My Next Broken Heart
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett and Castle have moved past her MIA time, and are working toward a relationship. Ryan's Wedding is an opportune time to display their progress, Or is it? NOTE Dates have been adjusted to make this story possible. This story is full of angst, some chapters will be rough, you've been warned SEE A/N at beginning of Chapter 1.
Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
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A/N: This story is NOT going to be all sunshine and roses, we deal with an unsuccessful pregnancy, a suicide, not by any main character, but still if this triggers thoughts for you personally, PLEASE do not read this fic.
I am currently about halfway complete in writing this story, I still don't know if Beckett and Rick will make it back to each other. Once again, if you only read CASKETT, you may want to wait until it's marked complete, and heed the warnings. Not that anyone reads it but I have listed this disclaimer in my profile, None of my stories is EVER guaranteed to be Casket, although I do try to accomplish this, or give ample warning of a non-Caskett ending. I am a great shipper like most of you are, but sometimes looking at life events, it would be more science fiction than romance to think a couple, any couple could overcome some of the events these two have encountered.
For those who have commented so many times before, I DON'T hate Kate Beckett, PERIOD. Her character as portrayed in Canon left only so much room for AU writers to take the story and stay somewhat close to our beloved show. I take a fragment presented in Canon and attempt to build a side story, what else could have happened, rather than just accept the Canon version as the only outcome possible. I try not to portray Rick as the Saint, do no wrong, and her the total B. It should be noted that when we discuss differences in the characters it is she who has been more socially active than Castle throughout the series Marlowe presented.
I have read a ton of fanfics during the holiday break, those I didn't care for, I didn't continue to read, or leave a review, flame message telling the writer how much I hated their work. The message is still the same, and simple, if you read and like, thank you. If you start to read and it's not what you like, thanks for trying it out. If you hate it, please pass it by, I know my writing is not for everyone.
What amazes me is that someone will read 10 plus chapters, an excess of 30,000 words, and wait until it is marked complete then send me a review, posted by Guest, of course, telling me how much they hated it. Who continues to read something they detest? I shouldn't have to mention this, but I do not tolerate anyone using swear words to describe a character, any character including those I add to the story. It's a very mixed audience we write for, respect is shown for all cultures and preferences.
I write for fun mostly, occasionally by request, but at this stage of my life I have been called everything you can think of and then some, so the flameograms don't bother me, but it will get you blocked. We have lost several great writers, some even abandoning stories without completion because they had heard enough from the "Guests".
Don't get me wrong, I have several readers who don't sign in with accounts and we exchange cordial and respectful communication. I do encourage you to log in and DM or write a review, I respond to almost everyone I can. WE can discuss any issue you might have as adults, or not.
This is a new year, so I wish each of your new beginnings and new successes. Thanks to those who have been with me since the beginning, I hope you enjoy the story, if you have an idea, please send them to me,
Tim
Chapter 1
NYPD
12th Precinct
Beckett's Desk
Rick looked around at the boys, and Kate, they were all exhausted and rightfully so. The clues, as few as there were, didn't provide an open and shut case for them, but through their legwork, and a lucky break they had just caught the killer. Castle sat in his usual spot next to the woman that had won his heart back after the heartache and pain he had endured during her self-imposed absence. He was content just sitting and watching her finish the last of the paperwork for this long exhausting case.
She was taking extra care; she wasn't about to provide a loophole for some slimy defense attorney who thought more of his high fee than he did for the families of the murdered women. "You know staring is still creepy Rick, don't you have somewhere to go?" She asked, half kidding, they had dinner reservations marking somewhat of a milestone for them. Three months since she had returned to the force, and they had made great strides in growing closer to one another. All it took was a bullet to the heart, and three months listening to crickets chirp for her to come to her senses.
"Nah, not really, I just have this dinner thing, you know, with a friend, or whatever we are," He said with some sadness in his voice,
"Rick, we've been over this, please. This isn't the time or place to discuss this, let's just go have a nice dinner then talk about it in private, please?" she batted her eyes at him,
"Well, you know Ryan's wedding is only a week away," Castle mentioned looking over at the young detective, almost giddy with love for his future wife.
"I know, Rick," Beckett replied signing her name on the last file with a bit of a flourish.
