After his conversation with McGonagall Remus felt a tiny better, it was nice to share his thoughts with someone. He didn't know how to explain to his friends why he had stopped talking to them. He was certain they wouldn't understand. How could they? He hoped he could just start talking to them, ignoring the fact he hadn't said anything to them in a year. But he knew that wasn't possible. There was the chance as well that McGonagall was lying to him. That she had just told him that to prevent him from doing anything radial.
Still Remus felt some hope after McGonnagal told him they were worried for him. Maybe they didn't just keep talking to him out of obligation. They still went to the hospital wing after he came back every month after all. But they didn't realise how dangerous he was yet. They hadn't seen him for what he truly was. He was certain Sirius was trying to find a way to help him as well. He had seen that Sirius had lent multiple books on werewolves from the library even though he tried to hide it. Sirius was awful at hiding things. If they just realised there was nothing they could do to help him, and just ignored the fact he was a werewolf. Then he could maybe start to have more contact again. But it seemed that they were deadset on helping him, And that could only end in disaster.
But the happiest Remus had felt since he was bitten was when he had had them as his friends. It was incredibly selfish of him but Remus knew that the only way he could feel better was to get in touch with them again. He didn't know what else he could do. Maybe he was able to obliviate them to make them forget. But he was almost certain they would find out again. And telling them had been awful.
He didn't know how to tell them he wanted to be friends with them again. How could he tell them why he had ignored them for months. He decided to just sit next to Sirius again during the transfiguration lesson and blame McGonagall for forcing him to sit next to him. Then he started talking to them more and more. Saying he had to because they were working together and he started hanging out with them again. He felt incredibly manipulative.
James, Peter and Sirius noticed Remus started hanging out with them again all of a sudden but they decided not to point it out. They were scared Remus would isolate himself again if they asked. Just as they were aware Sirius had some issues at home but tried to not mention them. Sirius had continued researching a way they could help Remus. James wondered why Sirius was so focused on this particular project, but Sirius kept spending all his free time researching werewolves.
By the end of the year the four were as close as near the end of the second year. Every time Remus started to distance himself from the rest again they kept specifically asking him to do things with them again. They noticed it was something Remus seemed to do when he felt insecure. So they made a point of it to make Remus feel like a part of the group again. They shared almost everything. James and Sirius had gotten it into their head they should try out for the quidditch team next year and spent almost every free minute training. Peter and Remus didn't really like quidditch but more often than not they would sit under a tree near the quidditch pitch doing homework and cheering James and Sirius on. And every Saturday they would have lunch together under that tree.
Summervacation came and went and the four started their fourth year at hogwarts. James and Sirius qualified for the gryffindor quidditch team as a chaser and a keeper respectively. And had to spend most of their free evenings practising. During that time Remus and Peter often studied together, Remus was near the top of his classes again, only Lilly, the girl James had a huge crush on for some reason, kept beating him.
Overall Remus' fourth year was great. He and his friends were closer than ever and he even started to have a glimmer of hope he could actually be happy. Some days he still felt the world would be better off without him and he had his monthly demons to worry about, But that year, for the first time in a while he felt the world was manageable. If he didn't think about his future or anything he could pretend everything was fine. So that was what he decided to do. Except for every month when reality hit him right in the face. When he lay bleeding and crying on the floor of the shrieking shack, he couldn't ignore his dark thoughts in those moments.
But madam Pomfrey came to pick him up every month and his friends were always already there for him in the hospital wing. So he pushed them down again and acted happy with his friends, no need for them to involve McGonagall again for an awkward conversation. He also didn't want Sirius to worry any more than he already did. Remus could see the concern on his face in particular every time Pomfrey brought him in.
When it was time for them to go home for their fifth year summer Remus was hopeful next year would be just as good as this one. Summers were usually extremely boring for Remus. His father spent almost all his time at work and the rest of it ignoring him. Lupin cottage always felt isolated from the rest of the world. This, of course, was on purpose so that no one would notice Remus sickness every month. Still, after a year at Hogwarts Remus had to get used to the quiet huise every year again. Most of Remus' time was spent reading muggle fiction books. He was looking forward to going back to school
Sirius was also looking forward to going to school but for a different reason.