Last time: The guys got another lead. Sasha is afraid of what will happen to her and her child. And Is she still friends with Cien?

Now: Sasha breaks her word.

Chapter 5- Cien's Feelings

The Empress strode through the hallways of the palace after finishing her day's work. She was unsettled, and had been for the last several days since she had last talked to Sasha. She had avoided seeing her again in the subsequent time. But their last conversation had been gnawing at her. The question of if they were still friends echoed in her head. Over the last seven and a half years she had buried those ghosts from her past, from the events from those days around when Dracul had disappeared, and apparently been killed by the Jedi. Buried them in the work of trying to build her empire, buried them like she had buried other weaknesses that threatened to consume her.

But standing before Sasha they came to the forefront, haunting her again as she was confronted by what should be such a simple question; are we still friends? Even after kidnapping her, the Jedi still thought of her as a friend? She wants to trust you because she thinks she sees sparks of good in you. She shuddered as that particular ghost arose from the deepest recesses of herself and she tamped it down. Unconsciously, as she wandered this evening, she found herself looking up at the path that led to Sasha's suite. The hallway was empty, the guards at her door around a corner, and she stood alone.

When she had told Ikari of her observation in the Force, of when Sasha's child made its presence known, she had mentioned it off hand, as a test to see if her Acolyte had noticed such a subtle ripple. Ikari, loyal as she was, had not felt it. But hearing about such a powerful Force user coming forward, Ikari had immediately put the thought in her head; what if the child grew up loyal to you? A month later, she had assaulted their lodge, someplace she never thought to visit again, and kidnapped Sasha. And in the deepest part of her mind, she had felt so wrong to do so. She was a Sith. She was supposed to take every advantage. To do what must be done to gain strength, and power. And she had faltered at the thought of doing so. And the inevitability of what must happen to Sasha at the end of this road, since she would never give up the child willingly.

She started walking forward. The cruelty of the Sith weighed at her, knowing what she must do. What she was supposed to do. But not sure she could do. All because of the simple thought of a tenuous friendship, forged with someone who should be her deepest enemy.

She arrived at the door, and the guard unlocked it, and the other opened the door, carefully checking inside, and then opened the door wider.

Cien stepped in, and saw Sasha by the window. And felt like she had just walked in on something. "Am I disturbing you?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Because she wasn't able to sense her arrival with the Force, Cien's sudden arrival actually made Sasha jump in terror. "Ah!" She yelped. She then moved away from the window as she sighed. "Oh Cien it's you. No, I was just… trying to get some fresh air."

Cien stared at her, and tried to suppress a hint of amusement from showing on her face. "I..." She started, "I wanted to check and see that all was well with you."

Sasha looked back to the window, a longing and sad look on her face that she was trying to hide. "I'm alright," she said distantly.

Cien nodded, and looked away. After a moment she started speaking slowly. "I need to understand," she started, "how you can still think of me as a friend after all of this." Cien watched her, and tried to peer past the sadness and determination that rolled off of her, trying to discern some hint of the lie that must surely be there.

Sasha looked at her now. "I guess I was curious is all. I mean we had become friends before the final showdown with Dracul. And yeah I know you kidnapped me and I will admit I am not thrilled by it. Actually it does irritate me that you did that." She paused. "It's just… a small part of me was curious as to what happened to you. What made you do this. And whether or not the old Cien I remember is still there." She frowned at her. "If that makes any sense."

"Not really." Cien said, looking at her. She looked away. "I was left alone, after I had been told I was not. Varden died, and there was no one." She continued, she was not sure why she was saying this. "And I realized how much of a weakness that had become. The Cien that you remember is still here, but you remember a different Cien than I do." She said quietly. "I remember the Cien that attacked you, to try to turn you to be Dracul's Acolyte. And all the things I did to bring that about. The Cien that tried to kill you in that cave, before you could let him loose again. What Cien you saw, I do not understand."

"The Cien I saw called to me for help when Dracul was becoming too powerful. She also helped me show Viran the true cruelty of Dracul and why I trusted her. And she was the Cien that stood in Kyr's interrogation room with me talking and laughing. That is the Cien I saw. That is the Cien I thought was my friend. A person with a dark past and many skeletons in the closet, but someone who only wanted to have friends and not be alone anymore," Sasha explained, stepping closer to her. She then bit her lip like she was going to add on, but seemed to be on the fence about it.

Cien took a step backward and said nothing for a time, looking away. "That Cien was weak." She said, "that Cien admitted to friendship, and made a mistake in believing in it. She paid a price for that, for letting her walls fall, and leaving herself open. She made a mistake trying to think anything else could come of it." She said, still looking distantly away, and more as if to restate that to herself.