"Well, since I'm invited, and you're invited, I thought we could possibly go together and avoid the stigma of the singles table, I mean," Castle suggested before taking a sip of his coffee, using it to shield him from the glare that was shot back at him.
"What are you saying Rick, are you asking me to accompany you as if we were on a date?" She rolled her eyes as if what he had suggested had turned her anger on full force,
"Well, I guess that is up to you," he smiled, hoping, praying that she would say yes on both accounts.
The look on her face wasn't promising, finally, she whispered low, "I don't know, Castle. These are the people I work with; I wouldn't want them"
"Sure, sure, think about it, and let me know, it just made sense you know, with"
"OK, I'll think about it," she responded turning off her computer and grabbing her purse from the desk drawer.
She was fighting her own internal battle of why she shouldn't go with him, especially to a wedding. She still hadn't confessed her lie, that she had heard him, it was the last thing she had heard before the lights went out that day. She remembered standing at the podium, looking over at Evelyn, then back to Rick when she quoted Roy about if you're lucky you'll find someone to stand with you. She knew that she had, but now what?
It had been a long way back just to get to where they were at now, totally her fault, and she was surprised that Rick had forgiven her, so quickly. The two of them had come so far since then, yet in matters of the heart, they were as far apart as ever. She knew she felt something for Castle, hell she loved him, or as close as she had come to loving anyone in a long time.
Was it enough to go to that place where neither of them could ever take back? A brief memory flashed of the kiss, sure undercover, but why did she kiss him back? Why did she think about it even when she was with other men? She knew why, everyone in the precinct knew, now she had to marshal the courage to tell him. Once a kiss is given it can never be taken back.
Thoughts of her mom and the case file sitting in the Cold Case section then rushed into her memory. Was Roy really trying to protect her, was he involved, what the hell was he talking about in that hangar? Too many questions for her to consider a love life until she got closure, now for Roy as well as her mom.
Then she still had her mother's murder to solve which mow included solving Captain Montgomery's murder and her shooting. Was it that simple, was everything tied together with a little bow, and once she solved one crime, they would all fall into place and she could move on with her life?
If it did, would this new life include Castle on a more personal level? Did she even want him in her life on that deep of a personal level? She had waffled back and forth, somedays, she wanted it, others, she just wasn't sure, maybe Kevin's wedding would help put things into perspective for her own love life.
"Castle, are you coming, or are you going to sit there all night," Beckett asked watching him mesmerized by something in his thoughts, perhaps her and him at the wedding, Stop! She scolded herself,
"Uh, Oh yea, sorry I'm coming," he replied rapidly arriving at her side, then turned to the boys "till tomorrow." He said,
"You still can't just say Good Night, can you?" She chided with a smile,
"It's still boring Detective, till tomorrow sounds so much more hopeful," he responded with a smile, as they entered the elevator and the doors closed.
"See, Bro, I told you this wedding of yours was going to be impressive even if I'm not the best man," Esposito smiled and punched his best friend and partner softly in the arm. "Don't tell me you didn't hear that invitation Bro? It's a start."
"Yes, I heard it Javi, I also heard her say she would think about it. She didn't say yes," Ryan responded realizing that Castle and Beckett weren't aware that their conversation could be overheard by everyone in the bullpen.
"Oh, she is going to say yes. I would bet you $50 she will, but I don't want to take the money you need for your big day Bro." Esposito said smiling
"You bet $50? You would have to have inside info. Spill, what did Lanie tell you about this little wrinkle in the puzzle? Kevin replied, knowing his partner all too well,
"I don't need inside info, as Ryan shot him a look, "OK, OK, she told me that Kate was hoping to avoid the singles table. She didn't want to bring a date, and at first, Rick had a plus one, remember? Alexis got a better offer I guess, so Kate wasn't sure how to bring it up, guess she won't have to now that he asked her."
"I thought you and Lanie weren't on speaking terms after your wandering eye got busted the last time, we all went out." Ryan smiled, knowing how much his partner thought he was a Casanova, NOT.
"Well, we reached an understanding, no discussion about marriage or long-term commitments, at least for now. It's more or less a close friend with lots of benefits arrangement, but don't say anything, she's funny who knows her business."
Esposito gave Ryan the shush motion with one finger over his lips as the phone rang in the ME's office. "Hey Chica, yeah, they just left, but he did get the balls to ask her? What? Of course, she told him she would have to think about it, this is Beckett. OK, the next part is yours. See you soon, yeah, me too." He said and hung up.
