My Next Broken Heart

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett and Castle have moved past her MIA time, and are working toward a relationship. Ryan's Wedding is an opportune time to display their progress, Or is it? NOTE Dates have been adjusted to make this story possible. This story is full of angst, some chapters will be rough, you've been warned.

Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

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Chapter 10

12th Precinct

28 Months Later

The events of that day had shaken not only the 12th but the entire NYPD to its knees. No one would have ever spotted Gates as one of the dirty cops, Rick just picked up on her when she was so insistent that he and his connection to the Mayor's office, one that was without corruption, parked in her house had to go. If she had been more subtle, less by the book regulation hard ass, he might have just passed his feeling aside.

She turned out to be the motherload of information about Bracken and so many other city officials, and as they say, sang like a bird. When she cut her deal, she instantly became the most hated woman in NYPD history, by the good cops who had felt her wrath and hypocritical actions when she was the one doling out punishments as a member of Internal Affairs, a department no cop ever liked, now even hated more.

She entered WITSEC (Federal Witness Protection Program), which had to be handled by US Marshals from the West Coast because the hatred ran so deeply for her authorities were afraid of leaks from East Coast personnel who knew, or had been associated with her, directly or indirectly.

The hatred ran deeper from the Senator she helped bring down, and his connections although severely crippled could not be assured were completely dead. They were only one source she needed to fear, there were also cops, make those former cops that she had cost their careers because of some made-up evidence against them. She knew she wouldn't last ten minutes inside a prison, even in solitary confinement, her only choice was to co-operate, and that she did.

Mayor Weldon approached Kate, Roz, and Captain Holloway about the opening at the 12th for a permanent position. Holloway made it clear, he wanted no part of the mess Gates had left to clean up, he only had 7 months to go before he was retiring and he wasn't about to bust his ass on this mess.

Surprisingly Weldon chose Roz over Beckett to succeed Gates as Captain, was it really a surprise, at least to those who really knew what had gone on between her and the writer? Weldon had heard how his friend had been treated, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't promote someone who would do something so cruel

FLASHBACK TO PROMOTION DAY

"Well, Beckett, I'll wait to move my stuff into the office until your appeal is heard, you'll probably get it, hell you always get what you want," Roz said, to her when the announcement was made,

"No Roz, I don't want the job, I'm happy just being a detective. I'll help you any way I can, we both know that Gates had no clue of what she was doing, and I know it's a mess, I wouldn't envy that job for love or money" she replied,

It took Roz, three administrative assistants, and the complete homicide teams three weeks just to make sense of the fraudulent reports Gates had filed. Roz had to start back to the day Roy had died to get the financial reporting straightened out, and even then, some of the records had been destroyed, rather than retained per policy.

Javi had returned from his stint at the Gang Unit, more humbled, or perhaps it was because Kate wasn't the same after the writer left the precinct for good. His last act was to remove his chair and toss it in the dumpster, where Javi had originally retrieved it from four years earlier. Beckett lost her smile, her friendly banter with everyone, she was friendly, but kept everything to herself, never attending any social functions, except for the christening of Sara Grace Ryan, Kevin, and Jenny's firstborn.

The Christening ceremony was one of the rare occasions that anyone from the 12th had seen Rick, or even heard his name. It was almost like he wanted to disappear, and had done a great job in doing so. When the case was first over, He and Jordan had vacationed together on a cruise, but few pics revealed anything more than a deep friendship between them. She had returned to Chicago, alone, when they returned and they hadn't had any spotting or reports of them being together since.

Rick became active in charities, especially those for kids and often he would be auctioned off to the highest bidder to ladies with, or sources of large amounts of cash. The age range from the ladies "WINNING" the auctions ranged from 22 to 65, it didn't matter to Rick, it was merely a date with a celebrity to raise funds for St. Jude, or some hunger relief effort, even for surgeries for kids born with birth defects easily corrected by plastic surgery.

