Hello folks! thanks to everyone for reading and remember english is not my first languague so I'm sorry again for any mistakes.
DONNA
I make my way to the restaurant and Rachel and Scottie are already there talking, Scottie spots me first and nearly tackles me "Give me some love Paulsen, I've missed you" She hugs me tightly and I return the hug.
"I missed you too Scottie, but we did see each other a couple of months ago for my birthday" I point out.
"Well, what can I say, you can never spend too much time with the mighty Donna Paulsen" We take our seats and I give Rachel a kiss on the cheek to greet her.
"So, spill it Paulsen, we want to know everything! How did it go?" Rachel squeals and Scottie is as giddy as she can, they've always supported me being with Harvey, they care about him and I have liked that they got along, somehow now, that makes this whole thing harder.
"It went well, a little bit awkward at first but then it was really good, we had breakfast and spent the rest of the day in central park, conversation just flew smoothly and that was it" I try to keep it simple, not letting them notice the butterflies in my stomach at the way having his lips pressed against my forehead felt when we parted ways.
"Oh come on Donna, I've known you since third grade, you can try to pull that shit on anyone else, but not me" Scottie gives me a small smirk and of course she wasn't going to go for it, that woman can read me like a book.
"All right….. it was great, beyond great, he was a gentleman, said all the right things, didn't pry on anything and it felt like the Harvey I fell in love with twelve years ago was back, happy?" I blurt everything out because there's no point lying to them, "However, one day with him doesn't change everything that's happened, I'm still marrying Thomas" it's Rachel's turn to chime in.
"Good thing you were able to admit that Donna, it's only natural you feel that way, the man was your husband for seven years, maybe this week will turn out better than you thought, it'll give you the chance to actually see why you want to marry Thomas and start your life with him without a trace of doubt" Rachel is always the one that tries to balance things, whereas Scottie is always giving me shit about me not being over my husband.
"Thank you Rachel, that's pretty accurate" I say while giving Scottie a pointed look.
"Whatever" she dismisses me and fortunately we change the subject to wedding planning.
…
Later that night Thomas calls me and for some reason I feel a rush of guilt over me.
"Hey" I answer
"Hey beautiful, how was everything today?" he asks. I can tell he's smiling.
"It was good, got to spend some time with Scottie and Rachel, I'm meeting my mom for lunch tomorrow, so I'm pretty excited about that" That's a lie, my mom is not in NY this week, she's back in Connecticut helping my aunt with some stuff, she won't be back until Friday.
"That's great, I'm glad you get to spend some time with your people, I miss you though"
"I know, I miss you too" I lie and feel terrible because I should miss him, but the truth is I haven't really thought of him much. "How's everything at work?" I change the subject.
"We're managing, but it's not the same without you, you do run the whole thing babe" And there's that pet name that I hate again.
"Don't call me babe Thomas, you know I hate it" I point out and he laughs.
"Sorry, sorry, but you are a babe and I'm terribly missing you here. Can you cut your trip short? Maybe come back before next Monday?"
"I can't Thomas, there's some things I need to run by here to leave everything settled before I can come back, and I'm enjoying spending time with my friends too, I won't be able to come down much after the wedding" I try to reassure him.
"What are those things you need to settle Donna? I'm going to be your husband, I should know about these things…" And there he goes again prying on things I don't want to discuss and I know we're not supposed to hide things from each other but I can't exactly throw at him over the phone the fact that I'm trying to convince my stubborn husband to divorce me.
"Thomas please, I'll tell you as soon as I get back, ok?, it's not something to talk about over the phone" I try to remain calm but it comes out in a more irritating tone than I meant.
"Alright, do what you have to do and come back to me" His voice is soft and I feel guilty again for spending this week with another man when he misses me, it kind of feels like cheating, even if I would never let it get that far.
"I will, goodnight Thomas"
"Goodnight Donna, I love you" I don't say it back, I rarely do, and when I do it's for the mere purpose of reassuring him. There was a time I said those three words daily, every time Harvey and I spoke on the phone, we'd never finish a conversation without saying I love you to each other, not even at the end of our marriage, as pissed as I was with him, I'd always say it back.
"Hey, I was wondering how long till you get home" I say irritated, he promised he'd be here by eight, again, it's nine thirty and he's not here yet.
"Hello to you too honey" He has the nerve to mock me.
"I'm sorry for wanting my husband to be at home at the time he promised Harvey" I'm beyond irritated with him.
"Donna, I'm sorry, I got caught up in a meeting, Jessica needs me to handle this tonight, it's important" Excuses, more and more excuses.