Sasha looked hurt by that. "You were never alone."

Cien's gaze refocused on her, and she looked at her through a soft scowl. "I was always alone. You and… he made those grand statements that I wasn't alone, and then you left. He left. Varden died. You said you would be back soon, and you were gone. And Kyr left, because he was disappointed in my abilities, that I couldn't hear you if you had even bothered calling out to me while you were there." She looked away, giving voice to thoughts that had haunted her for years.

"I'm sorry we didn't come back sooner. I truly am. We never meant to be gone that long or to leave you and the others that long either. We are already paying the price of missing six years of our lives. But is that really what you think made Kyr leave?" Sasha asked her with a raised brow.

Cien's scowl deepened. "He made some excuse, but all I could feel from him was disappointment when he finally left." She said, looking at the Jedi. "Why he bothered to stay so long, I do not know." She spit the words out, and looked away with a deep, fuming breath.

Sasha closed her eyes and mumbled something under breath that sounded like, "I'm sorry, Kyr." She then looked at Cien. "Kyr didn't leave because he was disappointed that you couldn't reach us. He left because…" She hesitated then blurted out. "He left because of the way he felt about you." She then clapped a hand to her mouth, a look of betrayal on her face as she may have just revealed a secret.

Cien looked at her utterly confused through her scowl. "What?"

She took a deep breath before continuing. "He left because of how he felt about you and he feared you didn't feel the same. He left because he thought it was for the best for the both of you." She explained.

"What do you mean?" She looked at Sasha with absolute and utter confusion, her scowl fading as she stared at the Jedi in puzzlement.

"Kyr cares about you, Cien, in ways he has never felt for another," Sasha explained. "He was afraid it was only one sided and left before he hurt you or you hurt him." She sighed. "Look, I'm not the best to explain all of this, but this is what he told me. And I broke a promise by telling you, because you deserve to know the truth."

Cien took a step backwards, the confusion slowly dissolving from her face. "What?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, it's true. I was surprised when he told me, but I can understand why he did it," Sasha said gently.

"Do you mean, he…" She trailed off, looking at Sasha even more confused.

"Yeah," Sasha said with a nod.

Anger, confusion, disbelief, a hundred emotions swept across her face in a flash before she fell back behind her impassive, unreadable Imperial meign, and she turned to leave.

"Cien, I'm sorry if that upset you," Sasha apologized. "I just felt that you deserved to know is all."

Cien walked away, not looking behind her at the Jedi. The guard opened the door for her and she walked out, down the darkened, night time corridors alone to her suite. She slammed open her door, and slammed it closed behind her. The bright lights in the room turned on to greet her, and she reached out with the Force to bat the button to turn them off. She missed, and the lights stayed on. She slammed out with the Force, destroying the control panel and buckling the wall around it with a small shower of sparks. The lights went out, and she stood alone in the darkness as she brought her hands up to her face as she leaned backwards against the door.

Two and a half months he had stayed at her side. She had spent weeks recovering from the injuries she sustained, and he had stayed at her bedside. And she hadn't understood why. And no one on the ship had dared cross him to get to her in her weakened state, to try to end her after they felt she had betrayed Dracul. Then he had stayed, and she hadn't understood why. Always at her shoulder while the crew fell in line. She had relied on him, him and Varden, but Varden had other duties, and Kyr had stayed with her, with witty observations, quick jokes, questions about this or that, quiet conversation, or just quietly staying with her. And then after a few weeks of him slowly becoming more quiet, and more and more disappointed, he had made what felt like an excuse to leave, when his disappointment had reached a tipping point. And she had coldly dismissed him, assuming as she had told Sasha it was because he didn't think she could contact them, and felt a deep anger and smoldering resentment towards him after. That he was disappointed in her lack of power, reminding her of Dracul's threats of the consequences of his own disappointment.

And she had missed him. The first person she had ever missed. More deeply than she would ever admit, even to herself. Especially to herself. And that had stayed with her at the back of her mind as she busied herself with building her power in the following years. Finally, after Endor when she had made her move, she had sensed him trying to find her. For his damn rebellion, she had thought, in her burning anger towards him. And so she had misled him, and let the trail go cold.

He had stayed, and she hadn't understood why. He had left, and she hadn't understood why. She had thought about him, and missed him. And she hadn't understood why. But now she understood, as the realization hit her like she was slammed against a glass wall that shattered with her impact. He never thought she would return his feelings towards her. And as she stood alone in the darkness, holding her hands to her face, she finally understood that she had.

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