Kate kept a scrapbook of every clipping of Rick, and any news she could find. She wrote letters to him three times a week the first few months, all with the same result. They were returned with his crisp script, written precisely with a black sharpie, Return to Sender, No Such Person, always returned, never opened. She visited Doctor Burke and tried to accept as he had put it, the results of your actions.

Current Time

It had been over a year now, hell, two years but who keeps count when you're having fun, she was just beginning to accept the loss, her loss, both professionally and personally. The only connection to him now was by her sending birthday cards to Alexis, Martha, and even a graduation gift when Alexis graduated as Valedictorian of her class.

Alexis and Martha both ALWAYS acknowledged her gift, with a very gracious note, nothing mentioned about Rick, but at least the common courtesy wasn't totally gone between her and his family. She could only stand on the sidelines and observe as he conducted his book signings, he had developed a new character, many said based on Jordan, similar to Clara Strike, but much sexier and adult-themed. It only left her to wonder, just what was his and Jordan's relationship? Could he guard it that well?

The female Federal Agent was a kick-ass, but sexy female, usually coming to the aide of an inept female police detective who had managed to get too far out of her jurisdiction, crossing her lines of authority, and in situations way over her head. It wasn't hard to draw the reference to who played what role in character development, not only by her but many others as well.

To the fans it didn't matter, he was writing after almost two years away, and they loved it. She loved it, hell she was still a charter member of his fan site, and still on automatic purchase of anything he published.

Her days were almost carbon copies of the day before, with the exception of the weird case, AKA Beckett flavored as Javi had named them. The especially cruel, or weird cases were always sent to Beckett's team, and she held the highest closure rate not only in the precinct but in the entire state of New York.

She was proud of that record and wore it as a badge of honor until she overheard two cops talking about her when they didn't see her.

"Hey did you see Beckett today, great set of legs on that one" Vince Dodd said to his partner, Larry Chambers,

"Yeah, she's got great legs, but, well the price of admission to her funhouse is far too high for me." He replied,

"I don't know she's not that tight ass cop she wants everyone to think she is, hell, look who's already tapped her, hell Demming did on the second date. The only poor bastard who never got close was Castle, which to me was weird" Chambers said,

"What do you mean by that?" Vince asked

"You never wondered why she'd shag a lowly cop, and give a millionaire writer a hard time about even sitting next to her? Sure, there were rumors later, but that poor guy never got to first base with her, and she wrecked him, that's all I'm going to say" Larry replied,

"Yeah, I heard about the doctor knocking her up, and her still making goo-goo eyes at the writer, I mean that is cold brother. That's why she's so proud of that damn closure rate, it's the only thing she can close. Most guys are steering clear of her now, I mean she's colder than the iceberg that sank the titanic." Vince said,

"You better not be spreading that rumor around about her and the doc's baby, I mean, no one ever validated it, but there's a reason why Castle left in the manner he did," Larry warned,

"LT said, he didn't say a word, picked up his chair, walked it over to the dumpster, tossed it, then turned and left for the last time. Something happened, that chair toss was symbolic of trashing something more than some old chair he was forced to sit on all those years," Vince added

"Whatever it is, I don't want to find out, to me, I'd do her, but I wouldn't chase her to get it. I mean now Roz or Anne, those two 8 days a week" Larry kidded, as Vice told him, You know you're not the young stud you used to be, and either would kill you, "

Kate had heard enough and walked away. Sure, it was guy talk but that's when they told the truth. Her ego had taken a hit, as well as the knowledge that her dirty little secret was more well known throughout the precinct than she had hoped.

She doubled down on her privacy, vowing never to be the subject of such talk again. She had to admit it hurt when an overweight patrol officer had rated "her price of admission to her funhouse to be too high," she was never a beauty queen but that comment brought her back to earth with a loud thud of her body slamming to the ground.

XxX

Castle's Loft

Next Day

Rick had just returned from his latest book tour, a very successful one that encompassed 6 states and 15 cities, including Chicago. He had spent a lovely evening last night with Jordan, once again, there was smoke but not enough coals to deliver the fire. She loved him, he knew, and in his own way, he truly loved her. She had offered to let him spend the night, but he knew it would lead to trouble for them both.