"Lanie is going to work on her, subtly of course," Javi said, as Ryan, checked another chore off his list, God would he finish this in time to say I Do, he wanted to get married, not die from all the efforts planning for it he thought,
It seemed that love was in the air at the 12th precinct these days and all of them were secretly wishing two of the favorite people would get their heads out of their asses and act on what everyone else saw, even Captain Gates had been human lately.
XxX
Remy's Restaurant
25 Minutes Later,
Kate knew that Rick was hurt, no matter how hard he tried to disguise his feelings. Usually, the more he joked, the deeper he was hurt. They sat in what she had come to know as their booth, it had been theirs since the first lunch they enjoyed together almost three years ago. Rick was quiet, a sure sign that something was wrong,
"OK Rick, what's the matter?" Kate asked, as they sipped on their milkshakes and waited for their cheeseburgers and fries.
"Why would anything be the matter Detective? I mean, I was thinking about the proper wedding gift for Kevin and Jenny, I know they need a lot of things moving into the new home." He said, trying to cover,
"Rick, I thought the home WAS their wedding gift from you. I mean one day Kevin is all down in the dumps because they had found a home Jenny loved, one that he couldn't afford. Suddenly the title arrives from Anonymous, with the card that said, Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. I tried to get you something from the registry, but I thought you would like this better, enjoy, and love each other,
"Don't tell me you thought for a minute anyone didn't know where the home came from Rick" She said,
"I have no idea of what you're talking about, you know Jenny's folks are well off, so how do you know it wasn't a gift from them?" Rick asked,
"Because Kevin talked to the broker and got the description, one that matches your attorney Walter Haskins who paid by a certified check the same day. He's a proud man Rick, but Jenny had her heart set on that home, so he accepted it. He told me; he would pay you back if it took him the rest of his life." Kate said,
"No, he won't, what good is money if you can't use it to make people happy. How much is enough? Alexis and her kids, hell her grandkids are set for life.
"It was still a very nice thing to do Rick, one that he truly appreciates. I think that he lives to see his fiancé, well, wife after next week happy." Kate said as she glanced at the floor,
"As I said Detective, I was thinking about their gift, any ideas of what they could use that hasn't been promised for already?" He asked, turning the conversation back to someone other than himself.
Just then the food arrived, granting him another reprieve, and shortly after the meal he flagged a cab down, gave him her address, threw some bills his way, and tapped on the top,
"Wait" Kate ordered the cabbie,
"What are you going to do Rick?" She showed the concern she felt deep inside, Rick always appeared happy on the outside, but she knew he had gone through some very tough times, not only with her but almost everyone he ever had a relationship with.
"I've got some thinking to do, that, and something I need to take care of until tomorrow detective," he said and this time the cabbie did pull away from him. It was a long night for both of them, one walking through the park, the other soaking in a hot tub, wondering why she couldn't just tell the man she had feelings for the truth? Dr. Burke, her therapist had warned that life events had expiration dates on them, people would not always be so forgiving. The longer the lie, the longer the hurt.
XxX
12th Precinct
Next Morning 10:00 AM
Rick had arrived a little later than his usual time, not that Kate kept track or anything. A hot latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla flavoring and a warm bear claw appeared before her as he drank his coffee.
"Good morning, Castle, and thanks, I can use this today," Kate said, as she signed a form and placed it in the out basket,
"You're welcome detective, no case today?" he asked,
"Unfortunately for you, no but there's always your share of paperwork you can help with." She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood between them. She knew he knew, hell the bullpen knew there was trouble in paradise between them.
"No thank you, if I wanted that part of the job, I would have become a real cop. I'll finish my coffee and head out if you don't need me." He said, opening the door for her to start a meaningful conversation.
She did as she always did, come back with a smart-ass comment, "Sure Castle, I'm sure I'll manage without you, I don't know how I did it before you showed up" immediately kicking herself for being the same bitch to him.
Just then Espo came around the corner,
"Beckett, we got a case, murder at 49th and Lexington" as he placed the address on her desk, she reached for her purse and gun, Rick his coat, and out the door, they went.
