My Next Broken Heart
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett and Castle have moved past her MIA time, and are working toward a relationship. Ryan's Wedding is an opportune time to display their progress, Or is it? NOTE Dates have been adjusted to make this story possible. This story is full of angst, some chapters will be rough, you've been warned.
Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
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Chapter 9
12th Precinct
25 Minutes Later
Friday Before Ryans Wedding
Jordan pulled into the VIP reserved parking spot with her Escalade and threw the placard, Official Business, U.S. Government on the dashboard. She didn't know how long she would be in the precinct but had to inform Mr. Mayor when Kate had been informed, so he could set the succession to Gates in motion. Captain Louis Holloway, SUV, would be filling in until a permanent replacement was named.
As they started toward the elevator, Jordan turned to Rick and asked, "Are you going to be, OK? You don't have to partake in this, even though it was your tips and Hunt's plan that brought the bastards down." Holding his hand tightly and locked on his eyes,
"Thanks, Jordan, I'll be fine, it's something she's been chasing for over ten years, I cost her the man who did the actual killing, the least I can do is see it through. I owe her Dad that much," He replied, still not himself, there was no smile, his eyes were not the bright pupils that always brightened her day.
They made it up the elevator to the fifth floor to be greeted by Captain Holloway, asking if they would need anything, and reminding Jordan Conference room one was still hers as long as she needed it.
"Thanks, Captain, I won't be tying up the room much longer, actually we're here to meet with Detective Beckett for a courtesy briefing, then we will be on our way" Jordan replied,
"Of course, Mr. Mayor told me that you would be in this morning, I've already briefed Beckett that she would be in a required meeting, so let me get her for you and send her to the room." He said as he walked away,
They stopped at the break room on their way, Rick made Jordan a large cappuccino, and his regular coffee then headed to the conference room to meet with Beckett. As they entered, they saw her sitting across the table, with a clear eyeshot of the door. As soon as they walked in, she began to twist a tissue she had between her hands.
"Relax Beckett, this is a preliminary screening the Chief, Commissioner, and Mayor wanted you to see before it hit the airwave. We have it on a DVD if you would like to meet your dad before it airs tonight at 6:00 PM, and be warned, every news outlet will be showing something different, by design.
"Why is Captain Holloway here? All he announced was that he was in command of the 12th by orders of Mr. Mayor until further notice, that more details would be furnished when available, is that part of that?" Kate asked,
"Why don't you watch the video we are about to show you, then we'll answer any questions you might have," Jordan replied as she had lowered the blinds, and locked the door. The volume was being supplied by wireless headphones each donned, just in case someone was lurking outside the door.
Kate was looking at the laptop, Rick and Jordan sitting across from her, they didn't need to see, they had witnessed the tape hundreds of times, before setting up the meeting with Beckett. They were still uncertain how she would react; she was furnished with the tape of Bracken, Simmons, and Gates along with the three Under Chiefs of police being led away in handcuffs. They could hear, sounds of shock, then tears flowed as they took Bracken into custody and read him his rights.
Just as Rick had predicted, she steadied herself and anger replaced the shock that was her initial reaction. "Castle you had no right to butt into my business, she was my mother, it was my duty to solve it." She got out through clenched teeth and a look that would kill any living soul in range.
Rick just looked away, letting Jordan handle the official reason why it had gone down the way it had. "Beckett, in the first place you would have gotten yourself, your team, and other countless cops killed. Bracken was watching you chase your ass, and laughing, so it became a federal matter when he put out the hit for the US Prosecutor of New York, read the letter from the AG.
"For your information, Rick had NOTHING to do with the takedown, other than furnish information on the missing link, Gates. She was the one piece we couldn't figure out, and probably why she wanted Rick out of the precinct so badly.
"I will share this with you, the takedown, the entire roundup of ALL of the perpetrators, came at a price, no not for you, but Rick in his personal business. I won't elaborate, on that you have the DVD to show your Dad before it airs on TV, that's on you now.
"I'm leaving now, you two should talk, I'll see you in a while, Rick, remember what I said, as she patted his hand and walked out the door, stopping to give Avery her second in command instructions about cleaning the room when Rick left.