FLASHBACK LAST EVENING

"Jordy, it's not that I'm not attracted to you, hell, everyone knows I am. I keep going back to when you first came to New York and told me just to be sure I had her out of my system, I won't lie to you. I'm trying and it's getting better each day, but I won't hurt you, not for physical gratification, not ever. " He whispered as he held her tight,

"I know Rick, I wish sometimes I had never said that I wish I would have just had my way with you, and perhaps that would help you forget her quicker." She smiled at him,

"Well, the only problem is Jordy, Beckett and I only shared a kiss, well I kissed her then she returned it, but it meant nothing to her. We were undercover and it was our only chance to take out the lookout for the thugs who were torturing Ryan and Espo. We never talked about it after the case, she was with the Doctor, so I just dropped it." He said quietly,

"Hey, can't blame a girl for trying, can you? I'm here Rick, but I am beginning to test the waters. It's been long enough now to not judge every man according to Tom's faults. I just hope you find happiness, if not with me, with someone. You know Roz and Paula would"

"OK, OK, let me kiss you goodnight, and I'm glad you're getting yourself out there. Someone is looking for you, and I hope he finds you. Disclaimer, if you do find him, tell him if he ever hurts you, they will NEVER find the body, and I'm serious. We've both had enough heartache to last a lifetime,

"Goodbye Jordy, thanks for the great day, and your friendship, you'll never know just how much you mean to me, call me if you ever need me," as he kissed her as if he knew it would be for the last time. Women as beautiful as Jordan Shaw wouldn't be on the market long at all, so in a way, it was a goodbye.

His thoughts turned back to the present time, as he gathered the mail from the counter and began his ritual of pre-sort, three piles, one to read, one don't even open the other with a question mark. He sorted through the offers for free funerals, you might already be a winner, even the advertisements from the car dealer with a key attached telling him if the key fit, he had won a new Mercedes.

He smiled as he saw the card from Alexis and her fiancé Mike, they were touring Europe before both settled into Doctorate programs, and new jobs. He read it quickly, "Hey Daddy, Things are great, wish I could share all the good times, take care of yourself and we'll see you soon, Love Alexis and Mike,"

He was still getting used to the fact that they were living together, and all the things that came with that. Uggggg, that was his little girl, his pumpkin, then he knew how Mr. Boyle had felt the first time he had caught him and Erin in a compromising position, so many years ago. Enough of that, as he reached for the mail.

He came across an envelope from El Salvidor, and almost pitched it until he realized it wasn't a form letter, it was really someone's handwriting. He poured himself his three fingers of single malt and took the letters to his office to read at the comfort of his desk. He placed the one from El Salvidor at the bottom, it was probably some request for money, he'd deal with it later.

The first letter he saw was Kate's typical monthly letter, she was persistent, at least it was only once a month he received them, not like at first when they came 3 or 4 times each week. He pulled out his black sharpie, marked a single line through his address, and marked his familiar message, "RETURN TO SENDER, NO SUCH PERSON" then capped the sharpie and moved to the next letter.

He thought as he opened the next letter, at least it was getting easier to reject her mail, at first, he struggled for hours on end before finally sending them back. There were lines that you can't cross and maintain a relationship, this was one. Finally, he had worked his way to the last letter, the handwritten one from someone in El Salvidor, he carefully opened it and took out the three pages of handwritten text. Shock couldn't describe his initial reaction as he read the opening paragraph. His hands began to tremble as he read,

"Dear Kate and Rick,

I'm probably the last person you ever expected to hear from, especially with our past history and the way things were left between all three of us. I have so much to say, and this is very difficult for me to do, especially after all this time.

"First Rick, you are getting a photocopy of the original letter I sent to Kate, just to be sure you both receive the same news, worded the same to remove any doubt. My wife Adrian and I are now serving as both physicians and missionaries here in El Salvador, but I have a massive sin I must confess to, and beg forgiveness. Our teachings tell us we can never truly be forgiven unless we right the wrongs we have done in our past.