"Right…. I'll leave you some leftovers on the fridge then" I curtly reply
"Donna…" I hear him sigh.
"It's ok Harvey, I'm used to it by now, I hope everything turns out ok with your client"
"Thanks, I love you"
I let out a long sigh "I love you too" and I hang up.
Nearing midnight I hear his keys at the door and I know he's home. I pretend to be asleep because I don't want him to see my red eyes from all the crying I do these days.
He tries to be as silent as he can and I hear the shower run, a few minutes later the scent of his soap and shampoo invades me and he lies next to me.
"I know you are awake, and I'm sorry Donna, I tried to get out early but I really couldn't" He softly places his hand in my arm but I keep my back turned to him.
"It's ok Harvey, I really don't want to talk about it" I hope he lets it go but of course he doesn't.
"It won't always be this way, I know this is hard mostly for you cause I'm never around but it's only a couple of months more, a year top, then I'll make it to name partner and Mike will be a senior associate by then, I'll be able to give more of my cases over to him, I promise"
"Stop right there Harvey, I'm so sick of your promises" I sit on the bed by this point and look at him "you can't make it home at the time you said you would and you expect me to believe things will go back to normal as soon as Mike makes it to senior associate and you get your name up there, if that's all you care about and if me complaining about it is so annoying to you, just divorce me Harvey" He panics at my words and this is why I wanted him to drop it.
"What are you talking about Donna?, I'm doing this for us, for our future, you're the most important person in my life, you're my wife, that means something, hell it means everything to me" he tries to plead with me but I'm not having it.
"It's been a while since it's felt that way Harvey, I feel like we come farther and farther apart every day" Tears start falling from my eyes.
"Hey, honey look at me" he lifts my chin and stares straight into my eyes. "I love you Donna, always have and always will, life without you is not an option for me, I'm sorry, I really am, I'll try harder, but please don't leave me Donna, I can't live without you, I can't breathe without you baby" He places a small peck on my lips and I don't pull back because I missed him all day and even if I'm pissed at him I could never really leave him.
"I love you too, I just miss you, I'm sorry, I over reacted, I don't know what's wrong with me these days, it's been a tough week at work and I guess I just want to be with you when I get home, and it's frustrating when you're not here, but I could never leave you Harvey" He's about to reply but I don't let him, I pull him into a passionate kiss and straddle him, he moans into my mouth and that's the end of the argument, we make love three times that night and I wake up the next morning to an empty space beside me and a note on his pillow. He already left for work.
"I'm sorry, I had to run for a breakfast meeting, see you tonight, I love you"
I sigh deeply, so much for trying harder, Specter.
Next morning I make my way down to have breakfast at the hotel restaurant when I see Harvey already waiting in the lobby. He didn't say what his plans were for today so I don't know why he's here at such an early hour.
"Hey, morning" I greet him.
"Morning…. so, I was thinking we can have breakfast here and then we can go on with our activities for today" He has this big smile on his face and I find it adorable.
"Activities?" I lift an eyebrow and look at him with curiosity.
"Yeah, I have some things planned out, but it's a surprise" He grins and I can't help but smile.
"Harvey, I do need to remind you that even if this kind of seems like we're going on dates we're not, I'm only doing this so you sign the divorce papers, because I do have someone waiting for me back home" His face falls a little and I feel bad but I don't want to create false expectations for him.
"I know Donna, I just want you to enjoy a few days in your old home and spend a few more days with you in case you decide to never come back, and I never see you again" his eyes are pleading with me to do this for him and it's always been so damn hard for me to say no to him, that's actually the reason I couldn't say goodbye when I left, I knew that if I faced him I wasn't going to be able to leave him.
"There's nothing to decide Harvey, me staying was never an option, I know you said you wanted to prove to me we weren't over but I know we are, I grieved our marriage a long time ago, but if this is the closure you need to grieve it too, I can at least give you this much" I try to make him understand without hurting his feelings but I guess there's no way to achieve that.
"Thank you Donna, your rejection doesn't hurt at all" he says with a sad smile.
"And what do you want me to say to that Harvey?"
"Nothing Donna, let's just grab breakfast or we'll be late for our first stop" He leads me to the salon and we manage to enjoy breakfast talking about my dinner with the girls and he tells me about a big case Mike won a couple of weeks ago, and the pride in his voice is something I really enjoy. He's always loved the kid, he was kind of like an adopted son for us back in the days he joined the firm.