He was still quiet as he sat next to the woman that everyone in New York knew he loved, stealing glances periodically at the dashboard then reverting to looking out the window as she drove. It had been over thirteen hours since he had asked the fateful question about the wedding, and going together to avoid the stigma of the singles table.
She had yet to mention even a single word about it, Rick was beginning to think maybe he had read her wrong these past few weeks, again. He had made the mistake before Demming, then again before Josh, was he doing it again? Her silence on the subject only gave him more doubt that she felt anything for him, other than as a partner.
"What is it, Castle," she asked catching him once again stealing a glance at her after a peek at the dashboard, before returning to his window gazing.
"What's what," he replied turning away from her, suddenly deeply interested in the construction crew she was just passing from her moving vehicle.
"Castle, since you arrived this morning, you have kept looking over at me with this weird look, you know what I mean."
"What look are you talking about Detective? I tried to stay out of your way until we got this call, so I don't know what look you're talking about." He replied, not cruelly but not in his usually happy voice,
"It's like I have two heads or something, or my blouse is on inside out, what's your problem?" Beckett demanded pulling up to 378 West 49th.
"What's my problem? You know what the problem is, better than anyone. I asked you a question about something before we left the precinct last night and went to Remy's. You haven't said one word about it, not even now, nothing. You're asking if I'm crazy, I guess you're right. It's crazy to expect some type of response, even if it's a go-to-hell Castle, " Castle explained turning over to look his partner in the eye, his gentle blue orbits now showing some fire.
"Is that a melodramatic question, Castle? Are you taking acting lessons from your mother now?" Once again, her smart mouth had found its mark. There were moments of silence before he replied,
"Beckett just tell me did I get it wrong, AGAIN? Like I did when you hooked up with Demming, then with Josh, then left the hospital for three months after promising to call? Am I wrong again? I thought, I thought you did as well that there is something between us. Since our talk on the swings, I felt things were getting better and I figured Ryan's wedding would be the perfect opportunity to enjoy our first formal date."
"Castle, I am not denying that things between us are getting better, but remember I told you, I needed time, but this isn't the time. I have a crime scene, a victim, and someone to lock up for their careless regard for life, it's my job." She saw his face drop, just for a second, then replaced with his professional smile,
"Sure, Detective, later maybe." He said and walked towards the guys who had just arrived on the scene,
"Castle, we'll talk about things later, once this case is solved," she called out to his back, still walking away from her, he simply held his hand up with the universal later sign and kept on walking.
A few moments later Detective Kate Beckett walked into the bedroom of Barb Clarring, a twenty-five-year-old administrative assistant, for a prestigious legal firm located downtown. It was Miss Clarring's apartment, but she wasn't the victim.
"What do we have, Lanie," Beckett asked. Her observation included noticing the man was barely covered, and the sheets were pink, hardly a man cave.
"28-year-old Caucasian male, two stab wounds, one to the middle of the heart, that's the fatal one. Our perpetrator added some additional damage. The nonfatal wound is in his groin," Dr. Lanie Parrish announced standing up from the bed, "from the body temperature, I'd place the TOD (time of death) within the last three hours. I can get you a closer time, once I get him back to the morgue"
"Thanks, Lanie, guys what have you found so far?" and the Detective was back 100%. How she could turn her emotions on and off like that, Rick was still amazed even after witnessing and being subject to it several times.
"Ouch, one to the groin, someone was pissed off at him, really pissed." Castle sighed in agony.
Esposito had observed Beckett and knew she wanted the facts, he stepped forward and started reading from his pad, " Daniel Grant, age twenty-eight, boyfriend of Barb Clarring. From what we can gather from the neighbors and Miss Clarring, Mr. Grant stays over a couple of times a week. She left for work at six this morning and he was very much alive as she put it. She came home early from work and found him in bed, like this."
"Did she say why did she come home early," Castle wondered?
"She said she was ill and left work early and was surprised to find Mr. Grant still here since he was scheduled to be at work at nine," Espo replied,
Just then another young man rushed into the apartment, "Barb, what happened?"
"Hal, it's Daniel, I came home early and I found him in my room. I can't believe it, we were so happy," she cried standing up from the couch and hugging the young man. Both of them had light brown wavy hair with blue eyes and the same facial features.
"Excuse me, you're in the middle of a police investigation, how the hell did you get past the yellow tape? Who the hell are you," Beckett asked walking into the living room?