"This is going to be difficult, for you both, and if you want to kill me, I wouldn't blame either of you. OK, enough, Kate, you were NEVER PREGNANT with my child, I used my connections at the hospital as well as slipping bitters into your food so it would simulate morning sickness. The internal exam that you had was real, it was done by an OB/GYN friend of mine to fix her up with a doctor on my rotation. She pulled out pre-staged results, including labs that would convince you that you were pregnant.

"Kate, I'm not sure if you remember it, but the technician running the ultrasound machine was having problems with the equipment, that's when Dr. Gwen, switched from live to a looped, pre-recorded feed of a fetus, beating as she simulated the movements. To her, the tech, she thought the equipment had malfunctioned and the Doctor was able to get it to work again, but it was all part of my plan.

"I know you're screaming if not on a plane in route to kill me by now, but the reason WHY I went to such an elaborate ruse, was I knew Kate was getting ready to break up with me any day, I knew I was losing her to you, Rick.

"I'm a different man now than I was then, and when I think back on how I cheated you both out of a relationship, I had to confess and beg your forgiveness. I know it's something that is truly unforgivable but as my wife, Adrian said, you have to confess and ask for their mercy. I thank God every day she has decided to stay with me, AS LONG as I confess and make any form of restitution to you both that I can.

"I know I can never make it right, or give you the time I've stolen from you both, but I am humbly asking for your forgiveness, I can't earn it, I don't deserve it, but I am asking for it with this confession and all my soul and heartfelt apology to you both.

"Please, Rick, forgive Kate for something she NEVER was guilty of, and Kate, PLEASE forgive Rick for acting as any man would act in those circumstances. I should have confessed to you both much earlier, I should have never tried to hold on to Kate by those devious means, I lost her anyway as well as part of my soul that day.

"Secrets will eat your heart away, I almost lost my wife Adrian until I confessed to her, and she helped me formulate this plan. Things will never be the same between us, there will always be the reminder of how evil a person I was, but she is working on trying to forgive me. I ask each of you two to do the same,

"I will be happy to provide this as sworn testimony should you want to place a polygraph on me, or have my medical license revoked, I deserve whatever comes. This is the truth and has lifted a deep burden off my heart and soul.

"If one or both wish to bring charges against me, either criminal or civil, please contact my attorney, details are attached to arrange my flight back to New York, I will not contest any action you take.

"Once again in closing, I know I'm sorry can't begin to cover the pain you both have felt, but know that I must live with the hurt I caused you both every day for the rest of my life. Don't let this be a life sentence for either of you, there is far too much love to be thrown away. Once again, I am sorry and beg your forgiveness,

"Humbly,

"Josh"

Rick was shaking, from nerves, from shock, from the ruse that had ruined his plans for a happy ever after with Kate, or at least made a huge contribution to it. He poured himself a generous 5 fingers of whiskey, he couldn't be drunk, but he needed to steady his nerves.

He was thinking, Josh did say that Kate got the original letter, his letter was just a copy, so when would she have received it, checking the postmark, he realized it had come in today's mail.

Just then his phone rang with her tone, he had unblocked her number only moments before, he answered,

"Hello Kate, what's new?"

She started to laugh, then cry, as she asked, "Did you get something from Josh in the mail?"

"I just got home today, and I just finished reading it, we need to talk, and I need to say how sorry I am for being such an ass." He said warmly into the phone,

"Do you mean that Rick, I know there were more issues, but that was the one that we never could get past, are you ready to talk now?" She asked softly,

"Yes, Yeah, I am, if you're ready to talk, and Kate, no lies, no matter what the question please," He said,

"Rick, open your door, I promise, you can put me on a polygraph if you even think I'm lying, I've waited too long for" the door flew open and she kissed his lips as she had never kissed him before,

When she finally had to break for air, "I was saying, I've waited too long for this, for you, and us."