Rick remained silent, he hadn't uttered a word since they arrived, Kate knew he was upset, hurt, angry but she didn't know how to fix it, not yet, but she had to.
"Rick, Jordan said it cost you to bring this all about, could I ask you what it was, and why, why now?" She asked, gently,
"As for my personal cost, that's really none of your business, as for why and why now? I invited you to be my plus one at tomorrow's wedding ceremony, thinking we could elevate what I mistakenly had believed we had been working for the past three months to the next level, a safe date with your co-workers looking on to eliminate the questions.
"You responded by using more of the subtext you used on the swings when you came looking for me, after radio silence for over four months, I told you then you didn't have to do it alone. I guess that meant as much to you as my declaration of love as I held you, and tried like hell to keep life in your body. A body that was carrying the fetus of your Boyfriend, Doctor Josh Davidson even then.
"What were you thinking Beckett? You kept a picture of the fetus and you and Josh together smiling, and the very next day continue throwing me hints that you were or would be available. What kind of a sadistic bitch does that? What have I ever done to hurt you so badly you would do this? What did you think, the baby would just go away? That I would say OK, Josh, you got your kid, you can see them, but now she's with me? You knew you didn't love him, so why make a baby?
"Finding out why you lied hurt Kate, finding out the entire lie to cover another huge whopper of a lie by the source that I did, almost destroyed me. My mind went racing back to the day my daughter, mother, and those who love me still swear I was trying to take the bullet for you, which I swear I wasn't. To see that smug son of a bitch's face in mine, rubbing it in, brought back the pain of that day, my broken ribs, times ten.
"No wonder you said you didn't remember anything after standing at the podium, you were still pregnant in your mind when you first saw me. The fight with Josh about your miscarriage, and my part in it, by slamming you to the ground, and your eventual breakup came later. Tell me, Kate, would you ever had told me, I mean the complete truth? Or would it have been part of your past, that belongs to your life, for you to live the way you choose?
"Rick, please allow me to tell my side of the story please, you were always fair, that's all I'm asking is a chance to tell you the what and why?" Kate pleaded,
"In case you've forgotten Detective, I have a daughter so I don't need a refresher of what and why you got it on with your boyfriend. What I want to know is two things, WHEN would you have told me the truth had you not lost the baby? When you started showing, hell, Gates, Roz and Anne already caught you heaving per your words.
"The other truth I need to hear from you is WHY? WHY would you treat me that way? I'm busy busting my ass trying to wrap everything up in a neat bow so if we were able to connect at the wedding, your excuse of entering a relationship would be gone. I should have remembered, it never stopped you from trying to get it on with Royce, then the Demming debacle, and finally your baby daddy Josh. There was no doubt he wasn't out of town all the time, was there?
"Why lead me on Kate? Did that give you power? Hell, I've been dumped by beauty queens, Miss New York dumped me, it's not the rejection, it's the lies. You told one to cover an even bigger one, and just like in the Demming case, your boyfriend was the one to bust you with the truth." Rick said as he gathered his materials together,
"He's not my boyfriend, and hasn't been for quite a while, and I keep saying I'm sorry you found out in that fashion, I was just about to tell you before Jordan called and you had to take it. I mean,"
"Cut the shit Beckett, you try to deflect every time you're backed into a corner, Jordan was working on YOUR case, making sure all of the NY Rats were going down, I had some information she needed, I haven't fucked her, I certainly haven't made a baby with her, at least yet.
"Why would you care anyway? You know you can save your bullet; you won't have to shoot me and fill out the paperwork anymore Beckett, you're on your own, Good Luck Detective" she hadn't noticed, but as he was talking, he was collecting all of the artifacts he had collected during his stay at the 12th.
He must have moved them there before she knew anything was taking place, he stood, now and said, "Good-Bye Beckett, I'd like to say it's been fun, but one liar in the room is plenty," as he reached the door, turned the handle, and walked out, of the room, and her life. She sat and watched as her thoughts and dreams of somehow her talking to Rick and making this all-better shatter and fall into pieces before her.
Tomorrow was Kevin's wedding, maybe she could find the words to express to him how sorry she was, then again, the look in his eye told her, not to bother. The line had been crossed, more than crossed, and he was finally done with her, even as a colleague much less a friend or lover. How could she have been so stupid?"
