I do not own either Re:Zero or Oregairu

Hachiman blinked at found himself back in the market place from the position he was observing the apple vendor. Then he rushed to the bushes and vomited all over it. It wasn't just about experiencing death, that was quick and mostly painless. Unfortunately his experience fused with the visual imagery of what he saw in the loot house but had no time to process made it way too real for him.

What had happened? He was almost completely certain that the vixen broke out of the ice and beheaded him but how did she heal from that level frost bites? No, for a combat junkie of that level to have no scars on her face meant that she had to have ridiculous regeneration abilities, like a mythical monster rather than a human. Only other explanation was that Emilia beheaded him with a sharp ice blade, as he was useless with a damaged gate. Chances of that were negligible though.

So how was he alive? There was always the possibility that he was healed and teleport to here. He could even have been resurrected as an undead, there would be some irony in Yukinoshita's zombie comments coming true. But it seemed too coincidental for the location, higher likelihood was that he was sent back in time. Just in case he focused on his gate which was in perfect condition. He even walked past the apple vendor who saw him but there was no recognition in his eyes.

So this wasn't even an isekai but a game isekai with save points and multiple lives? He could suffer death multiple times?

The thought almost sent him into a fresh wave of panic, but that quickly passed. It was the exact opposite of when he first transmigrated. At that time, his wonder had shifted to panic, but now his panic had turned into joy. He wasn't just reluctantly accepting of it, he was ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC about it. It wasn't the thought of being able to live at any cost, he would actually prefer death. His will and attachment to life was not that great to endure this physical and mental torture. What gave him hope and joy was the thought that time was being reset.

While he had set a deadline of six months, it had put a lot of pressure on him. It may not even be enough time to figure out the world, let alone finding a way to return home. But now, if there was a treasure hunt in this city that would take 10 days to find, he could kill himself after exploring for a day repeated nine times to find it in just one day. It would be painful and traumatizing for him but nothing is without cost. The more he could reduce his time of return, the less pain Komachi and others would suffer. Even if he had actually mentally lived for years or even decades, it would be worth it.

Unfortunately he did not know the number of lives he had or whether there was a way to increase this number so he could not use this power too much. Now he wondered if this was given to him or was it his own ability. It would make sense if he was summoned because he had this hidden power but he should not assume. He needed more data about whether this ability operated on some logic or if it was for the convenience of some powerful sentient.

Another thing that bothered him was the coincidence of the whole sequence that happened in a single day. An extremely beautiful and powerful teenage girl facing discrimination with her emotional maturity far behind her what her age should be. She doesn't live in the capital, and yet on the same day she visited the city and faced a great crisis, he was summoned. He was now ninety percent certain that he was summoned for her. He still could not tell what the real objective was though?

This reminded him of the old 2D Mario vs super smash bros. It was like he was in a three dimensional world but was only allowed to move in one direction, like a game towards the destination that someone else had decided for him. The conditions of Puck's contract was likely the key. He decided that he would use this power 'return by death' to observe his and Emilia's surroundings at least once if not more times. In the case of multiple stages, he would commit one suicide as a minimum on every stage to find the best path forward and minimize his effective time into this world.

This approach was not without problems. He might have to watch others die like NPC's without interfering. This would be particularly difficult for the ones he personally knew for any length of time like Emilia or Puck. There was a possibility that he only had two lives and suicide meant real death but it was a risk he was going to have to take, whether the summoner wanted him to or not.

Of-course it was possible that even if he managed to return, he could just be summoned back. But as long as he managed to tell them what happened and that he is fine, it would be okay to disappear into this world forever. Even a single letter would do.