The End,

We can entertain a sequel to this one, once the shock wears off IF there is enough interest. I hope you found this to be intriguing and as I read each comment wringing of the hands about, they were ready to throw in the towel for a Caskett ending, I couldn't prolong it another four or five chapters, that would have been cruel.

One Polite Guest Reviewer asked questions that needed to be answered, I'm sorry this is my only way of communicating with you,

Apologies if I have missed this in the story but when exactly was Beckett pregnant and when did she miscarry? Beckett first let Josh appear in earlier in Season 3, much to the surprise of the boys' Rick and Montgomery. For sake of this writing, she slept with Josh the first night EARLIER in that season and got pregnant meaning she was 14 weeks pregnant when she went for the ultrasound and took the picture with Josh and the fetus, shortly before she was shot.

I'm reading it as she was pregnant when she was shot? YES

That she was still pregnant when she spoke with Castle on the swings? NO, She lost the baby either because of the shooting or Castle throwing her to the ground. She had not been told yet when Castle came to see her, so she lied to Castle about not hearing because she hadn't figured out how to tell him about the pregnancy, remember she was pregnant before the shooting and had no reason to believe differently until told. Josh told her after Castle's visit, they fought, broke up, and then she went to the cabin

I received messages, reviews, and emails about this story from both sides, many were published because as one guest so aptly pointed out Whiskey and how I phrased the story would have had disastrous results. It was a correction to the facts, which I welcome. I also deleted many of the reviews pointing out that Rick should be ashamed of himself, and Jordan must be a slut to lose her child, not in our storyline, but to address them here, Rick had nothing but the absolute right to hate Beckett, she was carrying another man's child, others at the precinct knew, the only one who didn't was him making him out to be a jackass. I also received messages that no matter what I wrote it was too far-fetched to be realistic, as far as I know, this is the first approach at this angle, and you notice not everything in my ending was hunky-dory, it was just the start of the two. My familiar readers know to watch for the TWIST in the story, something that turns it around, and if Josh and his new wife's actions didn't I have no idea of what would.

One final point, I also receive reviews, from guests, of course, pointing out a grammatical error, one pointed out pedaling versus pedalling, the entire 7 chapters and this is the review they sent, also with a suggestion for BETA of grammar check, to them I say find another writer, another story. To that GUEST I say, people who post here do so because they are trying to keep the fandom alive in some way through their writings, none of us are pros. If we were it would be a subscription basis and you would be paying us to read, so the point is, read the story knowing it has been spell checked, grammar checked, and then read to see if it makes sense, if something is missed, especially one word, you are wasting your time sending me a four-paragraph review to tell me what I should do to be 100% perfect. I write for my own enjoyment, if you like it great, if you don't there are new stories each day to choose from. No one asked your advice, no one cares if one word occasionally is misspelled, by the way, auto-correct screws up a lot of words, I need to go back and change back, perhaps the word you honed in on was one I missed.

To the many guests who read and review, Thank You, I value your input. To those who offer suggestions, I tend to take those as potential Story Prompts, Kbecekettcaste, you offered one in your review of wanting to see Rick and Jordan hook up and have a baby, perhaps I can turn that into a story. I try to honor your wishes in your story and warn others that Caskett is not going to happen. Finally to those I have had dialogue with, thanks for exchanging points of view. We won't always agree, but I don't think you're the enemy if we disagree. If it's respectable and constructive meaning offering reasons why you see the situation differently, other than Beckett is hot, or I don't like Rick, he's a man child, I might adjust the storyline, but NEVER because you don't like blondes, or YOU don't think the lady is Rick's type. Not all fics can address every issue, so if you feel something has been left out, please send me a message or include it in your review, I do listen and try to improve, but I won't be hounded into writing a story that fits one critic's parameters. I love it when someone tells me there's no way I can do something, then they have to read the ending proving them wrong. If you know anything about my stories, it's not over until I mark them Complete. Thanks for listening to the rant,

Till Next Time

Tim