"I've always known he'd make it, he is so much like you in many ways" I point out.
"I don't have a photographic memory, but yeah, I guess I taught him good"
"You certainly did Harvey" I sip my coffee and smile at him.
"So… your mom asked me to tell you that if you're available to grab dinner on Thursday night, she'd love to have us, she's coming back earlier from Connecticut" he explains and I'm pretty sure I'm gaping at him like a fish.
"I'm sorry, you talk to my mom?" I look at him dumbfounded.
"Of course I do, I just assumed you knew your parents and I have dinner every Thursday night" He says casually like it's the most normal thing in the world.
"I didn't know that, they never told me" It shouldn't surprise me that much, they have always loved him, especially my mom, he's the son she never got to have with me and Addison being women.
"Well, I thought we could go, for old times' sake, they would love to see you and I really enjoy having dinner with them"
"Sure… of course I want to see them, it's been a while" I say
"Yeah, Elena was mad when you didn't show up for her birthday, she said something about not wanting to be cut out of your life just because you moved to another city" It kind of pisses me off that he knows all this stuff like he has a right to be a part of my parents life more than I do.
"Yeah well, I explained to her why I couldn't make it, I don't know why she tells you these things, it's not like it's your business anymore" I'm being rude but I can't bring myself to care.
"I'm sorry, you're right, it's not my business, I can cut my relationship with them if it makes you uncomfortable, I really do like being close to them though" I feel bad for him, because he had such an estranged relationship with his mother, and when I finally got him to make up with her, she died a few years later, his dad died too and all he really had after that was Marcus, me and my parents, so I really can't bring myself to ask that of him.
"No Harvey, it's ok, just make sure you're not there when Thomas and I come over for the holidays after the wedding, it won't be easy to explain why my ex-husband bonds with my parents and he doesn't" That catches his attention.
"Has he met your parents?"
"No, they haven't had a chance to meet, we've only been together for a year and they haven't been able to make it to Chicago, I haven't been back to New York since…" I left you, it's implied but I don't let the words come out "so….I guess I'll have to find a way for them to meet before the wedding, I'll figure something out"
"I'm sure they'll love him" he says and I know he doesn't mean it.
"Well, I don't know about that, they love you, they've always been team Harvey so I don't know if they'll love him, but he's a good man, so I guess I just hope they respect him enough not to embarrass me" He chuckles at that.
"I'd really like to see it when he meets Addison" we both snort at that
"Oh god, he'll probably divorce me after that." My sister is something else. She's a good person but can be really annoying when trying to protect me. She's ten years older so she kind of thinks of herself as my second mother, she used to babysit me when we were kids and thinks that gives her parental rights over me somehow.
"She's not so bad, she's a good person Donna, and she loves you" He says and he's always kind of had a good relationship with my sister, a first for Addison who's always hated my boyfriends.
"I'd be surprised if she didn't try to embarrass me with really awkward stories at the wedding" I joke and he smiles
"She would never, you know she bluffs most of the time, she only gives you a hard time because that's her job as your oldest sister"
"You're right, I know that"
"Should we get going?" He says and I agree, glad we drop the subject of my family. He leads me outside and I notice Ray's not there.
"No Ray today?" I ask.
"Nope, gave him the day off, the car club is only a couple of blocks from here, so I guessed we could just pick up a car there" he simply says as he leads the way.
We take an Aston Martin DB9, a favorite of his since it's the first one we took when he joined the club and that detail doesn't escape my attention.
"The DB9, really? trying to take a trip down memory lane Specter?" He opens the door for me and I make my way inside as he makes his way around the car to get in the front seat.
"Actually yeah, we're going to Harvard" he points out once he starts the engine.
"Harvard? Why the hell are we going there?" I yell at him shocked.
"I told you Donna, this is last few days I have with you and I intend to enjoy every single minute of it, so I'm going to remind you why you fell in love with me in the first place, no better place to do that than where it happened" He's blunt honest about it and I've gotta say I admire his straightforwardness.
"Harvey you just said you weren't trying to get me back" I argue with him.
"No I didn't, you said your mind is set on leaving, I never said I wasn't going to try to change it, all fair in love and war right?" I glare at him. "Listen if you don't wanna go, we won't, but honestly, when are you going to go back to Harvard? I know how much you love it there" He has a point and I feel myself surrender to his charms once again.
"Let's go Specter, just don't try anything funny" I warn him.
"I won't I promise, scouts honor" he says putting his open palm to the side of his head as a salute
"Alright, let's do this" I tell him as we hit the road.