does an amazing job of hiding it.

Oh well. All men are clueless, unfortunately.

But he's so smitten with her.

There's no question.

8:25 P.M.

Bedroom Quarters

Just got back from another staff meeting, during which we held our annual 'Which First Year Students Will End Up Together?' bet. I've got eight galleons down on Ron and Hermione. Iolana Sprout put down ten on Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott. McGonagall grudgingly agreed with me about Weasley and Granger. Snape attempted to place a hundred on Harry Potter dying before he left Hogwarts. We wouldn't allow this; Severus seemed rather put out.

He's ridiculously morbid, really.

Then Dumbledore put down fifty and a bag of Sugar Quills on Snape and myself.

For a fleeting moment, we stood united in our steadfast determination to hex the headmaster to next Tuesday and back.

Instead, Snape informed Dumbledore through gritted teeth that he ought to stop his aggravating foolishness at once because it wasn't at all relevant nor professional.

I couldn't help but notice that he looked rather...pinkish while saying this.

Am still contemplating whether it is possible for Severus Snape to blush. It's a rather intriguing idea.

Feel compelled to remind myself once more that Severus Snape is not in any way attractive.

Because he's not.

8:29 P.M.

Snape and I.

Hahaha.

Oh, yes.

We're just written in the stars.

Keep telling yourself that, Albus.

8:35 P.M.

Have just recalled that the star Sinistra is in fact part of the constellation Ophiuchus, the serpent handler. Pliny said that this particular constellation caused much mortality by poisoning.

Poisoning.

How interesting and completely irrelevant to my sarcastic proclamation that Severus Snape and I were written in the stars.

And oh, there's more.

Quoted shamelessly from one of my Astronomy volumes:

'When Ophiuchus, encircled by the serpent's great coils, rises he renders the forms of snakes innocuous to those born under him. They will receive snakes into the folds of their flowing robes, and will exchange kisses with these poisonous monsters and suffer no harm.'

And then there's the delightful explanation of the Sinistra star.

'Lustful, wanton, infamous, scandalous, addicted to sorcery and poisoning.'

. . .

This is clearly ridiculous.

What do the stars know, anyway?

Honestly. I don't believe a word of it. I'm not a silly centaur or anything of the like. I actually possess a bit of sense, thank you.

8:40 P.M.

Plus, Severus Snape is not in any way attractive.

8:41 P.M.

It seems I have a new mantra.

Saturday, September 7, 1991

11:05 A.M.

Bedroom Quarters

Someone broke into Gringotts on July 31, attempting to steal the Stone.

Naturally, I've just learned this today.

I really don't keep up with the Daily Prophet.

The article appeared in today's issue. This has whipped the teachers into a frenzy - everyone's working like mad on their obstacles for the Stone's protection. At the moment, all we have is Hagrid's mad (not to mention compulsively drooling) three-headed dog.

I hate that thing.

Fluffy.

Who names a deformed monster Fluffy?!

Sometimes I wonder about that man.

10:09 A.M.

Though not nearly as much as I wonder about Severus Snape.

10:10 A.M.

Which is vaguely unnerving.

10:25 A.M.

In other news, the first year Gryffindors have Double Potions today.

With the Slytherins, no less.

I am highly skeptical about Neville Longbottoms' making it out of there alive.

Poor thing.

2:53 P.M.

Teacher's Lounge

Snape just asked me what rhymed with 'wine'.

...I may have to laugh myself to death.

Snape. A poet.

2:54 P.M.

Though it does have a sexy sort of allure. You know, in a brooding artist kinda way.

2:55 P.M.

I did not just write that.