XxX
Next Day
Saint Marks Church
10:00 AM
Today was the day, the day Jenny and Kevin had been waiting for, what seemed like forever was finally here, their wedding day. Kevin looked like a little boy as he bounced around the lobby of the church greeting guests as they arrived.
Kate had taken her seat, escorted by Espo on the end of a pew where she could get some photos of the happy couple. Cameras were allowed, as long as no flash was involved in taking the pictures, so Kate was snapping away with the last Christmas gift she had received from Rick.
One picture she had no intention of capturing was the lovely Jordan Shaw, arriving on the arm of Rick a few minutes later. They took seats a few rows behind her, she knew that she was absolutely the last person on earth Rick wanted to see, who could blame him. Rick was flashing his publicity smile until he saw Kevin, gave him a Bro hug, shook his hand, and told him how happy he was for him.
You could tell that Kevin hung on Rick's every word, until Espo came with some young kid, with glasses, apparently Jenny's brother and his best man.
"It's time Bro, you ready?" Espo asked
Rick gave him a firm hug, "you got this Kev, you're a lucky man, you have no idea of how lucky, now go get married before I steal her away" he smiled the real smile was there this time.
Espo, Kevin, and Jeff, the best man trailed to the altar, took their places nervously, as the congregation awaited instructions from the priest to stand, and acknowledge the bride coming down the aisle. Finally, the priest stepped forward,
"Please rise, and remain standing please" as the music began to play, it wasn't the traditional wedding march, rather it was a beautiful song, Beautiful in White, by an Irish Singer, so appropriate, Shane Filan. As the words came from the speakers from that lovely voice, Kate thought how appropriate, it sounded just like Kevin when he got nervous,
Not sure if you know this
But when we first met
I got so nervous I couldn't speak
In that very moment
I found the one and
My life had found its missing piece
So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white
And from now 'til my very last breath
This day I'll cherish
You look so beautiful in white
Tonight
What we have is timeless
My love is endless
And with this ring I
Say to the world
You're my every reason
You're all that I believe in
With all my heart I mean every word
She couldn't help but see Rick and Jordan looking back at Jenny and the wedding party as they made their way down the aisle, She thought Rick mouthed, "Jenny, you're beautiful, to which she mouthed back, "Thanks Rick, we love you", she knew that Jordan had snuck a peek her way, but Rick wouldn't look that way if his life depended on it. He would see the back of her head for the remainder of the service.
Kevin and Jenny had written their vows, another task that Kevin had relied on Rick to help him out with, and as they repeated them, it was clear of the love between the two people standing in front of the congregation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Kevin and Jennifer have chosen to write personal vows to each other, we will now hear Jennifer's vow to Kevin. Jennifer, please proceed when you are comfortable,
Jennifer cleared her throat a few times, looked up, and then said in a loud firm voice,
"Kevin Ryan, I love you, and I can hardly believe I'm standing here today becoming your wife, I pledge to honor you by the following,
"I promise to encourage your compassion,
Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful.
I promise to nurture your dreams,
Because through them your soul shines.
I promise to help shoulder our challenges,
For there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together.
I promise to be your partner in all things,
Not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole.
Lastly, I promise you not perfect love and perfect trust, but as close as we can come,
For one lifetime with you could never be enough.
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things."
"I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.
I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving.
And I promise to try to be on time.
But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
I love you, Kevin, Today, Tomorrow, Forever."
There were some misty eyes in the congregation, most notably the macho Javi Esposito shed a tear at those words.
"Those were beautiful Jennifer, now we'll hear Kevin's vows to you,"
Kevin took a deep breath took a glance at Rick, who flashed him the thumbs-up sign, then looked directly at his bride and began to speak,
"Jennifer O'Malley,
"You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I'm the one who is standing here, pledging my love to you in our wedding ceremony,
"I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you."
"I promise to be your lover, companion, and friend,
Your partner in parenthood,
Your ally in conflict,
And your greatest fan and your toughest defender.
"Your comrade in adventure,
Your student and your teacher,
Your consolation in disappointment,
Your accomplice in mischief.
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things. All things
"But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
I love you, Jenny, Today, Tomorrow, Forever."
He took a deep breath, as Jenny dabbed at her eyes, clearly touched by his vows.