"I'm Hal Clarring, I live here with my sister, Barb. I went under the tape when the officers weren't looking.
"Are you okay, Barb, Hal exclaimed while holding his sister and trying not to take a peek into his sister's bedroom. "I can't believe it's Daniel. What happened?"
Beckett didn't like the answer about going under the police tape, so she honed in on the young man,
"How did you find out about the murder," Beckett asked
"Daniel and I work together rather we used to. We worked together for about three years, that's how he and Barb met one night when she came to meet me at work about two years ago." Hal replied,
"Where is that Mr. Clarring?" Beckett wasn't backing off, the young man handed her a card,
Hal Clarring, Attorney at Law, Willard, Morgan, and Scott, one of the largest law firms in New York.
"We have been off and on since then, well mostly off until about six months ago. The past three months have been great between us; I was hoping it would lead to the question." The frightened young lady said, through her tears,
"The question?" Beckett looked puzzled
"The big question, Detective, the important one that a woman, well most women wouldn't forget," Castle interrupted.
"Enough Castle," Beckett snarled as she shot him a look that could kill. "Is there somewhere the two of you could stay for a couple of days?"
"Yeah, my best friend," Barb stated. "She has room for us and only lives a few blocks from here still close enough for Hal to walk to work."
"If you think of anything, anything at all here's my card. As an attorney, I don't have to remind you that we're letting you slide on the invasion of a crime scene Mr. Clarring." She handed each of them a business card,
"I would say I'm sorry Detective, but this is my sister, my only living relative, so you do what you have to do, and I'll see you in court." He suddenly had enough of the bossy lady cop and fluffed his feathers, the glare between him and Kate lasted all the way out the door.
XxX
12th Precinct
Two Hours Later
Beckett was in front of the Murder Board, adding the information gathered for Daniel Grant's name as well as Lanie's updated TOD, the estimated time of death on the board at the precinct.
"This doesn't make sense," Castle mumbled. "Barb Clarring said she left for work at five-forty-five for work at six and he was alive when she left. Lanie has determined TOD to be between six-thirty and seven and there was no forced entry. That means that either the door was left unlocked, OR someone had to have a key."
"Barb said he had stayed there a couple of times a week, from the look on her face when she spoke about him, I'm sure she gave him a key," Beckett suggested.
"I only give someone a key that I trust and know only to have my best interest at heart, not just someone I was sleeping with, wishing and hoping for him to ask the question." Castle said,
"Castle, You do realize I still have a key to your place, don't you?" Beckett blushed,
"I know you do, and I have a key to your place, to be used in emergencies only or risk getting shot, we've been over this already. It's not about you or me, it's about Barb and this guy she was allowing to sleep with her." He was beginning to get heated,
"Castle, not now, this isn't the time." Kate tried to shut him down, with her looks, but he was on a roll,
"I know, I know, you need time, the only problem is that It's never the right time, Kate. We have played this game for months, hell years. I can't count how many times we've circled around the topic; I'm not proposing Kate, I'm asking for you to move it one notch up, a date, just a date. I can't even get you free long enough to discuss that, it's always the job or some other reason." He was steamed now,
"Let's go, Castle, conference room now," Beckett demanded grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the interrogation room. She slammed the door and sat down across from him.
"Castle, you have to stop this, now is not the time, it sure as hell isn't the place to discuss us."
"Stop what, there is no us, there is no discussion Beckett, that's the problem" he pouted putting his elbows on the table "It's one big waiting game, always waiting on your timetable." He said, cooling off some, but still steamed,
"I thought you understood when we talked on the swings, I told you that I can't get involved with anyone until I catch my mother's killer. I can't do it, Rick, no matter if I want it or not. I thought you knew that I thought that out of everyone you would be the one that understood it more than anyone,"
Rick sat in silence, recalling the subtext of the conversation, mostly of her trying to get him to forgive her for lying, again, and deserting him,
Kate explained before wiping a tear away. "If you don't understand then I think it's time we stop working together."
Without a word, Rick pulled his hand that Kate had tried to hold back, walked to his chair, picked up his coat, and was down the stairs, not even waiting for the elevator. All Beckett could do was watch, perhaps this time had been the last time, he was definitely running out of patience, who could blame him.
TBC