"Very well, having pledged your love to one another, before God, and your friends, and by each declaring your pledge to remain committed to this matrimonial union, by the power vested in me, by the Church, and the great state of New York, I now proclaim to all men, the union between these two is ordained, and now each may call each other husband and wife, you may kiss your bride.
A small round of applause was heard, the priest just smiled, knowing the Ryan family for years, he was surprised this was as loud as they had gotten during the entire ceremony. Beautiful in White started to play once again, this time much louder as Kevin walked with his bride to the rear of the church, pausing only to fist bump Rick on his way down the aisle.
It took a while for the packed church to empty row by row, starting in the front and proceeding backward. Kate tried to resist looking at Rick as she walked past, but she couldn't, she glanced up, and he was fixed on one of the crosses or statues on the altar. He wouldn't look her way, as Jordan just patted his hand gently,
She made it past his aisle, to the receiving line, hugging both Kevin and Jennie, "That was beautiful, both of you with such sweet vows, you had me in tears, both of you" she said, as Jenny smiled,
"You? Try saying them when you know the church is packed, and that this one had the best-selling writer helping him with his, plus looking into his eyes. Thanks, Kate, I'm glad you came, it made Kevin feel so much better to see you, well everyone in the audience.
Kevin hugged her and whispered, "you guys will work things out, it's Castle, he's nuts about you," then let her go, to step back and look into the sad eyes, of Kate,
"Not this time Kev, I went way too far over the line and there's no coming back from this, hey, you don't worry about that. You two enjoy your honeymoon, I won't be at the reception so call me when you get back, we'll catch up." She said, as she hugged them both once again, before leaving, the side door, it had nothing to do with the appearance of a certain writer three people behind in line.
"Rick, thank you so very much, the vows were lovely, I'll treasure them always," Jenny said,
"Well, you're thanking the wrong guy, your husband wrote them, I just pointed him in the right direction. I swear every word that he uttered was one he wrote, that's why he didn't need his paper, he had gone over it so often." Rick smiled the genuine smile,
"He did? I'm sorry Kev, I should have had more faith in your ability," she laid her head on his shoulder,
"Hey, no problem, I would have thought Rick wrote them as well, but he handed me a couple of samples and told me to close my eyes, and to think of you and me in that scenario, he helped me rephrase a verse but it just flowed when I thought about how much I loved you," Kevin said, still smiling,
"Well, you call Janice about a half hour before you sneak out of your reception, don't tell anyone and she'll take care of everything. You guys enjoy, make a ton of memories, that's what gets you through the tough times. We'll see you in a bit over at the hall, Jordan hugged them both, and then they walked to Rick's car.
Jordan was searching for something to say, "Was that the truth, Kevin wrote those vows himself?" she asked,
Rick smiled, "Yes he did, I wouldn't let him copy or cheat the way he wanted to, I saw Javi shed a tear, so I knew they were good." He said,
"Thank you for your handkerchief, by the way, I don't know how many of those you give away," she laughed, "my eyes couldn't hold it any longer, some memories always flood back no matter how much you think you're over it." She said softly,
"I thought so, Tom and you had a lot of good years, who knows Jordan, I"
"Rick, did you miss the part he married the skank he cheated on me with, she's almost 18 years younger than him, " she said sadly,
"I'm sorry Jordan, I really am. I didn't know this would hurt you so much or I wouldn't have asked you to come," Rick said,
"Hey, I think I kinda forced my way, and it's good for me to remember the good times, then I remember how he destroyed them all by what he did, so I'm better now. Who the hell stays hooked on a cheater like him," she said, both wondering who she was trying to convince, herself or Rick?
He was wondering the same thing, how could he have fallen so hard for as Jordan had put it a cheater, no more, he wouldn't allow it.
"Rick, do you want to go somewhere before the reception, I mean we have a few hours," Jordan asked,
"Sure, I could use a good cup of coffee, where do you suggest?" He asked,
"We're overdressed, but I'm not a big fan of wedding food, how about Remy's? I could use a cheeseburger and milkshake now that I proved I could pour myself into this dress, you may have to cut it off, but hell, I'm starving." She laughed,
Rick laughed, "I'm glad you suggested it, but it was high on my list as well, let's go"
TBC